• Member Since 2nd Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen Feb 13th, 2013

dragonheat


Comments ( 16 )

Definitely a good one. You should write more!

this is well written have a:moustache:

(Joke) Alt. Title: Romance & Dragons (R&D): If You Can't Beat The Heat...
...Get featured!

2064380

... Do I have to do something to get featured? I just thought it showed up there if the mods liked it.

The good: you have some good characterizations, and some very good imagery in this story.

The bad: this reads like a bad hentai. The pace is far too fast, not enough time is put into building things up enough for this to be anything more than sex for the sake of sex

Everything is over the top, from Spike's size to the amount of semen he spewed everywhere, to the way he takes Sweetie. Add to that her lines straight from a cheap porno and my response isn't "Hmm, that's sexy!", but more like "Really? He wrote that?"

I advise you to tone down the porn and build a bit more an the story elements. This has a lot of potential that it's nowhere near meeting.

Luna and Celestia above! So many actually read this one. Guess it goes to show.

Just so you know, this isn't my only profile. This is just going to be where I post my X-rated work. My normal profile is gjhorst. I have an ongoing story called The New Dawn if you feel like reading some non clop-work. I've been working that for over a month now and this one little guy trumps it in one day.

Anycase, I'll have the next part of Dragon's Heat up as soon as I finish it. We'll be dealing with the repercussions of their night of passionate love. Or should I say nights?

A "drake" is a term used to describe a male duck, not a young dragon.

I hate it when spike turns into a duck.

2100282

Yes, Drake can refer to a male duck. It can also refer to:

1) A first name
2) A type of fairy of European mythology
3) A European style dragon, in popular culture a male one. It derived from the term Draco.

I am not the first to use it this way and I will not be the last.

Spike is not a duck... today.

I mirror the thoughts of 2067354 here. The story could really use more build-up, and some of its elements could be fleshed out a lot more.

What I have found as particularly jarring was the transition between the scenes just before the "main course". It was really rushed and stilted in my opinion. Wasn't it the first time the two got intimate in that way? It certainly didn't feel like it from what I've read.

Also, with that cover picture you should probably mention that the story is not anthro.

But anyway, I will keep my eye on the story in case you decide to revise or expand it :moustache:

Fantastic! I am amazed by this work. And they say, literature is over rated

I feel it was a good story, I would have liked to get alittle more out of its build up but overall i would say i enjoyed your work. I would like to see more about their relationship and their daily lives. Hope we can see them out on a date, (after Sweetie tells the girls what it is like to sleep with dragon (as Rar listens in lol)):moustache:

So, there's gonna be more? It says incomplete.

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