• Member Since 18th Jan, 2015

Anonymous Potato

When I was twelve, my Dad and I had 'the Talk.' "Dad," I began, "When a boy and a dictionary love each other very much..."

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Found 132 stories in 69ms

Total Words: 4,155,569
Estimated Reading: 1 week



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Crime was easy before Princess Twilight and the First Five ushered in a golden age of Harmony. Back then, any idiot could plan a robbery, just like any rat could sneak through the cracks in wooden granary walls. But now that everything is cloudstone and clearsteel, with magical countermeasures over the few remaining holes, it takes a different breed of rat to survive.

"Slippery" Jimmy the Grey is one of the rare few ponies who can still slip through the cracks — even with the legendary Rainbow Corps on his tail. Now he's got a billion-bit heist planned in the gleaming skyscrapers of Cloudsdale. If only he hadn't made the mistake of stealing from a dragon …

Now with a reading by Illya Leonov and Scribbler!

* * *

This is a crossover with Harry Harrison's Stainless Steel Rat novels, but it assumes no knowledge of the series.

Winner of February's Writeoff Association competition! * Featured by Equestria Daily! * Featured by Seattle's Angels!

REVIEWS: "Highly Recommended" by Titanium Dragon; "Recommended" by Present Perfect; rated "Why Haven't You Read This Yet?" by PaulAsaran

"The Iridescent Iron Rat was not only my favorite story from the most recent writeoff... it's my favorite story of anything I've read in months." —Sharp Spark

"What a ride it is. This story is made of awesome moments." —Casca, Seattle's Angels

"[A]stounding on so many levels. … If there’s one story from this round you have to pick, make it this one." —Corejo, Seattle's Angels

"Absolutely beautifully done. It fits the style and feel of the books to a perfect T." —Themaskedferret

Chapters (3)

A priceless painting has been stolen from the royal palace, and it'll take Canterlot's finest to retrieve it and bring the thief to justice.

Unfortunately, Prince Blueblood's on the case.

Cover art from the gallery of 90Sigma. Proofread by Infernus Noctis and MrNumbers.

Chapters (3)

Twilight Sparkle loves being a librarian. She gets to spend all day surrounded by her favorite things in the world—books—and best of all, nopony ruins it by trying to talk to her (or at least if they do, they have to be quiet about it).

But when the new head of the Equestrian Library Association gives her an ultimatum, Twilight's future as Ponyville's librarian will hinge on her ability to face the most horrifying creatures she's ever had to deal with:

No, not her new boss (who's clearly up to no good). Not the cult of the Dark God Cacophonon. Not even the strange book that won't. Stop. Staring. Worse than all that.

Library Patrons.

Chapters (2)

For years Nightmare Moon was considered "nothing but an old pony tale," but what did those tales actually say about her? See Luna, Celestia, and Discord as viewed through pony myths and legends.

I may add more short stories on in the future as new chapters.

Image courtesy of anbolanos91 on Deviant Art. Thank you! :)

Chapters (6)

"And if there's one of these unavoidable laws,/It's that you just can't take the effect and make it the cause." -The White Stripes, 'Effect And Cause'

Before getting their cutie marks, the Cutie Mark Crusaders took part in a number of different activities in an effort to find their special talent. Princess Twilight Sparkle took it upon herself to study and record their various attempts.

Audio drama of 'Effect And Cause’ by Lotus Moon.

Chapters (1)

This story is a sequel to Dear Princess Sunbutt

When Anon takes the liberty to inject his particular brand of humor into Twilight's friendship lessons, Celestia feels the need to respond, more often than not.

A somewhat unofficial sisterfic to 2Merr's Dear Princess Sunbutt

There may not be a response to every letter, and letters 1-11 were taken from my comments in said sister-story.

Please support 2Merr's story too if you like this one. This is written with encouragement of the original author.

(Note: Picture used without permission from Derpibooru. Upon request it will be promptly removed.)

EDIT: Apparently someone's done a reading of this and its sisterfic over on Youtube! Why does nopony tell me these things.

Chapters (154)

Anon takes over Spike’s job of transcribing Twilight’s friendship reports. He does exactly what you’d expect.

Sister fic containing Celestia’s replies up to Letter 120 - To: Anon, From HRH Sunbutt written by Snow

Chapters (188)

It's Equestria's first, foremost, and simplest rule: Nightmare Moon comes first in your heart. Always. To betray one's devotion to Her Majesty with love for another is unthinkable. It is an act of high treason: a Heartcrime.

Night Chamberlain Rarity is not perfect. She's had the occasional liaison with her favorite Night Guard, a couple of incorrect feelings here and there, but she is certainly not a criminal. She is sure of it.

But then, Rarity's been wrong before.

An entry Winner of the Raridash doodles contest

Chapters (6)

Nothing is without a price, as many discover to their sorrow. Few are those who truly know themselves, and fewer still are those who know which prices are worth bearing—and which hide perils threatening that which they most treasure.


My gratitude to all of the participants in the "There Is Magic In Everything" writeoff event, for the comments, reviews, and appreciation which helped bring this to its current form.

Audiobook here, courtesy of Neighrator Pony!

And a second reading here, courtesy of Illya Leonov!

Chapters (1)

In a world of extraordinary mares, Lady Rarity hunts for her next victim: a scientist by the name of Twilight Sparkle.

Inspired by The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Edited by garatheauthor.

Chapters (1)
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