Why would you think this is an Adventure Clyde story? That would be silly! This is a Friendship Is Magic fanfic site!

What this IS, is a story about Twilight Sparkle and the young dragon she has an ill-defined pseudomaternal relationship with. He happens to write stories. Some of those stories might happen to be about the Alicorn of Adventure, but be that as it may, this is a character drama in which our protagonist Twilight Sparkle must struggle with Spike's first exposure to the complex legal and ethical minefields of consensuality in adult relationships.

Okay, maybe this is also a literary deconstruction and reconstruction of "Adventure Clyde" (incl. tumblr and associated reviews and written works), reconciling his existence with My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic canon, while staying faithful to the My Little Pony universe and offering subtle and profound observations into the nature of scientific rationality, Freudian psychological analysis, and oranges. But we all like literary deconstruction, right?

Right?

*crickets*

Now with a dramatic reading by Present Perfect and ShadowOfCygnus!

REVIEWERS AND ELLIPSES WARN YOU AWAY:

"This story is egregious serial nonsense. (…) I think I … hated it. (…) It isn’t great literature. (…) Recommended." — Titanium Dragon

"My god (...) No." — Present Perfect (Highly Recommended)

"(...) a terrible mess (...)" — Bad Horse (Recommended)

OTHER ACTUAL WORDS SPOKEN BY PEOPLE WHO HAVE ACTUALLY READ IT:

"Oh man. (...) bad (...)" —Protopony350
"(...) by god (...)" —Skeeter the Lurker
"(...) weeping (...)" —Orbiting Kettle
"I have no idea what the hell (...) I fear for my well-being (...)" —Skywriter

THE PRAISE FOR "THIS IS NOT AN ADVENTURE CLYDE ADVENTURE" WHICH GOT THE STORY REJECTED BY FIMFIC MODERATION UNTIL I CENSORED DUBS:

[6:19:06 PM] horizon: Hey guys! Can I get a blurb for my upcoming story?
[6:20:08 PM] Zaponator: "Literally the best thing I've ever read. A true piece of art that puts to shame any written work before it, and will likely stand as a great unconquered titan for any work after it. 7/10 —IGN.com"
[6:20:41 PM] Dubs_Rewatcher: HOLY S**T
[6:21:03 PM] Haze: and this is how Displaced became canon

Adventure Clyde™ is a registered service mark of Protopony350 Industries, Ltd.

There is an ending to every great story. For Spike, Shining Armor's story will never end. No matter what Twilight, Cadence, or the doctors say.

Spike isn't ready for that story to end. Not yet. There is one more thing he needs to add... if he can find the words to do so.

Commission for Jake The Army Guy

Thanks to Sir Rustbucket, ajvasquezbrony28, Midnight Legend, and Pyrotechnic for editing.

Now Featured on Equestria Daily!

Rated Teen for thematic elements.

Rainbow Dash's life is pretty sweet right now. She's a full-fledged Wonderbolt, she has a hot coltfriend, and all the fame, fortune, and glory that she could dream of. Yes, Dash is living the dream, all thanks to her being the most awesome mare in Equestria.

However, while on a date with said hot coltfriend, Rainbow Dash learns that there are drawbacks to being so awesome.

My part of a shipping trade between myself and The Fantabulous Mr. Lemur. Eternal thanks go to Marshal Twilight, Captain Unstoppable, and Bad_Seed_72, whose help made this possible.

Cover art graciously done by the insanely awesome KarmaDash!

A great evil is being awakened by an old friend.

A mare comes into possession of a box that could save the world.

Two old friends have lost all that they love, and are willing to kill each other to make things right!

The fate of Equestria hangs in the balance!

(My attempt at the worst written fic i could think of)

A Fate/Zero crossover of sorts.

Equestria is dying, and always has been.

The whole world has been this way for a thousand years, ever since Princess Celestia sacrificed herself to bind the fallen Princess Luna. Year by year the soil turns barren, the oceans turn still, the sun glows colder, and civilization slowly crumbles. The pegasi have not controlled the weather for centuries. Soon, the unicorns will lack the strength to raise the sun each morning. The world will be bare of life in less than two centuries. Even the most powerful magical artifacts cannot halt the decline.

Until now.

An old power has resurfaced, and five ponies race to claim it. A young duke, desperate to save his city and reclaim his family honor. A bounty hunter who speaks to the earth. A scion of magical power. A purposeless prodigy. And a college dropout. They will raise powerful servants and fight for the Grail of Magic.

Dark factions plot on the horizons and strange beings peer in from outside places. One master of magic will claim the Grail. They will save the fading world... or rule its ashes.

When Coco Pommel is summoned to Ponyville, she encounters the last thing she thought she'd ever see: a Rarity who has completely lost the passion for her profession.

Moved by Rarity's plight, Coco will do everything she can to bring the sparkle back to her friend. But will she, an almost complete outsider to Rarity's life, be enough?

Editing duties courtesy of nanashi_jones.

Following a Changeling attack that scatters every resident in Ponyville, Applejack holes up in her family home with only Apple Bloom for support. The doors and windows have been boarded shut. A thick fog covers everything in sight. Soon the first visitor comes to her door.

Now the only question is whether they're actually who they say they are.

Edited by spigo.

[Complete! With TVTropes apparently!]
Also, apparently, an animated trailer.

In a world of brass and steam, Twilight Sparkle had thought she had made a life-changing discovery with the invention of the telescope. For better or worse, she was correct.

Now her discovery has not only changed her life, but the lives of those she seeks out in her desperate attempt to contact the only other creature as lonely as Twilight herself.

It all would have been much simpler, but it had to be the one Twilight could only call The Mare on the Moon.

Decidedly not within walking distance, then.

[Featured on EQD before story was meant to be submitted. 4/03/2015]

[Editing team: Southpaw, Wolfvenom, Maskedferret, SwanSong and BluePaladin42, without whom this story would be a fraction of its current state.]
[Special thanks to Novel-Idea for the updated cover]

Side Story to The Demesne of the Reluctant Twilight Sparkle

When Doctor Princess Twilight Sparkle got Ponyville and the surrounding lands as her exclusive demesne, she knew it meant changes and stuff. Glittering opportunities. Dire crises. Friendships gained and imperiled. The dawn of a new age for Ponyville. A renaissance of the arts and sciences. A great test of her abilities as a leader and as a friend.

The brewing civil war took her by surprise, on the other claw.

The Princesses and their allies in Canterlot are working to change the laws, disband the new militias and ensure a lasting peace, but they need time. Soon, this cold war of arms and intimidation will heat up, and all the laws and decrees in the world ain't stopping it.

Doctor Princess Twilight Sparkle will buy them time. She will do what it takes to keep her friends, her family, and yes, her demesne safe.

With the help of a handsome griffon security professional—that's me, by the way—a devious illusionist, a ruthless athlete, a bored noble, and a pair of boater-clad con-ponies, she'll stop the damn war herself if she has to.

Touch wood I'll live to tell about it...

The plan, he thought, was perfect. Instead of returning to the mortal world as a shade of his former self, King Sombra would transmute his soul into the body of his greatest foe, using her influence and power to destroy Equestria from the inside and take vengeance on the Princesses that stole his beloved empire.

There's just one problem: after her fight with Tirek, Twilight Sparkle changed her address. This turns out to be a much bigger problem than Sombra thought. A Dinky-Doo-sized problem, to be precise.

5th-place finalist in the More Most Dangerous Game contest.

Cover art crudely Photoshopped by me from this and this. I am art and so can you.

Reading by Neighrator Pony