• Published 11th Jan 2013
  • 8,310 Views, 964 Comments

Violet Hill - TorontoFCBrony



A tragic love story, featuring Rainbow Dash and Soarin.

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Chapter 25: A Perfect Conclusion

"What're you thinking about now?" Soarin asked Dash as the two of them cuddled on a cloud up above Ponyville.

"I don't know, Soarin. Nothing much," Rainbow replied while looking up at the sunny blue sky and the clouds above them.

The day was pristine. It was a few days since Soarin miraculously returned home from Saddle Arabia. Word quickly spread across Ponyville, and, only after a few days, everypony that knew Soarin was aware that he was alive and well.

Soarin got back in contact with Spitfire, who was sure that he had died many years ago. She was promoted to serve at a new location in Saddle Arabia, so she didn't even know that he survived. Spitfire said that she was in tears when she received the letter from Rainbow and Soarin informing her of the good news.

Everypony in Ponyville, especially Rainbow's close friends, was as excited as could be that the couple was reunited, especially after all the pain that Rainbow had to go through and the sadness of the years of being alone.

"There is one thing that's on my mind..." Rainbow thought out loud while looking at the sky above.

"What is it, Dashie?"

"I am the happiest mare on earth with you here," she said while leaning up and looking back to her stallion.

Soarin held his hooves out towards Rainbow while he was still on his back. "Come here, you," he told her.

Rainbow spun around on the small cloud so that she was fully on top of Soarin.

It was their first real time alone together in nearly six years. Everypony was just so excited for the two of them that the last few days were spent just surrounded by ponies.

As Rainbow was on top of Soarin, they gazed into each other's eyes. "What're you thinking about now?" Soarin asked with a smirk as he stared at Rainbow, while she gave him the best bedroom eyes she could ever give.

"Soarin, you know very well what's on my mind right now."

Rainbow started by locking her lips on Soarin's. They kissed with the passion of six years' worth. It was Rainbow's first time feeling any physical contact of that kind.

Soarin used his strength to flip Rainbow around on her back so that he was now on top. He began to kiss her on the neck, slowly moving his way back to her mouth. Her tongue tasted like skittles on his, but that was probably because of the breath mints she took earlier.

After a short make out session, Soarin popped his head back and gave her the stare.

Just as Soarin leaned in, Rainbow stopped him. "Wait... we're outside. What if somepony sees us? What if the princesses watch us?"

Soarin whispered in her ear, "Then they'll like what they see..."

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Meanwhile, Scootaloo was helping Violet learn how to draw with their mouths back at Rainbow and Soarin's house.

"Let me see what you got there, squirt," Scootaloo said to the young Violet. Squirt is what Rainbow used to call Scootaloo when she was a little squirt herself. The orange filly loved that name, though, and when she grew into a mare she decided to use it on others.

Violet put down her pen from her mouth and showed her foalsitter. "I drew daddy and mamma and me walking through the park."

"Oh, Vi, that's beautiful!" Scootaloo exclaimed while holding up the first picture that Violet made alone. The picture was a typical foal's picture. It was totally misshapen, but it was coloured properly and was made with all of the little filly's heart.

That was when Soarin and Rainbow returned from their 'walk in the park.' Rainbow's mane was disheveled, yet she was grinning from ear to ear and wobbling blissfully like she was drunk. Soarin looked quite normal, but he was also much happier than he was when they left.

"Well, well," Scootaloo said with a grin at the sight of them. "It seems like you two had an exciting time."

"Yes," Rainbow replied. "We went for a very brisk walk in the park."

Violet ran over and gave both of her parents a hug. Rainbow at first looked down to her daughter, and then over to Scootaloo, who was still grinning.

"Oh, like you've never done something like that before." Rainbow said to Scootaloo while Violet was still hugging the mother's leg.

"Actually, I haven't," the orange pegasus replied. “I haven’t been with anypony yet, and I’m happy like that.” Trying to defer the attention back to the couple, Scootaloo continued, “But I'm old enough to know that you did, and enjoyed it too.” She gave an accepting smile back to the couple.

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As the weeks went by, and the winter came, Soarin and Rainbow enjoyed their time together. Soarin retired as a member of the Wonderbolts, even though he was physically able to still be successful. He retired due to the reason that he already served his time for the ponies of Equestria, and it was now time to enjoy a quiet life.

However, they needed to take care of something very soon: their wedding day. Rainbow wanted to marry Soarin well before he left for Saddle Arabia, yet he had only proposed the day before he left. Rainbow still had the ring, yet she kept it at home most of the time. Now that they were back together, she wore it everywhere and every day.

Soarin went out with some of the local stallions, Big Mac, Thunderlane and his little brother Rumble, and Time Turner, who was a doctor of some sort. They went out to learn from Big Mac on how to have a successful married life, as he and Fluttershy were very happy throughout the years.

Meanwhile, Rainbow had her five closest friends, as well as the former Cutie Mark Crusaders, over to discuss... whatever it was that mares would talk about. Only Fluttershy and Rainbow were the ones out of the group who had found a stallion of their own. The older ones of them were starting to feel a little lonely, while Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle had stuck together and never had any dates, but they were still young and had all the time in the world.

Rainbow said to her friends, "I was thinking of having my wedding on the field beside Violet Hill. I mean, come on! That was our most special place, and that is where we had Soarin's funeral. What do you guys think?"

"I think that is simply lovely," Rarity said. "In springtime would be a marvellous place to have a wedding."

"I also read in a book that outdoor weddings are fun and great for photography, depending on the weather," Twilight added.

"So it's settled, then," Rainbow concluded. "Violet Hill it is. It'll take a lot of planning, but I want it to be perfect."

"Oh it will be perfect, Rainbow," Fluttershy assured. "A perfect wedding for a perfect couple."

Rainbow's cheeks grew a little more pink with a small blush. "Oh come on, we're both amazing, but we're not exactly perfect." The pegasus then added, "I told Soarin that I'd take care of all the planning. He's been through enough. I want to give him a break. I'll need help from my best friends, though."

The mares all looked at each other with smiles, but then Twilight spoke out, saying, "You don't need to worry about anything, Rainbow. We already agreed that we would do it all for you; if that's okay with you, of course."

Rainbow looked to the floor and smiled. "Thanks... That's why you're the best friends a mare could ever have."

"If you think the wedding will be fun," Apple Bloom interrupted, "just wait until the wedding night!"

Rainbow looked over to her daughter Violet, who was playing with her My Little Human toys. The mare smiled at the still innocent mind of the older Apple Bloom.

"She's already done it, you dodo," Sweetie Belle said in a joking manner.

"Oh, yeah. I guess I forgot about that," the young earth mare replied with an embarrassed smile.

"Ooh ooh," Pinkie sounded out while raising her hoof.

"Yes?" Rainbow said to the pink earth pony. "You don't need to put up your hoof to say something, you know."

"CanIbeabridesmaid?" Pinkie asked as fast as she could.

"Uh... What?" Rainbow asked, not quite getting what the party pony had initially said.

"Oh, sorry. Can I please be a bridesmaid?"

Rainbow wasn't quite ready for this question, though. She took a step back, and replied, "Well, um... I'm not sure. I want to have all of you in my wedding party, but I know that's not possible. I might just have a best mare and that's it."

Each of her five oldest friends wanted to be the best mare, but they also knew that it was Rainbow's choice and only her's to make. It would also be a very difficult decision for her; one of the most difficult of her life. Rainbow knew that they all wanted to be it, but she also knew that they'd be satisfied with any decision the bride-to-be made.

As Rainbow could see the other mares' faces of excitement, expecting an answer, she also took a look at Scootaloo, who was just standing there with her head turned to Violet. Scootaloo was smiling while watching the little blue filly play, and the orange pegasus didn't even seem to care about being a best mare. Rainbow took good note of that.

The mares kept on talking and hanging out throughout the night. The topic of who was going to be the best mare never came up again that night. Eventually, the mares decided at their own times that they should head home.

As Rainbow said goodbye to Pinkie, whom she thought was the last visitor to leave, she looked over to see Scootaloo now playing with Violet. That truly warmed the mother's heart.

"Hey, Scoots. All of the others went home, you know. Soarin is coming back now. Shouldn't you go back home?" Rainbow brought up to Scootaloo.

The young orange pony looked at the clock, seeing that it was close to midnight. "Oh gosh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept Violet up this late," she apologised.

"No need to feel sorry," Rainbow assured. Picking up Scootaloo from off the floor, where the young mare was leaning to play with the filly, Rainbow decided to ask a question. "Hey, how do you feel about me getting married ? I mean, you're my little sister."

Scootaloo looked at Rainbow with wide eyes. "You really want to know what I think?"

"Of course, squirt," the mare reassured.

"Well," the younger pegasus replied, "to be honest, it won't change much. You've loved Soarin for years, and you have a family, so it's only fitting that you do get married. I'll be happy for you and there for you every step of the way. Just don't forget about me!"

Rainbow put her front hoof around her little sister. "Hey, you know I would never forget about you. But there's something else I wanted to ask you."

"Go ahead, big sis," Scootaloo exclaimed with eager eyes.

"Who do you think should be my best mare?" asked the blue pegasus.

Scootaloo seemed to ponder that question for a few seconds. "Well... Fluttershy has been your longest friend."

"Yeah."

"But Twilight really took care of you while Soarin was gone."

"True."

"But, if you choose them Pinkie, Applejack, and Rarity will be jealous."

"Now you see my predicament, huh Scoots?"

Scootaloo thought about the predicament deeply. But then, Rainbow said something that the younger mare never would have thought. "So many choices, and all so hard to make. That's why you're going to be my best mare."

Scootaloo stumbled back. "Me? Why me?" she asked in confusion but also excitement.

Rainbow lightly punched Scootaloo on the shoulder. "Because, squirt, you were always there from the beginning. You were always there to cheer me on, and you are a great influence on Violet. I'd be honoured if you would stand by my side when I finally tie the knot. Besides, all my other friends will be busy helping with the wedding. I don't want to add something else to one of them."

Rainbow looked back at her little sister, who had her head turned. "Hey, are you all right?" the mare asked the purple-maned pegasus,

Scootaloo turned her head toward Rainbow. The younger mare had some water in her eyes. "I never, ever thought you would ask me that!"

"So is that a yes?"

"Of course!" Scootaloo shouted while jumping into the mare for a hug.

Just then was when Soarin stumbled in, a little tipsy from the alcohol he must have had with the other stallions. He smiled as he saw his wife and Scootaloo engaging in a loving sisterly hug.

Rainbow knew that she had made the right choice. Not only had she chosen a loyal companion in Scootaloo, who was just as loyal as the mare (imagine that, as loyal as the element of loyalty herself), but she had chosen a true friend who had been there from the beginning, as well as the one who would appreciate it the most.

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The day had finally come. It was the long awaited and long overdue wedding of Soarin and Rainbow Dash. It was in the springtime, and the wedding was held outdoors at the same place where Soarin's funeral was held at Violet Hill.

Even though it was still a private wedding, there were plenty of ponies attending, including all of the couple's friends, as well as Soarin's parents and the Wonderbolts.

Rainbow had visited Soarin's parents just for a weekend before he left for Saddle Arabia, and they were crushed (understandably) when they thought he had died in the war. But after Soarin's return, they spent much more time together. Rainbow had become like a daughter to them, and she finally felt like she had her own parents once again.

This was the happiest day of the life of Soarin's parents. Their only foal was finally going to tie the knot. They were already as proud as could be of the stallion they still thought of as their little colt, but this just sealed it for them. They loved Rainbow, and couldn't be happier with the mare that their little stallion found for himself.

Everypony sat in the audience as Soarin stood beside Rapidfire, his best stallion. The day was absolutely beautiful. The field was set with chairs on the grass on either side of the red carpet down the middle, which led to the front. There was an elderly stallion who was also waiting there under a set up white arch where the couple was to be married. He was the ordained pony to carry out the marriage.

In the distance there was an area set up for the reception, including tables and a temporary dance floor beside a stage with instruments and a DJ booth. There was a tent for the hired workers to cook, and two bathrooms set up out of wood. The members of Coltplay, Vinyl Scratch, who went by the stage name DJ Pon-3, as well as Octavia the cellist, were glad to accept the invitation to play at this joyous occasion. The members of Coltplay were friends for years with Soarin, and Octavia and Vinyl were suggested by Twilight Sparkle, who knew them in Canterlot before coming to Ponyville.

Everypony was sitting in their seats on both sides of the ceremony setup. In the middle was a red carpet leading to the tent that Rainbow was in. Chris, the frontman of Coltplay, was sitting at the organ, ready to play while Rainbow would make her way down the aisle.

“Are you ready, big sis?” Scootaloo asked the rainbow-maned pegasus as the two of them and the young Violet waited inside the tent.

“I think so. How do I look?” Dash asked in reply.

After Scootaloo gave a good look up and down, she replied, “You look amazing.” The younger mare turned away for a second.

“Scoots, are you… crying?” Rainbow asked while coming around to the younger mare.

“No…” Scootaloo tried to reply while wiping her eye. “Okay, yes. Yes, I am crying.”

Rainbow smiled and nearly had a tear of her own. She wiped the tears off of Scootaloo’s eyes. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t think anything less of you.”

“I am so proud of you, big sis,” Scootaloo said while giving a final hug to her honorary older sister.

“Thanks. And I’m proud of you too.” That was when she heard the organ begin to play. “Well, it’s time.” She leaned down to her daughter, who was the flower filly. Violet, being quite a quiet little foal, was nervous about being the centre of attention, even if it was for a few seconds. “Are you ready, sweetheart?”

Violet gulped, but she nodded her head. She held the basket in her mouth, and opened the tent to walk down the aisle. Rainbow peaked through the tent to see all of the ponies’ reactions to seeing the little filly in her dress. All of the ponies smiled and grinned, some even giggled, and most of them took pictures with the cameras they had.

Next was Scootaloo, who gave one final ‘good luck’ look back to Rainbow. The orange mare went out, wearing her white dress proudly. Everypony was also happy to see the tomboyish mare dressed up so beautifully. As Scootaloo walked down the aisle, she gave a look over to Rumble. Upon making eye contact, she could see his eyes dilate a little. She didn’t know yet, but Rumble had had a crush on her for years, but was too timid to do or say anything about it.

Scootaloo made her way down to the end, and it was finally time for Rainbow to make her way. She took one final breath to calm her nerves, and opened the tent to leave. Everypony in the audience stood up to see her in her beautiful white bride’s dress that Rarity had made. Dash’s mane was styled up, which was quite different from her usual hairstyle, which was mostly not well groomed. She looked to everypony for the pictures. There were about three hundred ponies who came to this happy occasion, which was a huge number, but they were prepared for it. Rainbow knew that her mouth would be sore from smiling both for real and for poses by the end of the day, but that didn’t matter. Her smile was as big as could be and natural when she saw her six main friends, who were all either grinning or watery-eyed because of their pride for their friend.

Finally, though, about halfway down the aisle, she looked towards the face of her groom, who had the biggest smile back to her. He was standing there in his navy-blue suit, and his face showed both of how proud he was of his bride as well as how happy he was to see her beauty.

As Rainbow made her way to the front, she looked sideways up at Soarin with the most natural and beautiful smile she had ever made. Soarin proudly smiled back. They took their place facing each other in front of the audience and the ordained pony.

“Mares and gentlecolts, we are here together for a day of celebration,” the older stallion said. “Today we are here to celebrate the marriage between Soarin and Rainbow Dash. These two have been through it all, yet the things they went through were just more chapters to the story of their lives. Today we will write the biggest chapter of their lives. The two of them will finally become one.”

The ordained stallion looked down at Violet, and said, “Well, it looks like you already became one, but this just makes it official.” The quick joke lightened the mood and made the whole atmosphere feel more intimate. Soarin and Rainbow smiled cheerfully as they looked at each other, and then back to the stallion speaking before them.

“If there is one thing that we will never doubt, it is the love between the two of you. Love can conquer anything, and you two proved it. Even when Rainbow had thought Soarin had died, she still loved him with all of her heart. When Soarin was held captive in Saddle Arabia, he still held on to life in order to see this moment happen.”

Rainbow now had a slight tear in her eyes. She looked to Soarin to see that he did too. She slightly opened her mouth for a smile, and when he looked back to her, she gave him a face that basically said, ‘I caught you.’

The wedding speech went on for a few more minutes, with both jokes being told and serious moments and stories recounted. Finally, it ended with the stallion asking the couple to repeat the marriage vows after him.

First to say the vows was Soarin. “I, Soarin, take you, Rainbow Dash to be my lawfully wedded wife, through better or worse, through happiness and sadness, to love and to honour and to cherish, until death do us part.”

Rainbow was next, and she said, “I, Rainbow Dash, take you, Soarin, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, in sickness or in health, until death…”

She was unable to finish her sentence. Her tears of both happiness and the sadness of her memories made her cry into her front hoof. Soarin used his hoof to push up her chin, and he wiped her eyes with his other hoof. “You can do this, sweetheart.”

Rainbow sniffled, and finished, “Until death do us part.”

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride”

Soarin wiped off the final tears of his bride, and she smiled and giggled with her watery eyes. She then threw her hooves around her husband, kissing him passionately. His eyes were wide open at first, but he then closed them and returned her kiss tenderly. There was hardly a dry eye in the entire audience.

After the long kiss, the sound of applause could probably be heard across the entire region. It took years to happen, but the couple were finally married.

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The reception took place just beyond where the ceremony was held. There was a small break in between the wedding and the reception, so that by the time all of the ponies sat down for dinner, the sunset was soon to happen. There was a delicious four course meal and a desert as well. Soarin happily devoured his pie at the head table.

As the day darkened and the stars began to come out, the area was lit with only the candles on the tables and a few set up lights. Luna’s moon was full and shining down on them, and the stars were plenty on this night. The time had come for the dancing to being. Everypony was using the wedding reception as a time to come together and reunite with old friends.

The time and come for Rainbow and Soarin to engage in their first dance as a married couple. They took to the dance floor as the members of Coltplay went to their instruments.

Soarin and Rainbow both stood up on their hind legs and held hooves to balance each other. Soarin put on arm behind his bride, and she put her hoof over his shoulder. They hooves with their free hoof.

The song started with a quiet acoustic guitar played by the frontstallion Chris. It was the song that both of them chose together that would be played at their wedding. It was a song that was played at the concert they went to years ago, and having the members of their favourite band play it was a dream come true.

Chris stepped up to the microphone as the couple slowly danced together, slowly turning on the temporary wooden floor, with the stars and moon shining on them. The song began, sung in a way that set a very romantic mood as the couple started to dance slowly in the sun. The ponies all around began to watch with smiles.

Rainbow lowered her head onto the shoulder of her groom.

A few different strums on the acoustic guitar were played, and then it went back to the original riffs. “Hold my hoof, inside your hooves. I need someone who understands. I need someone, someone who hears. For you I’ve waited all these years. Without a break in the singing, the electric guitar started to play a few notes, and the harmonica was played as well. “For you I’d wait, til kingdom come. Until my day, my day is done. And say you’ll come, and set me free. Just say you’ll wait, you’ll wait for me.”

Rainbow moved her head back from Soarin’s shoulders to smile at him. The smile said it all. The both of them waited. Rainbow waited without any real hope that Soarin would return, and Soarin waited in prison, hoping he would see her face again.

Rainbow looked into the green eyes of her new husband. He smiled back down at her. "Soarin?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

As the next few lines began, Rainbow put her head back on Soarin’s shoulder. “For you I’d wait, til kingdom come. Until my day, my day is done. And say you’ll come, and set me free. Just say you’ll wait, you’ll wait for me.”

Rainbow looked out to the audience of all of her friends and loved ones, staring with the happiest, most content expressions possible. Scootaloo was especially happy for her hero.

“In your tears, and in your blood. In your fire, and in your flood. I hear you laugh, I heard you sing, and I wouldn’t change a single thing. The wheels just keep on turning. The drummers begin to drum. I don’t know which was I’m going. I don’t know what I’ve become.”

The tempo increased as the end of the song was upon them. It was not only the end of a song, it was the end of a perfect moment; a moment Rainbow wished could last forever. “For you I’d wait, til kingdom come. Until my days, my days are done. Just say you’ll come, and set me free. Just say you’ll wait, you’ll wait for me.”

One final guitar strum and harmonica riff were played, and the song ended with Chris finally repeating, “Just say you’ll wait, you’ll wait for me.”

Rainbow took her head off of Soarin’s shoulders. They took a bow towards each other, thanking each other for the dance that they shared, and all of the ponies applauded.

The dancing on the night went on and on. Rainbow and her main six friends, as well as Spitfire, Fleetfoot, and other mares from Ponyville, danced on the floors for the fast paced songs played by Vinyl, while occasionally coming back to grab partners for the slower songs. Soarin meanwhile sat at a table with his stallion friends, including Rapidfire, Thunderlane and Rumble, Big Mac, and Time Turner. They talked throughout the night about stallion things, like sports and mares, and shared a number of jokes that had a few of them pounding the table and spitting out their drinks.

Eventually, the topic came up about how to ask a mare to dance, which was a hard thing for some stallions to do. One who especially wanted to learn how to ask was Rumble, who had his eyes on Scootaloo for most of the night. He was a young and shy stallion who finally wanted to show enough courage to dance with a mare.

Soarin and Big Mac, being the two married stallions at the table, as well as Time Turner, who was currently dating Derpy, gave Rumble a few pointers on what to do, as well as added a few teasing comments, which didn’t bother the young pegasus too much.

“All you have to do is show courage and ask,” Soarin told Rumble. “Mares like it when you ask. After all, they got all dolled up for this night, it would be a shame if they only danced to fast songs. They want a stallion to ask them to dance.”

“Eeyup,” Big Mac added.

“I don’t know, guys. It’s easier said than done,” Rumble responded.

“Come on, little bro,” Thunderlane commented. “Just do it.”

Rumble worried as the night went on. It was hard for him to get enough courage. Eventually, though, Coltplay, who were playing some of their older and more romantic songs, started to play Yellow. As soon as Rumble heard to hard guitar start, he knew that this was the song that he couldn’t let go to waste. Rainbow ran over and grabbed Soarin to dance, Fluttershy grabbed Big Mac, and Thunderlane went boldly up to Rarity and asked her. The young grey pegasus sucked up his nerves and mustered up enough boldness. He walked up to Scootaloo and boldly asked her dance, at which she opened her eyes wide and gladly accepted.

As they awkwardly but surely managed to get into an optimal slow dancing position, the lyrics began to be played. As the song went on, and all of the couples on the dance floor danced, Scootaloo looked over to Rainbow. The bride smiled both proudly and teasingly at her little sister, who blushed a little.

As the song ended, Rumble thanked Scootaloo. The pegasus mare replied with a slight kiss to his cheek, which also caused him to blush.

Meanwhile, Soarin and Rainbow finished their dance with a kiss as well. It was a long, difficult, and confusing journey for both of them. At times they didn’t know what the future would bring and how things would turn out for them. Rainbow had to spend years thinking she was a widow, and Soarin had to spend years thinking he was never going to see his love again. But as the two of them looked over to their daughter sitting and watching at her seat, they knew it was all worth it in the end. They truly wouldn’t want to change a single thing.

Comments ( 194 )

It would be an honour to reach 10,000 total views by tonight :D

I think that you nailed the chapter title for this one. It's been a wild ride, but this is certainly a perfect conclusion :twilightsmile:

Dude this was a great Grand Finale for an awesome tale. I think you really did it and I hope you keep writing fics as good as this one! You shall be given five stars..erm, Pinkies.
:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

The D'awwwws are strong in this chapter:eeyup::rainbowkiss: and one song that came to mind near the end was "Can you feel the love tonight" by Elton John.

2503604>>2503607 Thanks guys :D

:rainbowkiss: Bravo, man, bravo! *applause*

As you can tell from tons of my comments, I REALLY enjoyed following this story, from beginning to end. I thoroughly enjoyed it and I cannot think of a nicer way of it to end!

And since you asked, I guess I will give out a little review (but I'm not the best at these sort of things.. )
Your strongest point, I believe, was storyline and inspiration. You connected the story well to real-life events, and I also enjoyed the little references, as well as you keeping things realistic for most of the time. It was also a very good story for getting me into the SoarinDash ship, since I was merely skeptical of it beforehand (but it's now one of my favorites...as well as FlutterMac, haha, the fun has been doubled- uh, back on topic.. ). You made a good choice with continuing this story longer than you first intended! Nice grammar, decent pace, handled the "love-making" moments well (seriously, thanks for keeping it clean), just keep practicing it like that!
Now for some weaker points (and just little nit-picks): I felt the character personalities weren't entirely developed, though I mostly saw it in Rainbow Dash. There were also a few, but noticeable moments where she did something in a way I wouldn't actually picture her doing it in my mind. Though because we never actually see her go through a situation like this, it could be justified.
Story detail also changed in amount constantly, where some points were written briefly with little further imagery, while others had more vivid imagery. Though I guess it's alright as well, since the parts that needed it the most ended up getting the larger amount of detail, and that's alright.
Just little nit-picks, though!
I still enjoyed this story, and even saw you improving as you continued writing out chapters. :scootangel: Soooo excited to see sequels!

Also, I have not forgotten the picture of Violet! I just got back from a week-long choir trip, and had to prepare beforehand, and life just got busy, but I will be done with it hopefully this week! I still adore how it's turning out. :D

2503924 Thanks so much for a good review! I 100% agree with what you say is my weaker points. I knew that the whole time but I wanted to stay true to the storyline in my head. I'll try to keep it at a similar pace for the sequel. I kinda wanted Rainbow to change a little, because she's my favourite pony but I have a different fantasy version of her which is a little nicer than the canon version, if that makes sense. So I kinda wanted her to get nicer when she finally got a date. Hopefully that makes sense.
Also, thanks for drawing Violet! I can submit it to my blog post if you would like when you're done.

2503967 Haha, Rainbow Dash is my favorite as well! And I see what you mean. Personally, I actually could see her become more like the way you portrayed her if she ever were to accomplish her dreams, advance in her life like this, and after getting struck hard from reality/tragedy. I kinda see it as I see people in real life: we're all foolish, arrogant, and playful until we realize our values and responsibilities.
That would be nice! I'm more of an artist than a fanfic writer in general, haha.

2504044 And I suck at art, so we're a good combo lol.

Absolutely beautiful. I demand a sequel.

2504126 Ah. Ok I'll give you a follow then. No shame in self advertising to me!
That's way better than I can do!

2504054 Excuse me for the shameless self-advertising, but my deviantart for pony pics is sweetangeldelight.deviantart.com :) There aren't much, but the pics I have uploaded so far are there. Just reassurance for what sort of quality you should be expecting.

2504126 Ah. Ok I'll give you a follow then. No shame in self advertising to me!

Thanks for all the constant nice comments.

Well, that ends now. Here is my review...

Things I like...
1) Soarin' x Dash ship.:rainbowkiss::heart::rainbowwild:
2) Over 70,000 words in four months, you deserve a standing ovation just for that.:twilightsmile:
3) ...I can't really think of anything else that stood out to me...umm...they lived happily ever after? *Shrugs*:applejackunsure:

Critques and criticism...

1) Pacing: ...Where did it go half way trough this story? It started well enough; you introduced us to the characters, their lives, and the world around them. However, after Soarin' went off to war every chapter following that event was filled depression, sadness, and generally just things that did nothing to help proceed the story, plot or developement of the characters...which leads me to my next point.

2) Characterization/Character development: ...Again, this aspect of writing follows almost the same path as the pacing you set up. You show us RD hopes/aspirations and the you show us Soarin's dreams and aspiration, this in turn sets up their character. When they meet, their relationship develops and it grows, you throw in a couple of hitches along the way with Spitfire and a few other things that I can't remember at this point, but this is actually a good thing. It adds drama and shows the fragility of that relationship and its ability to change. But yet again, these aspects grow stale in the huge gap that you put in when Soarin' went off to war. That's just the development of the characters, the actual characterization of these characters was actually a little annoying. I think you were trying to hard to create drama that wasn't actually there. I know you were trying to get across that sometimes life can be sad, but you didn't have to make your characters shed tears every time you were trying to do that. There were an abundance of tears shed by the characters, so much so that I'm pretty sure it would be impossible to count. This chapter solidifies it too, just count how many times a character shed a tear...Go on, I dare you.:raritywink:

3) Plot: ...Not really complaining on this department, if we exclude the overly emotional characters and wack pacing, the story itself is not really that faulty. If I were to complain about anything, it would be that Soarin' somehow survived even after his heart stopped beating, which seems a little cliche, but whatevs. *Shrugs again*:applejackunsure:

My biggest fault against this story would be the pacing, you can't have chapters where nothing happens that doesn't progress the story. Have you ever read a manga or watched an anime where it just seemed like pointless talking between the hero and the villain? That shows poor plot progression and bad pacing. DBZ (Although it is awesome) is a great example of pointless banter that does nothing for the story. Just go ahead and re-watch the original fight between Freeza and Goku, you'll see what I mean.

Go ahead and watch this video, although it has to do with the story of a video game, it's still a story and it helped me out a lot in my own writing...

I loved it!!! It's by far on of the best SoarDash fics EVER and I rate this awesome amazing beeping awesome story a 1000/1000!!!!!!!!

Found more videos that explain characters, characterization, and development of characters that goes more in depth than my previous comment did that will possibly help you with your writing in the future.:twilightsmile:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_12544&feature=iv&src_vid=3-2fDJee7ME&v=tqKm0HdCLR8] If Digibrony's does not load properly, try to find that. It probably goes the most in depth of the three. There is an annotation in the beginning of BronyCurious' video that will take you straight there.

I can only echo what everyone else has said. Good job. A crazy, sad, cute, happy ride. All the emotions and a satisfying conclusion. :rainbowkiss:

Cheers.

BEST STRAIGHT SHIPFIC EVER!

2504618 Thanks. I get 100% what you are saying. It will be hard for me to improve, though, because that's how I've written for most of my life. BUT, I will try my best. :twilightsmile:
2504625 Thanks so much! :pinkiehappy:
2504919 Thanks and cheers as well! Thanks for the cover art as well.
2505350 I wouldn't go that far, it probably wasn't the best, but thanks so stinking much! :moustache:

Yay! 10,000 total views! I never would have expected that.

2505350 WHAT HE SAID! :pinkiehappy:

This story can make a man cry ....but not me tear get back in there

This has been a great story and the feels I've had for this story make me smile today :twilightsmile: I cried, I laughed, and now I'm just smiling :pinkiehappy: If I ever have a bad day I'm coming to this story to remind me of the person I am right now. Thank you for not quitting on this story :yay:

A loyal reader
Joseph Rascon :twilightsmile:

2510804>>2510804>>2508913 Thanks guys!

2512738 You're not the only one to say that :)
I cried writing it because I was really emotional that night and listening to sad rock songs.

2513354 Lol I was wondering what are you saying but then I realised you're only halfway through haha.

2521363 Oh, thanks for reading and thanks for finding the mistake!

2522163 Wow! I'm glad you like it that much! That's an honour to me!

Just as Soarin leaned in, Rainbow stopped him. "Wait... We're outside. What if somepony sees us? What if the princesses watch us?"
Soarin whispered in her ear, "Then they'll like what they see..."

PRINCESS MOLESTIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH!!!!!:trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:

2522463 To be honest, writing this made me feel better after I went through a lot of crap too. It gave me my inspiration. I'm glad you like it!

A perfect conclusion for the perfect story
even though I didnt read the whole story because I saw that it was sad in some chapters but I only read the last chapter and it was really good
btw I'm sorry if there are errors in this comment I think I got them all but just to be Shure I'm using a kindle fire and the keyboard is very craly ugh there we go again. And its difficult to edit so sorry for errors
but other than that good story I hope you confiunue
writing
ugh Stupid keyboard!!!!!!!!

2525920 Thanks for reading! The sad chapters actually are really sad. I cried writing them, I'm not going to lie. But I had a really good idea and I stuck with it.

I don't usually read any love stories but i enjoyed reading it and It might sound like I am lying but I didn't shed a single fucking tear.

2541866 Uh you sure? it sounds like your lying.

Great you made my keyboard all wet, now I have to get a towel, love the story, will always remember it...:pinkiesad2:

2572628 Thanks, I'm glad you like it that much. Hopefully your keyboard is wet with tears and not something else XD

I'm about 1/3 done the first chapter of the sequel by the way.

1,000 first chapter views, 11,500 total views, and 112 thumbs up. :pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss::raritystarry::twilightsmile::moustache:
Never thought I'd make it this far! Thanks guys. Sequel will be out soon, just delayed a little because I've been stressed out with work, college, and both professional sports and the teams I play on. It will come soon, though.

2572657 really? I can't wait for it to come out, don't leave me hanging!:twilightsmile:

2575924 It's awaiting approval :twilightsmile:

Well, I gotta say, that was brilliant. *slowly claps*
Had me hooked from start to finish, really, you did a great job with this, as you've probably heard before :rainbowlaugh:

very nicely done :DDD

Comment posted by pickymice deleted May 17th, 2013

wel... i'm glad i decided to skim through after awhile cuz i soarindash like no other but this was....well to put it very kindly at the very least...everything was WAAAAAAAAAAAY to OOC as in everypony! like i saw me being a total winey wimpy bitch which is NOT COOL! so sorry but this fic is not for me. E for effort though!

2588872 Yeah, like I was educated in pony sexual reproduction :P
But Rainbow isn't whiney and wimpy, she actually is very strong and moves on. I'm pretty sure you'd cry if your fiancé died! But, alas, thanks for the honesty.

Thanks so so much for writing such an amazing story! It was honestly one of the best fan fics I have ever read. I am greatly looking forward to any sequels when they come out! Keep making amazing content!

2595401 Wow, thanks so much! My sequel is a work in progress and will updated hopefully weekly, and I am currently writing another (but totally unrelated) fanfic, but that one is probably going to be one of the saddest stories ever written, not going to lie. I just hope I get the emotion right.

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