And now it was three weeks later.
The damaged wall and door had been repaired, and the furniture had been replaced. The order for the latter had not included, much to Chrysalis' disappointment, a giant magic-dampening throne, the inclusion of which Mandible would have considered something of a 'tell'. But she had repurposed the ruined furniture by dragging the pieces into a spare room and fashioning a makeshift nest, despite Spinnerette's offers to buy her an actual bed. She seemed satisfied with it, at least, and slept soundly among the stuffing and shattered wood, apart from occasionally waking up in the middle of the night to shriek in rage about Starlight Glimmer.
She had also been reacquainted with the concept of personal hygiene, though it had taken both of her children twenty minutes to force a kicking and screaming Chrysalis into the bathtub.
Nevertheless, regular meals and social contact had blunted much of Chrysalis' feral edge, though this mostly meant she was able to return to older, practiced ways of spikiness. Her presence in Spinnerette's apartment (Mandible having his own in the same building under a different identity, to reduce the potential for scandalous rumor) became the new normal. Whenever Spinnerette returned after a performance, Chrysalis would immediately demand her share of the love her daughter had harvested before returning to her room where, judging from a careful ear to the door, she would spend most of her time muttering to herself, though she would occasionally slink into Spinnerette's room while her daughter was asleep and help herself to a midnight snack. At about the two week mark, Chrysalis began to hide in the apartment and ambush her daughter, violently tackling her before feeding. She insisted this was to prevent Spinnerette from becoming too complacent, which might lead her to consider the 'withdrawals' as sharing, but her daughter suspected she was just indulging in some kind of hunting instinct. Even queens needed some enrichment in their environment.
It was during one such feeding that Mandible paid a visit to the apartment. "Who wants cabbage rolls?" he called as he entered.
"Ooo! Mine!" Spinnerette's field took hold of the takeout container and swept it away to hover in front of her, plucking out one vegetable filled, cheese covered leaf and moving it to her mouth. The sounds she made while chewing almost rivalled her mother's. "Mmmm, so good."
Chrysalis broke off her feeding, looking slightly nauseous. "Why are you doing that?"
"Because it tastes good. Obviously."
"You don't need to eat, though. Love is the only nourishment a true changeling requires."
"Maybe so," Spinnerette admitted, "but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy other things." She raised a second one and waved it under her mother's nose. "Go ahead, try one. They're delicious."
The elder queen made a face. "Congratulations," she said. "You've done something I didn't think possible."
"Hmm?"
"You've made me lose my appetite." With that, Chrysalis vacated the new couch and slunk back into her room.
"More for me, then." Spinnerette popped the roll in her mouth and devoured it as Mandible sat down across from her. "So, what did you want, Dib?"
"Me? What do you mean?"
"You only bring me cabbage rolls when you want to get me in a good mood. Well, objective achieved. What's the occasion?" She took another bite.
"Okay, okay. I wanted to talk to you again about going on tour."
She stopped mid-chew, swallowed. "Oh."
"Your album's done well enough across Equestria that there are ponies all over desperate to hear a live performance. And fresh audiences mean a fresh supply of love, am I right?"
"I know, but... Manehattan's my town. It's kind of like my hive. I've watched it grow up around me. It's home."
He moved to sit next to her and took her hooves in his. "Spin, you were locked in this town for seventy years because of Mom's stupid territory agreement, but now she's in no condition to enforce it. This is your chance to get out and see the world a little." He smiled at her gently. "And Manehattan will still be here when you get back, I promise."
"I know, I know." She closed her eyes for a moment, then sighed. "Okay. I'll... think about it."
"Fair enough."
Then Spinnerette glanced down the hallway to her mother's room. "But there's another issue. I can't exactly leave her here on her own. Who knows what she might get up to?"
He shrugged. "Well, we could always turn her in."
"Dib!"
"What? It's what she would do."
A bellow came from down the hall. "I HEARD THAT!"
"Do you deny it?" Mandible called back. There was no response.
"We are not turning in our mother, and that's final," Spinnerette told him. "You and the other drones already took everything from her. I know you had reason to do it," she said as he started to protest, "and she brought it on herself. Even so, to lose her entire hive in one day... you don't know how awful that would be for a queen."
He leaned back and looked at her. "You're not trying to make me feel guilty, are you?"
"No, of course not. But... you guys have everything you want now and can live your lives as you please, and she's got nothing. You won. Don't you think she's suffered enough?"
"She's still dangerous, Spin."
"Is she really, though? Like this?"
"What happened to 'two days maximum'?"
Spinnerette looked down at her hooves. "I know, but... she's still family, Dib. I can't just abandon her."
"That's what-"
"-she did to me, I know, I know. That's different. That's just how queens work."
He shook his head. "She's still going to have to feed on her own sooner or later. And until we find out what she's been planning all this time-"
"Oh," Chrysalis said, popping up from behind the couch. "You want to know about my plan?"
The two siblings started, then turned to look at the elder queen. "...yes," Mandible said finally. "By all means. Please tell us about this amazing plan."
She chuckled. "I thought you'd never ask. It's still in its early stages, but... I suppose I can give you the broad outline. Just one moment, and I'll get ready." She trotted back to her room; the next few minutes were full of rummaging and under-the-breath commentary.
Her children looked at each other. "I've got a bad feeling about this," Mandible said.
"C'mon, Dib, be more supportive."
"Given that 'being supportive' in this case probably means approving of a plan to take over Equestria... no, I'm not going to do that."
"...maybe she's learned her lesson?"
"Really? Have you ever met our mother?"
The presentation took half an hour. There were props. There was a diorama and figurines cobbled together from miscellaneous trash and, Mandible suspected, small items pilfered from the other apartments. And all the way through it, Chrysalis maintained a detailed and thorough explanation of each stage of her plan. None of it made any coherent sense, but it was well explained. Because when it came to expositing every detail of their plan to an audience, no creature in Equestria was as experienced at the 100-Yard Monologue than Queen Chrysalis.
"...and then," she said at last, "at the exact moment the meteor falls on Canterlot Castle, my army of trained and loyal battle elephants will uproot the Tree of Harmony and Starlight Glimmer will be forced to apologize for everything she's done to me and admit that I am superior to her in every way! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Her final laugh tested the integrity of the apartment's soundproofing to the breaking point. "Well? What do you think?"
Mandible was sitting there slackjawed. Spinnerette was covering her face with both forehooves, and had been like that for ten minutes. "...okay," Mandible managed, "two questions. First, how are you going to make a meteor fall specifically on Canterlot Castle at a certain time?"
"It will fall because it's in the plan!" she told him. "Obviously!"
"...obviously. Second, where are you going to get the elephants?"
"Oh, where does anycreature get elephants?" Chrysalis asked dismissively. "I'm not concerned with such petty details."
"I see." He turned to look at Spinnerette, who still hadn't moved. "Well, I guess you win. I don't think she's dangerous anymore."
"Oh, Grogar," she groaned. "She's never going to leave, is she?"
"Or if she does, she'll just get herself captured. We could just turn her in and save time?"
"No!" She raised her head, taking a deep breath. "That's it, mother. You need something else to do with your time. Tomorrow we are finding you a job."
Chrysalis recoiled with a hiss. "But... my plan!"
"Your plan sucks, mother," Spinnerette said as kindly as she could, which was not, at this point, very much. "It's going to get you caught. And maybe me, too, if they start looking into where you've been hiding."
"Nonsense! It just needs more fine tuning."
She looked at Mandible, who shrugged helplessly. They both knew their mother would never admit to anything less than perfection. Spinnerette thought for a moment. "All right. Let's try it this way. If you want this plan to work, you're going to need resources. You don't have a hive full of drones to take care of everything for you anymore. You're going to need money."
"Money..." The elder queen frowned thoughtfully. "I remember hearing that word before."
"And the thing about having a job," he daughter continued, "is that it gets you money. Which you're going to have to have if you really need a..." She paused, looked at the diorama, then lifted a used, slightly oily takeout container with her field. "...gold-plated trebuchet."
"I do."
"And if we can find you the right job, you can feed and finance your world domination scheme at the same time. Win-win."
To her children's surprise, this logic seemed to be working its way past Chrysalis' stubbornness. Spinnerette supposed that not even the legendary narcissism of the Queen of the Changelings could find a way to spin a lack of funds into somecreature else's fault. Or at least, it could, but not in a way that would solve the problem.
"A queen shouldn't have to work," she tried, having decided to go down swinging.
"This queen has busted her flank to get where she is," Spinnerette countered. "If I can do it, you can do it."
"Ah, that's right. You have money, don't you? You could-"
"I'm just a pop star, mother. I'm good at it, but I don't have that big of an audience."
"Yet," Mandible added.
"And besides, you wouldn't want to taint your victory by using another queen's bits, would you?" she continued, a critical strike to the ego.
"...no, I suppose not." Crysalis lifted her head and assumed a pose of utmost pride, as if the idea had been hers all along. "Very well! Then for my first 'job' I will take the place of the ruler of this city and receive both their money and the love of its citizens!" she said. Just because that plan had failed so completely the last time she'd tried it didn't mean it was a bad plan.
Before Spinnerette could protest, Mandible shook his head. "Nah, most ponies really don't like the mayor all that much."
Chrysalis' brow furrowed. "I was under the impression that she was chosen by election."
"She was. The citizens just liked the other pony a lot less. You're not going to get Princess-level devotion by impersonating a city administrator."
"Oh. Well, there must be something worthy of my efforts."
Both siblings knew 'I can't think of anything but I'm not going to admit it' when they heard it. "Well," Mandible said, slightly reluctantly, "can you sing? I got Spin up and trotting, I should be able to do the same for you."
"Of course I can sing!"
"All right, show me."
Five minutes later, Spinnerette's downstairs neighbor finally stopped pounding on the floorboards, and the glasses in the cupboard ceased vibrating. The soundproofing that had withstood a monster-to-monster combat had finally met its match. Chrysalis just looked at Mandible proudly, expecting nothing but the highest praise.
"That... might... not... be your forte," he said once he regained his hearing. Spinnerette had retreated to a ceiling corner, wrapped around herself so that only her eyes were visible and her ears very definitely were not.
Chrysalis snorted. "You just can't appreciate singing of my caliber."
"Yes, that's probably it."
"Do you have any other suggestions, then?"
"...not off the top of my head," he admitted. "I've mainly been focused on the music industry, and unless you can play an instrument..."
"I could play anything! And win!"
"...there probably won't be a lot of openings I'm aware of. We could use someone with a more general scope of knowledge..." He frowned in thought for a time, then suddenly brightened. "Oh! Spin! I just remembered: your favorite consultant is back in town."
She blinked in surprise, then dropped from the ceiling, hovering briefly before landing hooves down. "Really? That's great! I've been meaning to talk to her again."
"Didn't you say she keeps up with all of the entertainment and celebrity news?"
"Oh, sure. You kind of have to in her line of work, she says, for the inspiration." Her eyes widened. "Oh, I see what you're getting at! Yeah, that's got to be worth a try."
Chrysalis watched them suspiciously. "Who are you two talking about?"
"But are you sure it's a good idea?" Spinnerette continued, glancing at her mother without acknowledging that she'd spoken. "I was going to bring her with me."
"Oh. Right. Yeah, probably should leave her behind."
"Leave who behind? Me?"
"Besides," he added, "I'm not sure she's ready to go out in public."
"Good point. Could you-?"
"ENOUGH!" Chrysalis stomped her hoof hard enough to splinter the hardwood floor. "I will not be treated like a grub! Whatever you two are planning, I will be accompanying Spinnerette tomorrow."
The siblings flinched. "That's... really not a good idea, mother..." Spinnerette began.
Mandible cut in. "Just let us take care of-"
"That was not a request, children." Chrysalis announced. "That was a decision!"
They looked at each other helplessly for a moment, then Spinnerette sighed. "Okay, but just remember: this was your call."
"And it was the correct one! Now. Tell me about this 'consultant'."
Another pause, more shared glances. "Well," her daughter said carefully, "she's only sort of a consultant, to be honest. It's just that I've done plenty of business with her and she's given me a lot of tips and advice to help out my performances in return."
Chrysalis frowned, trying to spot the problem Spinnerette was trying to avoid mentioning. "What kind of advice?"
"Um... fashion advice."
The elder queen thought about this for a while, then her eyes went wide. "Oh, no...!"
"Harmony, darling! It's so good to see you again!" The two unicorns - or, rather, one unicorn and one unicorn-shaped changeling queen - exchanged fake cheek kisses before stepping apart. "I heard you're getting the Before the Horse cover story! Very impressive, and of course entirely deserved!"
"Oh, thank you, Rares," the singer gushed, using the aural cotton candy that was the voice of Harmony Delight. "That means just so much coming from you! But I can't take all the credit. Blitz is the one that arranged it all."
"Oh, pish tosh! He may be an excellent manager, but you are an astounding singer!" Then Rarity leaned slightly to the right, peering around Harmony. "And... this is...?"
The blue unicorn with a cream-white mane quickly straightened up from where she was having a glaring contest with the boutique's resident raccoons. "This is Divine Star," Harmony offered. "my mo-"
"Sister," the taller unicorn added swiftly. "I'm just in from Fillydelphia to see how my famous little sister is doing. Oh, it's such a pleasure to finally meet you. Harmony's told me so much about you!"
"...yeeesss..." Rarity seemed to be staring at Divine Star, puzzled eyes tracing her features. "...um... I apologize if this seems rude, but have we... met?"
Divine laughed this off. "I hardly think so! I would have remembered meeting you before!"
"...of course. Of course." The unicorn seemed to shake herself. "Well, any relative of Harmony is a welcome guest here. Mi boutique es su boutique, as they say! Now. What can I do for the two of you?"
"Well, first," Harmony began, "I wanted you to have a look at this." She produced a collection of mangled cloth that was still bleeding sequins. "I'm so sorry, Rares."
Rarity gasped and grasped the pile in her hooves as one might hold a wounded pet. "Oh my goodness! Harmony, what happened?!"
"Oh, Rares, it was simply awful! This vicious, brutish, stupid creature just attacked me out of nowhere after my concert!" For some reason, Rarity noticed, Divine was giving her sister something of a side-eye glower. "Do you think you can save it?"
The unicorn held up the damaged garment. One sleeve made a final bid for freedom and dropped to the floor. "Only as dishrags, I'm afraid."
"Awww." Harmony was genuinely disappointed. "I really liked that one."
"But not to worry! From loss comes opportunity. I've been brainstorming a bit on what look would most suit you for the cover shoot. I've got some sketches in the back. Won't be a moment!"
"Take your time!" Divine Star called, then as soon as Rarity had left the room Chyrsalis grabbed her daughter's ear with a green glow. "I still can't believe you do business with one of my archnemeses!" she growled quietly.
"Ow!" Spinnerette pulled away. "She's not my archnemesis! And she does good work! Now behave! Or do you want her to realize who you really are?"
They glared at each other until they heard the first hooffall of Rarity's return, then it was nothing but pure, genuine smiles on display. "Here you are, darling," she said, light blue hornlight gripping a small carrying case. "Look those over with Blitz and let me know what you think!"
"Thank you." Harmony tucked the case into a saddlebag. "The other thing I wanted to ask you about concerns dear Divine here. She just left something of a bad situation in Fillydelphia and is looking to get her hooves under her. Do you know of any positions that have opened recently, especially in the entertainment field?"
Rarity gave her an odd look. "That's unusually vague and open-ended, darling." Her gaze moved to Divine Star, or more specifically her flank. "That mark is for...?"
Divine glanced back at a star containing a star surrounded by stars within a circle of stars. "General superiority in all fields," she said confidently.
"Except singing. Or anything musical," Harmony quickly added.
Rarity's expression was now one of deep skepticism. "...I see. Does that 'superiority' extend to acting?"
"You have no idea," responded Divine, and laughed a strangely sinister laugh until Harmony lashed out with a hind leg and kicked her in the shin.
"Well, it just so happens you're in luck. A local theater has been consulting me on one of their new scripts." A pen and pad of paper floated up, and she scribbled some details before sending a page over to Harmony. Very pointedly Harmony and not Divine. "I believe they'll be starting auditions in the next day or two. Let them know you're friends of mine, and they should be quite happy to give her a shot."
The singer stowed the paper away. "You're designing their costumes as well?"
"Partly, but it's a bit more than that. Oh, but I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise; go and see for yourself. I'm sure she'll be able to land a part, especially with..." She looked at Divine Star again, a bit longer than was comfortable. "...'general superiority in all fields.'"
Divine Star walked to the center of the theater stage. The house lights were dimmed and the seats were empty except for a scant few ponies clustered in the center rows, barely visible in the groom. "Read the first numbered section," one told her. "Start whenever you're ready." She placed the page she had been given to study on the lectern provided for non-unicorns and took a breath.
This opening had been an astounding stroke of luck, she had to admit, though any gratitude she felt toward Rarity was immediately banished by the undeniable truth that she would have found this part without the white one's interference. And how could she not? There was no question that it was perfect for her; it could only be her destiny to start an acting career with this role. After all, it had her name written all over it.
She glanced down at the title on the page one more time, and couldn't help but smile.
CHRYSALIS
Apparently it was supposed to be not only a retelling of her many deeds and victories, but also a look into the mind of the changeling queen herself. She'd only been given a sample of the script, but she was sure the writers would be happy to let her correct the places they inevitably went wrong.
The waiting room had been filled with poor, foolish mares who were also lined up to audition. A few had taken extra steps to either get into the right frame of mind or make themselves more memorable to the casting director: fur dyed black, false horn and/or wings pasted on, and so forth. One particularly unimaginative pony just had a sign around her neck reading 'CHANGELING IN DISGUISE'. It was just so unfortunate that they'd all wasted their time.
She began.
"Foolish ponies! How dare you challenge Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings! Long have I prepared for this day-"
It was, she had to admit, a very good speech, and took a few mental notes of the more promising lines for future use. She could just visualize her enemies standing before her as she explained just how useless and pitiful they were, and it felt so good just imagining it. She got so into it, in fact, that it took a solid minute before she realized that the ponies in the darkness were talking to her. "What is it?" she snapped, then remembered she was in disguise. "I mean... what is it?" she asked sweetly.
"Uh, yes, thank you. That's enough. We'll be in touch."
"But... I haven't given you my contact information." She realized belatedly that she had no idea what Spinnerette's address was.
"Yes. We know."
She was not always the fastest on the uptake, but this time she connected the dots rather quickly. "You're rejecting me?!"
"Just return the way you came please."
A nondescript stagehoof crept out of the wings and headed toward her, but at the moment a herd of yaks couldn't have removed her from the stage. "I demand that you explain why!"
The pony started to respond, but another held up a hoof to stall him. "I apologize, Miss Star. I can tell you have a lot of passion for this part. A little too much passion."
"What do you mean?"
"It's just that your reading of that speech was pretty... over the top."
She frowned, confused. That speech had been perfect. She'd declaimed it exactly how she would have in a real situation. "I don't understand."
"To be frank, it was kind of ridiculous."
"...what?"
"There's no way anypony would believe that Queen Chrysalis would talk like that."
"WHAT?!"
"Yeah, and you didn't stick to the script," the first pony added. "You kept talking about meteors and elephants and squirrels. I mean, if we were going for a comedy, you'd be our top pick so far! But unfortunately we've got more of a sober, thoughtful look at Chrysalis in mind, and I don't think that works with your own imagining of her."
"So, I'm sorry that it didn't work out with us," the second pony said, unaware of the aura of seething fury developing on the stage, "but best of luck to-"
"YOU WORTHLESS VERMIN! I'll make you rue the day you dared insult the queen of the changelings this way! I'll-" At this point, the stagehoof (who none of the other staff members could ever rememer seeing before) and the actress with the sign around her neck rushed over to Divine Star and hustled her out of the building, never to be seen again.
The two ponies looked at each other. "Method actors," the first one said, as if that explained everything. "Go figure, right?"
Spinnerette tossed the sign into a trashcan and sighed. "Well, that was a bust."
The moment they'd returned home, Chrysalis had stolen all of the blankets from her daughter's bed, reinforced her nest with them, and was now engaged in a Class III Maximum Sulk. "You two were spying on me," she said flatly.
"I wouldn't say 'spying'," Mandible said. "We just... wanted to make sure it went well."
"Well, it didn't! I was humiliated! I, the Changeling Queen, cannot even portray myself!"
The siblings looked at each other. It said a lot, they realized, that their mother's ego was so wounded that her normal reality-defying overconfidence was reduced to this. "Don't be like that, mother," Spinnerette tried. Chrysalis huffed and dug herself deeper into the blankets. "If it helps, I personally liked that speech."
"...just saying that."
"No, honestly. It really spoke to me, as a queen." She gave Mandible an insistent look, and he capitulated.
"She's right, Mom. That was one of the best speeches I've ever heard you give, and I've heard a lot of them."
Chrysalis uncurled slightly, the sulk downgrading to a Class II. "...really?"
"Really. They just weren't able to appreciate the full Chrysalis experience, that's all."
"Mmf. You didn't need to drag me out like that, though."
"You were going to destroy them, mother," Spinnerette said gently. "Rarity might have gotten a little suspicious if the theater she sent you to ended up as a crater."
"...I suppose."
"So what do you say?" Mandible asked. "Do you want to try again? There's bound to be other acting jobs out there."
"No." She curled up tighter again. "If the acting world doesn't want me as me, they don't deserve to have me as any lesser role."
Another glance was exhanged. "...okay," Spinnerette said. "That's okay. We'll find something else."
"I did find another possibility while you were at Rarity For You," Mandible said, sliding a piece of paper toward the bundle of blankets. "Just in case things didn't pan out."
A green glow seized the paper and lifted it up for examination. "...what is 'buckball?'"
"It's a sport. Three ponies on either side trying to get a ball into their bucket on the other side of the field. It's really popular, but still pretty new around here, so they're always on the lookout for fresh talent. It brings in huge audiences who love seeing their favorite athletes compete against each other."
She perked up slighly. "And beat the daylights out of each other?" she asked hopefully.
"Uh, no. It's a zero-contact sport."
"Hmph." She dropped a blanket over her head. "Sounds dreadful."
"It'll let you prove your superiority over mere ponies," he said, in his 'who wants cabbage rolls?' voice.
The blanket lifted slightly.
One of the (many) perks of being a changeling queen was enhanced control over one's transformations. Any drone could look like a pegasus or an earth pony, but a queen could fine-tune her new form to make it stronger, faster, and more durable than almost any natural-born pony. She would be less physically adept than her actual queen form, of course, but could maintain her disguise in perfect condition by drawing on her reserves of love. When put up against all but the best natural pony, she would always be the victor.
This, of course, was just a random factoid and had nothing to do with Swiftfeather, an up-and-coming young pegasus mare from the mean streets of the Pronx. She defended the airspace on her side of the buckball court with an iron hoof, deflecting every single ball that dared invade her territory. Nopony could oppose her, and she would clearly be the MVP of any team that hired her.
It could be said, later, that she'd tried her best. And she really had. There were just... extenuating circumstances.
"I dunno what happened," said Fullcourt Press, coach for the Manehattan Miracles. It was the next day, and he was speaking to the stadium's insurance representative, Pencil Pusher. "She just went crazy all of a sudden."
"Why don't you start from the beginning and tell me about it?"
"Okay, well, at first everything was goin' great, y'know? We were runnin' one of our public tryout sessions, just to see if we could find some rough diamonds out there. And oh boy, did we! When that Swiftfeather mare showed up and took a defense spot?" He lifted a hoof to his lips and made a 'mwah!' sound. "Poetry. She had moves that'd put a Wonderbolt to shame!" He leered at the unicorn stallion. "Made me 'wonder' what other kinda moves she knew, yaknowhutI'msayin'? Heh heh heh...! Ow." He rubbed at the skin around the neck brace he wore.
"I see."
"Real easy on the eyes, too. Had fetlocks for days. A real set of fetlongahoogalas. A gorgeous quartet of anklagongamalongas. Four-"
"Could you just move on, please?" Pencil asked coldly.
"...right. Well, it didn't lake long before I could see she was startin' to lose her patience. See, the unicorn and earth pony she was matched with? Oh, they were garbage. I'm surprised they even made it to the stadium without walkin' into traffic. Swiftfeather was blockin' every kick, but when she sent the ball down to the earth pony, he was lettin' it roll out of bounds two times out of three. And on the third, he'd kick it straight to the other team's earth pony, who sent it right back up to Swiftfeather. The one time he managed to get it above the earth pony and past their pegasus, I swear his team's unicorn moved the bucket away from the ball. I couldn't blame Swiftfeather for startin' to get mad."
"And that's when she 'went crazy'?"
Fullcourt shook his head, but very gingerly. "Nah, I thought that's where it was goin', but then she starts barkin' orders, tellin' her team where to stand and what to do. She wasn't nice about it, but they immediately started to do better. And I'm thinkin', this is a filly who knows how to lead! That's rare, even moreso than her buckball skills. Havin' them both in one package? I had to take her under my wing! Or maybe she could take me under her wing, yaknowhutI'msayin'? Heh heh heh...! Ow."
"Mmmm." Pencil scribbled some notes regarding sensitivity training. "And then what?"
"Well, the other team started gettin' mad. There was this young mare playin' like she'd been doin' it all her life, puttin' a lot of pros to shame, and we only got so many spots to fill, right? And their unicorn hadn't gotten to do anything all match since Swiftfeather was like a freaking wall, so he wasn't even getting the chance to show off his own skills. That's when he pulled a Ponyville Polka on her."
"A what?"
"It's where you 'accidentally' lose control of your bucket and lob it at another player," Fullcourt explained. "Hit her square in the back of the head. Wasn't hurt, but hoo boy, was she mad."
"Then that's when...?"
"Not yet. I called a time out, sent off the unicorn, and brought her down for a chat. And that's when she lost it."
"...spraining your neck, sending three other ponies to the hospital - including the other team's unicorn who is currently awaiting surgery to remove his head from the bucket - kicking a buckball through the reinforced window of the stadium's VIP booth..."
"Yeah, that was beautiful."
"...and causing extensive generalized damage before a pair of nondescript pegasi hustled her out of the building," Pencil read from his report. "The police are still looking for her." He looked at Fullcourt severely. "You didn't make any inappropriate suggestions during that 'chat', did you?" He was starting to hope Swiftfeather was never found, lest she counterclaim for sexual harassment.
"Hey, now," Fullcourt said, raising a hoof. "I got a strict policy: never make a move on a player before the ink on the contract is dry. Swear to Celestia."
"You're not supposed to...! Never mind. So what did you say to her?"
"I was just givin' her some encouragement. I wanted to tell her she had a lot of potential, so I compared her to the best defensive player I'd ever seen."
"That's it?"
"Yeah! All I said was that if she kept trainin' and workin' hard, she'd be almost as good as Fluttershy!"
"...the TEMERITY of that WORM! Suggesting that I, QUEEN CHRYSALIS, am inferior to that MEWLING, COWARDLY, YELLOW-!"
"You know, maybe we're going about this all wrong," Spinnerette suggested, trying to ignore the slightly muted ranting coming from her mother's room. She was currently in her Harmony disguise, wearing a gown of silver and copper lamé.
"What do you mean?" Mandible asked. He lifted one of Rarity's sketches and showed it to her; one swirl of purple flame later, she was wearing a kind of sheer body suit of medical green and a pair of inscrutable sunglasses. He peered at her a moment, then shook his head and leafed through the sketches again.
"I mean, I'd like to get her on an adulation diet, because it's the safest way, but since it's also relatively weak, she'll need a fairly large audience to draw from, right?"
"You're the expert." As a pre-reformation drone, he had been told to steal only the strongest, purest forms of love: romantic love and familial love. The study of love, or amareology, wasn't his strong point, but according to Spinnerette those two types of love were powerful because they (usually) comprised a two-way bond, each pony's love strengthening and reinforcing that of the other. This made them the most efficient sources of feeding for changelings, but it also made them the most dangerous if the changeling were to be found out, as they inevitably would if they drained a given subject too long or too deeply. This meant that hit-and-run tactics were the rule, leaving a trail of loveless ponies all over Equestria. It was not a time he was proud of. You could technically also drain romantic love from a pony you'd just met, if you played your cards right, but the lack of an established double bond meant you were only tapping into the raw desire for affection, which was barely better than feeding off animals. It was rarely worth the effort.
He had also been aware of a different type of love, which Chrysalis called 'devotion'. It was the love for one's ruler or other authority figure. It was much less intense than romantic or familial love, as it was a one-way bond; a leader could love their subjects in a general, unspecified way, but that couldn't reinforce their subjects' love in the same way. On the bright side, there was no shortage of devoted ponies to take a quick snack from; on the down side, it took a lot of effort (and the replacement of the existing ruler, always a tricky detail) to pull off, and discovery was always a possibility. Chrysalis had made many plans to capitalize on devotion, but none of them had ever panned out, to put it mildly.
Then after the hive fell he'd tracked down Spinnerette, who had discovered adulation, the love generated from the joy of experience, or at least that's how she'd described it. It was weaker yet than devotion, and you had to put in the effort to give ponies what they wanted to see (or hear), but it was safe; you didn't have to impersonate anypony, and you weren't taking anything against their will. Either they liked what you were doing, or they didn't. But as Spinnerette pointed out, you had to draw from a significantly larger group of ponies to get the same effect as a single dose of romantic love. When he'd found her, she was performing a few times a week at clubs and festivals, with audiences around twenty or thirty ponies at most, and had barely avoided going hungry. There were times when she'd had to make up the difference with pigeon love, and that was paltry fare indeed.
"I had to work my way up - with your help, of course - and I've never seen anypony just step straight into the spotlight like she's trying to do," Spinnerette continued. "Maybe she needs to do it like I did."
"Yeah, but she'd never go for that." Another sketch, another outfit, this one he could only describe as an ornamental haystack with tubes. He quickly started looking for another one. "Why settle for some attention when you think you deserve it all?"
The young queen peered into a nearby mirror. "Ew. Not your best work, Rares. Anyway, it doesn't have to be forever. Just until something better comes along. Do you think she'd be willing to try buckball again?"
He paused and listened to the ranting with an ear long practiced in the art of deciphering his mother's anger. "We'll probably need to leave it for a few weeks at least," he decided. Another sketch, and Spinnerette was clad in a light and breezy summer dress, complete with floral hat. "Oh, I like that one."
The mirror was duly inspected. "Hey, yeah. Me, too. I'll let her know."
Mandible sighed. "Can't sing, can't play an instrument, won't act... we're running out of options here. Street performer?"
She shook her head. "I tried busking. You really need to be able to establish some kind of connection with your audience to make it work. On the street... it's too chaotic, too many distractions. I had ponies listening to me and even dropping bits in my hat, but ended up hungrier than I started."
"Ah. Something in a club or as a restaurant show, maybe..." He pondered for a moment. "What about... dancing? Are there clubs that have dancers?"
"Probably not the kind of dancing you're thinking of," she said dryly.
"...oh. Oh!" He blushed. "Yeah, let's just... forget I ever suggested that, please."
"Deal." They fell silent, thinking, then suddenly she giggled.
"I said-"
"Not that." She looked him dead in the eye. "Stand-up comedian."
He watched that scenario play out in his mind, then gave her a pained look. "Why do you hate me so?" She cackled.
They grew quiet again, and remained so for several minutes. Chrysalis continued expressing her displeasure in the background, but both were able to tune it out. Finally Mandible rubbed his chin. "Let's think outside the box a little. Does it have to be an actual performance? Would the buckball idea have even worked, or did we ruin a stadium for no good reason?"
She frowned, considering. "I'm pretty sure it would've worked. There's nothing unique about a performance that wouldn't still work for something else. Like I said earlier, it's about the connection. Love is all about connections."
"That's good for a Hoofmark card, Spin, but-"
"Hush up and I'll explain, drone," she said without malice. "This is queen stuff." She paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts. "Okay. Romantic love, familial love, devotion. At the point a changeling enters the picture, those are long-established connections from one pony to another. Got it?"
"Yes, my queen."
"Hush it. With adulation, there is no connection, at least to start with. When I sing, that connection starts to form with any pony listening." She paused again. "Now, this is all under-the-surface stuff here, okay? The pony isn't even aware this is going on."
"Okay."
"I'm basically putting myself out there in their perception. 'I am here. You are here. We are together. I am singing, and you are hearing my song.' That's all it takes to make a little thread of connection between us. If they don't like my singing, or just don't care, that's it. The connection doesn't get any stronger, and probably snaps the second I stop singing."
Then her eyes gleamed. "But if they like it, if they appreciate it and want to hear more... that's when the magic happens. The connection gets stronger, their enjoyment starts generating love - not necessarily of me, but of the experience, what I'm doing for them - and that love starts flowing to me along the connection. It's still a tenuous link, but sometimes it becomes strong enough to stick around. Those are the dedicated fans."
"So... as long as you're doing something they enjoy, you'll automatically draw love from them?"
"That's basically it. The more they enjoy it, the more I get. New experiences are basically always better, but there's something to be said for a pony with an established connection listening to a favorite song. The love flows more easily along those links."
Mandible nodded. "Okay. So at least that opens options. We need to find a way to have her do something that a lot of ponies will enjoy. The more ponies we can get to witness it, or the more they enjoy it, the better."
"Right."
"...bring destruction down upon every last despicable pony and obliterate this city BRICK. BY. BRICK..."
"...that's still going to be really difficult, isn't it?"
"...yeah."