Two great secrets govern Prince Blueblood's life: his passion for writing romantic poetry, and the mare who is the latest target of his affection.

Special thanks to Aziraphael for editing.

In high Canterlot, there is a pony who is a Prince, but not an alicorn. His friends are what his wealth and splendor can buy. His pride is his name: Blueblood. His vanity and arrogance knows no bounds, his aunt has no idea what to do with him, and his bubble of power and prestige remains secure.

But before that, he was just a very small pony in a very big house, with much life still not lived. This is the story of those days, and all that came after.

The Changelings were defeated, and so Canterlot was saved... or so the populace was led to believe, anyways. Unfortunately for Equestria, their assailant was prepared - and even a loss at the hooves of her greatest foe served her plans.

Queen Chrysalis's strategems were meticulously prepared, yes. But in all her scheming, all her machinations, there was one small oversight, something her plans never accounted for...

Hoity Toity wakes up in his lavish penthouse in Upper Manehattan and starts hearing voices in his head. However, turns out he isn't crazy. You see in an Alternate Universe an ultra bad ass human and king of Testosterone named Duke Nukem has just died from saving a bus full of orphans on the way to get heart transplants. It turns out his soul ends up in Equestria in the mind of Hoity Toity probably the most prissy and uppity stallion on the planet. He wakes up one day and little subtle changes start happening.

Join us as we meet the odd couple. A prissy and proper stallion and a macho sadistic narcissistic pervert share one mind. Will Duke change Hoity and help him get the attention of a certain fashion photographer or will Hoity teach Duke some things about himself and grow a little in the process.

Warning this has some strong language and Duke will spout off some homophobic slurs and f-bombs. So, if your easily offended this may not be for you.

The walk back to the convention starts out so smoothly....until Rainbow Dash does something she probably shouldn't have.

Spoilers from "Stranger Than FanFiction"

Breakfast at the Crystal Empire―Cadance with her toast, Shining with his cereal, and Flurry Heart with her... innuendo?

Shining Armor is pretty sure innuendo is not part of a balanced breakfast.

Flurry Heart is of course aged up. Babies can't form innuendo. That's just silly.

YouTube reading by CaptainBron3y!

Dear Princess Celestia,
About that Spike-looking toothbrush. It’s not what it would seem…

Preread by Majin Syeekoh and Tidal

Nice clothes? Check. Bouquet? Check. Prettiest little nurse girlfriend of all time? Double check!

All that needs to happen now is for this big romantic surprise date plan to go off without a hitch. She'll be swept off her feet by dinner at a fancy restaurant, feel as special as she deserves to, and know that she is loved beyond a shadow of a doubt. It'll truly be a special night.
Well, assuming nothing goes wrong, but why would it?
No, of course not! Everything is definitely going to go perfectly according to plan.

Amazing art by Ezoisum, who you should go check out. Will take down if requested.

Frank Horrigan is the Enclave's finest instrument of warfare and the best soldier they've ever had. Known to all as a "genetically engineered cyborg psycho total homicidal maniac", and a kind of "ultra super mutant in power armor". Having been witnessed laughing off plasma rifle fire, and punching deathclaws and armored humans in half, he is one of the deadliest entities to have walked the Wasteland.

Killed by the Chosen One, the Enclave Oil Rig sinks to the bottom of the ocean in a nuclear explosion. But this isn't the end of Frank's adventures. Out of all the odds, he ends up in Equestria of all places. One of the most despicable monsters of the Wasteland in a magical land full of friendship and sunshines. Yeah, this will end well.

At the end of each chapter, Frank will make a Karma Decision. You vote for either the Good, Neutral or Bad decision in the comments for what he does the next chapter. Vote wisely!

Thanks to my super awesome proof readers ArmedBrony, Eldorado and Shadowflash, all kickass dudes that can comprehend my writing! A rare skill indeed.

[WARNING: Contains ear scratching, belly rubs, and blushing cheeks]

Anonymous is sent to jail for his most heinous crimes of bullying in the second degree, there he meets a mare working as a prison guard called Cookies 'n Cream.

Written originally for the Anon in Pone Prison threads on /mlp/, which is where the OC Cookies 'n Cream (Pictured) comes from.