Why would anyone vote this down?

A very endearing story indeed, good show chap.

I love it

bravo good sir! perfect blend of story and clop.....you should consider making more chapters

ya know, if anyon would actually decide to look it up, it wouldnt be hard to remember that derpys condition is called ambliopia (ambleeowpeea)

srsly look it up. it isnt a big word, getur fact right, but other than that, cool story bro. (and not in the meem way)

Fucking fantastic

You're beautiful, you're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face, in a crowded place.
And I don't know what to do.
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Holy crap. Best, longest, oneshot I have read in a long time. Have a like, a watch, and a Derpy.

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I really liked this story. You described Dash's flight excellently in the beginning, and she never fell out of character once. It would be just like her to say "I love you" so soon. Another outstanding moment was the sex scene. For a one-shot, you really brought out he emotion and passion between the two, while still keeping the reader entertained (if you know what I mean).

The only qualm I have is Derpy's quick acceptance of Dash's love. Though I wouldn't know first-hand, I imagine a single mother caring for a young child would be resistant to forming a bond with another after one day.

All in all, wonderful work, and I look forward to any future posts from you.
--Warlord

It was a beautiful story. I just love the fact that Derpy is happy.

Now all we need some good straight Derpy clop and it will all be satifactory! Not that this isn't short of amazing mind you... ;3

I wonder, is there is a term for ponies who go both ways?
Lovely story, I hope dinky can get used to a second mommy.

the feels man.I love it you have to make a continuation this story was amazing.

Commence read.

Nicely done.

Great story, but brownshould have been blues... Elwood

Ha 69th like hahaha ;)
Sometimes having a great imagination really helps you know hehe.... anyway <.< >.> nice read, think im gonna follow you in your endeavours 5/5 from me :D

Derpy x Dash?
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MIKEY LIKEY. A LOT.

WHY MUST THE FEELS COME TO AN END!?!?!?!?!?

the love bit was rather sudden, but all in all an adorable fic

I like what you've done here. The development from undesired acquaintances to lovers felt natural, and the consummation thereof was delightful in that you described the characters' thoughts and feelings in vivid detail rather than just the act itself. My two qualms are punctuation. Stuttering is best represented with a single hyphen, but interruptions are better served with two, and ellipses need to be followed or preceded by spaces.

2088376

Yes, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last 'til the end.

This was sweet. I guess my only problem with it was that Dash didn't stop and check if everything was okay with Derpy, which seems like something she would do. Dash is careful with the ponies she loves, and that little detail came across as kinda sleazy to me. All the same, it was a nicely paced oneshot, and was still overall a very cute thing.

That was fair and beautiful... this Fic is from now on one of my top ten favorites, for ever about MlP FiM Fic's...

Derpy is so lovely in this story.
*thump up + fav + follow*

Fantastic, a heart warming love story expertly blended with steamy clop. Absolutely awesome

2087603 why... why would you do that?? .... what... WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU??!!! oh god.. the feels... so many feels...

this story was so adorable... and sexy and cute!! and sexy... and filled with feels... oh the feels, is the first time a clopfic breaks my heart and stitches it back together with clopping.... fine job good sir

the sheer amount of cuteness is overwhelming.

I think this story deserves a like, fave and a follow.

Story is good!

I have never used this word to describe a fiction that involved any amount of clop...

but damn that was adorable

I loved it. Excellent situations and environment, great pace, and left a decent amount up to imagination.

I wouldnt mind seeing this continue into Dinky finding out, them moving in, etc, etc. But I do also ADORE a good one-shot like this.

It was excellence in fiction form.

Perhaps there's just a little more to this wall-eyed mare than meets the eye....

Yep...because only one of her eyes meet yours. Also, I'm going to guess: Pun not intended?

Thumbs up for the description!

This is one of the few clopfics that took me right in the feels and made me feel the fuzzies. Other than the typical things Derpy might do, you portrayed them as what they really are, and your really good at it. No other fic made me love Derpy more than this story. And for that, I will watch you, even while you sleep.

I even faved this before I read it; the description is so enticing and the cover art really got me. Can you write more like this?

a GLORIOUS read. I really appreciate the back story and character development. I look forward to more of your work.

This story is even better the second time through. A true shipping masterpiece, you sir deserve to be showered with praise. I may not be that big, but I am friends with some people in very high places, and I will be sure to get the word out on this story. Only reason I didn't comment the first time I read it was that I was too tired. Anyway, awesome story, can't wait to see what you do next

Okay, I'm here just because I want to read some Lesbian Derpy clop. You bet your muffins I'm gonna read this!

The burly pegasus trotted over to her, grinning. "Glad I ran inta ya. Listen, I got good news. My boys have been workin' dere flanks off and we finished da work on your house ahead of schedule. It's all done and ready for ya."

FIANLLY, A SCOTTISH PONY! ( I did his voice entirely in Demoman's.)

Strong start but... Got to the fuckin a bit fast. Also makes Dash look super manipulative. Needed some chapters to give it some verisimilitude. Also one instance of sex leads to love? Nope, negative. Not buying it.

Coulda been awesome, needed more story.

Great read I liked the feels and the other "feels" if ya feel me, but I am ashamed of myself. I was actually shocked when Derpy made muffins...

ALL MY DAWWWWWWWWW! LIKED AND FAVED. NEED MORE! Maybe how the relationship grows.

As it has been stated by one or two other readers already, the story had a very strong and believable start. However, as soon as "You're beautiful." appeared, it went down hill fast. I don't mind stories with clop, nor fics with romance. However, stories where there is almost no character development, or extremely fast build ups in character relationships can and will often become monotonous. I won't lie to appease other readers, I was impressed in the beginning, but I face palmed as soon as the clop began. If you had stuck to developing their relationship and saved the clop for a later date, it would have been monumentally better. Lose your house to a pony who wants almost nothing to do with you, then sudden you're eating her out a few hours later? Very rushed.
Now granted there were some very sweet remarkable scenes, such as the muffins, and the nightmare, however as I've stated that could have been used to further the character's development.
You have skills, there's no denying that. With a bit more refining and detailing, this could have been much better.
Overall score- 6/10
Peace-Exodious.

I liked this a lot, though could have done better than jumping straight into sex, but I'm not counting it against you because I have made that same mistake before, though my weakness usually is pacing.

Wonderful job on this. Simply wonderful.

This was definitely different, I have never seen pairing before it was really nice to read and I'm so favoriting this story

Not much of a clop person, but when I heard it had a story, I had to read it. Really good job on the story. Emotions all in tact. Great job.

Once again, she proves that she's the best, most awesome, most adorable pony in Equestria.

Oh, and Dash was pretty awesome, too.

The first three-quarters were nice, though Dash felt quite out of character. Then it was like I was reading a completely different story, some half-assed clop (unlike good clop I try to seek out) and then there are like four sentences at the end to bring me back to the good story.

You don't get a downvote, but this story was very disappointing.

can we have a sequel please? i've read this fic 4 times its so good!

Dawww..