• Published 9th Jun 2018
  • 3,999 Views, 227 Comments

Discord vs. the Greeting-Card Industry - SoloBrony



Starlight Glimmer and Chrysalis find themselves the subject of Discord's latest prank; shipping them on a dare.

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THE DATE

Starlight and Chrysalis had spent most of the train ride in silence. Chrysalis contented herself watching the scenery pass, trying to plan out the date as well as she could. Her internal mantra about her own greatness was the only thing that helped keep the nerves at bay, at this point.

Occasionally, the mental image of Starlight being disgusted with her and sending her packing would come to mind, and it would elicit a wince. The idea of failing at this stage and being rejected wounded the queen more than she cared to admit to herself.

Starlight, for her part, was busy refactoring her relationship with Chrysalis in her head. She had been somewhere between 'friendship teacher' and 'only friend in the world' to Chrysalis before; this sudden change in course meant that she couldn't think of Chrysalis in those terms. She had to treat Chrysalis as an equal, and make sure they were both happy in this relationship.

Except I AM her only friend in the world right now! Rejecting her would be absolutely devastating to her at this point! This puts us both in such an awkward position!

Starlight stole a glance at her traveling companion, who was still gazing out of the window like she didn't have a care in the world. Silently, Starlight implored Chrysalis.

Please, please don't be terrible at this. I don't want to have to choose between hurting you with honesty or lying to you.

The train finally came to a halt, and Starlight was startled when Chrysalis sprang to her hooves, offering a hoof to help Starlight rise.

"Ready to depart? I've got quite a day planned for us."

Starlight blinked a few times, and then took Chrysalis hoof with something between a squeak and a giggle.

Ugh, me! Come on! AAAAAGGH I FEEL SO MANY CONFLICTING THINGS RIGHT NOW

As they made their way off of the train, Starlight tried to be casual.

"Soooo, what kind of day? It seems like you put a lot of thought into this."

"Of course I did, Starlight. If I can apply my mind to plotting revenge for months at a time, what's planning a date?"

Starlight, for her part, snickered.

"I guess I didn't think of it that way. But you're right. Now the pressure is on if I plan the second date."

Chrysalis smiled. Actually smiled, warmly.

"Already thinking that far ahead, are you?"

"Oh! Er, uh, I'm just saying, I thought usually, if they keep dating, couples usually alternate...?"

Chrysalis laughed – her voice had lost some of its menacing multiple-tone timbre since her change, but it still came out in her laugh, giving it an almost musical quality.

"Starlight, relax. I just find it amusing that you're taking this all so seriously, so quickly. The point of a date, as I understand it, is to have fun. So relax and enjoy yourself; I promise nothing I have planned will be too outlandish or bothersome for you."

"Oh! Well, good. Good. Sorry, I'm just... pretty nervous."

Chrysalis frowned at that, looking at Starlight seriously.

"I don't intend to do you any harm at this point, Starlight. You've been very... well. I needed what you offered. Thank you."

It was Starlight's turn to go scarlet, and her mind went back to the evening Chrysalis had changed. Granted, most of that evening had been spent consoling a weeping ex-queen, and the change itself had happened after both of them had nearly dozed off, but the entire thing had been...

Well, like Chrysalis said. She needed it.

"I wasn't afraid you meant me harm, Crissy. I'm just nervous because, uhh... well, because I've never been on a date before."

Chrysalis paused, and then laughed again.

"You haven't? Well, that makes two of us! Sorry, I didn't mean to assume you didn't trust me. It's just, Twilight seemed pretty defensive towards me when I spoke with her – I suppose I let that go to my head. Now, let's set off!"

The two made their way through the city in companionable silence. It hadn't escaped Starlight's notice that Chrysalis had kept her plans hidden, but she decided to express a bit of trust by leaving that be. Her eyes lit up when they reached their destination.

"The library? Do you know about something interesting in here?"

"I do, in fact. Crystal Empire books are not allowed to be taken outside of the city limits, but we can rent a few tomes of interest, and I know just the place to take them within the city limits."

Chrysalis grinned at Starlight mischievously, and Starlight found herself returning the expression.

"You really do have something planned out, don't you?"

"Oh yes. This should be quite a day to remember."

"Ooh, ominous. Well, let's get in there and get our books!"

After renting their books, Chrysalis led Starlight to a secluded park within the city limits. After checking that no one was around, Chrysalis nodded and smiled viciously.

"Alright. Now, take out the first book and open to page 236."

Starlight removed the first book from the bag, and gasped.

"Advanced teleportation and phase theory?! I've been looking everywhere for a copy of this!"

"Don't get too excited about the book, Starlight. It's got some inaccuracies, and you're going to be one of the first unicorns to learn about them."

What followed was a demonstration of various special changeling spells, starting with the fire-portal spell Chrysalis had once used to trap Twilight underground, and discussion of their defiance of conventional unicorn magical rules. Starlight found the entire experience both enlightening and immensely enjoyable – especially when Chrysalis, slightly exhausted from magic overuse, had fumbled a fire portal spell and ended up teleporting the air around an object instead of the object itself, resulting in a loud detonation that sent both of them staggering.

Seeing Chrysalis embarrassed reminded Starlight that despite her past and demeanor, Chrysalis still wanted the same things anypony else did. She didn't lack a care towards what others thought of her.

Once they were both tired and hungry, Chrysalis took Starlight past the outdoor vegetable market to pick up crystal berries, and the two of them dined in a quaint, quiet outdoor area. The whole experience was so simple and companionable that Starlight found it easy to forget that she was romancing one of the most dangerous villains in Equestria's history.

Easy, but not effortless.

Then again, I was arguably the most dangerous villain in Equestria's history. So I guess I shouldn't overthink it.

By the time they finished eating, it was getting dark outside. After spending a half-hour watching a beautiful crystal-lantern event, Chrysalis took Starlight to a hotel she had rented a pair of rooms in for the evening. Starlight laid a hoof on Chrysalis' shoulder before they parted ways for the evening.

"This was really nice. I mean really, really nice. I think most ponies would have defaulted to the classics for a first date – fine restaurant, idle chatter, whatever – but I liked this a lot more."

Chrysalis just smiled back at her.

"You're not most ponies, and neither am I. I can hardly imagine either of us being impressed or happy with such a dull routine."

Starlight just shook her head, smiling.

"You really got in my head for this date. I mean, you knew exactly what I was interested in this month. Hah! Now I know why you spoke to Twilight!"

Chrysalis rolled her eyes and nodded.

"Okay, yes. That was the idea."

"That couldn't have been easy for you, with your history. Thank you."

Chrysalis shrugged. "Not easy, but you've made yourself worth the effort in my eyes. Good night, Starlight."

"Good night, Crissy."

As Chrysalis departed to her room, Starlight ruminated over what she had observed.

That wasn't an act. She really wants to make this work.

Oh Celestia. This is the weirdest situation to be in. But I want to make it work too.

Ultimately, she came to one prominent conclusion

I HAVE A MAREFRIEND! EEEEEE!

Author's Note:

Meanwhile, poor Twilight is drinking some hard cider and lamenting that her not-even-a-princess student has someone pursuing her, and she still hasn't had a single person approach her...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6RzAq2ivc0