• Member Since 27th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 24th, 2022

Silentpegasus

An aspiring writer that loves the fandom and it's works

Silentpegasus Joined 27th Sep, 2012 · Offline

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After recovering from his last mission Splintered Lance, Shinning Armor's oldest friend and comrade is reasigned to Ponyville to guard Twilight and the Elements. Can a designer help this battle scarred stallion cope with the sins of his past or will the pain be too much to bear?
Chapters (14)
Incomplete Published: Mar 12th, 2013 Download
70,506 words
Comments ( 151 )
Onyxfire408
Onyxfire408 #1 · Mar 12th, 2013 · · · Chapter 1: Overwatch ·
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It's ironic how this story, along with Stealing A Heart of Gold both have to do with Rarity dating cops/ police forces. Along with classified info and brute strength.:raritywink:

Shadow Bolt
Shadow Bolt #3 · Mar 12th, 2013 · · · Chapter 1: Overwatch ·
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*Knuckles crack* new story:pinkiesmile: Review Time:

“Captain Armor reporting for duty ma’am.” He said as he saluted the mares.

Shouldn't it be Prince Armor now?

This Splintered Lance, he reminds me of someone *cough*Gear Grinder *cough*Shining Shield*cough*

Rarity being harassed in Canterlot and gets saved by OC*cough*Shining Shield*cough*

“Well, thank you guards man. I was on my way to the train as well. Would you be so kind as to give a mare an escort?” She said as she gave him a pouting face.

derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTIvMTIvMjgvMDJfMzJfMTZfMjU5XzE5NTQwNl9fVU5PUFRfX3NhZmVfcmFyaXR5X2FuaW1hdGVkX2R1Y2tmYWNlX2JsaW5raW5nIl1d/195406__safe_rarity_animated_duckface_blinking.gif.gif *end of review*

All in all this is has got my interest, although it seems like this story is a fusion of Crazy About Apples and Stealing a Heart of Gold. Also post a pic of Lance.

A Lonesome Writer
A Lonesome Writer #4 · Mar 12th, 2013 · · · Chapter 1: Overwatch ·
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This interests me, please carry on.

Mr Skeleton
Mr Skeleton #5 · Mar 12th, 2013 · · · Chapter 1: Overwatch ·
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i see the mature rating. you know i gotta ask right......will there be clop?

Silentpegasus
Silentpegasus #6 · Mar 12th, 2013 · · · Chapter 1: Overwatch ·
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2254390 Maybe.
2254057 If you their stories were fucked up just wait.:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy: This'll probably be my darkest fic ever and yes there are some similarities between the two characters but there are also major differences. For example: Splinter isn't as brooding as Shield and doesn't have a split personality like Gear.

Kickback
Kickback #8 · Mar 12th, 2013 · · · Chapter 1: Overwatch ·
Reply

Hmmm, I wonder if he's crazy about apples...:moustache:
But seriously, mate, this is great, might be similar to your other stuff but you know what, I LOVE YOUR WORK:pinkiehappy:...:rainbowlaugh: He's supposed to guard the elements BUT DOESNT EVEN KNOW THEIR NAMES:rainbowwild: also, best OC name and design by you so far, I reckon:twilightsmile: is he gonna steal that heart of gold?:moustache:

Silentpegasus
Silentpegasus #10 · Mar 12th, 2013 · · · Chapter 1: Overwatch ·
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2254733 still deciding I don't even have the 2nd chapter written yet.

JDPrime22
JDPrime22 #12 · Mar 13th, 2013 · · · Chapter 1: Overwatch ·
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Will read later....too tired. :ajsleepy:

Hidden Calling
Hidden Calling #13 · Mar 22nd, 2013 · · · Chapter 1: Overwatch ·
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Havent read any of your mature stories and thiss one looks good...:eeyup:

but dont chicken out on any clop scenes i dont want the ending of stealing a heat of gold all over again:duck:

JDPrime22
JDPrime22 #18 · Apr 8th, 2013 · · · Chapter 2: Ponyville ·
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Splintered Lance, one of the many of your amazing OCs. :rainbowdetermined2: I can't wait to see what his backstory is! :pinkiehappy:

Rainbow_Crash92
Rainbow_Crash92 #19 · Apr 9th, 2013 · · · Chapter 2: Ponyville ·
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Good story so far, but one problem: every time Shining's name shows up in the story, you spell it like "Shinning". Still, I like your OC, and keep up the good work!

huntinguy
huntinguy #21 · Apr 9th, 2013 · · · Chapter 2: Ponyville ·
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Can't wait to hear the back story on the changelings. :yay:

Silentpegasus
Silentpegasus #22 · Apr 9th, 2013 · · · Chapter 2: Ponyville ·
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2397849 You are gonna regret that post when the time comes.:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

Jman796
Jman796 #23 · Apr 9th, 2013 · · · Chapter 2: Ponyville ·
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Is he like USMC Force Recon or somthing?:rainbowhuh:

Shadow Bolt
Shadow Bolt #24 · Apr 9th, 2013 · · · Chapter 2: Ponyville ·
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Oh you another chapter of Stolen Apples is out, Lets give a review shall we:

Shinning mentioned that Twilight had a dragon assistant.

It's Shining.

Before we go any further how about we get a little back round on you.” Twilight said in a stern voice.

Background

“Invisibility.” He said as his body vanished from their sight. “This is my personal favorite, allows me to sneak around without being noticed.”

:rainbowlaugh: So let me get this straight, he can turn invisible:rainbowlaugh:, he's staying at Rarity's place:rainbowlaugh:, He's eventually going to fall in love with her:rainbowlaugh:, And his duties is to watch over them and protect them(especially Rarity).:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: Quick somepony put on some Clay Aiken because I'll be laughing my ass off when this scene happens.

“On it.” The dragon said as he breathed a ball of green flames that enveloped the parchment.

“I’m sure Celestia will be able to explain” Twilight was cut off as Spike burped up a rolled piece of parchment.

How could Celestia respond with that letter in just 5 seconds?

A suit of armor appeared on the mannequin. Rarity inspected the armor with a raised eyebrow. The armor was deep red with white trim.

Just something, I decided to do.
i16.photobucket.com/albums/b6/Shadow0666/Lance_zps98ef29a7.png

“I don’t drink while I’m on duty.” He said as he looked at the mare.

I'm guessing it his duty is 24/7 since he has to protect 6 mares. So that means he's always on duty and will never be able to drink:twilightoops:.*end of review*

Well this was an entertaining chapter. I feel Lances personality is too close to Shining Shields and it makes me laugh that he'll be working with Applejack just like Gear Grinder did. You need to work on not repeating yourself with this story.

Silentpegasus
Silentpegasus #25 · Apr 9th, 2013 · · · Chapter 2: Ponyville ·
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2399404 Don't worry there are major differences between them.:ajsmug: AWESOME PIC!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Kickback
Kickback #26 · Apr 10th, 2013 · · · Chapter 2: Ponyville ·
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Oh no...HE'S SO STOIC!!!:pinkiegasp::raritycry: MR. LANCE!! DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE!!:flutterrage:...:rainbowlaugh: just kidding, I'm very intrigued:pinkiehappy:

Dimiein
Dimiein #27 · May 25th, 2013 · · · Chapter 3: Apples and Oranges ·
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finally this story gets some attention:twilightsmile:

Shadow Bolt
Shadow Bolt #28 · May 25th, 2013 · · · Chapter 3: Apples and Oranges ·
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About time this one came back from the shadows, so lets review the latest chapter of Crazy Hearts:

I liked Lance's flashbacks.

Since Lance is a unicorn, why doesn't he use his magic to pick the apples?(Twilight did it in episode 4.)

“Yeah, like I said I get shipped around a lot.”

It's a shame this wasn't a harem fic, otherwise that line would have been hilarious.

The stallion levitated a book over to him and read the title. ‘Pegasi and Demons.’

I think the books and the movies are overrated:ajbemused:(just like Tom Hanks)

The whole scene with Aloe and her ex seems familiar.(Now where have I seen this hmmmmm:duck:(being sarcastic by the way))

“What the hell?” The stallion aid as he looked around the room. The Pegasus felt something collide with his face. “Where are you?” The stallion yelled.

“Here.”

I'M BATMAN

“Wait!” Lotus yelled. “Who are you?”

“Just a stallion who likes helping ponies.”

This line also sounds familiar, but I don't remember where it's from.*end of review*

Well this was an exciting chapter. It's great that were learning about Lance's past, but it still raises questions(Does anypony else thinks that Lance and Midnight were a couple back then?(Was she a changeling in disguise?:pinkiegasp:))

Comment posted by Lazy Moose deleted Aug 5th, 2014
Kickback
Kickback #31 · Jun 4th, 2013 · · · Chapter 3: Apples and Oranges ·
Reply

"Wait, who are you?"
"You know who I am"
"I do?"
"Your friendly neighbourhood Spidermane!"
:pinkiecrazy:
In all seriousness, good development :twilightsmile:
Nice plot and great character design :pinkiehappy:

spetsnaz pinkie pie
spetsnaz pinkie pie #32 · Jun 29th, 2013 · · · Chapter 4: Cutie Marks ·
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Who couldn't miss that airplane reference.

Damn you Shirley!!!

spetsnaz pinkie pie
spetsnaz pinkie pie #33 · Jun 29th, 2013 · · · Chapter 4: Cutie Marks ·
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Who couldn't miss that airplane reference.

Damn you Shirley!!!

Kickback
Kickback #35 · Jun 29th, 2013 · · · Chapter 4: Cutie Marks ·
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The hard life on the inside, yo :duck:
Anyway, sick as chapter:pinkiehappy:

Shadow Bolt
Shadow Bolt #36 · Jun 29th, 2013 · · · Chapter 4: Cutie Marks ·
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Got the reference:pinkiehappy:(poor Leslie Nielsen, he will be missed:fluttershyouch::ajsleepy:), Just going to point out a few things:

The Sargent from earlier trotted in front of the squads and looked them over.

:facehoof:Sergeant:facehoof::facehoof:(noticing lately that you get one word wrong in ever chapter of you stories so far.)

“What are.....Don’t you dare!” The mare yelled as the white stallion jumped causing the mare to let go of his neck. Lance spun in mid jump and gripped the mare’s tail between his teeth. He whipped his head to the side and let go of Midnight’s tail making her fly towards the finish line. As she crossed it, she felt Shining catch her. Causing him to fall onto his back.

Is this where Shining Armor learned how to throw ponies?(Lets hope Cadance never finds out.)

“When you grow up on an orange farm you tend to learn a few things.” He said with a smile. The mare then eyed his Cutie Mark which was a pair of crossed swords with an orange in between them.

Just something I whipped up. *That is all*
i16.photobucket.com/albums/b6/Shadow0666/CMcopy_zps7f2ea9d3.png

Onyxfire408
Onyxfire408 #37 · Jun 29th, 2013 · · · Chapter 4: Cutie Marks ·
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Awesome chapter, I love this. Maybe some army humor could help, y'know like those pranks they do in the army or something.:rainbowlaugh:

Silentpegasus
Silentpegasus #38 · Jun 29th, 2013 · · · Chapter 4: Cutie Marks ·
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2794556 Excellent Cutie Mark. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy: Only the orange is supposed to be in front of the crossd swords.

Silentpegasus
Silentpegasus #39 · Jun 29th, 2013 · · · Chapter 4: Cutie Marks ·
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2794592 Oh trust me. shenanigans will occur.:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

huntinguy
huntinguy #42 · Jun 29th, 2013 · · · Chapter 4: Cutie Marks ·
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I don't know why but when he told what his cutie mark is I just laughed thinking about how weird it is to have an orange with swords as a cutie mark

Shadow Bolt
Shadow Bolt #44 · Jul 6th, 2013 · · · Chapter 5: The Challenge ·
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“Honey stop it.” The white stallion said with a grunt.

“Oh calm down Touchdown. Our daughter is an adult.” Rarity rubbed her temples trying to calm herself down.

:facehoof::facehoof::facehoof: You should really do some research before posting. Rarity's dads name is Magnum.

Let me clear this up for both of you. There is nothing, I repeat, nothing between Lance and I.” She said with a blush on her face.

“Who are you trying to convince? Us or yourself?” Sweetie said with a giggle. The fashionista turned towards her sister with a twitching eye lid. “I’ll.....just.....go and see how Lance is doing.”

derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTIvMDkvMDQvMTFfNDNfMjlfNjc0Xzg5ODMzX19VTk9QVF9fIl1d/89833__safe_rarity_animated_glasses_eye-twitch.gif

“Are you nuts? That story was awesome!” Scootaloo said with a smile. “Got anymore?”

“Well...” He said as the three gave him the puppy dog eyes. “Oh no, that won’t work on me. My sisters used it on me all the time.” He said in a flat tone.

fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/113/c/4/irressistable_cutie_mark_crusaders__comic_commish_by_yampuff-d62r859.png

He eyes snapped open and she ran towards he calendar. She scanned the days until she came to a date with a big red circle marked on it. Her heat cycle had just started.

Uh oh, I smell trouble.(get it?)*end of review*

Well this was informative chapter and it left a pretty good cliffhanger:raritywink:(Now I want to read the next chapter to see what happens next.:raritydespair:)

JDPrime22
JDPrime22 #45 · Jul 6th, 2013 · · · Chapter 5: The Challenge ·
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YES! YES!!!! HEAT CYCLE!!! :raritycry: :raritydespair:

Silentpegasus
Silentpegasus #47 · Jul 11th, 2013 · · · Chapter 5: The Challenge ·
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2830687 Sorry didn't know that his name was Magnum. Rarity's expression is more of an anger twitch than a nervous one.
"I smell trouble." LOL

Shadow Bolt
Shadow Bolt #48 · Jul 11th, 2013 · · · Chapter 5: The Challenge ·
Reply

2856543
*whistles* been almost a week since I made that comment and your just responding.:rainbowderp:(well at-least your not ignoring me anymore.:twistnerd:)

Silentpegasus
Silentpegasus #49 · Jul 11th, 2013 · · · Chapter 5: The Challenge ·
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2856761 Sorry just been tired from work on top of summer classes I need to take.:facehoof:

cloppenheimer
cloppenheimer #50 · Jul 14th, 2013 · · · Chapter 5: The Challenge ·
Reply

Just about to start reading this, and I noticed something.
That's not how you spell "Shining" :twilightoops:

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