This morning, Shining Armor thought that his daughter's goth phase was his biggest worry. Now, he has to deal with a retired stage magician, a smoke monster that refuses to stay dead, the dumbest possible parallel universe, AND his daughter's goth phase.

Nothing about this makes any sense... and why does King Sombra seem oddly afraid of Trixie...?

Quite possibly the crackiest of all crack fics I have ever written for any fandom to date. I wrote this in about a week and had an absolute BLAST writing it. Contains...

• Trixie's verbal tic maxed out to the point where it becomes a plot point of sorts
• brooding goth Flurry Heart, complete with goth name
• card tricks
• the Crystal Empire having quite possibly worse security protocols than it does in canon
• nopony taking anything quite as seriously as they probably should
• Shining Armor making a few rather questionable choices involving his daughter's safety
• card tricks
• a magic mirror portal that ought to be yeeted into the sun or moved to the SCP Foundation HQ
• trace amounts of Applejack
• an homage to the best Mumbo and Grian comedy skit from the Last Life series on YouTube
• card tricks

Inspired by TWO contests!

Entering this into the Portal Transformations Contest I.

Also, after some consideration and checking with Muggonny, entering this into the Shining Armor is a Terrible Dad 2024 Competition. It blasted WAY past the max word count, but I'll just have to live with the wordcount penalty.

Flurry Heart is in trouble. Her homework has come under scrutiny by the trio of crack educators: Mrs. Crayonne, Mr. Integral, and most daunting of all, the peerless Miss Hardcase.

Can Shining navigate a parent-teacher meeting?

Written for the 'Shining Armour is a Terrible Dad' contest. With minimal time to spare, as is my custom.

It's important for a princess to learn to defend herself. It's important for a father to make sure their daughter is happy. It's important for a guard to survive cataclysmic events.

Written for the Shining Armor is a Terrible Dad 2024 Competition

Special thanks to EileenSaysHi for editing and giving some extra ideas.

What joy, I've a treat for you:
A lovely warm dinner of Scootaloo stew.

It’s sweet and delicious,
I'm so sinfully kind.
I left in the hooves,
I hope you don’t mind.

With huge thanks to Bad Horse for pre-reading!

Lyra shares far, far too much information with Big Macintosh about her love life.

Written for EQD's Writer's Training Grounds #011.

(Audio version by Pony Tales.)

It is not difficult to grasp the notion that Rainbow Dash has very little in the ways of scientific or thaumatic knowledge. But, sadly, that doesn't stop her from having ideas. It especially doesn't stop her having ideas that are based on the assumption that she does have some amount of scientific or thaumatic knowledge.

In short: try not to be within ten miles of Rainbow Dash when she has ideas.

Cover art (and story inspiration) courtesy of Irusu.

Reading by Rainbow Infinity Readings.

Russian Translation by oranzinispegasas.

Rarity's quest for love led her from Tartarus to Canterlot. Now, wielding powers beyond comprehension, she rules over Equestria.

Now, if only she could understand how Fluttershy's little cult had gained thousands of members virtually overnight, or why the cult's second-in-command, Twilight Sparkle, always seems to be one step ahead of her...

Some RariTwi written for the December Crackship Contest. My prompt was "Heartless Dictator Rarity + Cult Meeting + Star Student Twilight" (and since she appears on the "Cult Meeting" card, I decided to also use "Cult Leader Fluttershy")

Cover art done by the amazing Earthsong9405 (Tumblr, DeviantArt). Given how her AUs (via Monochromatic's "The Sphinx's Riddle" and "The Princess's Choice") have warmed me up to RariTwi, I found it rather fitting to commission her to do the coverart for this RariTwi AU.

Sex tag might be overly cautious, but I prefer that over being banhammered. Nothing explicit, no smut here, it's just being mentioned/discussed, and Rarity has some short fantasies that she is quick to shove aside.

Diamond Tiara was having a good morning. Then her mother dropped dead. Then things got weird.

A collaboration with SockPuppet. Inspiration in the author's note at the end.
Story notes

Tax season is almost over, and Pinkie hasn't paid hers yet.

Thanks to 6-D Pegasus for proofreading.

Entry into A Thousand Words Contest II.

Translated into Chinese by keezwus, available here.

Now with two readings, one done by StraightToThePointStudio, and one done by Pony&Wolf Productions.

An art critic reviews the art of Canterlot Castle.

He has... opinions. One of them is more concerning to Princess Celestia than the others.

Written for the A Thousand Words Contest II, where it took an Honorable Mention in the Comedy category!

Featured 6/15/2023 - 6/19/2023!

Appearing on Equestria Daily on 6/18/2023, as well as in their 25 of the Best Fanfics for Celestia Day on 6/20/2023!

Reviewed by Loganberry in the blog Louder Yay!, earning a three out of five stars rating!

Reviewed by PresentPerfect to earn a rating of Highly Recommended!

Now with an audio reading by StraightToThePointStudio!

And another one by Pony & Wolf Productions!