When Spike returns home early from a gathering he sees something that causes him to go running from their little home...the sight of Twilight and Caramel together.

Once Twilight finds him, shivering and cold, she decides to try to address his fears...by giving him The Talk.

But, to Twilight's surprise, it may not be a talk about basic biology that Spike needs...perhaps something far more important is on his mind.

Twilight and Dash, upon discovering that the long awaited "Daring Doo 4" movie contains, eugh, Humans, decide to rent out A Nightmare Moon on Elm Street.

Of course all their friends are invited. There is absolutely no way any shenanigans could possibly ensue.

None.

With Twilight away in Canterlot, Spike is left to his own devices. But Ponyville isn't the busiest of towns and before long, boredom begins to creep.

So to cheer himself up he decides to go spend time with his friends. Five stalwart companions whom he has known through thick and thin.

But Spike soon begins to realise that really, those are Twilight's friends. Not his.

In fact he starts to wonder whether, since he moved to Ponyville, he's actually made any friends at all...

(*2nd edition. Based on feedback, the final chapter and epilogue have been added-to to better reflect the contributions of the CMC.)

This story is a sequel to A War of Words - The Opening of the Guard

For centuries, the stallions of the Royal Guard have protected Equestria from every danger imaginable.
Now they face a new threat to their position that will not be so easy to defeat.

Mares.

The story of four mares who answer the call to guard Princess Luna, and the troubles they go through to gain acceptance and respect in their new jobs. Or it could be considered to be the story of four interlopers into a traditionally male role and the underhanded tricks used to secure their position despite their obvious unsuitability for the job. Pick one.

Cover photo credit to the fantastic MuffinExplosion at DeviantArt.

Thanks to my editors: Peter, MSPiper, Featherprop, Seether00, GameKnut and Tek

Author's notes on the development of the story and characters may be found here.
This is a sequel to A War of Words - The Opening of the Guard which is featured on Equestria Daily

Fancy Pants and his lovely wife Fleur are quite possibly Canterlot's most heroic duet. Together they conquered countless events, faced hordes of snobbish socialites, and emerged victorious from the most dire of faux pas. May their bravery and finesse be forever remembered on parties to come!

There is a missing element in their perfect life, though: the joy of having a child and becoming a family. When conventional methods fail, will the couple muster enough courage to seek out the alternative, or will they stay a duet forever?

Enter Chestnut—a daring filly from beyond Equestria, out of their social stratum, and definitely exceeding their boldest expectations.

For better or worse.

It is Twilight Sparkle's first night as a princess of Equestria, and she cannot sleep. As the excitement she felt during coronation fades away, it gives way to a deeper anxiety. The young alicorn lies awake, her thoughts dwelling on her new destiny, her responsibilities, her fears, and her own mortality.

Or, as the case may be, her lack of it.

As morning draws nearer, Twilight leaves her bed haunted by a question, and so she decides to seek out the one pony who can answer it.

Now has a dramatic reading on Youtube! Major props to Goombasa.

Scootaloo spends an afternoon out with Applejack and Rainbow Dash.

Cover art generously drawn by Zaponator.

In an effort to keep her mind occupied, Twilight Sparkle decides to delve once again into the grand mysteries of Pinkie Pie. This time, Twilight's focus is on her claims of growing up on a rock farm: like so many things related to Pinkie Pie, the idea that somepony could grow rocks as an agricultural product makes absolutely no sense. However, the investigation eventually leads Twilight to a rather... surprising discovery.

This is the first story in The Petriculture Cycle.

Artwork by Page Turner. Now with a TV Tropes page.

NEW PRINCESS ATTACKS GRIFFONSTAN IMPORTS

The Equestria Daily can exclusively report that newly crowned Princess Twilight Sparkle became embroiled in an argument with the Griffonstani trade minister about the inferior quality of griffon quills, alleging that "they just don't hold ink as well as pegasus quills". Import markets tumbled overnight, threatening the solvency of numerous Equestrian quill merchants. Princess Sparkle could not be reached for comment.

(When you're done, bookplayer has a fun "Let's Read" commentary version!)
(Also, GhostOfHeraclitus wrote a prequel from the perspective of Dr. Spinning Top!)
(Also also, now available in Spanish thanks to Spaniard-Kiwi!)

After a long day of flight practice with Scootaloo, Rainbow Dash discovers the filly knows next to nothing about preening and takes it upon herself to teach her.

Warning: May Contain Feels and/or D'aww moments.

Featured on FIMFiction on 7/20/2013. Yay!
Featured on EQDaily on 09/12/2013 Double Yay!
Reading by TheLostNarrator (excellent!): Here
Reading by DRWolf: Here
Reading by Joehighlord: Here
Riffed by Draklox: Here
Korean Translation: Here
Spanish Translation: Here
French Translation: Here
Chinese Translation: Here