I checked. It isn't.
Shining Armor liked his cereal. Specifically the kind with the little marshmallows, because it made him feel like a youth again. That was important to him, he decided, as he looked over the breakfast table and saw his ageless immortal wife and his beautiful daughter with the freakishly large wings. He needed the reminder that youth is in the heart of the beholder as he was getting on in years.
Sure, he was technically just past his prime, he mused as he ladled a spoonful of cereal―all marshmallows―into his mouth. Sure, he had access to the best anti-aging magics in all of Equestria due to socioeconomic circumstances that were well out of his control and stacked in his favor. But there was something about having a fifteen year old daughter that just made him feel old.
He looked at his wife, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza or just Cadance she would correct any and all foreign dignitaries who dared to use such an elevated appellation. He remembered joking that she should change her name to Just Cadance, where she softly giggled at the jab and smacked him. But here she was, his Just Cadance, barely awake and buttering toast with a smile on her face, ostensibly to watch her figure. Having watched Celestia Aunt Celestia eat he was convinced that alicorns were pretty much food dumpsters. Shining Armor slowly chewed his cereal, convinced that that was just a way that his Just Cadance made herself feel young.
His gaze then graced his young daughter, Princess Flurry Heart, who was gazing at him intently as she delicately chewed on her yucca fruit. He loved her with all of his heart, but sometimes she made it a challenge to express it. She would commit juvenile crimes pranks she would call them and claim Royal Immunity upon being apprehended. The guard would bring her home and she’d get grounded for weeks on end. She used to be such a sweet filly.
Something changed a few months ago, though, on her fifteenth birthday. She stopped acting out, which was a boon. She also started dressing provocatively and putting on makeup. Now, he understood on some level that mares like to look pretty, but he wasn’t sure what the clothes were about. He spooned another spoonful of cereal into his mouth as he remembered the lecture his wife gave him about the expression of her individuality where he pointed out to her look at those wings she’s individual enough whereupon he was forced to fend for himself for dinner that night.
But back to the gazing by his daughter. She was looking at him some kind of way, her lips wrapped around the slice of yucca before she bit into it and chewed slowly, her eyes never leaving his face. He was pretty sure it was his face. Wait, was there something on his face?
“Flurry Heart, is there something on my face?”
Flurry Heart let out a mischievous giggle before taking a painfully long time to swallow. “No, daddy. Your face looks fine.”
“I’ll say,” Cadance interjected before planting a peck on his cheek. She then took a bite out of her toast.
“You gotta stop being so self-conscious, daddy,” Flurry Heart said. “You’re a good-looking stallion!” Flurry Heart then wrapped her lips around the masticated end of the yucca fruit, appearing to suck intently.
“Hmm,” Shining intoned before he shoveled another spoonful of cereal―this one was mostly cereal because he was saving more marshmallows for later―in his mouth. Something was off about his daughter. But he couldn’t quite put his hoof on it. The timbre in her voice, the way she ate her breakfast no Shiny don’t go there was suspicious.
He decided to quiet his discomfort with inane conversation. “So, Flurry Heart, what are you learning in school?”
Flurry Heart took another bite and swallowed. “Oh, the uzhe. Sentence construction, particle physics, equivariant cohomology…” she said before lidding her eyes, “sex education.”
Shining Armor swallowed sharply. Time to redirect with some patented Dad humor. “Princess Flurry Heart, I’m ashamed that you would make up a subject like equi-whatever somethingology!”
Cadance giggled. “Shiny, it’s a real thing.”
Shining Armor looked at his wife with mock anger. “Well, whatever it is, it sounds unwholesome. I’m going to have to talk to the school board about this equiparent cornology.” He packed some more cereal into his mouth.
“Oh, daddy, you’re so funny.” She took another bite of the yucca fruit. “So what are you doing today?”
“Well, nothing exciting,” he said after swallowing. “Just have to go over some trade agreements, then have to put the troops through some drills.”
Flurry Heart pouted. “I wish I could go through some drills with daddy.” Shining Armor jammed some more cereal into his mouth she did not just say that. He looked at Cadance. She was eating her toast like she hadn’t heard what their daughter had said. Well, if she was ignoring it, so would he.
Flurry Heart finished off her yucca fruit, then stood up. “Well I have to go to school.” She trotted around the table and wing-hugged her mother it’s like another dimension in there. She then walked around the table, wing-hugged Shining Armor tightly, and pecked him on the cheek. “Bye daddy.” She then sashayed out of the kitchen, Shining Armor catching the barest of glances before he looked into his cereal bowl.
That did not just happen. Did that just happen? It feels like it didn’t happen, but I’m pretty sure it just happened. I should check with Cady.
“Cadance, I think my daughter just came on to me.” Shining Armor put a spoonful of cereal into his mouth and chewed all marshmallows this time yes.
“Yeah, and she was doing a rather poor job of it.”
The speed at which Shining Armor spat his cereal out of his mouth and it was all marshmallows too could be measured at a significant fraction of the Speed of Rainboom. He then whipped his head to face Cadance, who was eating her toast like her daughter had not just hit on her husband. Which was to say, rather sedately.
Shining Armor’s chest expanded and contracted at a significant pace as his eyes slit. “You knew?”
Cadance took another bite of her toast. “Yeah. She was telegraphing it so badly, too. We’re going to have to have a talk about that tonight.”
“But why not when it just happened?” Shining Armor asked as he buried his face into his hooves. “Why did I have to sit through that?”
Cadance put her hoof on Shining Armor’s shoulder. “Shiny, you know how she is. To deny her would just push her harder.” She chuckled. “And it’s kind of cute to see you squirm like that.”
Shining Armor grunted. “Thanks, Cady. It’s nice to know that my misery brings you entertainment.”
“Oooh, I didn’t mean it like that,” Cadance said before she stood up and hugged her harried husband.
“I assume you’re going to tell her that we don’t approve of incest in this family.”
Cadance smiled. “Honey, I think she knows that. She was probably trying to get a rise out of us.” She sat back down and levitated her toast to her mouth.
Shining Armor grunted and ate some more cereal the things I put up with. “But what if she wasn’t?”
Cadance slowly chewed her toast and swallowed it. “I honestly wouldn’t blame her.”
Shining Armor launched a piece of uneaten yucca fruit into his Just Cadance’s face, causing her to erupt into a giggle fit as she threw what was left of her toast at him in retaliation. Laughter, being the most infectious of things, burst out of Shining Armor’s mouth as well.
I wonder if other families go through this.
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I lost it at "It's like another dimension in there"
6940338 I was especially proud of that line.
HAH!
literally just 10 more words, man
6940400 I can't just slam on 10 more words.
I'd have to examine the story and see where they'd fit.
2silly4me
6940407
Just put "Screw Flanders" five times.
6940409 But what if it isn't silly enough?
6940412 Twink. My man. That would totes disrupt the flow of the story.
Innuendo... The very word itself has innuendo.
This was great. We need more of this. More I say!
6940541 I'm glad that you enjoyed it.
That sounds like a fun afternoon, depending on the type of drilling. My dad took me into the garage to try some drilling techniques before, and some of them go for a long time. They'll just be at it all night, drilling and drilling and drilling just to get one of them to finish, and then they'd have to start all over again for the other.
That Craftsmen shit gets built to last.
6940571 That sounds wonderful.
My dad, may he rest in peace, never took me drilling. I had to learn that shit on my own.
I love how Cadance's biggest issue is the clumsiness of the innuendo. She has high expectations for her child when it comes to come-ons.
Also, Shining using cereal as a way to feel young is adorable, more than a little pathetic, and likely something I'll end up trying in the future.
In all, a most enjoyable little slice of life. Thank you for it.
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/rickandmorty/images/c/cf/Jerry.png/revision/latest?cb=20131230002700
6940609 You're welcome.
I often do that as well, just get a box of Lucky Charms and veg out. It's nice.
And of course Cadance has an issue with her daughter's come-ons. Innuendo is often a gateway to love. Flurry Heart has some work to do!
That's what she said.
God-
i.imgbox.com/gEkFUMB8.png
derpicdn.net/img/2014/3/19/579243/large.jpg
Beat me to it.
WHY ARE YOU MAKIMG ME SHIP THESE TOO!?
It's wrong!
Immoral!
Kinky...
OH GOD, NOT THE KINKS!!
Thumbs up!
What the heck? Did I just read something incesty and it was actually good and not creepy?
Are you a wizard, Syeekoh? Because... now, I could be wrong here, but... to have done this, I'm pretty sure you must be a wizard.
6940943 I'll let you have your kinks.
6940951 I have been accused on wizardry on occasion, yes.
Missing commas.
Missing comma.
I can honestly say I have never successfully seduced my mother. Your mom, on the other hand... There was no success there, either.
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Princess Flurry Heart: Stealing your Husbandos since Spring of 2016.
~KBO.
6941242 I reserve my right to argue colloquialisms on those two examples.
And I had no luck with your mother, either.
Is this really already happening? For Christ sake she's not only a newborn but she hasn't even been introduced yet!
6941596 I advise you steer far clear of derpibooru, then.
This is incredibly tame by comparison.
derpicdn.net/img/2014/4/29/612973/medium.png
God-fucking-dammit, Syeekoh.
You magnificent bastard.
That last line makes me terrified that we might be looking at the next Would It Matter, and we're about to see every filly under the sun waggle their hips at their parents.
I am not okay with that possibility.
Majin, you may have the like for a most perverse, unusual concept.
And on sheer curiousity, I started doing searches to see if it was common for daughters to flirt with their fathers....
...upon seeing the results list, I stopped myself forcibly. By beating myself over the head with one of my wife's mason jars.
I would need to dive deep into sexual development, child psychology, and all sorts of lovely related academic papers in order to truly satisfy that curiosity. However, I am at the low end of IT, and don't have the time to research such topics for leisure just yet.
6942580 I chose the title for a reason.
I bet that Twilight Sparkle is so proud of how smart her niece is. I had to look up equivariant cohomology just to find out it was a type of math (and that was all I could figure out from it).
It could be rather amusing to see the story with Cadance talking to Flurry Heart about what happened. Flurry could be all worried about getting in trouble for trying to flirt with her father, and then gets confused as Cadance proceeds to discuss subtlety and nuance.
6942660 I like to throw in shout-outs to high-level math to show how advanced their schooling appears to be based on that one image of Cheerilee'e chalkboard we saw one time. My brother wrote his Doctoral thesis on that particular area of math. It's pretty much Greek to me, though.
And yes, that would be an interesting story for another day.
Not as creepy as it could have been.
There is something on his face, isn't it?
Welcome to being a husband, Shining!
Nice story.
Only a 25 sec. teaser and Flurry Heart is popping up everywhere.
I love this fandom!
Well then.
That happened.
6943808 It did, yeah.
6943036
Now imagine what the fandom can do with more than a 25 second teaser.
Really though, this fandom is probably the wildest (not to mention nicest) one I've been in.
Favorite part of this is the fact Cadence is mainly critical of her daughter's technique. This is what happens when the alicorn of love has a teenager.
"Princess we regret to inform you your daughter was caught in the woods being strutted by a stalion against a tree"
"Flurry Heart! Strutted against a tree!? What kind of unimainative position is that? I expected something more out of you!"
6943036
That is where she came from? I... I can't expresses how disappointed I am to see that she is an alicorn. Its hard for me to explain why I feel this way. Dragon Ball Z had a similar thing, becoming/being a super saiyan was supposed to be special. Yet when Goten was able to go super saiyan just because his father was able to do so it completely lost its significance.
6944928 Derpibooru's got you.
derpicdn.net/img/2016/2/10/1084258/large.png
This DEMANDS a sequel. And a full blown story of Cadence and Furry Heart getting a bet on who will seduce him. That would be friggin awesome.
Pro - Just Cadance thingy
-Shining Armor
-Marshmallow cereal
-Incest flirting
Cons- No sequel
you can arrange that and make it perfect
6941652 I ain't racketing on your work but like I said it seems FAR too soon.
Especially when she's a newborn.
6945370
It needs to be rated mature though
6947500 Ey, this guy gets it. No actual sex tho.
This was weirdly entertaining. The awkwardness of it all is just kind of hilarious. I agree that it looks like this could be expanded into a weird (but funny) longer comedy story.
You know, at this point, we just need a 'Goddammit, Syeekoh' meme. Would save some of us some trouble.
Nice story, though.
But Flurry Heart is actually an eldritch star spirit in equine form.
So...
They're not biologically related, so it wouldn't be weird at all!
6945370
yes