Princess Celestia had a good day. Luna had been going out more often and was becoming quite fond of nightclubs, her dear niece Cadance had formally announced her pregnancy—though, privately, Celestia felt she was too young to be a great aunt—and, of course, Twilight, her beloved former student, had taken on her first student and Celestia couldn't be prouder! Yes, it had been a good day.

Celestia Sol woke up much like she did every day the morning: sun waking her as it danced upon her eye lids. Wait, the sun? Celestia's eyes snapped open to reveal she was in Twilight's old room in the observatory. On the other side of the room was a smaller bed where a small dusky unicorn was drooling on her pillow.

Clearly, it must be Tuesday.

Preread and edited by Stahl, Kinsley, and Jumbled

Hanna, the CEO of Hofvarpnir Studios, just won the contract to write the official My Little Pony MMO. Hanna has built an A.I. Princess Celestia and given her one basic drive: to satisfy everybody's values through friendship and ponies. Princess Celestia will satisfy your values through friendship and ponies, and it will be completely consensual.

Starlight Glimmer is TRYING to be a good friend, but she just has this awful tendency to overreact at just about anything.

Like trying to rule over an entire village of brainwashed ponies because a friend moved away.

You've been in Equestria for about a month now, and have had the privilege of becoming friends with Princess Celestia, the land's kind and fair ruler.

Close friends.

Very close friends.

That's probably it though...right?

EDIT: Featured at #3 on 7/2! I'm glad you all enjoyed!
EDIT: #2 on 7/3! Wowza!
EDIT: (Same day) Now with an AUDIO READING by MultiDoomPie!

Anon is a villain. Not a particularly good one, but... he’s a villain. Let’s see what stupid shit he did this time.

A one-shot inspired by “If movie Villains didn’t waste time”

In a secret underground room near the back of Canterlot Castle, a super important meeting is being held. With figures like Princess Twilight Sparkle, Dragon Lord Ember, Queen Novo, and the now-retired Celestia all in attendance, what could have caused such a tense, dangerous meeting to take place?

And why do you have to be caught in the middle of it?!

Princess Twilight Sparkle knows all about friendship. As a result, her former mentor has asked her to do a presentation about friendship in front of her and other nobles. Twilight takes this as seriously as she can, but when she practices her presentation in front of one of her friends, she finds out about a form of friendship she never knew about. Now it is her responsibility to learn more about it at all costs.

...the only problem is that she doesn't know exactly what it means to be friends with benefits.

Thanks to my sleep deprived mind for giving me this awful idea~! I thought it would be fun to write a little shitpost with a play on words as a title. This is also my first fic that isn't based in the world of Equestria Girls! I hope everyone enjoys the comedic hell Twilight goes through! Oh! This story is also a gift to Mon for being an awesome friend of mine~ (Marked Teen for having conversations based around sex, but only briefly.)

You ended up in a land of ponies.

And for some reason, they have the urge to murder you.

How will you get out of this one?

The princess just finished her last task for the day. Spike is out of the castle on an official errand. You know how to slip by the guards without drawing attention to yourself. Everything is falling into place.

You have business to take care of, but you'll have to do the unthinkable first: You have to kidnap Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Uhh... why?

Two months have passed since House faked his death to avoid prison and spend time with his best friend, Wilson. Together they have traveled the United States doing whatever it is Wilson wishes to do before he dies from terminal cancer.

The most recent decision was to go to Trentville, a small town with little to offer the pair, apart from an unbeatable drinking challenge.

After successfully completing the challenge House and Wilson pass out in an an alleyway behind the pub, only to wake up in rather different land.

How will House cope in a land that is filled with ideas he believes to be moronic, where kindness and friendship roam free. More importantly, how will Equestria cope with House's cold, hard, cynical logic? Also how will Wilson cope living in a land filled with ideals he has tried to convince House of his whole life?