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I feel as if she's in an coma and once she wakes up it will be sad for her
on the other note, I love this clopfic can't wait for next update

"her golden sky carriage (of awesomeness)"

1610336
I'd feel more sorry for the nurses with all the sheets they need to clean.

I really hope that another chapter will take place in the "play room"
This is a really good and enjoyable clopfic (which I usually detest).
Keep up the good work.

...Charlotte is a very unfaithful girl isn't she?
There will be much drama if Redheart catches word of this.
Awaiting further releases.

She should've taken her Chance with her, poor stallion must be lonely.

1610614 Total nymph, can't stay with the same pony for even one day. But heck, knowing that you've got the options, I'd kinda want to try that route myself if I could live my life over.

1610615 Ahh, the trials of being sent to another dimension without being able to pack the essentials. Tragic, really. (Come on kiddo, how many times do you pack a dildo in your suitcases? It's easier, and lighter, to pack a few condoms and find a local guy. Most men respond to 'Hey, I'm looking for a fun time, care to show me one?' While smiling in as knowing a fashion as you can. (Thaylien's going to laugh at me for saying that, I couldn't ever force myself to do it IRL... )

Although I thoroughly enjoyed this, she is getting things her way way to easy. It's to simple.

You know, Mayor Mare has always been a cougar in my headcanon.

Her name 'Mare' just means 'Grown Woman,' she's in a position of power, and she apparently dyes her naturally youthful pink hair grey/silver to look more mature and experienced.

Plus, every politician has their own personal sex dungeon. It is impossible to get voted into office without one.

1610660
In a dating sim that would work, seeing as you have saves at your disposal.
Try that in real life...things will not be that great.

You have no idea how uncomfortable I feel reading this.

AND IT'S AMAZING

But then again, I hate myself for liking this.

I'm a terrible person.

Also, FOOK YAH, NEW CHAPTER

Dayum! I've read my fair share of clop but that was one of the hottest ones ever. You've got talent.

sky carriage (of awesomeness)

I have now seen that used throughout many fics. and here I thought that TTEOAP had that term trademarked
I can't imagine what would be next....Lyra/Bon Bon? Octavia/Vinyl? One of the Mane SIx? Carrot Top?? Who knows?!?

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NEW CHAPTER... I love you right now. Well, as much as is normal for a complete stranger on a MLP fanfiction site.
*Cough*
Anyways can't wait to read this when time allows, will edit with any thoughts if I have em.

Well.
That was interesting.

~thumbs up~

I like that you're choosing side characters for these little romps, quick and easy as they might be. Makes me wonder if she'll hit up on a stallion at all, or if she'll only stick to mares. Nice nod to Derpy, too!

1611748 That'd be telling. But to be honest, yes, this chapter was actually mostly to prove to the doubters that she could take a stallion when she comes around to it. Wait and see

So...much...AWESOME! Meh, I'm doomed to hell anyway, so I'll throw this out there, any chance of Spike or just mares? just asking because I've seen soooo many humanXpony, but none with him (probably because there's only 2 female character fics out there, that I know of anyway)

Hmm, what's next, a three-way with Lyra and Bon Bon? A three-way with the Spa Twins?
OH! A four-way with the Flower Trio!

This chapter was way better than the last.

Her rump was now presented to the mirror and that silver tail whisked to the side playfully, showing Char the results; two big round bases, easily several inches in diameter, protruded from her holes,

Unless by "several" you mean "around 3" (and that's "stretching" it), yeah right. If you meant circumference, not diameter, or centimeters, not inches (she is a Brit). "Several inches" does not describe "smallish".

I'll also say that I found the Mayor's assertion that the room was meant to be used on her, followed by her willingness to use it on another, and her satisfaction at that, to be quite off. If you want to sub, and you finally get someone in your dungeon, and you have to dom, that sucks. I'd recommend changing or removing the line about the Mayor intending to have the room used on herself.

I got it! A scene with Fleur de Lis!. You hardly ever see any fics with her in it.

Great story, have a fav! Very well written and of course, the plot is great..

Oooh! Carrot Top next! Or Raindrops!

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AND I LOVE IT!!!!! MAOR!!!

1612159 Thank you for the nod to improvement, but I kinda think you're picking out stuff just to be awkward now.

First point, I'm a Brit, we've had inches longer than the USA has had a continent, and I said exactly what I meant. Several inches in diameter is 'smallish' compared to both, a. the pony, and b. the eighteen inch long, 'slightly reduced' stallion replica she then straps on. Context, chum-bum, and also setting up for the bigger one.

Second point, this may be a new concept for you, so I'm going to try not to be too sarcastic, but people can be [gasp] both. From experience of both myself, my partner and my friends, peoples preferences towards sub/dom, straight/bi, and even how they feel about some of their specific fetishes can vary from partner to partner and situation to situation. I always thought I wanted to be sub, myself, find a strong man to sweep me off my feet, into the air, and then lower me right onto his shaft and have his way with me while I'm helpless. Experience has taught me that I like dom just as much, but wouldn't have thought to try it until the situation came up. Also, experience has taught me that, while I'm with a man, I don't find other men attractive. I'm with him because I fell in love first, and got physical second, but that's what made my dating life so non-existent before; I'd been looking for a man, but preferred women and simply didn't realise until I'd had a few, very open, conversations with my girls and with him.

People are turned on by a lot of things, keep an open mind.

So thanks again for the feedback, but I think I won't be changing it.

Oh boy. That meeting with the princess... I do hope things don't get too out of hand, the princess somehow finding out, regretting her decision to let her stay..

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1613895

I never asked you to change it. I offered feedback on my impressions of what I read. Advice=/=demands.
And I don't see how you can consider my points awkward when THIS STORY.

As for the Mayor D/s thing, of course one can enjoy both. But when one builds an entire room for the purpose of subbing, and only one opportunity to use it comes around in who knows how many years, and that opportunity is to Dom, not sub. Well of course you take what you can get and enjoy it to the fullest. Just saying it kinda sucks for the Mayor that she still hasn't had her turn in the shackles.

As for the several inches thing, no. Your sizing is messed up. The average horse (not pony, horse) penis is 2.5 to 3 inches in diameter. "Several" is defined as "3 or more, but not many". If you want to use unrealistic measurements for your sex toys, feel fee. But don't pretend they're not unrealistic.

1614880 Pardon me, but my reaction to this was the sound effect 'Snrkt...' I said 'be awkward', not your points are awkward, synonyms 'be contrary' or 'be picky'. See? I'm perfectly willing to discuss, and be humourous about it too, but it's kind of hard when the phrases don't make the culture divide...

No, okay, to be fair, you're right about Mayor Mare, and I'll make it up to you on that one; one certifiable sub scene in a later chapter, you've won me over on that, I'll deliver (and enjoy it every line). But you do come off remarkably... what would the word be... Officious? With your comments? I don't know how best to say it without using British phrasing that may not translate, but your words have an edge of demand to them, that's why I got a little sarcastic with you.

As for my earlier 'Snrkt', that was for the 'don't pretend they're unrealistic'. I'm laughing, but in the way somebody does when they know something and you've just made a comment that they can counter with proof, I'm not laughing at you directly. My thoughts after the little laugh were 'somebody hasn't ever been to Bad Dragon'. Okay, to explain, I'll present to you Exhibit A: Chance. That there is the model of toy referenced in these chapters. Note the shape, note the base. The diameter of the head and the shaft on the Large, as you can see, are 2.9 and 2.8 inches, respectively, very realistically fitting your own estimates there. The base, however, is much, much bigger. And to further my point, you'll notice that I didn't actually describe the ones used on the mayor at all, barring that measurement of the base. Realistic? My dear DPV, I'm working from actual toys here, available for people to buy and enjoy. That's where my measurements are coming from. But hey, it's a niche thing, you could easily be one of the hundreds of millions that's never been to that site, because you're not interested in that kind of toy.

In addition to the shaped toys there on that site, toys for being mounted in straps generically have a larger base, compared to any of the hand-held models you'll see in the back of a certain lingerie shop that I won't advertise for here, this is so that they have to have an area that can be gripped by the straps, and so that they don't run the risk of slipping inside a girl and potentially causing injury when attached by metal. In fact, most 'shaped' toys, of the same kind of description as Chance, have a base that's often far larger than the shaft, so that it can be used hands-free, braced on the floor. It's common sense to not immediately think that the size of the base is not the size of the toy all the way down, although I've found when watching them in use that the effect of seeing just a big, chunky base has people assuming that it's that big right through and can be a bit more of a turn on with that fantasy there.

Anyway, let's call this a truce, I won't get sarcastic at you any more and ruin your reading after-glow, and you can try make your advice sound like advice instead of the offhand dismissal of my writing. Deal?

1615448

Yeah, sorry about that. My tone gets a little oppressive sometimes. I deal with a lot of aggressive people so I tend to slip into that style of communication unconsciously.
Really, I only seek clarification, not compliance.
Which you have provided, thanks.

1615448 I'd just say, take a closer look at the toy (custom stallion toys as that is what's being discussed atm). The 'Base' is the balls and sheath (and, despite what ICP says, the nuts [and sheath] are not people, so don't stuff them in there too), but, even then, when strap-ons are devised and made, they have a kind of 'plate' (meaning its something more like a saucer rather than just a wider end [because with a wider end, you'd have a large portion of dildo jutting up against you pelvis which is very uncomfortable {especially if you're a guy going for the solo-double-penetration}]) which expands enough to prevent any further forward movement.

Long story short, Mayor Mare should have the size that she can fit in just past the medial ring, but not far enough to reach the sheath. Any further than that and she needs larger size.

1615548 Don't worry, it bothered me, too

EDIT: Oh, also. Gusta

I usually keep away from HiE stories, but you did a fantastic job! Thumbs up! I look forward to see where this heads.

1615448
Well done, I've now bought chance, for science of course, ;3

You found my fetish!!! Thanks so much!

bondage yay.
I hope this fic will go down the soft-fetish road

1635318 You sound disappointed.

1585620 Yeah, you would have needed to exterminate those racists yourself, seeing as how the crocked-as-an-Alabama-fence attorney general refuses to prosecute black hate groups.

It's not minorities that are a problem, not at all, so don't say that. In fact, the Republican party has higher number of successful women and minorities than the Liberal-Progressive party (formerly known as Democrats), who claim to be their purveyors and protectors, does, No, the problem is the walking dead with derogatory and detrimental mentalities. But how would over-crowding at the water park be a problem? I thought the pool was always closed.

Christian 'THE POOL IS CLOSED' Harisay

Is there going to be a Celestia one? Please tell me there's going to be a chapter with Celestia.

When's the next chapter

As much as I dislike HiE stories as simple wish-fulfilment, you were pretty up front about that in the description. That, combined with this being a female HiE story, and you definitely piqued my interest. Despite Redheart being higher on my personal hotness meter (glasses on girls are ten kinds of hot, but come on man, NURSE! ), I have to say that this was the superior chapter. This bodes well for future chappies, especially if Octavia makes an appearance (hint, hint!).

The writing itself is very good. No grammatical mistakes noticed, and all the T's are crossed and I's dotted. It flows well, and descriptions are rich. You also seem to have conquered the "Lavender Mare Syndrome" with which I still struggle. I honestly can find only one thing to complain about, and that is he thinness of the ::ahem:: plot. You have a great setup and execution, but not a lot seems to be happening other than clop. Clop in and of itself isn't bad, but if you consider it the pudding, and the plot to be the meat, to quote Pink Floyd, "How can you have any pudding until you eat your meat?" Seeing as this is only two chappies in, and you did say that you weren't out to create the next great American (or in this case, British?) novel, and you could be bulding up to something pretty big, I'll just hold my tongue on that for now. However, a story of this caliber deserves more.

All in all, a good read, and I'm anxious for the next installment.

Can you refer me to more female HiE clops then?

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Lesbian smut is simply not a kink I possess; if I can't directly head-insert myself, the scene is less engaging. (WTF am I doing in this fandom, again?)

That said, this is the most sensually erotic anything I can remember ever reading. I really hope I don't come across as sexist when I say I'm not used to women glomming so seamlessly onto my mental predilections.

This is an excellent piece of prose for its own sake. You deserve every last word of praise you garner from it, Ireyah.

So thanks for that.

All I can really say, without sounding lie a silly little f ker is: awesome story for its genre, idea and other stuff that I am too sleepy to be bothered with.

Yes Period
Now just add some watersports, erotic asphyxiation, mid air sex, orgy, military fighter jets, squirting, auto cunillingus, foalcon, and rainbow dash. Then my friend will you have found my true sexual fetish.
PS I have very specific sexual fetishes
PPS dont tell jaydex he can never know the inner workings of my mind
Now have a mustache

Daaaaaaaaaaaamn, glad I'm a fillyfooler 3 moustaches for awesome erotica

666 likes

One of the first clopfics I read. I remember reading this when only the Nurse Red heart was up. Really sad to see this turn out like my own vampony fic: two years without an update. But maybe like me, you hit that dreaded Creative Wall. Really hope to see a few more chapters cranked out of this. This is a rare type of clop, one that surprisingly runs right in my fetishes zone. I applaud you.