- Member Since 6th Feb, 2013
- offline last seen 6 hours ago
NightStalker
If you're looking for something dirty and thrilling, then welcome to my library~
NightStalker
Joined 6th Feb, 2013 ·
Offline
Sequels1
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NightStalker · 19k words · 182 21 · 7.3k views
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Your stories are always one of the few that I hit the favorite button on before I even start reading. Been WAITING for this!
Near the end a spell is mentioned. I have a guess as to what it will do...
The only thing we're missing is for him to take an actual dick, and although I'd be happy to read the implied mare-dick story to follow this, I'd also like to see a less magical solution. Just a matter of picking the right colt or stallion, given that there are no other canon colts his age.
Maybe Pipsqueak; he's often thought of as younger than the CMC, and I personally wouldn't want to see Pound with a significantly older stallion.
Enjoyable as always, hope to see another chapter/story from this series. =3
Well another amazing chapter your cranked out, be interesting to see the next one.
FULL POUND HAREM INCOING I SEE IT!!!!
once i got to the Dash part this song came to mind...... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HF-qUoQ3eHY
I said "oh my god!" so much times while reading that fiction that I think God put my soul adress in "spam".
personally I dislike all the swearing, it's just a turn off for me. It is still quite good, I just prefer your other stories over this one
8890580
Yeah, I agree. Even though I can see Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo being the vulgar type, it still doesn't make it enjoyable to read. The story itself was good though if you can ignore the sailor mouth.
Two minor errors there. Twice you called Pound a girl. Besides that this was another interesting and fun chapter.
I applaud you for giving this story a cohesive narrative.
In most fanfics of this nature with barely any story to speak of and mostly clop, the narrative is usually bland at best or little more than a bad segway into the next clop scene at worst. With fanfics like these, its the character's personalities that make the story and you definitely gave them personalty!
I'm also impressed with how you managed to bring the reader"back down to earth" as it were when Rainbow Dash said "call the police, there's gonna be a murder in ponyville!" Reminding the reader that in fact, despite his sexual experience, he is still, at heart, a young colt and justifiably thought he should call the police for a few moments there. It was a moment of serenity that reminded me as the reader of his innocence despite him saying not long after the curse words he was told were "bad". XD It was a nice touch!
My only gripe, and this is a personal preference more than anything, is that you made them excessively curse. While this can be a character trait, it was used in such excess by both characters that it felt like a "word crutch" to fill in the blanks for character personality rather than a personalty trait at times.
That said, it was a fun read! Though I'm sure most read this slapping their meat/jamming two or more fingers between their legs, I enjoy these kinds of stories for other reasons.
9446704
I knew I recognized your name. PenPalsIsSoGood~
One thing readers should know about me is that I never censor myself. I'm not saying that in reference to covering up swear words, but rather that I don't change things just for someone else's convenience. The sailor mouths on Scootaloo and especially Rainbow Dash felt like they legitimately belonged on hotheaded wild style characters like them, and it felt to me like this is how they might actually behave if the TV show were not for all ages. Clearly this didn't go over so well with many readers, but that's what I mean about censoring myself. That was my vision and I put it on paper.
(This was more a general message to all commenters, but your comment sort of brought it out of me)
Thanks so much for your other words of praise. It honestly is a little disappointing sometimes to see the diminishing returns on these stories, after the first two were so wildly successful, but it is great to know at least somebody still really enjoys them. Maintaining Pound's innocence, or what is left of it, has always been a bit of a challenge once beyond the first story, so I'm glad I was able to do that here. The fifth story is brewing in my brain, so I'll try my best to keep that going.
Thanks for a comment that made me smile.
9446899
haha glad you enjoyed pen pals ever so often I'll pop out a huge success but most of my stories go under the radar sadly.
And yes, I do understand the need to write without restraints. I'm a free spirited writer myself but if I may make a suggestion, There is an unofficial equestrian swear language dictionary that I tend to use when I write characters swearing in my stories(it really helps with the immersion too!) and I have had one character who swore a ton too but I believe it went over much better due to the fact that I was able to quickly establish that these were "curse words" but native to their universe.
I'll give you a few examples to give you an idea of what I'm talking about:
Buck, bucking, bucker- Fuck, fucking, fucker
Horseapples- A catch all swear word for shit, damn, and fuck but can be used differently depending on the situation.
Mule- and insult that is akin to calling a woman a "Bitch" or insulting a male with similar offensive wording.
Foalhole- A substitute for Pussy,cunt, clit.
Celestia's/Luna's teats! - a curse phrase similar to what one may say in response to a shocking situation or if caught by surprise.
You're full of Pony Manure! - An alternate phrase for saying "You're full of shit!"
These are the most common swear phrases and words I use in my stories and as I said, they tend to go over well with many of my readers.
Everyone has their own writing style so if these words and phrases don't suit your writing style you don't need to use them. 
I just thought I'd offer a more receptive alternative.
Did mention long ago of him helping Cheerilee out?
Anyone else want to see this