The 19th Equestrian Alicorn Council is now in session! The Council is the current ruling body of Equestria, on which sits every alicorn in the country.
There's just one problem. The council is currently comprised of 84% of Equestria's population.
Princess Sugarcoat, the official speaker of the council, investigates just exactly how this state of affairs began.
Turns out, it's all Cadance's fault.
Trigger warnings: Alicorns making fun of Twilight Sparkle and Cadance.
Rated Teen and Sex for a giant pile of sex-related idiocy.
Chapters (1)
Can I sue you for the murder of my sides?
Have a fav and a thumbs up.
What?!
This was... well, this was exactly what I thought it would be, actually. Silly, entertaining, a bit crude. Have a thumbs up.
Well this was seriously random. Hilarious because of the setting of the proceedings.
Princess Batsy FTW!
I, for one, welcome our alicorn overlords...
And for another twist, an uninfected Trixie finally gets to be the most powerful unicorn... in Alicornia.
When I read" princess starlight glimmer" I was like" pull's out a gun and shoot's himself in the face".????
First born alicorn
Hard core, soft porn
It's gotta be a nightmare... Twilight having a nightmare over her guilt for her bisexual attraction... or Cadance having a nightmare after Flurry is born. Either way still funny :P
Good version of AIDS..
It's only to be expected. When your title is Princess of Love, you're able to make all kinds of things reproduce, sometimes without meaning to.
And "genocide" is kind of a strong term. I prefer "incorporation." They all count as unicorns, earth ponies, and pegasi simultaneously. This is the ultimate moment of inclusivity! (Woo! Princess of Spin Doctoring, here I come!)
Also, does this mean that the human world is experiencing regular outbreaks of people growing wings and going mad with power?
That was hilarious. But I do not think the loss of single pony tribes could be called genocide. Alicorns are all three, also no one is being killed.
I motion that Sunset Shimmer gets a high-five!
7039049 DING
Best slogan, 2016.
Ok, having pony Sugarcoat sum up the whole situation just makes this almost perfect. I was expecting crazy and random, but finding out it started with Cadance then spread to Twilight, then Pinkie and everyalicorn else is... this is insanity. On top of all of that, finding out how Sunset and Sci-Twi also got it was possibly the funniest thing in the fic.
Maybe Flurry Heart just ascended in the womb and alicorn parts come fully grown.
Also, wouldn't it get incredibly annoying to have to vote on every little thing? It would go so slowly too! Have you ever played matchmaking in Halo Reach? It can take ten minutes for everyone to freaking vote, and that's only with 16 people!
Uh...
What did I just read?
...
I'm not going to do anything to this story. While it was funny, it was awkward enough for me not to do anything to it.
- Just a random spectator
The moment I saw 'Blame Cadence!' I thought of the PTA meeting from the South Park movie and 'Blame Canada!'
Well, isn't this a nice story. It would be a shame if someone were to, I don't know, criticize it. (Welcome to the rice fields motherfucker.)
"Princess Sugarcoat raised the gavel with her magic, and tapped it lightly on the block in front of her, speaking clearly into the microphone. There was a sudden burst of feedback from the speakers, which made her wince until the sound crew corrected the problem."
Okay, lets start with the condition before a comma, that directs the sentence. It is not needed. Nor is the contrived metaphor at the end clause. You can say the microphone spoke into the microphone, but I find that this adds no emotional context to the story, nor does saying with this bland verb provides anything to the plot. This is an action opening, as so many often do, do throw the audience into the fray of the story: the favorite of many a reader and writer alike, as this usually avoids unwanted prologues and fluff. However, that effect is negated when your first sentence does not focus on a meaningful bit of dialogue, or an act that has ramifications on the story, and also avoids being a cliche.
Now as for the name of the princess, "Sugarcoat". For a pony this is generic. Perhaps it is meaningful to the plot, as I am only criticizing the opening. That said, I find it disappointing that it does not provide some referential or thematic motif to such a powerful figure in the world of MLP: she is a goddess in essence.
As for the next bit where speakers are concerned, and the sudden burst, I will say a few things. Firstly, the use of sudden, or suddenly. This use of adjective, in this case, takes away from the suddenness of the action. If I say a meaningful soliloquy by a character, and provide a short sentence on action, the brevity of the action speaks for itself. Like can you imagine a guy speaking to a murderer about how he must live, and he goes over all his story, and then all you read is, "The gun fired." Suddenly takes away from the act of the suddenness of the verb.
I will also note that the burst of the speakers, and the wince of the character are generic. If you had Sugarcoat "grin a crooked line" or some other such description, that provided character to your character, it would be appreciated. As for, "until...problem" Now, a nitpick of mine. A conference of such importance, held by an Alicorn, having an error this basic also makes me laugh a bit. Also, the tension for this does nothing to add to the story, and the verbs of the crew are bland and provide no atmosphere. It seems like the entire opening is an action scene, and in media res, to focus on an opening that bring nothing to the story, and an awkward quirkiness to relate to the main character.
I am just reviewing the opening itself. However, if the rest of the story reflects such a lack of understanding, I advise you gain a mentor, or read some books on writing. You must have at least read some theory on writing, haven't you?
Man, I could keep quoting amazing lines from this, but then I'd just reproduce the whole story here. This was the best laugh I've had all year so far. Has this been featured yet? It should be.
This one deserved special mention, though.
This was glorious
7039943
Hoo boy, you're right. That first paragraph was awful. Restructured it a little, though I'm keeping the blandness.
No, no I never have. I really should, though.
Just FYI though, Sugarcoat not a generic pony. She's a canon character who has quite a few lines in EQG Friendship Games and her defining characteristic is her brutal honesty, which is why she's the main character.
This site needs a Friendship Games shadowbolts tag.
7039943 Sugarcoat is the name of a character in the EQG films. You can't blame the author for using it.
Shouldn't they be blaming Larson?
Also, high five, Sunset. Good job, girl.
This was awesome, I giggled IRL.
True story.
Funny premise that made me giggle a bit. Most of the dialogue itself sounded pretty good, too. However, the real drawback here is that some the narrative sounded and felt a little awkward. Still, since most of the story is told through dialogue, it isn't a massive issue.
i completely lost my shit at this. hilarious. i'm gonna need to find a princess braeburn picture.
pre12.deviantart.net/d836/th/pre/f/2013/132/5/1/sunset_shimmer_by_karzahnii-d653kxf.png
you are a gawd amongst ponies.
camo.derpicdn.net/bc0dc502d283f4590fec60f032b32f25cb5b4ed8?url=http%3A%2F%2Fimg1.wikia.nocookie.net%2F__cb20140329193534%2Fmlp%2Fimages%2Fthumb%2Fd%2Fd0%2FCMC_gasp_S1E23.png%2F640px-CMC_gasp_S1E23.png
Plot twist: Cadance secretly bought up half of Cloudsdale before deliberately infecting Twilight Sparkle. Once the amount of flight-capable ponies has tripled, she can then sell off her Cloudsdale properties at a vast premium compared to what she bought them for.
We all do...
Nice story!!
Also:
Long live Democracy!
7039012
7038915
It occurs to me that "genocide" has a lot of negative connotations, and not in the way I wanted, either. I found another word that fits better: "extinction", so I changed it. Thanks!
7039834 Just have a 15-30 second timer on the vote, then those that don't vote get smacked by a boot. People will be voting then!
...I don't know what I just read, but I want more of it
Came back here to comment on something in light of a throwaway comment in this chapter about Flurry Heart in light of the Season 6 premier
Flurry Heart really does seem to be the Harbinger of the End. So, congrats of predicting that.
7065828
Well darn! Guess I'm psychic!
I eagerly await the fulfillment of my prediction for a Sunset-Twilight-Twilight threesome!
7066473 You and me both.
You earned yourself a fave and thumbs up
7115381
Clearly Cadance getting her horn from beating Prismia was just what they thought happened. It's not like they were going to tell the whole world how much game Cadance had when she met her princess for the first time.
7038213
I do declare, you're 3 weeks ahead of me.
Spork...
Fuckin' Christ, Sporks. That was... magnificent.
I Blame Cadance's Booty.
this part made my day.
I may not usually support shipping, but when I do, I blame Cadence's Booty.
Ah yes, the booty, the source of all problems. Always blame the booty.
This, eh... Is GLORIOUS, EH!
'til
Definitely the latter.
7039049 [youtube=_OemNp6hgX4]
7066473 [youtube=_OemNp6hgX4]
Pinkie Pie will rape you in your sleep.
This was way too silly. Have an upvote and a place in my "Decent Fics" library shelf.
Sunset should get a medal, or something, to acknowledge this accomplishment.
Maybe something like this is demonstrating why a democracy isn't great when a general feeling at a certain time can strip rights from a minority.
Now I am beginning to wonder just how lonely First Princess Twilight Sparkle's nights are. She clearly got around.
When you say "little freak of nature" you aren't referring to Twilight Sparkle I am assuming. I have barely watched anything past season 3 so far.