• Member Since 26th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen 13 minutes ago

beirirangu


lived in Germany until i was 8, then moved to Russia until i was 17 where i was moved to Florida of the USA for these last few years. So sorry if Gramatically I not very good

Comments ( 178 )

I'll give this a shot. Just be sure to keep any potential Twilight or Celestia chapters taged so I can skip them, ok? Those ships squick me out as much as AppleMac does, and for exactly the same reason.
:eeyup: x :ajbemused: = :pinkiesick:
:moustache: x :facehoof: = :pinkiesick:
:moustache: x :trollestia: = :pinkiesick:
...and needless to say...
:trollestia: x :facehoof: = :pinkiesick:

Luna gets a pass, however, seeing as she is mearly the SISTER to Spike's foster mother and Twi's godmother, not the foster mother or godmother HERSELF. :raritywink:

Okay, I like this story and want to see you write more, but you really, really need to get a prereader to catch all those mistakes.

Overall it's a good clopfic, however, some grammatical errors and spelling errors are there.
The letter 'i' is capitalised regardless of its position in the sentence.

>>EndGamer
I completely agree, my english not is veery good still. If i had ANYONE to read before, i would indoubtably

>>Starcat5
I understand, my chapters going to be labled by character spike with

You should get a pre-reader or something, because of the grammar errors and stuff like that. Anyway, keep up the good work.

i want to say da faq?:applejackconfused:








ps.WRITE MOAR:rainbowkiss:

This is good continue yes :pinkiehappy:

209275
yep... I not could really say names each if they doing same... wanted different verb persons each

208975
wat? what is faq?

208620
honest, if i could, I would indoubtably... I even looking for anyone to

209741

faq is another way to say fuck

Also, I would love to pre-read your stories

:trixieshiftleft:.....this is good really good make more!:eeyup:

What happen to Ch.4 :rainbowderp:

229839
I took off Table Of Contents... still debating why i put there if i put back

233161
glɪtʃiprədəkʃənz
aj no wət ɪt ɪz naw: fak ikwəlz fək

Only ten percent of the paragraph breaks I have seen here are properly placed.
This is a well written story, just nowhere NEAR a well edited story.

244294
I know perfecty well that it not good grammar in language i not very familiar with... I good enough to order food, not write book...

also, not using as excuse, but i forced to write between phone calls and legal things about a family member that died...

Not bad, not bad. The mistakes sometimes made it hard to figure out what you were saying, but I won't dwell on that, because I figure you've heard it already. In any case, I like the idea, Spike is my favorite character and seeing him get around is quite the treat. :pinkiehappy:

And if you need someone to do corrections on your story before you publish it, I'd be willing. :twilightsmile: Just an offer, take it or leave it, it doesn't make the story in less fascinating.

271324
i not spell can english worth sh*t
and grammar

I'm not sure why, but I am perfectly, -perfectly- okay with this.

good story... i want to see were this goes...:moustache: tracking

And hear I can place a full review of the chapter even though I've already read it. This story deserves some comments.

Anyway, I can't wait to see how Spike implements the new item he has acquired. Celestia is very generous, isn't she? :pinkiehappy: Either way, I'm sure it will lead to more hot scenes and more descriptive writing. :moustache:


(Sorry about the empty comments. Something's wrong with FIM...)

ya did well on this except as many people have already said the grammar and such. good job altogether though thumbs up for ya :eeyup:

lolololololololololololol :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: this chapter

Very good chapter, with only the occasional spelling or grammar mistake, please update again soon. Really surprised me with the fluttershy chapter though.... :trollestia:

:moustache::moustache:Luna FTW more eventually Soon I Hope

nice tell her welcome to the herd. and nice story i hope you can up date soon. u had small mistakes spelling and spacing but thats all. you may have had more but im not a english student. anyways very nice and hope to read more soon.

Just out of curiosity, are we going to see an AJ, Dash, and/or Pinkie chapter?

355831
just 1 sec... i'm going to put back my originl plan for the chapters (it was the first thing i posted here)... and edit it just a bit...

357274 *reads the plan*
Oh God....:applejackconfused:
I think the crazy train is going to go barrel rolling off the rails into madness while bees are attacking everyone everywhere, including their eyes, while burning, at around the Big Mac chapter. From Big Mac onward, it looks like pure unadulterated madness.:rainbowwild:
Spike might as well stand on a tall stool in the middle of the town and just jizz on everyone like a jizz spraying sprinkler. (I think that was the best sentence that I have typed to date)

The plan needs some grammer and spelling fixin for wide pop consumption.

Then again, a fic thats just plain bannanas is fun to have on the ol tracking list.

I'll bring my poncho and umbrella.

357618
i know how you feel... :pinkiesick: but the friends that overheard me talking about this insisted that i have them... (pervy, gay friends... :ajbemused:)

its cool i understand

358750
was... was planning... but mostly i was wanting to write them for the sake of them being there... because for the life of me, i can't find most of the pairings...

plus that was one of my conserns as well... not making it repeditive...

*reads plan* Spike and... Big Mac? Well, I'm out of here.

400283

read my other comment:

357647

400842
If you don't want to write it, then don't. Alternatively, you could just make those AU side-stories. But seriously, regardless of your friend asking you to write it, if you do write it as part of the story, I'm not reading it.

401800
i respect that... and as i said with starcat5: (or at least tried to mean) "I'm labeling the chapters by who spike's with, so those who don't want to read about that pairing don't have to."

402505
That would be fine for a fic that was a collection of one-shots, but here each chapter builds upon the last in a canon. A canon where Spike is into guys is not one I'm interested in.

403076
when was this ever about him being into guys? i have NEVER said he was... or EVER will be...

I originally made this to be a series of one-shots... but i got caught up in the storyline and desire for a untimate sparity end...

PS i like yaoi (guys on guys) as much as i like yuri (girls on girls) which is not at all! :twilightangry2: but i still wrote three yuri fanfics for my friends (long before MLPFIM)

403376 hmm now theirs an idea you could toss the yaoi/gay ones up as one-shots (probly set um up as their own story maybe toss a link in the description) and keeps this more hetero/straight maybe the occasional 3 ways cause the writings great and skipping the yaoi chapters would be vaible as one shots but you have a story going here and it seems details that will matter latter could be skipped over as well which would be sad face of doom as it were.

Obviously its your call but if nothing else it would be cool if you had the details at the start of the chapters afterwords kind of a summery minus the gay sex for those of us who would rather bypass it

Also yay for the ultimate spartiy ending:moustache::raritywink:

PS looking over the plan i didn't see any yuri tossed in their and ya no 3 ways are a gray zone /shrug but i do somewhat agree if you don't really wana write the story that way you shouldn't its your story even my suggestion is just that a suggestion

PSS either way keep writing the story!

429175 you know that's what i'm thinking...

but one thing i have to disagree with is the yuri (lesbian sex) BECAUSE this is a fanfic DIRECTLY about Spike... if anything it would be him and two females... which shouldn't be present right now because the story is just getting going... maybe in the later chapters like scootaloo where applebloom and sweetiebelle help spike out to give her the pleasure they felt with him...

430076 right right i was just saying you said you weren't into none hetro couples and as such you didn't have any lesbian/yuri pairings (which i agree wouldn't make sence outside of a 3 way for the story) :pinkiehappy:

Also why you may not have wrote it in any detail (though i hope you do:raritywink:) you did just have celestia walk in on spike and luna and seem rather suggestive of a 3 way (possible bonus chapter mayhap if you hadn't really planned on following up their)

430508 :raritywink: suggestive threeway :raritywink:

286036 She is being generous because of what she gets in return and what she gets is the bets experience in her life

475159
:trixieshiftright: can't tell if don't like story or don't like on hiatus :trixieshiftleft:

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