There's really no way to prevent it. No matter how careful you are, regardless of one's dedication to personal cleanliness, they're going to get in eventually. And for most ponies, it's a moment of deep gross-out, followed by scrubbing down their entire pantry, kicking out far too much of what's in it, and ending with a regretfully expensive shopping trip to replace what was lost.

But this is Rarity. The situation was unacceptable. And her intention was to take out the problem at the source.

Now if she can just find a way of explaining that to the jury...

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Rated C for Crackfic.

After over a hundred years of ruling, Princesses Celestia and Luna are finally getting around to having their capital city built. For head mason Gabion, it's a once-in-numerous-lifetimes opportunity. Canterlot can only be built once, and he's the one overseeing it.

But there's a snag. The design of the castle is eye-poppingly impractical, ready to fall over the cliff at a moment's notice. It's a sin against good architectural practices everywhere. Even Celestia's assurance that she'll personally lend her magic to help build it does little to reassure him.

...And now he'll be giving orders to Princess Celestia herself for the duration of construction. This is going to be a weird job. Maybe he can get to know her a bit, if only to make things a tad less bizarre.

About a week after the Friendship Games, the human Twilight Sparkle is settling in at CHS and Sunset Shimmer is trying her best to help ease the process. A chance bit of online silliness sparks a conversation that goes places neither expects.

A stream-of-consciousness experiment with my favorite gangly ape nerds.

Rated Teen for suggestive dialogue and premarital hand-holding.

It's been several years since Ditzy Doo helped stop the Elements of Harmony from accidentally destroying the world. Since then, there have been a number of developments familiar to those who followed recent Equestrian history in more conventional timelines. Some saw her assistance; others didn't. Chrysalis she could help with; Starswirl's Unfinished Spell not so much.

But there's one impending disaster that won't be familiar to any onlookers. In this world, ponies age at roughly twice the rate of humans until they turn ten. Little Dinky Doo is seven going on sixteen.

The first impulse of any planeswalker is to run away from the problem. That doesn't work when the problem is her daughter.

A much-expanded version of an entry in the 11/8 Quills and Sofas crossover speedwriting competition. Set roughly between Seasons 4 and 5. Kindly preread by Akouma.

In the far-off Frozen North, a mysterious, long-lost empire reasserts its hold over Equestrian magic. Tasked with securing it for the betterment of Equestria, Princess Cadance will be forced to overcome not one, but two of its overthrown monarchs.

Part of FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns II contest. Set immediately prior to Season 3, no relationships to any previous Cadance tale outside the show / comic / chapterbook canon. Special thanks to horizon and my beloved spouse for their pre-reading help.

Now with a Spanish translation by the gracious SPANIARD KIWI!

Twilight learns what comes after life ends.

Winner of the Happy Stories Speedwriting Contest, written in 60 minutes.

Do you want to learn to sharpen your skills as a writer? Then join the speedwriting Discord channel!

Sunset Shimmer was the Spirit of Harmony, preserver of a newly magic-infused universe, unwilling object of worship, and girlfriend of the most brilliant person this side of Equestria.

Until, one day, she wasn't.

Part of the Oversaturated World.

Equestria is rather notorious for its historical illiteracy. A thousand years guarantees anypony who wasn't there to witness the event won't remember it. Even the passage of a few generations runs the risk of events falling by the wayside.

But some things ponies remember, even if they don't always retain the reasons why they hold onto those memories. Twilight Sparkle just found one, and now she's going to try to find the reasoning behind it.

It's worse than she could ever imagine. On so many levels, it is so much worse.

Inspired by "Corn & Peg," a Nick Jr. cartoon that G4 very well could have been in a much darker timeline. Set in very early Season 8, during the School of Friendship's construction, and assumes that "Spring Breakdown" took place during that time. Blame/thank Estee for this story's existence. No heretics were BLAMMED in the making of this story.

Wherein the foals of Ponyville stage a Hearth's Warming play, and everything goes irretrievably to hell.

Written for Alaborn for the 2018 Jinglemas collab.

They are known far, wide, and—thanks to one member in particular—deep. At least, they would be if they were worse at their job. As it is, the crooks responsible for some of the greatest thefts in recent history remain unknown to all but each other. Now their boss is calling them in, for what is sure to be...

Rated Teen for a coprolite-mouthed Diamond Dog.