• Member Since 28th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen February 18th

GeodesicDragon


I'm a Scotsman who likes to write stories, not all of which are of the self-insert variety. (Discord Server)

E
Source

Princess Celestia has forgotten something. Something important.

But what the hell is it?

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 50 )

Hmm. Short, sweet-ish. It's a fic alright! Uh, really nothing much to say. Maybe more descriptions? I got nothing, sorry. It's good the way it is. Thumbs.

That is adorable.

It was short, but I liked it. :twilightsmile:

It has no nose, but I must beep.

Very nice. Write on! :twilightsmile:

Funny, halfway through reading, I thought jokingly to myself, "You left filly Twilight snoozing in the dumbwaiter!"

Close enough. :twilightsmile:

lol Longest time-out evar! :twilightoops: Poor Twilight. :facehoof:

Thanks for the kind words so far, everyone! :twilightsmile:

Dat time-out. :trollestia:

Twilight's lucky she's mortal. Her sister got a thousand-year time-out! :pinkiegasp:

Reading this, I find myself aflame with curiosity...

What the buck did Twilight /do/?

That was just so damn sweet! :rainbowkiss:

AWESOME :pinkiehappy:

We do live readings every week. Want something read? Make a suggestion and we might take it ^^.

This story was excellent btw. Pretty funny. Silly Luna and Celestia stories are very popular for good reason.

Hope you all enjoy,
The Living Library Player Society

What the frikkin heck, Celestia!? How in the name of Mary's left nipple did you manage to forget about Twilight?! You *****! I should punch you in the face!

HA! I loved it! It reminded me of an episode of Malcolm in the Middle where they did the same to Dewey :rainbowlaugh:

Reminds me of a bit in one episode of Malcolm in the Middle. If Twilight plays her cards right, Celestia will be sufficient horrified and penitent that she would do anything once to gain forgiveness... :pinkiehappy:

Holy fuck, 78 likes and not a single dislike! Fucking baws!

2335316

Because everyone likes cute stories involving a filly Twilight Sparkle.

Also, now that you've said that, someone is gonna dislike this story.

2338422 Downvoted due to spoilers.

:trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:

Edit: :twilightoops: Oops, hit the wrong thumb. :facehoof: Oh well, it's not like I can change it now, huh? :unsuresweetie:

1775141 No, you should punch her face, in the faaace!

You want to hear something incredible? Something too ridiculous to believe? This actually happened to me. My mother told me that when I was little, she sent me to the corner for something. She can't remember for what anymore; I was a real brat back then. She forgot I was there and I fell into a deep sleep in that same corner. She said she later looked everywhere for me. She started to get worried, ran around outside calling my name. When I didn't respond, she called the police. Just as the police were about to head out to look for me she finally found me still in the corner. She was very relieved, mad, and embarrassed at the same time. Can't remember if she ever put me in time out again after that....

This story sucks as much as a non-working vacuum.

2462448

You had me going for a moment there. I actually thought that was an insult before I read it again. :facehoof:

Aw, poor Twilight :twilightsmile: Quick, cute read. Nice work!

Well, this just squeaked in over the 1000 word minimum. It's more like a really long joke with a punchline than a "story". Kind of like "The Regalia". I enjoyed that back when I read it. I didn't really know what fics could be back then though.

So, cool joke, but so insubstantial that I don't know what to say about it. I also can't really imagine this actually happening. Eh. Apathy-vote. :eeyup:

I do like it, even though it definately feels like a thirty minute challenge story. Either way, it was fun and quaint.
Liked and faved.

2462448
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2604-Luna_saw_what_you_did_there.jpg

An interesting read for sure. However, I'm not sure I appreciate your blog comment which caused me to look at this to begin with. Everyone gets a thumbs down be it for one reason or another, and why you would take such offense to it compared to your 140+ upvotes, I'll never know.

I was speculative of this at first, if anything because of the over-paragraphing of your lines caused my head to hurt. For example, making a separate paragraph for one character's speech when it is still under their point of view;


"What could it be?" she muttered to herself.

She trotted back into the throne room as a guard appeared.
...
Horsepower looked at the Princess with a raised eyebrow.

"Nowhere else?" he said, making a circular motion with his hoof. Celestia looked at him blankly.


That's just the one gripe, though, but i'm a bit disappointed that this story was so short for what it is and, as such, lacks much of the depth and flow of what I would personally call compelling reading-- the characters don't stand out as much as I would have liked (though I liked Flour Pot's portrayal) and the story seemed to go too fast and do so little as Celestia moved from one place to another.

However! However, the ending was most definitely its saving grace. In fact, it's the only reason why I'm not the second person to give it a thumbs down. When you get past the rest of the story, you understand what it all surmounts to, and you can't help but feel the attraction of this story. It's just a huge shame that--in my opinion-- it's short and fast-paced. It's kind of like how people say Final Fantasy 13 is a great game 30 hours in.

I think it all sums up with this; I don't believe a story that's only a thousand or so words can be compelling, because with little words comes the price of little development, depth and description. Now, I like the story, obviously, or in the very least I had a good read, otherwise I wouldn't be using my time critiquing it the way I am now. But there's so much of it that I'm not happy with to which I cannot offer it a thumbs up, but neither can I thumbs it down.

Congrats on the most popular list... 5 months after! :D

2512210

I took offence because the person who downvoted it didn't have the guts to explain why. It pisses me off when people do that, for reasons I have stated ad naseum.

Thanks for pointing out the mistakes. I have always believed that a new paragraph is required for new actions as well as new speech. Nobody else has complained, so I won't be changing it.

And it's short because it's meant to have been written in under 30 minutes.

2512663

Thanks! :twilightsmile:

2516855

Response to the 'Cons' you pointed out:

1/ Slightly unnatural dialogue e.g. "Nothing here either!" she said out loud. "I'll try the kitchen." Would Celestia really narrate her own actions to herself?

You mean you've never said stuff like this when you're looking for or trying to remember something?

2/ Paragraphs are too short. I realise this is a very short fic but, without fuller paragraphs, it's difficult to get absorbed into the story.

That kind of defeats the purpose of a thirty-minute story. Longer paragraphs take longer to write.

3/ Occasional, noticeable repetition e.g. “down the hall into a large room. In the middle of it was a large circular table.”

I try not to do that any more.

As for your request to read your story, I'd much rather review Dashing Do and the Unobtainable Item as I don't have time to read the Riflepony series (because, to be honest, it doesn't appeal to me).

DAAAAAWWW!!!:rainbowkiss: Such a cute ending! Didn't realize at first that Twilight was in the naughty corner until I saw Feather Scratch's comment.
Great slice of life story that takes place shortly (relatively speaking) before NMM's escape.:twilightsmile:

aw. Tis is cute. FAV?!:raritystarry::twilightsmile::pinkiehappy::ajsmug::yay:

aww that ending was cute

On the one hand oh my god the dawws. On the other hand....that's just kinda cruel >< Thumb up either way n_n

Haha, that was cute lol! :pinkiehappy:

2511294 it took you 30 minutes to read this

3468719

He means 'thirty minute challenge' in the sense it took me thirty minutes to write (see description).

Imagine filly Twilight sleeping like that. I wish someone would draw a picture of it.
This fic put a smile on my face. Liked and faved. :pinkiehappy:

This made me chuckle and got a fav and a like for the author!

Horse Power? What a cruel name to give your child.

2338422 I dislike that I can't like this a second time! :twilightsmile:

Aw, that was a nice and cute little story. :twilightsmile:

Re-reading this for the fourth time. While a part of me thinks this is super cute. A part of me wonders both why Twilight was in time out, and what happens afterwards.

Still for a oneshot this was pretty adorable.

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