"Thanks, Mom." Two simple words said by a simple guard.

Not so simple when those words are accidentally addressed to Princess Celestia.

The Tasty Treat becomes a successful restaurant, despite not having the three-hoof rating that makes all the restaurants in Restaurant Row successful. The Queen of Cuisine, Zesty Gourmand, will not let this stand without criticism.

Unfortunately for her, somepony else will not let her flawed method of critiquing restaurants go unpunished. And he's not holding back anything. No way in Hell, especially in his own kitchen.

Spoilers for Season 6 Episode 12

Random Oneshot Idea that just popped in my head.

Contains vulgar language and verbal bashing (Judging from the cover art, you can tell why).

In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Pony discuss life, truth, and ear scratches.

[Comedy] [Slice of Apple]

11th place finish in the Writeoff.me short story competition “Forbidden Knowledge”

Sunset Shimmer visits Equestria and spends some time taking care of animals with Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash is apparently not good with certain animals.

Sunset discovers very quickly that what you learn from the human world cannot be unlearned, ever.

Rated Teen and Sex for a pile of juvenile innuendo, though technically no bad language. Only technically.

Anon goes to use the public restroom, only to discover the lack of urinals. This confuses him. Potty talk ensues.

Pre-Read and heckled by FlutterPriest and The Skeetster,

Now translated to Chinese by Dreams Set Free! Thanks a lot!

After a long day working, Twilight realizes Rarity hasn't come over to bother her at all, and honestly, that's even more distracting than the actual act of distracting her.

Short warmup ficlet written in between chapters of another story.
Cover art belongs to the awesome Selective-Yellow!

  One sunny afternoon while walking in the park, Scootaloo suddenly decides to hug Sweetie Belle unprompted. As the minutes pass, it becomes clear that she has no immediate desire to let go. This leads the girls into a few awkward chuckles, some light ribbing, a long rambling conversation about everything and nothing... and an unexpected heart-to-heart as two very close friends confide some of their insecurities together, taking solace in the powerful trust and love they share for each other. Shortly followed by some more awkwardness.

After a harrowing and dangerous quest, Twilight Sparkle and her friends have recovered Excelsior's Ecstatic Codex from an evil zebra cult intent on ending the world. The Codex, one of the greatest works of dark magic ever forged, carries within its pages a limitless collection of vile, twisted spells, all specially devised for anypony who opens the cover.

What do you do with a book of dark magic? If you're Twilight Sparkle, you put it in your library. Because that's where books go.

After all, books are for everypony.

This story is a sequel to Astral Aegis

We had almost fifteen years to prepare. We have a world that would be a shield for Equus when war finally comes to us. We have new weapons, armor, and vehicles for this war. We have the Aegis Guard, which I trained to the best I could, a force that would serve on the front lines and more for this war. I just hope that is enough.
Editors: Personal Gamer Chapter 1-6
Rozen Knight Chapter 10 and onward.

Top three reasons to always use hair conditioner:

1. Soothes hair cuticles for shinier-looking hair.
2. Strengthens the hair shaft and protects against breakage.
3. A unicorn will come and totally chew you out if you don't.

Now with a Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi!