Wanted: Porter, assistant, jack-of-all-trades, minion. Applicants should be strong, loyal, pain tolerant, cold tolerant, unambitious. Must be capable of following simple instructions. Ideal applicant should be of low to average intelligence and mildly deformed, but exceptions will be made for extraordinary candidates, with extraordinariness to be determined by employer. Must be willing to begin work immediately.

Remuneration will be in the form of room, board, and insight into the true nature of the cosmos. Extremely generous bonuses up to and including subcontinents may be awarded if merited and if circumstances permit. Interviews for the position to be conducted at 108 Haybale lane at 10:00 AM sharp on 4/7. Applicants are expected to be punctual.

—The Dark Lord Sassaflash

Editing and indispensable writer-prodding by The Masked Ferret

Great and Powerful Trixie lands the performance opportunity of a lifetime. A kingdom and all its riches are hers - as long as her audience doesn't kill her first.

An entry for the 2024 May Pairings contest.

An infiltration attempt goes from ‘wildly successful’ to 'weird and confusing' in record time.

Thanks to Tired Old Man for edits, suggestions, and helping with the title. Also thanks to Nova Quill for her edits and suggestions.

Bon Bon's voice is funny, and that's about all that anypony who meets her notices, as her marefriend Lyra soon steals the spotlight with her explosive personality, strange obsessions, and curious beliefs. And why not? Bon Bon is, after all, a perfectly ordinary, boring pony in every way but two: her voice, and the carefully kept secret that she isn't really a pony.

(Edit:) Now with an annotated version, courtesy of the incomparable Shoggoth Lord!

Nothing foils a good plan for revenge like having your plot explained to your target, and then being forced to spend time with said target without murdering them.

This is a lesson Chrysalis will learn during one of the strangest days of her life, courtesy of an insane (or possibly just inane) draconequus.

As for Starlight, well, it's not like she was doing anything. What's a guidance counselor in a school of friends even do? Honestly.

TL;DR Discord tries to forcibly ship Starlight Glimmer and Chrysalis.

Now has sequelitis! https://www.fimfiction.net/story/411966/discord-vs-harmony-the-greeting-card-industry-strikes-back

This story is a sequel to Five Centuries Of Peace

All things, both good and otherwise must end... Or so they say, anyway.

Check out the first in the series, here!

This story was made possible by supporters on Patreon/Subscribestar and was viewable earlier for said supporters. Head over there if you want a story like this for 5$ or to see stories early for just 3$!

This story is a sequel to Five Decades Of Strife

Sometimes it's not easy to understand the ones you love, and it can be even harder to help them. Celestia knows this all too well.

Check out the first in the series, here!

This story was made possible by supporters on Patreon/Subscribestar and was viewable earlier for said supporters. Head over there if you want a story like this for 5$ or to see stories early for just 3$!

Content warnings: Adult themes, and mentions of sex and violence. Viewer discretion is advised.

This story is a sequel to Five Years Of Struggle

Five decades have passed since Celestia's proposal, and much has changed, the royal couple most of all. Though war, war never changes.

Check out the first in the series, here!

This was a request for a patron and was viewable earlier for said patrons. Head over here if you want a story like this for 5$ or to see stories early for just 3$!

This story is a sequel to Five Weeks Of Deliberation

The Everfree Hive rises high above the landscape, leaving much of the forest in shadow. With her city thriving, and her changelings growing in number Chrysalis aims higher still. Unfortunately for her, Celestia has other plans.

Check out the first in the series, here!

This was a request for a patron and was viewable earlier for said patrons. Head over here if you want a story like this for 5$ or to see stories early for just 3$!

This story is a sequel to The Five Second War

The five-second war is over, as have four weeks of careful deliberation and discussion. All that is left is for Equestria's elected officials to weigh in on their changeling problem. That shouldn't be hard, right?

This was a request for a patron and was viewable earlier for said patrons. Head over here if you want a story like this for 5$ or to see stories early for just 3$!