• Member Since 20th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday


All that I touch seems to break in my hands, then it just bursts into flames.

Comments ( 158 )

and here it is lawl

Regidar #2 · Feb 2nd, 2013 · · 34 ·

>Tfw you want to cum inside Scootaloo

Death is tragic, but life is miserable.
-the sorrow (metal gear solid 3)

uhhh nice writing? Too tragic though and weird. Also just ... sorry I no like it :twilightoops:. I try to find the best out of these stories on the site and comment appropriately but yeah.... :pinkiesick:

Could use some extension, but still very good.

This was really good. I've seen a few orphan-Scootaloos, but none quite so wretched as this!

And you were worried I wouldn't like this! Freaking amazing!


... wow. only 1 dislike so far?
I coulda sworn that this was gonna be a repeat of Rainbow gets an abortion.

Midway through reading this, i looked up a picture of diamond tiara, pasted it to paint and tried my best to make it look like the most gruesome murder scene ever. Also, this story wasn't all that sad in the beginning because it seemed impossible for the CMC to split, even with the influence of AJ and Rarity. The ending got me, it was beautiful. The most beautiful death scene I have ever read.:fluttercry::raritycry::applecry:

2064548 i do not believe in a god either, but one way or another death finds us in time. that final scene said nothing of her going to a divine power or not (although some may take the hallucination of RD as an allegory to god). to me its a final comfort to a horrible life. think about it this way, she died in that can, but her last memory will be that of joy. (also, before you die, your brain makes you trip balls, so she could have just been as high as f*ck) as a sidenote, I found a very interestingly relative-to-this-story emoticon: :scootangel:


this story is very ambrose bierce. He wrote a story called "an occurence at owl creek bridge."Is it's about a man being hanged but ,in his mind, he escapes to freedom when the rope snaps. In reality it was just his brain helping him escape the horror of the event. This story has the same idea.
Glad you like it!
2064320 yeah, i know man.

2064655are you watching me? I just read that for a college course


that is awesome. It was such a good story. He was amazing.

2064742 very good writer indeed. i never saw the ending coming, and thats the way i like my stories. im so analytical, expecting every little twist that can possibly happen. sometimes i wish i wasn't so, but hey, my brain's a douchebag.:unsuresweetie:
also, nice avatar. psychopinkie is so much more fun than pinkie.
i just noticed that you are the one who wrote this /)

This hurt. I thought everypony would find out about her or something. It seems a bit implausible that nopony would know she was an orphan, and I honestly doubt Scootaloo would instantaneously spill that she was an orphan. Regardless, this was quite touching.

That was such a sad story! I felt sooooo bad for Scoots in this story, being suspended from school by Cherilee, then being taunted by Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, then finally being told by AppleBloom and Sweetie Belle that they couldn't hang with her anymore because their respective sisters (Applejack and Rarity) said they caught Scoots stealing from them (but that was only because Scoots had to eat).

Then she eats something she shouldn't have and she ends up hallucinating that everyone hated her all along. And, just when we think things end up on a hopeful note, as Scootaloo's hero, Rainbow Dash, takes her home with her, we find that it's her last living thought as she finally gives up the ghost.

Somehow, it don't think that Scootaloo's friends would turn away from her so easily, or that Applejack and Rarity would cut loose Scoots like they did before trying to see if something was wrong with her. I would have preferred the ending with Dash taking Scootaloo in and returning to school and being able to play with AppleBloom and Sweetie Belle, but stories where everything ends happily get old sometimes, because we know that in the real world the good guys don't always win.

Anyway, this story made me sad for poor Scoots, but at least now, the pain's behind her.:scootangel:

I almost cried reading this.


2065550 Mission: Accomplished. Thanks for reading.
2064175 I appreciate your time and thank you for the comment
2064428 I would like to see that drawing if you still have it. Lol
2065183 I actually debated leaving the story off before the last paragraph but Slice of Life just isn't my thing. I had a plan and I stuck with it. I'm actually surprised people seemed to have enjoyed the story with that ending.

Comment posted by Pilate deleted Feb 3rd, 2013

....ow......That actually hurt my soul. I did not even know I had one to do such to. Bravo.

I could only find one predictable thing in this story. The ending. But that doesn't mean it's a bad story. Instead it tells you the unexplained backstory of Scootaloo, which is good in it's own right. The story is played out very well, and Scootaloo shows actual weakness in this story. In the show, we know her as the tomboy, and is aching for her cutie mark. She makes herself look tough, and be more brave then others, with some exceptions *cough*Sleepless in ponyville*cough*. So I find the whiplash in character very well. If there is one thing I hate is this story, is Diamond. She is too evil, no child in their own right would do something like that (unless they have their fair share of problems, but still, they wouldn't do that).

You deserve my fav. Take it, hug it, accept it. Just like Scootaloo did.

I want a sequel were her body is found.

Love this. I would hope for a sequel, please:pinkiesad2:


2066047 Thank you. I will cherish it always. and name it fred.

I loved the story, so heart wrenching. However, call me stupid, but i didnt get the ending. Why did she die if Rainbow Dash took her in? Or was it just a dream?

I would love a sequel also.:scootangel:

A definite Twilight Zone ending -- especially since a French short film of "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" aired in the States as an episode of Rod Serling's original Twilight Zone in 1964. (I was eleven; it messed with my head something fierce.)

2066090 Her mind snapped as a form of relief and gave her what she wanted the most in the final few moments before starvation and cold killed her

Better to die under an illusion than suffer in truth when there's no other way.:pinkiesad2:

Wow. Just wow. This was so good! You took something done so many times, and made it fresh and interesting to read. You are so good at grimdark that it's scary. I've read each one of your fics (except pinkamenace 2 society, which is in my to read later) and each is better than the last. You deserve so much more credit than you have, especially for this.

Scootaloo was spot on, your characters were all believable, and the ending was fantastic. Even though I want a sequel, I feel it might take away from this fic. Keep up the awesome work jmj.

I want a sequel.:flutterrage: Its so sad. I can imagine her just looking devastated as her 'friends' desert her. I can see that DT and SS don't actually know fully how she feels about it, and that later they might change their tune. Those ponies walk by, they don't seem to care. It just seems truly against the Ponyville norm. I can even sense her mind trick her into a delusion of fake happiness before she died. I can almost sense a sad tone to it, like she really wants to be with RD before she died.


Your making the feels come!

I need a sequel, I want to see the results of her death. She died having no one..totally alone..

I cried! Why do I like these things?!
It is so sad! But I cried manly tears.
Well done and you deserve a slow clap of awesomeness.

A sweet, sad story. I enjoy your writing style and the narrative flowed well. Nicely done.


2067318 Thank you.
2066778 I love the comment and I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's funny. I was accused of writing out of character last night.


2064978 Lol. That's fine. It's good to be analytical. Thanks for the kudos to my avatar pic. I used to use a different one but this one is just amazing. Thanks again for the comments and the read.

My sadness at this ending is only balanced by the thought of how shitty all of those ponies will feel when they find Scootaloo's body and (hopefully) realize what they've done. As for the story itself, it's written quite well. I think it says something about a story when the comments are purely about its' content and abstract elements, rather than grammar, structure, and other petty issues. Bravo, good sir!


2067494 I appreciate the kind comments, sir. Grammatically speaking, I better know what I'm doing. I'm a minor in English and currently taking the 4000 level Grammar course. Also, my editor is amazing.

2066068 Well, I hope Fred will live a good long life.

I read through the story, and man was this harsh. Luckily, I have a coping mechanism for reading darkfics. Simply replace the canon voices with Friendship is Witchcraft voices in your head and things are 10x more hilarious.

SS & DT: "Gutterloo!"


2068064 SS and DT are such snots. It was fun writing for their hateful nature. A bit over the top but fun none-the-less. I loved how DT was just cruel and saw herself so much as Scoot's superior. I doubt they'd care very much if her little frozen body were found the next day. DT's probably laugh.


Thanks for the tears. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Comment posted by Hadithi deleted Feb 3rd, 2013

Based on The Little Match Girl, I'm guessing? That's what I had in my mind, especially at the ending.

Gotta say, I loved this, even though it kinda ruined my day. Beautifully written, heart wrenchingly sad, and with a slight sparkle of happiness at the end. Very well done.

Now, I really need to go sit in the corner and cry hysterically for my favorite pony. :raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry::raritycry:


2069046 Based off of "an Occurence at Owl Creek Bridge" by Ambrose Bierce.

This reminds me of the Little Match Girl.

*Spoiler Alert*
That ending... :raritydespair: :fluttercry:

Login or register to comment