To Hug a Sweetie Belle

by Swan Song

First published

One day, Scootaloo randomly decides to hug Sweetie Belle and refuses to let go. Awkwardness and laughs ensue… followed by a heart-to-heart between two very close friends. A pure dialogue story.

  One sunny afternoon while walking in the park, Scootaloo suddenly decides to hug Sweetie Belle unprompted. As the minutes pass, it becomes clear that she has no immediate desire to let go. This leads the girls into a few awkward chuckles, some light ribbing, a long rambling conversation about everything and nothing... and an unexpected heart-to-heart as two very close friends confide some of their insecurities together, taking solace in the powerful trust and love they share for each other. Shortly followed by some more awkwardness.


A light, experimental, dialogue-only exploration of the social motivations that drive platonic physical affection. In other words: pure undistilled friendshipping fluff.
You have been warned.
Cover uses artwork by Megarexetera and NekoColonThree.
Inspired by Harmony Pie's "How to Hug an Alicorn".

Because Sometimes… Sweetie Hug.

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“Umm… Scootaloo?”

“Yeah?”

“What are you doing?”

“What's it look like, Sweetie Belle?”

“It... doesn't look much like anything, since you're behind me and I can't see you.”

“...It’s a hug, Sweetie.”

“…Yes, I gathered that.”

“Well, there you go.”

“...But, um, Scootaloo…”

“What? Am I not allowed to hug you?”

“Well, n-no, that's not it…”

“So what's the problem?”

“Well...we’re outside.”

“Mhm.”

“In the middle of the park.”

“Duh.”

“And you're just…”

“Just…?”

“Hugging me.”

“Yep.”

“From behind.”

“Yeppers.”

“I… I don't get it—”

“Oh! Hey Sweetie, what shampoo do you use?”

“W-what?”

“Your hair. It smells really good. What shampoo do you use?”

“...the heck, Scootaloo? Stop sniffing my hair!”

“But it smells good.”

“That’s weird, Scootaloo! I don't want you sniffing my hair!”

“Why would you make your hair smell good if you didn't want people sniffing it?”

“I— you just— did you— I don't even—"

“Exactly. So, ya gonna answer my question, Sweetie?”

“W-why should I? Since when do you care what my hair smells like?”

“Since just now, actually.”

“Why now all of a sudden?!”

“Because your hair smells good and I'm curious.”

“...Just curious.”

“Yep.”

“...Ugh.”

“So…”

“...I use Floral Auras. Lilac, specifically.”

“Ooh, that’s right, you usually pick up a bottle whenever we go to Barnyard Bargains.”

“Wait, why'd you even ask if you remember?”

“I didn't remember until you told me. Otherwise I wouldn't have asked.”

“...Oh. That makes sense, I guess.”

“Yeah.”

“...”

“...”

“Umm, Scoots?”

“Yeah?”

“How long are you planning on hugging me for?”

“Hmm…I dunno. Maybe a little longer.”

“But we’re in the middle of the park.”

“Barely anyone's around.”

“Yeah, but still. We’re out in public.”

“So?”

“It's weird.”

“No it’s not.”

“People will see us.”

“Everyone knows we’re best friends.”

“I… I guess, but best friends don't just randomly up and hug each other for like ten minutes at a time.”

“…Yes they do.”

“No they don't! Name someone who does.”

“Scootaloo does!”

“Wha—! That doesn't count! You can't name yourself!”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re— you can't just— I mean— because you can't!”

“Mm, yes. That logic definitely checks out.”

“C'mon, Scoots, you know what I mean!”

“Not really, no.”

“Grrr… Scoots…!”

“Heehee.”

“Ugh. You're insufferable sometimes.”

“Admit it. Your life would be super-duper-boring if I weren't around.”

“Well… yeah, but that's beside the point!”

“Nah. It’s totally the point. Just admit it, Sweetie Belle. You put up with me because ya love me.”

“I— well yes, I love you Scoots, but—”

“So, case closed.”

“But just because you're my best friend and I love you doesn't mean you can just do whatever you want!”

“Well, no, but I can hug you, right?”

“…Scootaloo, yes, I already said you can hug me.”

“Okay. Cool.”

“...”

“...”

“Why, anyways?”

“Hm? Why what?”

“Why did you decide to hug me out of nowhere, all of a sudden?”

“I dunno.”

“You dunno?”

“Yeah. I dunno. I just felt like it.”

“...”

“Sorry, I guess I shoulda asked first. Is it bothering you? You’re not uncomfortable, are you?”

“...No, Scoots. You're fine. Actually, you're a little cozy.”

“Oh, okay, good. Just wanted to make sure.”

“...”

“Didn't want to, ya know, scar you for life or anything. You know…with my friendship.”

“Haha, Scoots, don't be silly.”

“I'm always silly.”

“Ain't that the truth.”

“...”

“...”

“...It just feels right.”

“Huh? What does?”

“Me hugging you, ya doofus.”

“...Oh.”

“Almost as if it was always meant to be like this.”

“Okay…?”

“No, really. It's like, ever since the dawn of man, the Stars have been staring out across all time and space, waiting for the moment that you and I would be born. And through their divine will, they've been subtly manipulating the paths we took in our lives so that we would one day meet each other and become best friends. All so they can bear witness to this singular moment in time where I snuggle my face into your hair from behind.”

“...Scootaloo, what even the heck—”

“Never have I felt such peace. Never have I been so content with my lot in life.”

“Oh for Stars’ sake, Scootaloo, shut up. You've been reading too many Daring Do books.”

“Well hey, you know what they say. Do as Daring… uh, Do’s. ...Does? Dozes…?”

“Scootaloo, no one says that. No one has ever said that. Ever.”

“That's not true.”

“Yeah it is! Name one person that—”

“Scootaloo!”

“...Oh my Stars, you're so dumb.”

“And in my dumbness, I am happy.”

“Well alright, Scootaloo. Whatever floats your boat.”

“Whatever tickles my pickle.”

“...Scootaloo, what even? That's gross. You don't have a pickle.”

“Not with that attitude.”

“I… I don't even know how to respond to that.”

“Just roll with it.”

“Yeah, okay. That's just the only way to handle you, I guess. Roll with it.”

“Heck yeah. ‘Rollin’ around at the speed of sound—’”

“Stars, Scoots, don't even start. We already have to deal with enough of that stupid meme stuff from Button.”

“But what if I got places to go? Got eyes on the rainbow?”

“You always have eyes on Rainbow.”

“Hah! Can't argue with that.”

“Hay, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you had a crush on her.”

“Pfft. Me? Have the hots for Rainbow? No way, it’s not like that at all.”

“...”

“...What?”

“You hang out with her every chance she's free.”

“So that maybe some of her awesome will bleed onto me!”

“You're the president of her fan club.”

“Heck yeah, someone's gotta do it.”

“You call her senpai and beg her to notice you.”

“…Yeah, okay, maybe that's a little excessive.”

“Uh-huh.”

“But seriously, it’s not like that. She's like a sister to me. I love her, but not in that way. Also, she's way older than me, so what the heck. And besides, I already have feelings for someone else.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, okay.”

“...”

“...”

“So…?”

“So…what?”

“You're not gonna ask me who it is?”

“No.”

“Oh. Huh. That's kind of a surprise.”

“Is it? Why?”

“Well, because you're…you're you.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“I dunno! You're a little sis to the town’s biggest gossip. What do you think it means?”

“It means I'm nothing like Rarity and you know that.”

“...Okay fine, but admit that you still wanna know who I like!”

“Well, you're right. I do want to know.”

“Right! So…why aren't you asking me?”

“Because, Scootaloo, if you wanted to tell me, you'd have told me already. You haven't, so I'm assuming you don't want to, and I respect your privacy enough not to pry.”

“...Oh. That...that's actually pretty cool of you, Sweetie Belle.”

“I try.”

“...”

“...”

“...But, hypothetically speaking, let’s say I did want to tell you.”

“Then tell me, Scootaloo. I'm all ears.”

“...”

“...”

“...Eh. Never mind.”

“No? You sure?”

“Yeah, nah. I dunno if I like him after all. Not yet, at least.”

“That's fair.”

“I mean, it’s just a crush, right? Crushes don't mean anything.”

“Er, well, I disagree with that, but okay I guess.”

“You disagree?”

“Of course. How else do you tell if you're in love with someone?”

“But having a crush on someone doesn't mean you'll actually fall in love with them, right?”

“Isn't a crush the same thing as falling in love with them in the first place?”

“...No, Sweetie, it just means you think they're cute.”

“That's not the same thing?”

“No!”

“How?”

“You can crush on multiple people at a time. But you can only love one person at a time.”

“What? To me, you can only have a crush on one person at a time.”

“That's weird. You've never had crushes on a couple cute guys at once?”

“No, never.”

“You've never looked at two really good looking studs and thought, ‘hey, they're both cute,’ at the same time?”

“Huh? That's different. I can think that multiple people are attractive at the same time.”

“So then you have a crush on both of them!”

“No I don't! That's not how crushes work! I just think they're cute. I have to be interested in dating them for me to call it a crush.”

“You mean you're not interested in dating them?”

“Not both of them at once! That's cheating!”

“No no no, I don't mean, like, literally dating them at the same time. I just mean, being interested in both of them at the same time.”

“Oh. Well then, no to that too. I'd only be interested in one of them.”

“Huh. Okay then.”

“Besides, just because I think someone is cute doesn't mean I wanna date them.”

“No?”

“Yeah, what if they're, like, super-mean or something? I have to get to know them first before I have a crush on them.”

“Really? Okay, I guess. I mean, I figure that's what dating is for in the first place. To get to know them. Like a fourteen-day Netflix trial.”

“What? No, I don't think so. To me, dating is definitely the real deal. You don't date someone unless you know you like them.”

“...That's kinda weird, but okay, I guess.”

“It’s not weird!”

“It is to me, but whatever. I guess you just see crushes and romance and stuff differently than I do.”

“...I guess?”

“Yeah. No big deal, it’s whatever. Romance is weird and stupid and confusing anyways.”

“But if you like this guy—”

“For the last time, it’s just a dumb crush and I don't think I actually like him, so it doesn't matter. Just forget I said anything.”

“...Okay.”

“Cool.”

“...”

“...”

“It’s Rumble, isn't it?”

“Wha—?! How'd you know—”

“I didn't, actually. Just a hunch. Thanks for proving me right though!”

“...Stars above, Sweetie Belle, you really suck sometimes.”

“Hehe.”

“Grrr…”

“Seriously though. He's a cutie pie. I ship it. Go get ‘em, tiger.”

“You ship—?! Ugh, what the heck. I didn't ask for your opinion, Sweetie Belle.”

“Well too bad. I ship it. I ship it with free two-day shipping through Amazon Prime.”

“You should consider not shipping it at all.”

“Too bad! There are no brakes on the Shipping Express!”

“Ugh. Wow. I shouldn't have said anything. Next time I'll just keep my mouth shut.”

“…”

“…”

“Scootaloo, I'm sorry.”

“Hmm?”

“I didn't mean to tease you about Rumble.”

“It’s whatever. Don't sweat it.”

“Okay.”

“...”

“But I think you should have a little more confidence in yourself, Scoots.”

“What? Who says I'm not—”

“Every time you change your mind that quickly, it’s because you thought about it for more than ten seconds and then get nervous and scared.”

“Scared?! I'm not scared! How does that mean I'm scared?!”

“I've known you for years, Scootaloo. You're scared. You can't hide a tell that obvious from your best friend.”

“...Okay, so what if I am?”

“Well, why are you scared?”

“Because he might say no.”

“Why do you think he'd say no?”

“Because he probably likes…girly girls and stuff.”

“‘Girly girls’?”

“Yeah. Like, ya know…you, Sweetie.”

“…”

“…”

“…Is that why you asked me about my shampoo?”

“…Maybe?”

“Haha, oh Stars, Scootaloo…”

“W-what?!”

“Relax. I don't think he's like that, Scoots.”

“What, you think he doesn't like you?”

“Umm, well… I don't think so, no. At least, I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me. We barely talk, and when we do, it's pretty… you know, normal. He's not nervous around me or anything.”

“Well, I don't know! Then maybe he doesn't!”

“Scoots, why don't you just ask him out and learn the answer for yourself?”

“B-but what if he says no?!”

“So?”

“So?! That’s embarrassing!”

“Why?”

“Because it would mean I'm not good enough for him! Because I'm not pretty or cute like you! Because he might think I'm silly or stupid for asking, or—”

“Scootaloo, stop. That's not true.”

“…Really, Sweetie Belle? You can't honestly tell me that I'm pretty like you are—”

“You don't have to be. Just because you're not pretty or cute in the same way I am, doesn't mean you're not pretty or cute, period. And it definitely doesn't mean you're not good enough, or stupid, or silly, or ugly. You're pretty, and cute, and smart, and clever, and funny.”

“…Okay, so then if that's the case, why might he say no?”

“Why are you so convinced he'll say no?”

“I don't know! I just…what if he does?”

“If he does, it just means he doesn't like you back.”

“…Sweetie, that doesn't help me at all.”

“No, but that can't even be helped. If he doesn't like you that way, he doesn't like you that way.”

“How is that not a bad thing?!”

“It’s just not! He has his own likes and dislikes that he can't control. It’s just who he is, something he was born with. That's not his fault, and it’s not yours either. That's just the way it is.”

“…”

“And this is all just a big what-if, anyways! You're jumping to assumptions. Who knows? Maybe he does think the same way about you. Maybe he thinks you're super cute too! You never know until you ask.”

“...”

“But even if he doesn't think you're cute, it doesn't mean you're not cute, it just means you're not cute in the way he's looking for. But you'll still be cute to someone else, and it doesn't have to be him.”

“...”

“...Does that make sense?”

“I…I guess it does.”

“Right. So don't be scared to tell him how you feel, okay? Don't be scared of him saying no, because that doesn't mean anything in the long run. Just give it a shot, and when you find out how he feels, you can go from there.”

“...”

“Okay? Can you do that?”

“...Yeah. Okay. I will.”

“Atta girl.”

“...Why’s it matter so much to you anyways?”

“That's a dumb question. You're my best friend and I love you. I wanna see you be happy. And when a chance at happiness is right there, I don't want you being too scared to reach out and try to grab it.”

“…”

“…”

“That's… Wow. That's really sweet of you to say, Sweetie Belle. Thanks.”

“That's how I do! My name's not ‘Sweetie Belle’ for nothing.”

“Haha, don't let it get to your head. It’s my job to be full of myself.”

“Hehe.”

“...”

“...”

“I think that's why.”

“Why what, Scoots?”

“Why I'm hugging you right now.”

“...Why, 'cause you're full of yourself?”

“What? No! No, that has nothing to do with this.”

“Then… why?”

“Because…because I was scared. And I think I needed someone to hug.”

“...Oh.”

“Yeah. And you, especially. Because you're just...”

“Just…?”

“You're Sweetie Belle.”

“...Um, thanks, I guess?”

“Urgh. How do I explain it… You know how, sometimes, you just have one of those days where your head is so messed up that you just need to, like, I dunno, hug a puppy?”

“Yeah…?”

“It’s like that. Sometimes, puppy hug. Except replace the puppy with you.”

“...Uhh.”

“Sometimes, just… Sweetie hug.”

“…Well, okay then.”

“I dunno. You're just good at this stuff.”

“What stuff?”

“Like, people stuff. People, and relationships, and life. When things are exploding left and right, you're good at making me feel like I'm not falling apart all over the place. It’s like talking to you, hugging you, spending time with you makes me feel…I dunno. In control. Because you always seem to have it so together, you know?”

“Hehe, well, I dunno about that. I've got my own stuff going on too. But I'm glad I can help keep you stable.”

“Haha. Yeah. So am I.”

“Still doesn't explain why you're hugging me from behind though.”

“Oh. I dunno.”

“Hehe. Is it because you don't want me to see your face when you get emotional?”

“W-what?! No! That's not it at all.”

“Sure thing, ya softie.”

“I'm not a softie!”

“Says the girl who wants to randomly hug me for like a half-hour!”

“Ugh! Sweetie!”

“I don't mind though, honestly! Just don't get any snot in my hair when you cry and you're good.”

“Sweetie Belle, no. Don't be a dork. I'm not going to cry.”

“I know, I’m just teasing you, Scootaloo. You know I am.”

“…Yeah. Heh. I know.”

“Hee...”

“...”

“...”

“So hey, Sweetie Belle, you said you've got your own things going on?”

“Yeah.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“…I dunno.”

“What kinda stuff is it?

“It’s…kinda like your stuff, I guess.”

“Oh, so like, you have a crush on someone too?”

“...Yeah.”

“Cool. Okay. Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Honestly…I don't think I'm ready to.”

“Alright. That's fine.”

“…”

“…”

“…Silver Spoon.”

“Wait, what—?!”

“HAH! Yes! My trick worked!”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

“In your shock and surprise, you let go of me! I'm finally freeeeee! Free of your behind-hug thing!”

“Awww, you little cheat!”

“Teehee!”

“You tricked me!”

“Yep!”

“Urgh. Fine. You got me. I guess I hugged you long enough anyways. Sorry.”

“Haha. I was just kidding. I don't mind it at all. You can go back to hugging me if you want.”

“Nah, I'm good. Thanks for being a good sport though.”

“Of course. It was…nice, actually. I like your hugs. Even if they're random and from behind.”

“Heh. Alright then. I'll be sure to do more of it in the future.”

“I'll look forward to it!”

“No no no, you have to look behind, because I'm gonna sneak-hug you!”

“Hehehe! You're silly!”

“Hah, not as silly as you! Man, that bombshell! You, liking girls? I can't believe I fell for that.”

“...”

“And heck, having a crush on Silver Spoon of all people? That's the craziest thing I've ever heard, haha.”

“...”

“...Sweetie Belle? What’s the—? Wait. Waiwaiwaiwait. Don't tell me…”

“...”

“...You weren't joking, were you.”

“…No.”

“Horseapples. What the heck, Sweetie Belle? I thought you said that just to trick me into letting go of you.”

“...Just because I tricked you with it doesn't mean it’s not true.”

“Oh.”

“...”

“...Oh crap. Sweetie Belle, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to—”

“No, it’s...it’s okay. I kinda was doing it to get a feel for your reaction anyways. And you pretty much proved it for me. Now I know it’s crazy.”

“What? No, Sweetie Belle, it's not crazy. What are you talking about?”

“Of course it is. Me, liking girls? Liking Silver Spoon? How can that be right? That doesn't make any sense. And you said so yourself—”

“No, Sweetie Belle, that's not what I... Sweetie Belle? Hey, are you okay?”

“...”

“Sweetie, look at me.”

“N-no—”

“Fine, just…come here. You don't have to look at me, just come over here, okay? C’mon… That's it, there we go… Shh, shh…”

“...”

“Listen, Sweetie Belle. When I said crazy, I didn't mean it like that. I meant, like, hard to believe. A surprise, yanno? But that doesn't mean it’s impossible, or that it doesn't make sense.”

“...”

“You said it yourself. People can't control who they like or dislike. Right? So if you like a girl, and if that girl happens to be Silver Spoon, that's not something you can control, right?”

“...”

“I mean, sure, it took me by surprise. But it’s not crazy. It’s not stupid. It’s just... the way things are. So don't sweat it, okay?”

“...”

“Sweetie, what do you like about Silver Spoon?”

“...”

“Is she pretty?”

“...Yes.”

“What about her is pretty?”

“Her… her eyes.”

“Yeah?”

“Her silvery hair…how they're always done up in braids…”

“Yeah.”

“...Her glasses.”

“Yeah— wait, what? You have a thing for glasses?”

“...”

“I mean, nothing wrong with that. Glasses are cute and all. I just never took you to be a…well, a glasses-liking person-thingamajigg, I guess. But hey, ya learn something new every day. I can dig it.”

“...”

“Is there anything else you like about her?”

“...She's smart.”

“Yeah.”

“She has a pretty voice...”

“Okay.”

“She's really mature, and carries herself like a lady.”

“…Sure, I can vibe with that.”

“She plays video games—”

Oh right, duh. You two are friggin’ nerds to the core. How could I forget.”

“Haha…”

“Oh, and she's rich too!”

“...Abuh? She's not— well, I mean, yeah, I guess she is, but that’s not why I—”

“Man, I bet it’d be awesome to date someone rich. I'd totally take their money and buy a big house and, like, ten Super Hornets.”

“Scootaloo, I’m not— uh, what? What the heck is a Super Hornet?”

“Only the most wicked aerial combat aircraft ever designed!"

“Oh for Sun’s sake, Scoots—”

"Superseded only by the F22 Raptor! …If they ever figure out how to actually deliver the thing.”

“Scootaloo, that's great and all, but—”

“So what would you buy, Sweetie Belle? An Audi? Something like that?”

“...No, Scootaloo. I wouldn't buy an Audi.”

“You wouldn't buy an Audi? You seem like the kind of girl that'd go for an Audi.”

“Ew.”

“Ew? Really? Seriously, what’s your dream car?”

“Like, a Mustang or a Camaro or something.”

“...”

“...”

“Apple Bloom, what are you doing here and why are you dressed up as Sweetie Belle.”

“Shut up, Scootaloo, I like muscle cars, okay?”

“Pfft. Okay, girl. Then date Silver Spoon and have her buy you a Mustang or whatever.”

“Why would I— no. I wouldn't make her buy me a Mustang. I wouldn't make her buy me anything.”

“C’mon, girl, have some ambition. Silver’s next in line to own her entire family’s company, remember? You'll be drowning in cash. She can take care of you for the rest of your life!”

“Scootaloo…! Gosh! I don't like her because she’s rich, and I don't want her to take care of me like I'm some kind of baby! I like her because she's pretty, and kind, and smart, and talented, and shares all the same interests—!”

Snrrkkt.”

“...?”

“Hehehe. Relax, Sweetie Belle. I'm just joshin’ with ya. I know you're not that shallow.”

“...Oh.”

“But are you feeling better now that I've lightened the mood?”

“...Huh. Actually, yeah. Yeah, I am.”

“Good! Because all of those things you said about why you like Silver Spoon five minutes ago? None of those are stupid reasons. Not at all. And you shouldn't feel bad about them.”

“...”

“So just go and ask Silver Spoon on a date.”

“I… Yeah. I will. Probably. Someday.”

“Soon?”

“...Soon, I guess.”

“...Hey, I know! Why don't we make a pact of it?”

“Huh?”

“Before the end of the week, I'll ask Rumble out, and you'll ask Silver out. And then we’ll get together and see how it goes.”

“...Huh. Okay.”

“Deal?”

“Deal.”

“Awesome.”

“Yeah.”

“...”

“...Stars, talking to you made me feel a lot better about all this.”

“Totes McGoats.”

“Urgh. Sorry. I got your shirt all dirty.”

“That's okay. I don't mind. You cry whenever you need to. I'll make my shirt a designated landing zone for your face.”

“Hahaha…”

“Just like your fluffy curly hair is for mine.”

“...Heeey.”

“Heehee. What can I say? It smells nice.”

“Haha… you dork.”

“Only for you.”

“Awww.”

“Hehe.”

“...”

“...”

“You know, Scoots, I'm starting to get this random hugging thing more now.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Whenever you hug me, I feel…protected. Like you're holding onto me. To keep me safe.”

“Well good. You should always feel safe around me.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, except when I fart.”

“...Ewwwwwww, Scootaloo, don't talk about your farts.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault my farts can't smell like tulips in spring like yours do.”

“Eww, Scootaloo, don't talk about my f-farts! They don't smell like that!”

“Pfft! Okay, fine. Lilac and gooseberries.”

“Stars, why do I put up with— oh hey. I understood that reference.”

“And there's the answer to your own question."

"Hahaha… fair enough, Scoots."

"Heh. You know it."

“...”

“...”

“Scootaloo?”

“Yeah, Sweetie Belle?”

“You're really the best friend a girl could ask for.”

“Heck yeah I am. I'm just that awesome.”

“Pfft!”

“But I'm never awesome unless I'm hanging out with friends just as awesome as me. Like you.”

“Hehe… aww. Preach it, sister.”

“Heck yeah.”

“I love you Scootaloo.”

“Love ya too, Sweetie Belle.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...Hey Sweetie Belle, did you gain weight?”

“…Wow, Scootaloo, you jerk.”

“It’s not that bad! I think it's just a little baby fat, oh, right around...HERE—!”

Eek! Oh my Stars, Scootaloo, you suck! That's my tummy!”

“It’s not my fault your tummy is extra pinchable!”

“Scootaloo, you get back here! I'm gonna pinch you to high heaven!”

“Hahaha!”