• Member Since 28th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen March 21st

GeodesicDragon


I'm a Scotsman who likes to write stories, not all of which are of the self-insert variety. (Discord Server)

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Scootaloo is a changeling separated from the Hive. She's always been one, and nopony suspected a thing. After a hard day of Crusading she goes for her secret cider stash, but has a few too many and is promptly discovered.

Brought before Princess Twilight Sparkle the changeling tells her story, and shares her fears that Chrysalis may send her minions to drag her back. Twilight offers Scootaloo a chance to start a new life. But she has to sacrifice her old one first, which means saying goodbye to two of her closest friends...

AUTHOR'S NOTES

A lot of the fics I've seen in the featured box lately have involved Changelings, cider, Princess Twilight or Scootaloo. Oh, and Pokémon. So I decided to write a story which used all of them.

Cover Art: Scootaloo vector created by OTfor2 on DeviantArt. I just added the text.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 11 )

Loved it! Will definetely keep track of this! :pinkiehappy:

2101574

Oh, it's actually a one-shot. I just forgot to mark it as Complete. :facehoof:

Tim

Somehow the dialogues and the way the story progressed felt... forced.
But it made me laugh, and that's always a good thing :moustache:

Well color me confused. how would Scootaloo getting a new body save her friends the story even says that if the hive cant find Scoots they would target her friends doesn't this put them in more danger. Also how would the Changlings know about Scoots being the Changling the impression I got was only AJ and the guards seen her.

2115454

1) It's a fanfic, it doesn't have to make sense. :twilightsmile:
2) There's an AU tag on it for a reason. :pinkiesmile:
3) You seem to be the only person who doesn't get it. :rainbowkiss:

2115871

Correction a fanfic doesn't have to follow canon but it should still make sense. even in an alternate universe it should still make sense. changing Scootaloo's body does nothing to solve the problem. also why does Twilight need to do it when a Changling can change at will. there's just so many contradicting lines in this that the story overall doesn't make sense. Not saying your a bad writer or the idea of the story is bad I just feel that you should put more detail in the story and explain why Twilight has to be the one to change her form? and how the Changlings know what Scootaloo looks like? and how Scootaloo leaving would save the crusaders when if the Changlings already know about Scoots and she changed bodies would just cause them to go after the other Crusaders because they can't find her?

Let's see... you've got:
1: A problem that shouldn't be a problem.
2: A solution that doesn't solve anything.
3: "And then Scootaloo was a Pokemon." Total non sequitur ending.

This story fails on the basics of storytelling. It also includes my all-time least favorite plot point: the total identity wipe. How, exactly, is this any better than killing her?

so scootaloo the flightless Pegasus becomes a torchic yet another flightless creature?

2261463 Agreed. Not the best I have read, I mean, there was a couple times I liked what I was reading, but then it kept mentioning 'the way out' Total memory loss as well as all connections to the previous personality and body is essentially killing her, there is more than one way to die after all without physically dying.:yay:

4091639
2261463

I wrote this at a time when stories featuring Changelings, cider, Princess Twilight, Scootaloo and Pokémon were dominating the featured box. So I decided to write a story which used all of them. Granted, I could have done so a little better — but I wasn't really aiming for anything spectacular.

the ending was a little weird, and the plot was a bit confusing, but overall a good story.:twilightsmile:

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