Seriously, a lot.

(Now with a Spanish translation by the generous SPANIARD KIWI!)

The bustling city of Metropony is under siege by Luna and her villainous assistant Trixie's army of deadly Lunatrons! Can Lyra and Bon Bon's crimefighting prowess and vast supply of heavy munitions keep the city safe for yet another week? Find out in this exciting episode of... HARPFLANK AND SWEETS. Warning: Not suitable for under-5s or those of an unawesome disposition.

- Now with added side-story, by supersheep64! - Harpflank and Sweets: The Lost Episodes
- Now with more added side-story, by RTStephens! - Haprflank and Sweets: Season 1
- Now with further more added parody, by Cold in Gardez! - Harpflank and Sweets: A Very Special Episode
- Now with extra further more added parody monstrosity, by Blueshift! - Sweetflank and Harps
- Now with extra TVTropes!
- Featured on EqD, rated 6-Star, for what it's worth!
- Exclamation marks!

=====Originally Written Summer 2011=====EQD Post=====
Cereal Velocity should really be careful what he posts up on Equestria Daily. A one-shot of an Octavia story Cereal wanted to see written.

Octavia may be a gifted musician, but that doesn't mean she always liked her instrument. After all, what filly grows up wanting to play a huge contrabass?

Humans.

Truth or myth? Ancient lost civilization or just an old pony's tale?

No pony has ever seen one, and most haven't even heard of them. But Lyra knows that these wonderful creatures are more than just old legends, and she's going to find out... and possibly drive her roommate insane in the process.

This story is a sequel to Best Hell Ever

Once upon a time, Twilight went to hell. It wasn’t that bad. It was pretty great, actually. It had a library! A big one. Like, bigger-than-the-universe big. But then Twilight went and got herself kicked out of hell, and now she’s depressed.

There’s only one logical solution: with Starlight’s reluctant help, Twilight is going to break into hell and invade its library. Oh, it’ll be tricky — trying to find one specific location in an infinite dimension tends to be a bit hard — but the infinite knowledge it’ll provide is too good to pass up. Twilight will find that library if it kills her (which, since this is hell, isn’t the worst thing ever in the grand scheme of things).

There is absolutely no way this can possibly go wrong.

The legends told of their return.

For over a decade Equestria has been beset by the dragons. Every year more villages vanish in flames, and the lonely cities stand as our last redoubt. Winter has gripped the world, and our hope is fading.

But the legends tell of another, a light in the darkness. The Dragonborn, a mythic warrior reborn with the power of the Voice, the only one who can stand against the dragons.

But when she appeared, she was not what we were expecting...

Being the Royal Advisor for Celestia and Luna, you've come up with solutions for many of the nation's problems.

Unfortunately you said a naughty word in front of a guard. Seeing as how these ponies are extremely sensitive, you lie your way out of it.

The events that follow could only be described as "completely stupid".

Rated Teen for naughty words being said.

Thanks to Zephyr for editing.

Featured within 1 hour and 30 minutes on Aug 12, 2015. Thank you guys so much!

Good thing I was reading this on the toilet, because this story made me lose my shit. -LeoneHaxor

Love is shared, Thorax and the changelings are freed, Chrysalis is defeated, and alls well that ends well. But Twilight isn't Celestia. An escaping villain should be chased down. In pursuit of chrysalis however, Twilight is surprised to uncover the truth of who the queen really is, and learns a little of the truth of politics in the process.

A personal twist on the season 6 finale, inspired by watching said finale, listening to my brother complain about it, and pondering how I would have structured the story differently. Less a "Fix" and more a "what would I do if I ran the zoo?"

Twilight's power, along with that of Celestia, Luna, and Cadance, has been claimed by Tirek. Drunk on power, the demon-centaur is unleashing destruction upon Equestria, his reign of terror just beginning.

But there is hope. A crystalline chest, a gift from the Tree of Harmony, able to be opened by six keys. Keys which Twilight has now claimed the last of. All they can do is hope, hope that whatever is contained inside the chest is enough to stop Tirek.

And then something goes wrong ...

Note: This story is in no way connected with my other fanfics. It's very much a one-off in good fun.

Twilight Sparkle prides herself on following and sticking to her plans, but she isn't as organized as everypony thinks. Her master list, the plan for her life, has an item that she has never been able to check off; and the time has come to fix that. How hard can it be? All she needs to do is go on a date and get a kiss.

Now available in hard or soft cover!