• Member Since 22nd May, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Friday

TorontoFCBrony


A simple plot, but I know one day, good things are coming our way.

Sequels1

T
Source

Rainbow Dash graduates from the Wonderbolt Academy. After many weeks of training, she falls in love with Soarin, her instructor. However, when war breaks out and the Wonderbolts have to join the Equestrian Royal Army, Rainbow Dash and Soarin's love for each other and their loyalty for their kingdom are tested.


This story was inspired by the song Violet Hill by Coldplay, as well as the rest of the Viva La Vida album. It takes place after the Wonderbolt Academy episode, not including Alicorn Twilight Sparkle or anything after season 3. Rated teen for a few suggestive jokes and moments of intimacy, but nothing mature.


Artwork by: Bob the Lurker.


First Story: Violet Hill.
Second Story: Til Kingdom Come.

Chapters (25)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 980 )

RainbowSoar is best ship!

I don't normally read sad stories or romance stories of which this is both but I think I will give this a shot.

oh, but I think you have the wrong pony with Rainbow in your cover art :trollestia:
2.bp.blogspot.com/-p46XevQwXqw/UO9EvgU8_6I/AAAAAAABOYQ/cnyJeoPxGBQ/s400/1.JPG

1943833 LOL!!! Awesome! Thanks for reading :pinkiesmile: I usually don't do romance, so this is my first shot. I'm really nervous about this story. I hope people like it.

Darn it, first thumbs down. I hope for the future people just say a reason why they did that so that I can work on improving my writing.

Hmm. Interesting. I'll favorite it! :pinkiehappy:

“Why in Equestria would not want to join the Wonderbolts?

I think missing a you.

Your style reminds me of my friend's own. Some notes to make your story better (and pitfalls which I have fallen into):
Constractions, contractions, contr- oh you get it. Instead of just saying I am I am I am, use I'm instead.
Reread the chapter. turth be told, authors usually have a keen eye for mistakes when playing down talent. Reread every new chapter before posting to scour for any errors.
Get a prereader. Prereaders help you with ^ that. PM me if you want to use me as one; I would gladly accept. I finished BP and have no more favs, so I have too much time on my hands. Or you can make a thread in the Feature Box Crusaders asking for prereaders.
Listen to people. If you have one ending set, but someone suggests an even cooler one, take it and run away with it.

My first story was a SoarDash ship and I deleted it because it was HORRIBLE. Even by the standards of My Immortal, it was barely any good. Don't make her fall in love too quickly. That's why. Just... don't do it.

Have fun,
N

1944047 Thanks for the very good tips. I proofread it and had a few friends read it over too, but we all missed that "you" so thanks for pointing it out. I will also keep that in mind to not make them fall in love too easily or quickly. Thanks :pinkiesmile:

1944140 LOL! Well, it might have a double meaning :rainbowwild: Probably not though. I have to keep this quite clean.

Inspired by Viva La Vida?

You better not take my potential chapter names. :derpytongue2:

1944397Dude don't even worry about that, your fic is 100x better than mine. I'm only using Violet Hill as a chapter name because it is going to be a location in my story.

1944542

Hah, I'm just playing.

I don't really care even if you do anyway. :P

I wish you the best of luck on this story! :pinkiehappy:
Favorite!
Also,

1944825 Thanks buddy! Thanks for posting the video too!

Wow, I am so stinking happy that it is popular! Thanks everyone :twilightsmile:

Here's my obligatory comment, mate. Without many words because everything I wanted to say has already been said. I'm just gonna drop a few words here. Keep it up and make the best of it. I know it'll be splendid. I'm gonna be so jealous. Rainbow Dash is mine! :derpytongue2: Maybe I have a unique critique in the further chapters. :pinkiehappy:

1945394 I was waiting for this moment.Thanks buddy :heart:

1945399 Yeah, everyone is just waiting for Arrow to brighten up their day...or ruin it. :derpytongue2: I have too much influence on people's lives. I'm in your head. :pinkiecrazy:

1945428 Oh stink, you are in my head... How do I get you out?? No wait, I'm better off with you in there :rainbowlaugh:

1945446 There is no escape. Once I'm in your head, I will stay forever. You know the consciences in cartoons, which are displayed as an angel and the devil? Guess who of them is me.:derpytongue2:

1945484 Um... My mom? I think I got that wrong :ajbemused:

1945487 Hmm...being your mom technically makes me Canadian. :pinkiehappy: I'm totally fine with that.

MORE!!!!!!! You are such a great writer, I have looked at many stories on this site and a lot of them are poorly written but this, this was Awesome! Please write more!!!!

1945524 Wow, are you serious? Thanks so much :pinkiegasp: :rainbowkiss:

1945521 If you'd be Canadian that would make you 20% cooler :rainbowwild:

1945568 You did NOT just use that overused quote on me! :flutterrage: Anyway, you really are an amazing writer, mate. When I say that it has to be true because I'm always stating my honest opinion. Whether people like it or not.:twilightsmile:

1946077 Join my Coldplay Fan Group if you want! :twilightsmile:

1946107 Get ready to see the Song of the Day in a minute! :pinkiehappy:

All

Awesome story, thank you dude.
But.
>I will visit you at least once a year.
>once a year
>at least
>the friends who can't live normal life without each other even during one single week
And... too many hugs, if you ask me. I know I know they a very close friends and stuff, but anyway...

1947109 Thanks, and duly noted, but I'm not going to change it now because of all the previous readers. I needed a way to catch the emotion.

Rainbow's inability to flirt properly is totally something I can understand. Reminds me of myself when I try to act smooth. :derpytongue2: I'm acting like the biggest klutz in the world. :pinkiesad2: Well, short chapter just like you said it would be. That's why I don't have much to criticize right now. It's pretty solid. Of course, the fact that this chapter has just a little more than 1,000 words makes it really difficult to really say much to help you. :twilightsmile: Now I'm waiting for more.

On a totally unrelated note, I enjoy being in your head. It's so comfortable.

1947480 Yeah I kind if used my own flirting techniques in the story XD The next chapter will be long and romantic, but I will upload it after my trip. I have 10 hours on the plane to write it!

I can imagine Dash being like the way she acted:eeyup:

1947556 Hopefully that means I did a good job :D

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!