Chapter 3
Bell, Book & Candle
Chapter 3
Bellbray was trapped, like a rabbit in the jaws of a timber wolf. His back legs were bound tightly, and he couldn’t move his head more than a few inches without sending stabbing pain through his neck. Tawnyfeather had told him of the ways pegasi interrogated their prisoners. For all the terror such methods evoked, Bellbray thought they could hardly be more torturous than this.
“Sweetie Belle, be a dear, would you? Get me some of the red thread in the top drawer of the sewing cabinet.”
The little white filly, who had been sitting in front of Bellbray and watching his ordeal with fascination, darted out of view.
“Is the work…” The words trailed off as Bellbray tried to draw another breath into his iron-bound lungs. “…going well, Miss Rarity?”
A considering hum answered from behind him, followed by a few moments of silence. “Mmm. Oh. Did you ask something, Bellbray?”
“Is it… going well?”
The drum of hooves announced Sweetie Belle’s return.
“Yes, I suppose so.” Rarity didn’t sound very sure.
Bellbray felt magic humming to life behind him and tensed instinctively. A few of the pins clustered around his left shoulder pierced his hide, drawing little droplets of blood. He pinched his eyes shut and tried to calm himself. The pain was minimal, of course – one could hardly lead an Aubade without a little tolerance for pain – but torture came in many forms.
“Darling!” Rarity harrumphed. “You must stop fidgeting! In all my days I don’t think I’ve ever met a more restless stallion. Now you’ve gone and gotten blood on one of the gussets. Honestly! I’ve had to re-cut three pieces already!” The hum of magic returned, and Bellbray felt his bindings loosen as pins came loose and basting came undone.
“I don’t wish to tell a master her craft, Miss Rarity, but perhaps you could simply make the vest a little less tight?” Bellbray allowed himself a deep breath, his first in nearly a quarter hour, as the thick brown muslin that had bound him floated out of view. “Or could you not spare us both the trouble and use one of those… umm…” He gestured vaguely at the strange pony-shaped objects tucked against the back wall of the boutique.
“They’re called ‘dress forms’,” Sweetie Belle offered helpfully.
“Yes.” Bellbray smiled at the unicorn filly and nodded his thanks. “Could you not perhaps use one of those instead?”
“For a stallion of refinement like you, darling? No no no, it simply wouldn’t do for you to appear tomorrow in anything but the best. Especially not if you’re going to be working wi— That is to say, what would everypony think? You’ve been our guest for nearly a fortnight now. The vest must fit you properly, or I’m liable to lose my reputation as a seamstress.”
As had happened often in the last two weeks, Sweetie Belle was quick to jump to Bellbray’s aid. “But you could still use a dress form, right Rarity?”
The seamstress sighed and shook her head. “No, Sweetie. The forms are only for prêt-à-porter. We never use them for tailored outfits. If I had an adjustable form like they use in Canterlot, perhaps, but I simply can’t fit the pieces properly without the client.”
“But that’s not what you said when you made the gala dresses. And anyway, it’s just another Winter Wrap-up vest. It’s not like it’s really important or anything.”
“Not important?” Rarity gasped. “Not important? Sweetie Belle! Every outfit is important, and even if it weren’t, our Bellbray has to—”
A knock on the door of the boutique interrupted Rarity’s nascent harangue, and the head of a familiar blue unicorn poked inside. Minuette took one look at the scene and her cheeks flushed. “Oh. Hi Rarity, hi Sweetie Belle. I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”
Whatever Rarity had been about to say, she swallowed the words into an unintelligible garble. She steadied herself with a deep breath and turned to the new arrival. “Of course not, Minuette. Please, won’t you come in?”
“I’m a little short on time, actually. I just wanted to talk to Bellbray before I left.”
“Oh?” A note of surprise entered Rarity’s voice. “You’re going somewhere?”
“Yeah. Time Turner just got a letter this morning, from the lead archaeologist up at the—”
Sensing that this might be his best chance to escape from the seamstress, Bellbray plastered a smile on his face and trotted toward the door. “Would you like to take a walk, Miss Minuette? I’m sure we wouldn’t want to bore Miss Rarity and her sister with these sorts of mundane discussions.”
“It’s not mundane, though. It’s really quite exciting!” But Bellbray had already turned Minuette around and prodded her out onto the street in front of the boutique. He reached back with one hoof and pulled the door shut behind him, cutting off the sound of Rarity’s voice. The evening air was crisp with the bracing chill of winter’s last night. Bellbray breathed deeply and savored the momentary rush of freedom.
“Well, Mister Bellbray, if you’re going to insist on interrupting me, perhaps you’d at least be so kind as to tell me where you’d like to go on this walk of yours?” Minuette’s eyes twinkled and she gave him a smile. The smile reminded him of Clover, and the memory prompted a small shiver.
“Ah. Yes. My apologies, Miss Minuette, but I must confess that my primary interest just now was less about taking a walk and more about escaping from Miss Rarity before she could truss me up for another fitting. But please, let me at least do you the service of seeing you safely home.”
Minuette nickered softly. “You really are something, you know? Certified vintage model. I didn’t think they still built stallions like that.”
Bellbray opened his mouth to respond, but after a moment he realized he had nothing to say. Minuette was a nice enough pony, but once or twice a conversation she said the strangest, most incomprehensible things. It seemed better to keep silent than to risk a further demonstration of his ignorance – or worse yet, to give offense to the pony who had shown him the most kindness since his unfortunate arrival.
The Carousel Boutique stood on the south edge of Ponyville. Instead of taking the road into town, Bellbray turned west and began walking behind the last row of houses. Snow still blanketed the ground here, as well as the trees of an enormous orchard stretching away to the left. They strolled through the gathering darkness, and for a while, the only sounds to break the evening’s quiet were those of their hooves cracking the ice-rimed snow.
After a few minutes, Bellbray began to find the silence uncomfortable. “Miss Minuette? I believe you had said you wanted to speak with me about something?”
Minuette sighed. “Yeah, I suppose I did. Sorry, Bellbray. I guess I was just enjoying the quiet.” She stopped and turned, looking back toward the boutique. “But there wasn’t really much more to say. I just wanted to let you know I won’t be here for Winter Wrap-up tomorrow.”
Bellbray turned as well, and paused for a moment before replying. Once again, he had the nagging impression that Minuette was speaking at cross purposes with him. “That’s… um… very kind of you, Miss Minuette. Though I must confess I do not understand why you wanted to inform me in particular. Was there something you wanted me to do for you, while you’re away?”
“Something I wanted you to do for me? No, of course there’s nothi—” Minuette’s voice cut off and she dropped her head, smacking one forehoof against her brow. “Oh Celestia, she didn’t even tell you, did she? I swear, if Rarity doesn’t stop trying to meddle in other ponies’…”
“No, please, Miss Rarity has been nothing but kind and solicitous in the time I’ve been staying with her. If there is a fault of misunderstanding, I assure you, it must be my own.”
Minuette shook her head and muttered something Bellbray couldn’t hear, then turned back to face him. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter now. But Twilight – Twilight Sparkle, she’s in charge of organizing the whole thing – decided it would be good if you were assigned to help me with waking the animals tomorrow. I think she wanted to make sure you… had an easy time fitting in.” Minuette's cheeks colored a little.
She wanted to make sure I had a minder, you mean. She wanted to make sure I didn’t repeat my performance with the pegasus. The thoughts were unseemly and Bellbray did his best to quash them. Instead he said, “Wouldn’t it make more sense to pair me with Miss Rarity or her sister, then? Seeing as we’ve spent the most time together, at this point.”
If anything, Minuette’s blush deepened. “Well, Twilight didn’t have a very good experience working with Rarity last year. What Rarity does is a little… specialized. And the colts and fillies don’t really take part. They’ll still be attending school tomorrow. So I guess I was the next logical choice, right?” Minuette laughed, but it sounded oddly half-hearted.
School. For all colts and fillies, regardless of tribe and regardless of ability. The idea was so alien to Bellbray that he found it easy to forget where Sweetie Belle went most mornings. Almost as alien as this Winter Wrap-up nonsense. Pegasi were responsible for the weather and the seasons. And if, for some reason, a unicorn had to assist them, why, that meant magic. Expecting unicorns to do the same jobs as earth ponies wasn’t just counterintuitive, it was downright inefficient. Bellbray nickered in irritation.
“Hah. Yeah. Dumb idea, I guess. But they’ll pair you with somepony else now. Don’t worry, I’m sure Twilight will figure it out. I’ll just… I guess… I can see myself home from here, if you want to head back to Rarity’s.”
Bellbray blinked, trying to sort through Minuette’s rush of words. After a moment, he understood – he’d let himself be distracted by thoughts of this strange new world, and he’d lost track of the conversation. “Wait. No. I was just thinking about…Ahh, I apologize Miss Minuette. Of course I’ll accompany you the rest of the way. And I’m sure you would have made a wonderful partner. I did not mean to suggest otherwise. But as you said yourself, you and Time Turner have to depart for… that archaeological expedition you’ve been telling me about? The one to the north?”
“Yes! I mean, no. I mean—” Minuette shook her head and resumed the walk back toward her house. “Not exactly. The letter we got from Professor Squareleaf – he’s the pony in charge of the dig team – well, it asked us to go to Canterlot, actually. Or, it asked Time Turner anyway. They’ve found some interesting stuff up north, but they don’t recognize all of it. And since Time Turner’s taken an interest in what they’re doing, Squareleaf figured they might as well ask him if he had any insights. Time Turner isn’t sure about what they’ve found either, but he thinks we might be able to dig something up in the Canterlot Library, and maybe help out with the team’s work.”
“But didn’t you tell me that there’s a library right here in Ponyville?”
“Golden Oaks Library? No, we need an academic library and that’s just a lending library. Or it’s supposed to be, anyway.” Minuette leaned closer and added in a conspiratorial tone, “Twilight doesn’t really like giving them up.”
There are different kinds of libraries? Bellbray wanted to ask Minuette for elaboration, but once again the desire not to look ignorant held his tongue.
They walked in silence the rest of the way to Minuette’s home, Bellbray lost in his thoughts and Minuette seeming to take pleasure in one of her last looks at this year’s winter. A minute further on, the pair turned north and slipped back into Ponyville proper. As they made their way down the last row of houses to Minuette’s door, Bellbray caught sight of the library’s spreading branches further up the road. The windows in the top floor still appeared lit, and he considered for a moment whether he might stop there before returning to Rarity’s boutique. But he rejected the idea quickly, just as he had done every time he thought of visiting the library. Bellbray had no desire to confront the unicorn with those cold magenta eyes.
“Well, this is me.” Minuette pulled up, and it took Bellbray a moment to realize they’d already arrived at her house. “Thanks for walking me back, Bellbray. It was really nice of you.”
Bellbray shook his head. “It was nothing, Miss Minuette. A mare should hardly be asked to walk alone at night.”
Minuette paused in the act of pulling open her door, and turned to give Bellbray a considering look. “Hey, Bellbray, would you do me a favor? Tell Rarity that maybe I don’t mind so much. This time.”
Accustomed as he was to not understanding half of what Minuette said, Bellbray nodded. “I will give Miss Rarity your—”
“No. No, nevermind. Just… thank you, Bellbray. I hope you have a fun time tomorrow.” And with that, she slipped inside and pulled the door shut behind her, leaving Bellbray alone in the cold.
The thought of returning to Rarity’s boutique so soon held little appeal for Bellbray. She would insist on further fittings, he was sure, and he’d had quite enough of those for one evening. Bellbray turned north again, staring at the golden glow coming from the library’s windows. What he wouldn’t give for an hour alone in there. Or even one good book of history. As a colt, he’d been fascinated by Mareodotus’s accounts of the ancient pegasi wars. All the more ancient now, he realized. Those old stories must seem like no more than myths to the ponies of this world.
For nearly a minute, he stood in the cold and stared at the shadowy oak. The tree of knowledge, ruled over by this Twilight Sparkle. Bellbray knew the mien of a unicorn potentate, and if ever a pony were cast from that mold, it was this Twilight. The raw power: brushing aside his magic with barely a thought. The air of command: dictating how the residents of Ponyville were to go about ending winter. And the eccentricity. In all his years, Bellbray had never known of a unicorn with her own private library. Even Minuette seemed to think it outlandish, and she was as close to a unicorn scholar as anypony he’d met in this era. A private library, built in a tree. And according to Rarity and Sweetie Belle, she had a tame dragon to serve her.
Bellbray had met unicorn royalty on numerous occasions, and aside from his master Star Swirl, they were an ugly, grasping bunch. Perhaps this Twilight Sparkle was different. Perhaps. But she conformed to the very worst conventions of her kind, and Bellbray had already earned her ire once. He had no desire to risk another confrontation with her; not when she was so much stronger than he, and certainly not in the center of her power. All the knowledge of that library – so close, and yet so far beyond his reach. Bellbray gave a snort of irritation and turned away once more.
The trek back to the boutique took only a few minutes, and as he walked, the full moon crested the treetops of the forest he’d heard called Everfee. Pale light reflected off the snow, holding back the night a little longer. A chill breeze ruffled his mane and carried the scent of wood smoke from the houses of Ponyville. Off to the southeast, the jagged peak of a lone mountain rose above the…
Bellbray blinked. The mountain. The cave. He stopped in his tracks. He had gotten so caught up in adjusting to this new era that he hadn’t thought about the cave in more than a week. It was still the likeliest place for clues about whatever had happened to him. He needed to get home.
He needed to get home. Clover was waiting for him, and his studies with Star Swirl. And the Aubade. This was not his place, as friendly as it might seem. This could never be his place, without the Aubade.
I’ve been getting complacent, haven’t I? The thought brought a shudder.
The Carousel Boutique was less than twenty yards away, but Bellbray turned his steps southeast, toward the mountain. Its base couldn’t be more than a half-hour walk. Rarity and Sweetie Belle might wonder after him, but he doubted they’d get too worried if he was only gone an hour or two. His memory of the mountain indicated that climbing it would be difficult if not impossible – and pure foolishness to try at night – but he could at least get a closer look at the thing and see if he could piece together a way to get up to the cave.
About a hundred feet from the edge of town, Bellbray passed beyond the edge of the Everfree forest. The whispers of nocturnal animals and the peaty scent of moss and decay closed in around him. After so long in Ponyville, he found the wildness both surprising and refreshing. These ponies had done much to tame the land around them, and yet somehow this forest felt like a relic from Bellbray’s own time, completely unlike the world beyond its borders. He looked back at the lights of Ponyville for a moment, and seeing from the outside for the first time in weeks, those lights seemed stranger to him than all the voices of the forest. Not unwelcome, but unaccountably alien. This world was like some mad dream of Star Swirl’s, beautiful and terrible at the same time.
He turned his back on those lights. The cave called to him, and so he went to it.
As he moved through the forest, the skeletal branches overhead grew denser. But those branches were still leaf-bare and snow-covered, the full moon remained visible from the ground, and Bellbray had no trouble picking his way between the trees. A few minutes on, an awful roar split the quiet of the forest. It came from somewhere to the south – well away from Bellbray’s path – and so he didn’t let it disturb him overmuch. Bellbray had spent enough time in the wilds of the world, traveling on behalf of his master, to have long ago learned the lesson that few creatures were openly aggressive toward ponies. If he didn’t pose a threat to them, it was unlikely that they’d pose one to him.
The forest stretched further than Bellbray had expected, and before long he was sure he’d walked for more than his expected half-hour. The mountain loomed larger, but off to the left the moon now sat more than ten times its height above the horizon. He decided he would give himself another quarter hour before turning back toward Ponyville, and with any luck that would be time enough to reach the base of the mountain and begin looking for a way up.
A sharp crack echoed through the woods, startling Bellbray much more than the roar. It was an alien sound amid the forest’s natural order, and before long a golden glow flickered across the trunks of nearby trees. Fire. And in this cold, with the ground still snow-covered, fire must mean other ponies. Curious, Bellbray turned toward the glow and pushed his way through a tangle of underbrush.
It didn’t take long to find the fire, or the pony who started it. Bellbray caught a glimpse of an azure coat through the lattice of branches, but before he could see more, an authoritative voice boomed out into the forest. A mare’s voice.
“Stop right there! I don’t care what you are, I’m not afraid of you. And I know plenty of magic to defend myself, so just you stay back!”
“My apologies, Miss,” Bellbray called back through the branches. “I merely saw your fire and wondered who else was in these woods this evening.”
The mare didn’t reply, which Bellbray wasn’t sure how to interpret. After standing in silence for a minute, he decided to approach further despite her warnings. Bellbray pushed his way through the remaining scrub until he reached the small clearing where the fire burned fitfully. The mare – a unicorn, but that was to be expected after her threat of magic – watched his approach with wary eyes. Her mane was a few shades lighter than her coat, but both were dirty and unkempt. Not at all like the ponies of Ponyville. She looked as out of place in this time as Bellbray himself, and he began to wonder if perhaps she was.
The mountain wasn’t far, now. Was that cave some sort of portal? Had it brought other ponies here after him? Or possibly before him? Another unicorn, one with more conventional talents, might have found another way down from that mountainside.
“Well?” The mare’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “Here to make fun of me, are you? I knew I shouldn’t have come back this way.”
“Excuse me, Miss?”
“Oh, come on. You’re from Ponyville, right?” She huffed, tossing her mane. “You can’t tell me you don’t remember the Great and Powerful Trixie.”
“The Great and… who?”
The mare’s expression curdled, as if Bellbray’s words had been a spear through her heart. She squeezed her eyes shut. “Just go away. Let me have some peace for once, or would that kill you ponies. Oh, Celestia, I hate this place.”
Bellbray frowned. His words had given offense. The mare – Trixie – clearly expected to be known around Ponyville. Sighing, he settled to the ground and sat facing the mare across the fire. “I’m sorry, Miss. I’m… new here. I’ve only been in Ponyville about two weeks. The—” what had she said? “—Great and Powerful Trixie?”
The mare opened her eyes and looked up at him. The hint of a sad smile touched the corner of her mouth. “Yeah, well, nevermind that. It’s just Trixie now. Plain old Trixie Lulamoon.”
Somewhat awkwardly, Bellbray lifted his hoof and held it out for Trixie to shake. “I am pleased to make your acquaintance, Miss Lulamoon. I’m Bellbray, of the—” He cut off the words as soon as he realized what he was about to say. Why on earth would he give his herd name to a pony from this era? He had seen no sign that those social structures persisted here. Then again… His eyes began to wander up the mountainside, and he had to force them back down to the mare in front of him.
Trixie stared at his outstretched hoof for a moment before shaking it. The gesture seemed awkward for her as well. “Bellbray of the… what?” she asked with a small smile, mimicking Bellbray’s own question of moments before.
Bellbray of the Keep Your Mouth Shut, Bellbray. “Nothing. Nothing important, in any case. So, Miss Lulamoon, what brings you out into the woods on a cold night like tonight?”
Her eyes narrowed warily. “I’m not here by choice, if that’s what you’re getting at. I meant to head south, maybe to Appleoosa. They say a filly can get a fresh start in a place like that. But ever since the business with that rock farm, things haven’t been going quite to plan.”
“A rock farm? How does one farm rocks?”
“I never did figure that out.” Trixie gave a sad laugh. “Maybe that’s why I wasn’t any good at it. I don’t know why I even tried. Farming is supposed to be something earth ponies do, isn’t it?”
Bellbray chuckled at the echo of his own thoughts. “Indeed. That hardly seems like a fit line of work for a unicorn.”
Across the fire, Trixie was silent for a while. “I needed the money,” she said slowly. “It wasn’t like I could go back to doing what I used to do.”
“And what was that, Miss Lulamoon?”
A cold breeze swept between the trees and the fire danced in response, kicking up a fountain of sparks. Trixie shivered in the moonlight, and when she spoke, it seemed the words were being dragged from her. “I used to be a magician,” she said. “Celestia knows why I’m telling you, though. But it’s been so long since anyone’s just talked to me.”
Magician. The word was both familiar, and not. “You were some sort of mage? But that work must be important, even now. Who would dare to enjoin you against that?”
Trixie cocked her head at him. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever met another stallion who talks like you. But no, that’s not what I said. I was a magician – like, stage magic. Tricks to delight foals and entertain adults, that sort of thing.” She seemed to read the confusion off of Bellbray’s face and continued. “Rope tricks, light shows, a bit of weather manipulation?”
“I’m sorry, Miss Lulamoon. That is... unlike any vocation I know. I’ve never heard of unicorns using their magic for—” For such vulgar purposes, he wanted to say. “For entertainment.”
How had the unicorn tribe fallen so far? Was this the world’s shape, when the Aubade and the Serenade were denied to them?
“Well, it doesn’t matter anymore. Nopony pays to watch a washed up fraud, and if you can’t make a living, what does it matter what you’re good at?” She dropped her head and sighed. “Anypony who wants to get by in this world, she’s gotta have at least two bits to rub together.”
The words were a kick in the chest. This world. This wasn’t how the world was supposed to work. You served a king, or a master, or the leader of your herd. You got protection and a place to bed down – even the rudest rulers gave their subjects that – and if you were talented, or hard-working, or lucky, you got a lot more.
In this world, unicorns had to do the work of earth ponies just to survive. In this world, magic was good for nothing but base labor and entertaining foals. He stared into the fire, and he could feel his anger building. Bellbray closed his eyes and tried to calm himself, but it was like fighting the tides.
“Hey. Um... Bellbray? Are you okay?”
Star Swirl’s dream be damned, if this was what came of it. If he could find a way home, back to his world, perhaps he could prevent this. But until then...
Until then, it was Bellbray’s duty to serve his tribe. And in this world of everypony for himself, that meant being a shield for his people, watching over them when they couldn’t look after themselves. Bellbray had no royal blood, nor was he a proper unicorn lord. Sun and Moon, he’d be chastised for even entertaining that thought back in his time! In truth, Bellbray was scarcely better off than this unkempt mare sleeping out in the woods – with no home of his own, and living under the charity of others. But duty did not make allowances for one’s situation.
Trixie sat quietly, staring across the fire at him. Bellbray forced a smile onto his face and met her eyes. “Miss Lulamoon, these woods hardly seem a fitting place for you to spend the night. Surely you would be happier to sleep in a bed this evening. I would be glad to help you, if you’d like.”
She looked at him with an unreadable expression, and the silence stretched for half a minute before she replied. “Where do you live? Would we have to go through town to get there?”
Bellbray’s smile widened. “No, not at all. I am boarding at the Carousel Boutique. Properly, I should not offer the invitation myself, but Miss Rarity is a generous sort, and I’m sure she would not refuse to… Miss Lulamoon?” Trixie’s eyes had fallen back to the fire, and now it was she who looked angry. Was his protection to be rebuffed so easily? “If I have said something to offend, I am sorry. I know I shouldn’t offer on behalf of others, but—”
“No, it’s not that.” Her voice was tight, but controlled. “It’s… kind of you to offer. Bellbray. But I’ll be fine out here. It’s just one night. I’ll be on my way again in the morning. Maybe I’ll take another stab at the trip down to Appleoosa.”
“Please... Don’t.”
It felt like the tide rushing out. All his resolve of a moment before, thrown back in his face as if it were nothing. Bellbray held tight to the scraps. He had to do this. “At least wait a day before departing, Miss Lulamoon. Perhaps I can find some other way to be of help.”
Again, his words were met with silence and a stare before she chose to answer. “I suppose… A day? Well, it’s not like I’m working to a timetable anymore. Sure. I’ll stay here a day.”
Bellbray nodded and rose to his hooves, feeling much less relaxed than he had a few minutes earlier. “Until tomorrow, then, Miss Lulamoon.” He gave a quick glance at the mountain and at the moon’s position, but it was well past time for him to return. Rarity and Sweetie Belle might already be growing worried.
As he turned to go, Trixie’s voice cut through the darkness. “Bellbray, you might want to avoid mentioning me to… well… just don’t tell anypony I’m here, okay?”
“Miss?”
“Don’t you mind why.” There was a subtle change in her tone now – something Bellbray would almost describe as imperiousness. “Think of it as advice. Good advice, from The G—” She cut off, and her voice mellowed. “From a friend.”
Bellbray made no reply as he slipped into the darkening forest.
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It's here! It's here! It's finally here!
Okay, I pre-read it, and everything, but still. It's on FiMFic and that makes it real.
So. Best chapter so far. Spot on characterizations all-around and Rarity gets to use prêt-à-porter in a sentence. What more could a fellow possibly want.
Oh wow, an update! Awesome! I love Bellbray as a fish out of water, trying to make sense of the world--and of course, interpreting or misinterpreting everything in the worst possible way. Can't wait to see more!
Woo, this was interesting. I almost feel like I knew Trixie's voice in the woods. I thought for a moment that she might unwittingly confirm Bellbray's suspicions that Twilight was a temperamental despot by revealing that she ruined her reputation and ran her out of civilization.
Poor Bellbray, so afraid of The Great and Powerful Twilight Sparkle. I keep waiting for him to ask about this "Celestia" everypony keeps swearing to, (at least 3 times in this chapter alone) but I guess he's still too worried about seeming ignorant to say anything.
"Harrangue" is traditionally spelled "harangue".
EDIT: Quite a good chapter. I especially loved the characterization at the end.
2737049
I did not know this! Traditionally, I don't even bother running a spell-check because it's fairly uncommon for things to escape my editing passes and pre-readers (and because it turns into a mess of "that's not a word" far in excess of giving useful suggestions). Thank you for pointing it out!
I want to like Bell, I really do. But he's not coming off very well, even in his own internal monologue. He somehow knows enough about Twilight to judge that she "conforms to the very worst conventions of her kind" when his only direct encounter with her ended badly as a result of his own actions? For somepony who is a direct student of a Starswirl that was apparently a champion of inter-tribe cooperation, I'm a tad unimpressed by how unwilling he is to look beyond his own biases.
Not to say that I'm finding fault with the story, I'm just finding the protagonist to be rather unlikable so far.
2737222 I had a whole rambling reply I was writing out, but then I decided it wasn't really contributing much. Suffice it to say that this is very much intentional so far. I'm actually a bit uncomfortable with it right here myself, for reasons I'll spare you the details on. Like I said in the blog, I wound up splitting one chapter into two here, and I'm hoping the next chapter / back half of what was intended as this chapter starts to turn things around a bit.
But in terms of character arc, I wanted to cut as close to the margin as I could manage early on, to give me more room to work as the story progressed. From chapter two, my pre-readers can attest I was quite worried about whether I could get away with having an OC protagonist openly assault another pony and say legitimately hateful things without risking the moral event horizon.
Anyway, I think I've been verbose enough on the matter already, but I definitely appreciate the input. I feel like it may be worth pointing out, though, that [Dark] is not among the story tags here.
2737305 I was somewhat suspicious that it was intentional, and in the end I'm mostly forgiving of him for it on account of him being stuck out of his own time. I'm definitely curious to see where you go with the room you've given yourself.
2737222
The way I'm reading it is that he is, deep down, a more than a little bit afraid of Twilight. He's lost, she appears incredibly powerful magically and politically, and, yes, that first encounter didn't go well. It can be easy to find ways to not like what you're afraid of. I suspect that just one encounter with Twilight that shows him she's actually quite reasonable and harmless will probably fix all this, but right now he's avoiding her like the plague.
2737222
Likeability is a subjective thing, but allow me to mount a defense for Bellbray.
Now, he's not right, but I feel you may not be giving him sufficient slack. He's operating under circumstances of extremely limited and faulty information and he's filling the hole from assumptions from his own time. Now it might seem ludicrous to you to be apprehensive of Twilight, that adorkable and remarkably kind bookworm. But you've seen the show.
Look at it from Bellbray's point of view. He's used to there being powerful unicorn mages as potentates and he's used to these ponies, by and large, being really quite unlikeable. And then he sees Twilight who:
1. Is furious the first time they meet. Angry Twilight is a sight that worries demigods, of course he's apprehensive.
2. Is mind-shatteringly powerful, brushing his finest magic away like it was fluff.
3. Is apparently obeyed by the entire town.
4. Is extremely eccentric in her behavior: She has a private library[1] just for herself -- for Bellbray that's an act of unimaginable extravagance, like having your own island. She reputedly has a dragon as a servant.
What's he supposed to think about her, given where he's from? You don't get your own library, he thinks, without there being a whole lot of ponies ground under your hoof paying you tribute. As for enslaving a dragon! Can you imagine the fierceness of someone who pulls something like that? The arrogance of it? *shudder*
See? It's all a matter of perspective, isn't it?
Now add to that a world that
a) Seems so very upside down to him. He's enlightened for his time, but he has a lot of unexamined prejudices that the society he used to live did nothing to challenge. He's not a bad pony, he just has a lot of stupid stuff in his head which, with luck, we'll see knocked out with the power of friendship and maybe a well-timed kick or two.
b) Relegates magic from its quasi-religious position of something special, almost holy, to utility and the entertainment of foals. This to him seems blasphemous.
c) Shows no loyalty towards clan and herd. Allows ponies like Trixie to be cast out, to be nothing without money. Money! A base and common thing! Does blood mean nothing? Allegiance? Loyalty? Shall she be left out there to freeze and die alone? Say what you will about Bellbray's time, but nopony was sent to die out alone, he might think. Now Tirixie doesn't want help, and he's wrong[2], but only we know that. He doesn't. Dramatic irony and all that.
And faced with all that, what does he do? He decides to shoulder everypony's burden. And that is his virtue and his flaw. He is self-sacrificing and responsible to a fault. If nopony will help Trixie he will do it, out here, alone, with no home, no name that means aught, no Aubade, nothing. That is admirable. But he also assumes everypony needs his help, and would benefit from his instruction. He's paternalistic, in short.
Still, I put it to you that what you find objectionable is Bellbray's time, not his actual personality.
[1] Well, he thinks it's private. He is quite unfamiliar with the concept of a public library.
[2] During pre-reading there was, actually a bit of a worry that this might seem like ponies really did abandon Trixie to wander the land without kith or kin, and I joked that an author's note should be attached reading: "Mr. Line would like to report that the (Revised) Mutual Aid Act of 899, the Statute for Social Welfare, and the Charter of Equestrian Freedoms mean absolutely nopony has to sleep in the woods. Some choose to do so for recreational reasons, and call this barbarous activity 'camping' but that's neither here nor there. Point is Mr. Bellbray is out of his gourd, and Miss. Lulamoon could report to either a shelter, nearest one being in Canterlot, or to any of the twenty-three private homes in Ponyville which are accredited and volunteered by their residents as shelters or half-shelters. That is all, readers. We now return you to your regularly scheduled fic."
2737305
I decided to be a little more... verbose in my defense of Bellbray. Hope you don't mind.
2737549>>2737690 Excellent rebuttals guys, and I may be grinning for hours at GhostOfHeraclitus responding to me with a comment with footnotes (Bradel knows why).
2737690
I go take a nap, and this happens.
There is one thing in particular I want to respond to, though:
No, or at least "not informally" anyway. I suspect you're just trying to mount a strident defense without nerfing your arguments, but this hearkens back to the whole issue of being cast out in Ch.2. You could absolutely be sent out to die alone. But it wasn't something that would happen unintentionally.
2738079
Also, I laughed out loud.
2738084
Oh, agreed, agreed, I was writing from Bellbray's point of view. Bellbray isn't that surprised by cruelty[1], but he is by carelessness. You may be exiled to die alone, but not forgotten. That sort of thing.
[1] He comes from a cruel time -- he might even be shocked to realize just how soft everypony's gone, i.e. "What do you mean, no death penalty?"
2738101
I feel there's a bit here I missed out. Can you explain?
2739910 It involves a somewhat negative comment related to writing that I left on someone else's blog post. I don't like calling attention to that sort of thing publicly, but I'll PM you the link.
2739914 Nah, I wouldn't describe it as negative. I thought it was a good discussion.
2739986>>2739914
Regarding that PM-linked comment: You can take our lives, but you can never take OUR FOOTNOTES!
There is an elegant way to do 'em, actually[1], but FiMFiction doesn't support it. For larger stories, the separate chapter thing works[2]. For smaller ones, I like the Ghostnotes(TM) approach as used in A Canterlot Carol.
[1] It's used in TvTropes, for instance.
[2] Sort of. FiMFiction doesn't support anchored links, so there's still an element of rooting around.
Really enjoying this. Bellbray's "old world" perspective is fascinating -- he sees the Equestria we've come to know and love in a remarkably different light. I also have a soft spot for Minuette, and she's rather adorable here. Can't wait to see how things progress on that front.
Oh Trixie. I can't tell if you think they would lynch you on sight, or if you just don't want to beg for help.
Probably both really.
Bellbray, your time period is showing again.
Wonder what was found up north...
Considering Bellbray has spent plenty of time in the untamed wilds, you would think he would know that mountains have a bad habit of seeming closer than they actually are.
I was happy to see that you've updated this story at last, and of course I enjoyed it.
Interesting to see Bellbray's attitudes about his future, and how his way of thinking was a definite part of the problem to overcome. Interesting tale...
Needs more upvotes. Good work!
I'll admit, my main thought upon reading this chapter was, "Bugger, I'm really gonna need to step up my game to keep up with this level of skill."
You continue to do an excellent job of balancing between showing Bellbray's background assumptions and keeping him sympathetic. Further, the tranquility of this chapter is nice after the hustle and bustle of the previous two, so you've got a good rhythm going.
Criticisms? I'm struggling to think of any. Scraping the bottom of the barrel, I suppose the conversations with Minuette feels a bit like the beginning of a by-the-numbers romance. But that's not necessarily a fault, and I could be completely off the mark in any case.
2752774
Oh, I want to respond to that. But spoilers!
Hopefully, the full story will not disappoint.
Bell's casual racism is kind of amusing. He is going to totally lose it when he meets Zecora. That'll probably out him.
I like the irony that he's a student of Star Swirl and that he would actually receive a lot of help if he would man up and talk to Twilight. She's wary of him obviously, but I don't think she's ever been shown to hold a grudge. Even on Trixie's return in cannon, she was annoyed at the attitude, not the mare.
I really like the start here, and I'll be looking forward to seeing where this is headed.
/)
With this taking place seemingly between seasons 2 and 3, I am very curious how Bell's interactions with Trixie will affect the events of Magic Duel. I imagine that could end up a chapter, what with all the focus on perspective.
2841515 I feel like I'm being slightly too cagey about this, given that it only shows up via context, but the timing on this story actually starts midway through season 2, at the episode "Hearth's Warming Eve" and continues forward.
But you're certainly right to wonder how I may be planning to tie this in with "Magic Duel". That's definitely within the scope of the planned story.
2841871
Nah, I'd simply forgotten that detail of chapter 2 due to the length of time between my reading chapter's 2 and 3. Regardless, that's a lot of time to play with, and the consequences would most certainly ripple throughout the other season 3 events. Shame Bell didn't show up right before the super-intimidating Twilight got wings, though, that'd have thrown him for a multicultural loop.
(Sidenote, I meant seasons 2 and 3, not 1 and 2. I blame my mobile device and posting comments at 1:30am.)
I find myself wondering if his resolve is a turn for the better or for the worse.
Wow, it's been nearly a year since this updated...