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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I think there's a problem with formatting. Most of the chapter has italics that I'm not sure was intended.
Well, Cheerilee gave birth to a futa? That's...something.
Great chapter however I think you messed up with the italics.
Uh, dude you messed up on the itatliacs up at the beginning there. it's [ then / then i and finally ]
remove the italics
I LOVED this Chapter ^^ I love the Filly ^^ Sunny Days AWAY!!!!!
Those italics! MY EYES!
great story, Sunny sounds like an adorable filly.
dude, what up with the odd font?
Awesome chapter!!
So many reveals!!
If Sunny really does mature quickly that's going to have so many awesome possibilities
“I am unaware whether or not you brother has-”
LMAO! Celestia you evil evil mare XD
Try not to brake our poor Twi's brain
I write off the cuff for every chapter, it's the only way I can write. I have a basic idea of where I want the story to go and a few major events along the way but everything else is strictly ad lib. and if this is what you come up with using no outline then please continue doing so.
psst
need to fix that runaway italic
BACK TO READING NOW!
Nice chapter, nice Greek/Roman mythology input too.
Why's half the chapter in italics?
........ Well that was certainly......unexpected. So we got the reveal of the new baby, her name is of course adorable, and she's has some extra equipment, and she's pseudo immortal. Now we know Twi was an alicorn, and even the middle sister. Also Cadance and Shining may be into wayyyyy kinkier stuff than we previously imagined......
But enough about all this let's get to what was the greatest part of the chapter: Trixie and Sunny's relationship, which is something I desperately wanted to see and I got delivered, I loved, loved, LOVED how loving and protective Trixie was of Sunny, I knew once the filly was actually born she'd grow attached and it would help with her jealousy and insecurity.
Only problem now is where is Spike? I figured he'd be back in time for his sister's birth....but then again she did come about two months early.
Cannot wait to see what's next. Though I do hope the pace will slow down a tad to let us enjoy the babies.
i see what you did there
Good!
broken italics
Comma
They
oopsie
Missing the opening quote
I suggest using the italics button
Also, fix the author's notes, too.
Came. You have earned your upvote back.
not sure if you knew this, or someone might have mentioned it earlier. horses are pregnant for 11 months and not the usual 9 we have. i apologize if you already know this.
Droppin' tags on us there, Wrabbit ;)
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encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSkwB2LxAQURjgomDixoIKPsfyNC1TyNbDLgvvfdh191s7f4jFPDQ
I should be drug out into the street and shot for that image.
Before anything else I gotta do this.
fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/092/6/a/sea_ponies_by_palestorm-d4upxl7.jpg
Now that that's outta the way, awesome chapter. Sunny Days already sounds like she's gonna be a cool filly. Any who, till next time.
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MFW I see 24 comments in under 2 hours, then realize that most of them are to inform me of a formatting error. Apparently, adding tags while you're writing rather than doing it after you upload the story carries it's own risk. I am a doofus. If you wish to throw rotten tomatoes at me, there's a cart full of them to the right as you walk in, free of charge.
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She's only the first of many to come.
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That's the hope. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Sweetie_happy.png
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Sunny's going to be... interesting //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia_O_O.png
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It does make for a nicely organic kind of story; but I pay for it later with plot lines that end up going nowhere, plot holes, and general frustration. My next story will have a basic outline at the very least. Maybe then, I can avoid certain flubs like in this one. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Fluttershy.png
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A shame I couldn't use the real Scylla.
i38.photobucket.com/albums/e132/whiterabbit75/31035620-20GENZOMAN20Greek_Mytholog_zps7287e9c5.png
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Don't worry. She won't die alone.
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It helps that Half of Sunny is Twilight. That goes a long way to strengthening their bond. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png
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And I am not ashamed. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Derpy_dealwithit.png
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Thank you kindly!
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Fixed. I just knew that would make your day. Just wait until she grows up some. I got plans for that little filly. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Cloudchaser_dealwithit.png
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Shoot. I went a researched this topic specifically, and I still messed up the numbers when it came time to write this. I'll fix it. Man, I'm really pulling a lot of Homer's lately. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia_plot.png
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I'll let it slide, just on the novelty of the image. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia_chair.png
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I'll let it go, only because I was never into MLP when seaponies were a thing, but watch yourself. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia2.png
2758804 i wanna see SpitLight child... i think that one will be awesome
2758804
'picks up a tomato, looks at it a bit ' i think i'd rather eat it 'takes a large bite.' OH! they're fresh!
2758804 Actually, I add all of my formatting tags while I write. I've taught myself to do so, so that I wont have to go back and search for places said tags are supposed to go.
Anyway, awesome chapter as always and am eager for more.
the twi part in the middle, after the dream, what? maybe it seems off due to the runaway italics, but she shouldn't be nursing a foal yet, she's still pregnant with her own... 'least as i understand wetnursing don't work that way, but i haven't really looked into it any to be honest
ok, it's fixed now, going back over to see where italics were intended and such
Oh god. The adorable...cannot...process it... *Blue Screens*
so i take you didn't like the season 3 finale?
Okay, so you are totally disregarding canon on how Alicorns are made. Not sure how I feel about that really, but then again I'm a canon purist.
Aww, that cute (futa o_O) filly, though as mentioned a few times before you kinda messed up with the italics
More new characters? You got the most interesting OC's!
And what is up with that past that Twi keeps dreaming, so many questions, such a good story, keep it up!
I'm just wondering how long it will be before Spitfire feels really left out of it. Poor girl. Sure, she's got to think about her career, but she's got to be pining pretty badly for a foal of her own.
Also, is Fluttershy wanting Mrs Sparkle to perform a certain spell, or is the nature of her visit of a more romantic objective. After all, I don't remember seeing anything about other ponies joining an already formed herd. That's complete speculation and I wouldn't particularly want it to happen, but I wouldn't be surprised if some other ponies were looking for a bit of Twilight.
this line made the whole chapter 20% cooler
That was great chapter Poor Twilight with her dreams I guess she is related to Celestia and Luna which is quite cool Also Sunny Days is a great name and I'm pleasantly surprised on how special she is hopefully Celestia can teach her that spell before she goes to school Cause if she doesn't you know how kids can be to others that are different from the norm I can't wait to see what is bothering Fluttershy and why she had to talk with Twilight directly but I guess that will have to wait I WANT MOAR SOON If that is alright with you
So it looks like that aside from Sunny Days we are looking at 10-11 month pregnancies. For mammals in general its recommended for about two years between pregnancies for the mother's health. Given how by the book she is and how anxious she can get I assume Twilight will insist on that. Assuming fifteen years of healthy fertility that's five pregnancies apiece as the ceiling.
Somehow I expect this herd to hit right up to that limit for 20ish foals with things like twins and triplets being the wild-cards.
A futa filly: A+
Vague memory flash back: A- (because I hate being teased!)
Cheerliee's threat to Twilight about twin foals: A++ (rofl)
And with that I'll leave with a question. You got Fluttershy knocked up by Luna didn't ya Wrabbit...?
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She'll be along in a few chapters or so.
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I thought they were rotten...
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I don't use Google.docs. I write in Open Office, adding the appropriate tags as I go, then copy/paste to FiMFiction. I've heard too many horror stories about how this place chews up Google.docs.
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As do I. I used to copy/paste from Open Office then search through the chapter to add the tags, but around halfway through I Would Do Anything for Love, I started doing it there instead. Much easier, even if I do occasionally mess up.
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Generally, mammals begin to lactate when they get close to delivering. This can be jump-started if they nurse while pregnant. All four mares (well, three, since Spitfire isn't pregnant nor lactating) are sharing nursing duties so they can keep a nice figure, and the foals won't run out of milk.
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You're the first of many. I nearly shed a tear writing the lullaby scene. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Redheart_shh.png
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I didn't care for S3E13, but it was mainly because the episode felt rushed, and the dresses were horrendous. Seriously, Twilight looked like her dress was only half finished. I didn't mind the alicornification at all. I could see how they built up to it, and it fit nicely. My problem with the episode was mostly stylistic.
That being said, I didn't follow season 3 canon because I had this route planned out since about chapter 5 or 6 of TSW, which predates all of season 3 by quite a lot. I don't intend to change where my story is going just to fit canon, because the moment any pony showed a romantic interest in Twilight (let alone another mare), I departed from series canon. If you want to call it AU, that's fine, but remember that probably 90% of the fics out there (especially those with the romance tag, and all of the crossover and human tagged ones) are not canon.
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The past is coming to the fore, so to speak. I can already taste the epic prequel I got planned...
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I'm glad someone liked it. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Derpy_dealwithit.png
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Don't worry. Fluttershy won't die alone.However, she wasn't coming to Twilight for loving. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Fluttershy_lolface.png
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Just going by what I've seen of deliveries on TV. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png
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I hope you weren't too disappointed about Celestia not joining the herd.
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That's a lot of foals. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_TwilightWut.png
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If you add up all the dreams, the trend becomes clearer. Don't worry. more pieces to the puzzle will make it plain. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Cloudchaser_dealwithit.png
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//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png
2761973 yay... i cant wait for Twi to give birth...
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NO U DEAL WITH IT LYRA!
Dash, go to bed, you're drunk.
This makes me sad. But truthfully speaking, I wasn't seriously expecting it to happen, so the disappointment that I feel is minimal. I'll just have to go looking elsewhere for delicious Twilestia goodness.
All that stuff aside, Sunny Day's unique condition was rather unexpected, but it fits, considering Twilight's little spell. Throw in Celestia's admission/revelation and it makes perfect sense. Also, Shining Armor and Mi Amore Cadenza? ROFL. Especially Twilight's reaction.
There are some thing that you do not want to know about your family. Ever. That would be one of them.
Twilight's dreams seem to imply that she is the mystery Alicorn, which would tie in nicely with her canonical alicornification (and I still do not understand all the intense butthurt and nerdrage about it), which may open up a whole new can of worms to deal with. I do not have a problem with that.
Keep up the good work!
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I just want Twilight to pull a Ghengis Khan and say a few centuries from now half of Equestria can trace its lineage back to her.
I would recommend having some kind of indicator that a time-skip has happened, as it makes it a bit jarring to see the baby being born right after the honey-moon scene. It took me a minute to realize that the story had jumped ahead a few months. Not the first time this has happened either.
Okay, turning off editor mode now.
Behold! The futa-child! Mighty shall be her sex-life! (Oh gawd, that was so horribly inappropriate. My only excuse is that Celly said the same thing. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png )
Celly, tell Twilight things!
So, past Twi incarnation was one of the sisters then. Hoo boy. I thought shit was complicated already.
Heh, that line about not being able to just grow into an alicorn. Evidently Tia hasn't seen Magical Mystery Cure yet.
Okay, something has been bugging me about this chapter for awhile and I finally nailed it down!
If we have a time skip or two this chapter, judging by the actual birth and Sunny's development, what has happened to Golden Bit? Given how his plans seemed to be progressing, I thought he would have tried something over these last few months; that and I think most of us are waiting to see the sleaze ball go SPLAT!
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Patience, Grasshopper. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png
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To each, his own. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png
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Yes, Dash. Go to bed. Drunk Dash is not good Dash.
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Like I told others, I had no problem with the alicornification itself, only the execution of the episode. It felt rushed and the dresses were hideous. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Rarity.png
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Considering where me muse is taking this story, that's a definite possibility.
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I put indicators of how much time has passed in dialogue and narration, but I guess a time stamp might help. I just have to come up with one that doesn't make me think that I'm writing an episode of 24. As for complicated, you ain't seen nothin' yet. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Octavia_chair.png
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I'm mulling over what sort of time stamps to use (or even if any ever will be used), so please don't worry too much over them. At worst, I'll put it in the previous chapter's author's notes that a time skip is coming up. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Derpy_dealwithit.png
Okay, i'm a bit behind but I got a few things to ask about this chapter.
1. What was Velvet's relationship to Vintage Fields?
2. Why was Celestia so concerned about the foal appearing as her?
3. Why the hell have you not written a clop chapter/side fic about the sea ponies from that freakshow and their husband yet?
HA!! You hear that Hasbro? Straight from the princess that your little Twilicorn stunt is impossible! And these dreams again... weird stuff. Seems that Twilight was definitely an alicorn at some point in her life. Scylla... when you first introduced her I knew that name sounded familiar, but when you gave us Charybdis as well I knew for sure where they were from. Kind of neat to see that they're normal here and not murderous creatures... right?
~SolidFire
Commence read.
An interesting encounter, though shall it be reoccurring?
Yeaaah....But then Hasbro went and blew up that statement.
Commence the cuteness!! Damn all torpedoes and full steam ahead!!
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First of all, there's nothing wrong with alicorn Twilight. Secondly, from what Faust has said, that was the plan from the beginning, which is why Magical Mystery Cure feels like a series end episode than a season end episode. Honestly, I really don't get why bronies hate Alicorn Twilight so much. I happen to think she should have been made an alicorn from the beginning, as it fits her character better.