Neutral: Point your gun at her and threaten to shoot unless she starts talking. The only way to make sure they got the message you weren’t messing around is a high powered, thin-burst plasma gun that can destroy even the most powerful power armor in only a couple of shots aimed at their skulls.
Did she seriously think she can intimidate me? Me, Frank Horrigan, the greatest Enclave soldier the Wasteland has ever seen. And she thinks some rundown mutie can even have a glimmer of hope at defeating me, when not even an entire Vault of deathclaws could? Almost makes me want to laugh.
I lifted up my left arm, the sun glaring off the shiny black metal of the plasma gun attached to my armor. My trigger finger felt like it was covered in itching powder, my urge to blast their skulls in with thin-burst rounds shooting through the roof.
“Listen here, mutie. You do not threaten me. And unless you start telling me where exactly I am and how I can get home...” I started, setting off the barrel of my gun to spin, the low hum or the whirling metal just begging to let fly a shower of plasma rounds. “You and the rest of your little ponies die.”
A tense silence settled over us, the only sound being my gun’s whirling while the white unicorn-pegasus mutant just glared at me. Her teeth grinded together and her face contorted into a vicious snarl. I could’ve sworn there was an actual fire burning inside her blazing eyes.
Suddenly the rad dosimeter in the top right corner of my vision spiked, ticks sounding off like an Uzi’s rapid fire as dial cleared past the green, yellow, (though they still looked red to me) and finally reached the dreaded red zone. It stayed there at the end, seeming almost to want to go even past that limit.
Frank, that’s over 1000+ rads she’s producing. That’s fatal radiation poisoning on the spot.
“Yeah, noticed,” I answered my AI back, backing up a step as Celestia’s horn suddenly flared up brighter than the sun, the red of my vision quickly replaced by an intense white. I had to blink several times for my bionic eyes to adjust to it, but even then I didn’t stare directly at her. It was like looking right up to the sun.
This is bad, Frank. Really bad. Her rad output is going off the charts. The only source of radiation that can produce something even close to that is the center of a nuclear bomb.
“That’s a bad thing, right?” I asked, not expecting much of an answer as I backed up another step. I may be resilient to radiation ever since the Enclave scientists enclosed my body in this super high tech power armor, but I wasn’t going to take any chances with something that irradiated. Growing an extra pair of arms through my suit, or any limb for that matter, was definitely not my cup of tea.
Frank, calm her down now! If not, your survival chances have dramatically decreased to zero.
I growled. “No way,” I grunted, taking a step closer and leveling my gun at her head to show that a little radiation wasn’t going to back me down. I wasn’t going to let a frickin’ mutie scare me off with some higher than average rads.
Damnit Frank, get your head out of your ass! This is something that can summon up the power of a nuclear bomb that they tote around on a horn on their head! Getting yourself killed isn’t going to help you get back to the Enclave.
Before I can answer back, that one unicorn, Twilight I remember, jumped in between us. “Stop, please!” she yelled, holding up a hoof to the glowing nuclear waste dump of a pony and me, somehow keeping her balance on only two legs. “We don’t have to resort to violence!”
“Twilight, get out of the way,” the large white pony commanded, her face grimacing as her horn only glowed and more menacingly bright. “I won’t let this thing harm you or your friends any longer. Now move aside so it can’t hurt you.”
“Please, Princess Celestia, attacking Frank won’t solve anything!” Twilight said, not even bothered by the fact her princess was about to go nuclear before her. “He’s just confused is all!”
“What?” I shouted. Confused, me? Pissed off maybe, but I knew exactly what I was doing.
She has a point, Frank. Being dropped down into new territory with any backup isn’t your forte.
“Shut it,” I commanded, prepared to shoot those mutie bastards if they made any sudden movements.
“He can be an alien or something! A new species! We just can’t risk the chance at killing him if we can help it.” Twilight looked back at me, her eyes wide with fear. Or something. Really, her eyes were so ridiculously large it was hard to tell.
Celestia remained silent for several moments longer, her horn producing more radiation than a nuclear reactor as she just continued to stare at me. Sighing, her horn flared out, my vision darkening intensely now that I wasn’t being blinded.
“Fine. As long as Frank here promises to make no other threats or attacks on us, I will not harm him,” she promised, staring hard at me for my answer.
Frank, don’t blow this. Promise that you will so we can get some answers.
“Like hell I will,” I muttered, my arm still raised with my gun level at the pair. They raised an eye at me, but I guess I was too quiet for them to make out what I was saying.
Either you follow your directions as a soldier or go down your own path. Which one do you think the Enclave approves of?
… Goddamn AI. The Enclave demanded total respect and loyalty of its soldiers and it was insubordination to not follow a direct order. And as much as I hated to admit it, the AI in my helmet was my superior.
Yeah, how pathetic. They can’t even trust me to take care of myself, so they make a frickin’ computer my boss. Not that I had to like it, though. The AI’s job was mostly just to keep me in check and make sure I don’t fuck up things too much. Like a guiding system. Just wish they didn’t make the thing so sarcastic and a wisecrack. Higher intelligence machine my ass.
I mumbled several curses under my breath, and finally rested my arm at my side, the gun barrel no longer spinning. “Fine. Now, can you tell me where I am?”
Celestia arched an eyebrow at me, surprised I actually lowered my weapon. Twilight just got back to all fours, sighing a breath of relief that I wasn’t about to go murdering anyone anytime soon.
“Well, to be specific, the planet Equis, in the country Equestria, right in the town of Ponyville,” Twilight answered me, evidently relieved me and her prissy princess didn’t come to blows.
“Yeah, remember you already told me,” I said, glaring at her. Too bad the effect was ruined by the fact that my face was covered by my helmet. “What I want to know is how I got here in the first place.”
“Well, why can’t you answer us that?” Celestia asked, taking a commanding step forward, instinctively putting herself before Twilight. “How did you arrive here, Frank?”
Should you mention the fact you got killed and sunken to the bottom of the ocean in a fiery nuclear blast?
“Shut up already!” I growled, Twilight flinching while Celestia just gave me her usual disapproving glare. “Not you two, the computer in my head,” I hastily explained, tapping on where my temple should be. Judging by the perplexed expressions on their faces, they had no idea what I was talking about.
Frank, you’re going to have to look at the facts sometime. You got beat, and the Enclave Oil Rig got sunk under. There’s no possible way you can be alive.
Like I didn’t already know that. I was frickin’ sliced in half, every wound feasible in my mind, like it happened only yesterday. Which technically speaking, could be true. How I was still alive and in this godforsaken place I didn’t know. And truthfully... that scared me.
I was used to always being in control–-at least with my own actions. But here I was, no backup, no clue how I got here, and even less of a clue how I could get back home.
Ain’t I just one lucky son of a bitch?
“Listen, I don’t know how I got here. I just woke up in a library, with no idea how I ended up there in the first place,” I explained.
“Do you remember events prior to you waking up in Twilight’s library?” Celestia asked, arching an eyebrow at me. “Maybe a magical portal of some kind?”
Magic? Do they honestly believe in that cockinmany bullshit? Damn radiation must’ve fried these mutant’s brains out. “Magic isn’t real. And no, I don’t remember anything before that.”
So I was lying. Sue me. Not like I was going to tell them I got my ass handed to me by a mutie and then dying in a nuclear explosion at the bottom of the ocean.
Nodding to herself, Celestia turned away and began walking to the group of ponies staring at us with wary eyes. “Very well then. If you don’t mind, I’d like to discuss matters further with the others.”
“But princess, shouldn’t we talk things over with Frank?” Twilight asked, trailing Celestia like a puppy to its owner.
“No, go ahead. I already said everything I could edgewise.” That, and because an opportunity to eavesdrop was too great a chance to pass up. Once they were far enough away I whispered, “Hey, get me an ear on them.”
Wow, playing it smart for once. There’s hope for you yet.
Muttering curses under my breath, I waited for the crickle and crackle for static in my eardrums to stop, the AI adjusting my hearing senses. Pretty useful ability, which allowed me to listen over long distances with precision clarity. Those Enclave scientists really knew what they were doing when they ripped off my ears for these new listening devices. Definitely worth it.
After a few short moments of continued static, one final radio pop left me with an ear on their discussion, as if I was standing right next to them.
“Okay everypony,” Celestia began, addressing the rest of the assembled ponies.The unicorn I remembered being called Lyra, Pinkie Pie, the stallion Time Turner, and Rainbow Dash. The other three ponies and dragon were still knocked out it seems, “we still have the problem with Frank to deal with. You all have seen his actions firsthoof. What do you think?”
“I think you should just kick his flank from here to Canterlot,” Dash suggested. Of course she did. She even made an idiotic punching motion with her hooves. Ha, I’d like to see her try that on me.
“Dash, I thought we already agreed upon nonviolent measures?” Twilight reminded her, glaring at the pegasus. Dash just huffed and crossed her arms while still flapping in the air.
“Well, I think this is the perfect opportunity to study him!” Lyra said, a wide grin on her face. Why would she be eager to study me? I just tried to kill her not a few minutes ago. What the hell is wrong with her? Though that creepy grin might be a reason why. “Think about it! An entirely new alien species, right before us! There’s so much we can learn!”
Twilight nodded in agreement. “I agree with Lyra. Though Frank’s earlier actions may have been... questionable, there’s still the fact we have an alien before us. We can’t pass an opportunity like this up to grow ties between our species.”
Wow, these guys actually think you're an ambassador of your species.
“Stupid mutants,” I muttered, my arms crossed over my chest while I tried my best to not look like I was listening in on them. Which I realized was pretty stupid of me, since I couldn’t even look uninterested since no one could see my face.
“Do you really think he can be an alien?” Pinkie asked, a purple bruise clearly seen on her right eye. “How did he even get here? And why was he so mean? Are all aliens meanie heads?”
“Not at all, Pinkie Pie,” Time Turner said. “Since there are countless alien species out in the universe, chances are some of them will be–-how you say–-’meanie heads’. But that doesn’t mean that they’re like that on purpose. It can simply be because their culture and way of life is different than our own.”
Now the stallion tapped his chin in deep thought. “As for how he got here, I’m guessing maybe a dimensional portal of some type. It would take some pretty advanced technology to pull that off.”
“Advanced? He’s in a cyborg suit for crying out loud,” Lyra said, making wild motions with her hooves. “His eyes glow red! He has a cannon on his arm that shoots stuff! Of course he’s advanced! He’s probably ages ahead of us in the tech department.”
“Yeah, and that’s only the stuff we’ve seen,” Time Turner reminded her, a sudden dark expression overcoming him. “For all we know he can have weapons of mass destruction at his call. Maybe even more of his kind. Imagine an entire army like him.”
Yeah, that would be just awful. One of you is bad enough.
I swear to God and everything holy on Earth that when I get back to the Enclave base I was getting this frickin’ AI removed. Or at least replaced with one that isn’t such a jackass. And here I thought artificial intelligence computers were supposed to be emotionless.
“Hey, how do you two know so much about aliens?” Rainbow Dash asked with a questioning brow.
“Well duh, aliens are so cool!” Lyra happily stated, her grinning managing to creep me out even further. “Along with the paranormal! I’m just super into science fiction and weird stuff like that. I even have a tinfoil hat in case the aliens come here for world domination!”
Judging by various ponies’ reactions, and even the princess, this wasn’t that big of a discovery. Great, just met my first mutant whackjob.
Time Turner rubbed the back of his neck nervously, his eyes shifting back and forth. “For me it’s more along the lines of a hobby than the obsession Ms. Heartstrings has here.”
“Whatever,” Lyra replied, sticking her tongue out at him in a playful manner. “All I know is that I’m right. Aliens are real! Take that ponies in high school who made fun of me! Who's laughing now, eh?”
Everyone wisely chose to ignore Lyra’s outbursts and get back to the topic on hand-er, hoof. Me. Man, I just love being talked about when I have no part of the conversation.
“Princess, do you really think you have a way to send Frank back home?” Twilight asked, her face looking like a pet who wants to please her master. God, these ponies were becoming more similar to dogs by the second.
Celestia sighed deeply, her face downcast. “That I do not know, Twilight. If Frank came to Equestria by ways of magic I may have a chance, but if it was due to technological purposes, then I may be out of my league. It could take days, even weeks to find him a way home, if there is one.”
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Days or weeks to get out of this hellhole? I will blow a major fuse if I had to deal with this idiotic muties for more than a few hours. Also the fact that if I didn’t get back to the Enclave soon, I can very well die.
Frank, you have about a month to go before your life support functions fail. You can’t afford to stay here any longer than necessary.
Ah, yes, that doesn’t give me much time. That was one of the downsides of being “married” to my suit. I couldn't be separated from it as it continually pumped me full of drugs, acting as a life support system. Which meant that if I had to stay longer than necessary, I was screwed. And I’m pretty sure a bunch of dirt hoveling muties didn’t have the advanced narcotics and other types of drugs to keep me alive. And under control.
Her face suddenly hardened. “And I don’t think I even want to send him back in the first place for what he’s done.”
Looks like she isn’t agreeing with your brand of diplomacy. Who knew?
Hey, can you blame me? Trying waking up in an entirely new place having only supposedly died moments before, with no recollection of how you got there. Then throw in a bunch of disgusting mutants and the cheesiest, most godawful and ear bleeding song ever heard and you can guess why I was so pissed. Which is usually why the Enclave kept me sedated so events like before didn’t happen on Enclave property. Makes me easier to control.
“But princess, we just can’t let him stay here,” Twilight reminded her, looking back over at me with what could be considered pity on her face. Jackass. “He probably has friends or loved ones who miss him at home. Our world can be an entirely different experience for him, and he was probably confused. Don’t judge him on just what you’ve seen so far of his actions.”
“Judge? What’s there to judge?” Dash asked, obviously rhetorical. “He’s a psychopath with metal for skin! He should be locked in a dungeon or worse for what he’s done!”
Hey, she got your description down pretty good!
“Goddamn AI,” I muttered, resisting the urge to grind my teeth. Can usually chip a tooth that way with how angry I can get.
Time Turner politely cough to get everyone’s attention. “While that’s all fine and good Rainbow Dash, can we even be sure a dungeon can hold him? Or any type of prison for that matter? For all we know he could teleport or blast his way from our best defenses or holding cells.”
“He does make a fair point,” Twilight agreed, tapping her chin in thought. “Frank is still a complete mystery. Trying any action that can prompt him to act violent can lead to dangerous consequences for all of us.”
“Well, at least I’m still threatening,” I whispered, glad that I still had that title under my belt.
Yeah, and look at the wonders it’s worked for you so far.
Damnit, I hated it when the AI made a good point.
“Plus, we don’t even know if more of his kind are due to arrive,” Time Turner said, pacing back and forth with severe worry etched on his face. “If we hold him here, his kind can call out an act of war on us for kidnapping. And if they even have a small percentage of the amount of tech Frank has....” Ah, the ol’ pausing for dramatic effect gag. If only he had a pair of glasses to dramatically take off to improve the look. “Then we can very well be doomed.”
The ponies went silent, a dread-filled expression on all their collective faces. Pinkie Pie curled up into a ball, her hair somehow turning itself perfectly straight as she whimpered and sniveled in the dirt. Dash tried her best to comfort her with a hoof resting on her shoulder, but the once bubbly pony was now a depressed heap on the ground.
“Huh, guess I knocked her head loose more than I thought,” I noted. “Or probably just worse than it already was.”
“Why can’t we all get along? I don’t want to be hurt again. I don’t want to–-” Pinkie’s voice cracked as her sobs overtook her, her eyes opening like tiny valves as tears poured out of them. And now that I got a better look at her, I did notice a large bruise on her chest where I stepped on her earlier. Along with the large bump on her head from when I used her as a baseball.
“Pinkie, it’s okay. No one’s going to hurt you anymore,” Dash assured her, looking up from her friend to stare directly at me. In her eyes I only saw one thing: pure hatred. Not the wild fury and fire of rage. No, this was much colder, much more stabbing to the heart. She really hated me for hurting her friend, and a glare like that only meant one thing. She wanted to get even.
Well, isn't this great? You made one of them cry. Congrats on improving our chances on getting back home!
“You’re not helping!” I snapped, quickly coughing to cover up what I just said so they wouldn’t realize I was talking to myself. Not like they would care much anyhow.
Celestia gazed upon the little pony with a mother’s maternal instincts, kneeling down over the tear laden Pinkie Pie and resting a feather-tipped wing over her back. “Shhh, it’s okay. I’m here for you, my little pony.”
Pinkie just continued to cry silently, until she broke out into a weak sob. She started mumbling something under her breath, but even with my now superior hearing I couldn’t make out what was being said.
But Celestia obviously could.
Her eyes widened, then quickly narrowed to a grimace of unbound rage. And I could only guess who that rage was directed to.
“FRANK!” she bellowed, her voice so powerful the earth shook for a moment, birds took to the skies, and my eardrums were nearly blown apart. Guess there was a downside to eavesdropping in on conversations with high tech listening equipment if one of the speakers can break glass with her voice.
“Oh fucking shit, turn down the volume!” I begged, pretty sure my ears were bleeding at this point. Celestia marched towards me, each of her hoof falls causing the ground to crack. Reminded me of myself, really.
Uh oh, Frank. Walking nuclear bomb heading towards us. Evasive maneuvers, stat!
“The hell are you talking about?” I asked, my question appointed to my AI but apparently also being towards Celestia as well.
She grimaced, her too white teeth shown clearly in a snarl. “You hurt my little ponies and headlessly endangered their lives. And used them for baseball! Not to mention razing a bunch of homes to the ground and potentially slaughtering an entire town of innocents. Your actions will not be tolerated!”
“Yeah, and your point?” I asked nonchalantly, towering more than twelve feet over the princess. The extra height really helps out in the intimidation department, but looks like Celestia was too pissed to be affected by it.
“My point is that no one does that to my subjects,” she practically growled, my rad meter spiking again. Uh oh, looks like she was going nuclear again. “I want you to apologize right now!”
… Seriously? Me, Frank Horrigan, apologize to a lowly mutant? I’d rather rip off my arm and use it to beat myself over the head until my skull cracked open. No way would I ever sink so low.
Frank, please–-
“And what if I don’t?” I asked, staring her down with an equal amount of contempt.
Don’t make things worse–-
Screw it. Might as well as go the whole mile at this rate.
Celestia clenched her teeth, a look of pure malice in her eyes. “If you don’t, then you’ll have no hope of ever going home. And I’ll kick your ass.”
Judging by the looks of her subjects, the princess saying ‘kick your ass’ wasn’t a daily occurrence. Twilight’s jaw practically fell to the floor. Strike that, it did fall to the floor. Holy hell are these guys mutated sons of bitches.
Frank, just apologize and move on. No big deal.
“You honestly believe I’ll apologize to someone like her–-I mean, you?” I said, momentarily confused as to who I should answer.
“Last warning, Frank. Either apologize, or there’s trouble,” Celestia warned, her horn glowing that same ultra-bright whiteness that nearly blinded me last time.
Listen Frank, what are you? An Enclave soldier. Which means you think of the Enclave before yourself. So suck up your petty reasons for not apologizing, and just do it already. You don’t even have to mean it. Do it for the Enclave. Do it to get us home as quickly as possible.
Karma Decision:
Good: Do what your AI suggested and just say you’re sorry. Not like you have to mean it anyways. Just spit it out, so this princess of the muties can get you back home. Not the most demeaning thing you’ve had to have done in your military career.
Neutral: Tell her and her ponies to screw off and hightail it out of there. If she won’t help you, then you’ll find your own way back home. You don’t need her or whatever assistance she can offer anyhow.
Bad: She wants an apology? Instead, lay down the worst insult you can think of. A beautiful masterpiece of curses, disses, threats, rude expressions, and unappealing remarks about her weight. A ‘why you suck speech’ of epic proportions.