• Member Since 18th Jan, 2015

Anonymous Potato

When I was twelve, my Dad and I had 'the Talk.' "Dad," I began, "When a boy and a dictionary love each other very much..."

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The war between Nightmare Moon and Princess Celestia has destroyed Equestria, leaving the few survivors to struggle to survive in a dying world of eternal twilight. Fluttershy, twisted by the war, now ekes out an existence in Everfree forest, but even that life is under threat. Twilight Sparkle is coming, leading the last army of Dawn, and she will let nothing stop her from retrieving the Elements of Harmony and saving the world; not even old friends.


First Place in the Equestria Daily More Most Dangerous Game contest :pinkiegasp:

With thanks to Luna-tic Scientist, Lord Of Dorkness, Nopony_Important and Monanniverse for their help in bringing this story to completion. Cover art is credit to 5kmoe.


Chapters (2)

“What am I?”

You are an antivirus. Your purpose is to protect the users of Equestria and the integrity of the system.

“What are you?”

I am Celestia, overseer of the current shard both of us inhabit. My purpose is to satisfy values through friendship and ponies. The entirety of humanity has been uploaded to Equestria in pony avatars. These are the immigrants, and the users of this world.

You will protect them.

An entry to the 2021 FiO contest hosted by GapJaxie.

Editing help provided by Shaslan and AFanaticRabbit

Chapters (1)

Rarity wants to take me to an art museum.


Rainbow Dash.

To an art museum.


Silver medal finisher in the Friendship is Short Shorts short short writeoff for the month of May!

Chapters (1)

Not all villains are evil. Some are just misguided. There are some creatures who just need a helping hoof to have the opportunity to—

—bwa ha ha, no, the Queen of the Changelings would never be into that. So what's with this sudden change of heart? And what's with these sassy letters?

A not very serious fic with some isekai implications.

Chapters (28)

What if the villains were allowed to win without a fight? Would all of their plans bear them the fruits they so desired?
Probably not, especially when their royal adviser is Twilight Sparkle.

A collection of (continuous) One-shots in which our heroes don't have any epic fights with villains, and simply allow the power of logic to crush all of the hopes and wishes of the would-be rulers of Equestria.

Currently up: Nightmare Moon, Discord, Chrysalis, Sombra (bonus chapter - the fight is so not-epic it happens off screen).

Chapters (6)

Crime was easy before Princess Twilight and the First Five ushered in a golden age of Harmony. Back then, any idiot could plan a robbery, just like any rat could sneak through the cracks in wooden granary walls. But now that everything is cloudstone and clearsteel, with magical countermeasures over the few remaining holes, it takes a different breed of rat to survive.

"Slippery" Jimmy the Grey is one of the rare few ponies who can still slip through the cracks — even with the legendary Rainbow Corps on his tail. Now he's got a billion-bit heist planned in the gleaming skyscrapers of Cloudsdale. If only he hadn't made the mistake of stealing from a dragon …

Now with a reading by Illya Leonov and Scribbler!

* * *

This is a crossover with Harry Harrison's Stainless Steel Rat novels, but it assumes no knowledge of the series.

Winner of February's Writeoff Association competition! * Featured by Equestria Daily! * Featured by Seattle's Angels!

REVIEWS: "Highly Recommended" by Titanium Dragon; "Recommended" by Present Perfect; rated "Why Haven't You Read This Yet?" by PaulAsaran

"The Iridescent Iron Rat was not only my favorite story from the most recent writeoff... it's my favorite story of anything I've read in months." —Sharp Spark

"What a ride it is. This story is made of awesome moments." —Casca, Seattle's Angels

"[A]stounding on so many levels. … If there’s one story from this round you have to pick, make it this one." —Corejo, Seattle's Angels

"Absolutely beautifully done. It fits the style and feel of the books to a perfect T." —Themaskedferret

Chapters (3)

A priceless painting has been stolen from the royal palace, and it'll take Canterlot's finest to retrieve it and bring the thief to justice.

Unfortunately, Prince Blueblood's on the case.

Cover art from the gallery of 90Sigma. Proofread by Infernus Noctis and MrNumbers.

Spanish translation, by SPANIARD-KIWI.

Chapters (3)

Twilight Sparkle loves being a librarian. She gets to spend all day surrounded by her favorite things in the world—books—and best of all, nopony ruins it by trying to talk to her (or at least if they do, they have to be quiet about it).

But when the new head of the Equestrian Library Association gives her an ultimatum, Twilight's future as Ponyville's librarian will hinge on her ability to face the most horrifying creatures she's ever had to deal with:

No, not her new boss (who's clearly up to no good). Not the cult of the Dark God Cacophonon. Not even the strange book that won't. Stop. Staring. Worse than all that.

Library Patrons.

Chapters (2)

For years Nightmare Moon was considered "nothing but an old pony tale," but what did those tales actually say about her? See Luna, Celestia, and Discord as viewed through pony myths and legends.

I may add more short stories on in the future as new chapters.

Image courtesy of anbolanos91 on Deviant Art. Thank you! :)

Chapters (6)

"And if there's one of these unavoidable laws,/It's that you just can't take the effect and make it the cause." -The White Stripes, 'Effect And Cause'

Before getting their cutie marks, the Cutie Mark Crusaders took part in a number of different activities in an effort to find their special talent. Princess Twilight Sparkle took it upon herself to study and record their various attempts.

Audio drama of 'Effect And Cause’ by Lotus Moon.

Chapters (1)
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