OH YES

Eh, for a human on pony story(speaking as this is the first i've ever read) It isn't bad.

But I guess it's the writer in me screaming"WHERE'S THE PLOT?!" if i ignore the screaming(which is really hard btw) it's actually a very good story.

Great work! I'd say you definitely succeeded here.

1576918
What kind of "plot"?

I think this is the second fic I've ever seen with a female HIE theme. Why aren't there more things like this? Ah well, I'll just enjoy this one, it's good.

1576918 I tried to explain it in the description, this is a relatively non-existent plot, I'm really not in the mood to go deep on character development or waste precious clopping time on exposition of a plot that people will honestly not care too much about.

Sure, it helps, but I just don't need the hassle while writing something that gets me a little weak in the knees to begin with.

"Once you clop, you can't stop?" Bullcrap, I just gone 4 days without feeling a bit of lust towards anything!

1577932 Well aren't you a special little snowflake?

Me, I like a regular release, it's good for a body. Luckily for me, then, that I have somebody to take care of that for me

Great story! Like a pornographic "Last Brony Get's His Wish", except from a female perspective. Why is it that there aren't as many female HiE stories? Anyway, good job!

1578254 Because most of the fanbase seems to be males...

I agree with the cover pic

1578059 My clopping has a point to it, in the end I hope to have achieved my goal... ATTRACTION!

Rofl.... i'm serious.

Alright, review time:

First off, the grammar is spectacular, the format is done properly and you are pacing the story nicely. Many stories forget the honorable rule of Show, Don't Tell but yours is a good example on how it can be done right. Seeing a story where the main character is female is a nice and refreshing change in the HiE category considering the majority of MCs are males, and I really had hopes for this one because of this. But that is where my praise ends.

Honestly, your story strongly reflect cases of self insert and wish-fulfillment, not to mention that the character is dangerously close to being (if not already is) a Mary Sue judging by how ridiculously easy everything goes for her, e.g., characters are instantly falling for her and she gets to fuck them on the same day. I wouldn't be surprised if Lyra later appears in the story and she has an unhealthy obsession with anything human. Seeing how the story is described it didn't really surprise me that things turned out the way they did. I won't fault you for that though, since you clearly stated:

I cannot be bothered to make it deep and enthralling, just cohesive and cloppy.

Nothing wrong with that. At least you're honest about what the plot is about and you're not trying to make it look like it's the best story ever like many other authors.

All in all, not the worst story I have ever seen, but not the most interesting either. By all means, keep up your work.

Warning: Female HiE and Clop, because we don't have enough of that, I feel.

WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING.

- Christian 'Sober and Irrelevant' Harisay

YES! female HIE fic we need more of these! xD

1577932 I've gone through 6 days without clopping and by day 3 vaccum cleaners were starting to look attractive
But yes, we need more HiE fics with female protagonists . . . with clop of course!

Raw, pretense free, vanilla clop. Huh.

Finally a female HiE fic I have waiting for a good one of those.

I don't really like HiExPony (bestiality much?), but I still had to like this and favorite it, because the concept of female HiE (clop or not) is so rare, it's like searching for a rose in a pile of broken glass. But it would be waaay better with a story.

Also, congrats on getting featured.

Yay, fem HiE! Been waiting for one of these! Hope you plan on updating frequently!

I must say, this is really good!
And I don't just mean the clop, the whole thing is really well written and impeccably detailed in all the right ways.

I hope that you continue writing both this casually fun fic as well as any other you have a mind too! I suspect that you would do will no matter what kind you choose to write!

Also, thank you... I seem to have just learned of a new technique that I can't wait to try out

scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw299_1298776425927.jpg

EXCELLENT MADAM! We require more fictitious human hijinx!

it was good nuff said i dont usually post unless i have something positive to say

Maybe some people clopped, but I was laughing waaaay too hard for that. Dunno why but I simply find this hilarious as all hell.

"Sex: Yes please, I mean, uh, female..." OH GAWD I LOL'D. Also, did you misspell 'adorable' as 'adorkable' on purpose? Because if you did you are freaking awesome. Hilarious pun is hilarious. If not, Freudian slip ftw.

Good stuff, look forward to reading more, thanks for sharing!

1578674 OH LAWD MY SIDES THEY BURRRRRN

About time someone did it.

o my got keep this up and ill have to follow you

It might not be a riveting adventure story, but that was quite well written. Not everything needs to be heavy on story to be good.

I've wanted something like this for awhile. It's hard for female cloppers to find good stuff around here, and I'm glad someone's taken up the challenge.

What in all heck has happened here?! I'm... featured?!

1578847 You're welcome, trust me it worked on me, 1578912 Yes it was on purpose, 'adorkable' is a word now, I helped invent it, 1578508 Actually, yes, I want Lyra in an unhealthy way, she's a cutie, but no, I don't subscribe to the whole 'Lyra has a thing for humans', it doesn't seem right to me. Thanks for the review and the support! And 1578773 It's Xenophilia sweetheart, not Beastiality, but thankyou, and thanks for letting me know about the Featured... I'm honestly stunned.

I'm worried now that I won't be able to keep up with regular updates that'll keep people interested, after this kind of reception I... well... wow, guys and girls, just wow... Thank you all!

You just got your hundredth thumb! (courtesy of me) Congratz!

Not much for actual plot, but who cares? Well written my friend!

I was just thinking it's like an alternate version to Lez Ponies 1578572

1579216
I honestly thought my review would at the very least be taken offensive; but I'm glad it wasn't. And you're writing a HiE and you're not making Lyra a frothing, Terra-obsessed maniac? I think my day just got a little brighter.

Heavens forbid she ever lay eyes upon Big Macintosh.

well this is weird BUT I LOVE IT

I was reading this in class on my phone and had to stop if you know what I mean. It could have gotten weird and awkward fast.

"Chapter 1; Nurse Redheart. (Why does she not have an icon anymore?!)"

I am assuming because she isn't an official character used in canon.
Sad, isn't it?

Well written but somewhat disturbing when you consider the story beyond the clop (which was quite tasteful and believable, physically, and the anatomy was less humanized than usual, kudos).
Basically it's disturbing to see a character so completely obsessed with their erotic fantasies that they would pursue a sexual encounter with a pony so automatically. And I'm not sure I want to read about a character who is that fucked up. Even as into clop as she is, I don't see any rational person's priority at that point being "fuck a pony".
The physical attraction might exist (as it would with anyone she defined as attractive) but while the eventual possibility of such an encounter would be a consideration, it should definitely be the farthest thing from her mind If she had just woken up in a cartoon she loves after being found completely brutalized.
She's been conscious in Equestria for like 2 days and she's already fucked a named side character. Clop is clop but that's just silly.
The best qualifier to judge believability is: would she act the same way with a human?

Also, 1 typo.

The idea of somehow arriving in the once place her

one

YES!

1578572 I know, right? Only dudes should be allowed in the land of sunshine and ponies! RAWR I'M A CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN.

But seriously; I don't mind HiE when it's done right. And I don't mind sauciness when it's clever. In fact, I've actually commented on 'Lez Ponies' stating that I liked it for the most part. (Not sure if you ever read it, though.) *checks* Oh! there's a new chapter! Gimme a minute...

I don't even mind mild clop every now and then when a story handles it well and it drives a good story forward. What I mind is clop for the sake of clop. And this...

Perhaps it's just the severity. One reason why I like your story is the way it uses the interest of intimacy and unstable character interactions as a device for some very cleverly written awkward humor, and because it doesn't exist to have thoroughly described scenes where either Kate or Fluttershy is eating out the other like their coochie was a breakfast in a burrito in a pipe. Or take for example I love bands like In Flames and Deftones, but I loath Asking Alexandria and Dilinger Escape Plan with the fiery burning passion of a thousand suns.

And as long as we're being honest, I actually am a conservation republican. And I want a breakfast burrito. (Those things are goooood.)

- Christian 'Post-Election Blues' Harisay

media.tumblr.com/tumblr_logukwq7a71qzp2d2.gif
I like it.

Oh how wish I'd been reading this in the privacy of my own room. Sure, 1579394 had a point about it being a bit disturbing how obsessed she was about her fantasies and jumping straight to "I am a human," "I am a pony," "I am attracted to you, and you touched my boobs," "We should fuck," "Indeed!" Really though? This was still incredibly arousing.

I'll definitely be keeping an eye on this.

1579963

Hey, I did say the clop was really well done.

1579967 I know, that's why I enjoyed it so much. I just wish I could have enjoyed it a bit more, if you catch my meaning.

1579974

Hmm. Personally I found it very erotic, but it left me with a pleasant happy feeling, not a burning desire to dehydrate myself.
Very little clop actually gives me the urge to clop. I just enjoy reading sex scenes.

1579996 Doesn't help when you're reading them in a public place, am I right?

1580004

Well other than being embarrassed if someone read over my shoulder, it makes no difference to me. I have practiced enough detachment to avoid unwanted biological reactions.
It's funny. I occasionally see people reading Shades of Grey on the bus

Continue.

What can I say that has not been said already? This story is really well written, and I am looking forward to more from the look of that "Incomplete" tag.
Will you be making more stories of this cloppyness?

1576759 Do you just first every single fic that is on new releases then delete all that don't become either popular or infamous?