First Time for Everything
In the Wonderbolts locker room, everything seemed to be perfectly normal during after hours. Everything except for a pair of ponies sneaking forward to meet each other in the center of the large room. Normally, everypony would already have left for the day, choosing to go home to their friends and families. For two ponies however, it was a special day, and they had to be very discreet about what they were about to do.
It was, after all, why they had chosen this secluded place to meet in the first place; they knew that nopony would be here, and thusly, they would be safe from scrutinizing eyes. Sure, a lot of ponies liked to do this sort of thing with each other in their free time. Two famous ponies doing such a thing however would be seen as scandalous, and ruin their public image forever! A pair of athletes on the same team, especially if one was the other's supervisor, would probably make newspaper headlines within a day.
Spitfire looked nervously back and forth; normally she wouldn't be worrying, and would be her normal, spunky self. Today however, she had to be as careful as possible to avoid the eyes of any onlookers; even Soarin' was feeling on edge. She didn't want any of the press to get a hold of this, not only because it would be a huge scandal, but also because it was her first time ever. She wanted it to feel amazing and special, just like one would see in movies or surfing through those late night chanels, searching for something to watch.
"I think we're clear..." Soarin' whispered, leaning in close to Spitfire's ear.
Chills of anticipation rocketed through her spine as she imagined the pleasure that she would experience within a few minutes. She could just imagine the taste and texture of it in her mouth; the glorious juices blasting through her and leaving her breathless. She couldn't wait; this had to happen right now! Casting a last glance around the empty room, she turned to address Soarin'.
"A-are you ready? Are we ready for this? I've never done this before... You're going to have to take charge."
"No problem!" Soarin' shouted, suddenly regaining his confidence at the assurance that nopony else was within earshot.
Slowly, he brought his goods out, letting them rest gently on the floor. He felt a strange sense of excitement and anticipation coursing through him as he gazed at her beautiful features. She was so smooth! So tender looking! Without even knowing it, drool started to make its way out of his open mouth, as he subconciously let his tongue droop out of his mouth. He couldn't wait anymore; he couldn't take it! He took off, starting to rush at her before she stopped him in his tracks.
"Hey, this is my first time. That means that I get to go first. Let me have a go," she cockily stated, regaining her confidence once again.
"Okay, just be careful," Soarin' uttered worriedly.
It wasn't that he didn't like her, it was just that it was her first time. She was inexperienced, and he was about to let her handle his goods by herself. She just always had to take charge, even at a special time like this. He just hoped that she wouldn't damage them or hurt herself somehow. He knew Spitfire; she could find a way.
She pulled herself closer, eyeing it with wonder. She had never imagined that they could be so big! How was she even supposed to fit this thing inside of her mouth? Surely that wasn't something that normal pony could do, nopony had a mouth that large! Maybe if she just...
"Like what you see?" Soarin' interrupted with a smirk, "Or just don't know what to do?"
"Hey! I know what I'm doing! How hard could it be?"
She lowered her mouth to it, giving it a little nibble to test it out. Immediately her head shot up, almost conking Soarin' in the face; it was delicious! Why didn't ponies do this all the time?! She quickly brought her head back down, viciously licking it with a fiery passion that brought her namesake justice. Soarin' watched in amazement, a low, throaty moan escaping from his lips as he watched helplessly in ecstasy. She may have been inexperienced, but she was working it really well! Soarin' eyed her hungrily.
As much as he was interested in what was going on, he also wasn't feeling... He wasn't feeling as fullfilled as he thought he should. She just didn't know what she was doing! He'd have to take control of the situation and show her just how it was supposed to be done. Slowly and gently, he pushed Spitfire away, as she landed on her back, legs splayed out in all different directions.
"You're not doing it right. Let me show you how it's supposed to be done," Soarin' whispered into her ear, sending chills down her fur.
He eyed, the glorious form before him for a moment, gazing in awe. He had never seen a more magnificant specimen before! Everything considered, she was better than any other that he had ever viewed in his life. It was getting him excited, and he felt the need to start the vicious attack immediately. He lowered his face, nibbling slowly on it and savoring the moment, eliciting a gasp from Spitfire. Slowly, he began to lower his face even more, coming close up to it and getting a better view.
It looked so... delicious. Taking the initiative, he plunged his face into it, started to lick and eat excitedly. This caught Spitfire off guard, and with a magnificent erruption of the juice of all things good, delicious, and holy, she exploded. Copious volumes of the miracle liquid splattered about the room, coating everything and making a huge mess.
"S-soarin'! S-stop! You're making too much of a mess! We'll have to clean this up! Stop being so sloppy!" Spitfire gasped at the unbelievable mess before her.
Soarin' just continued to eat her out, ignoring all of his surroundings, with Spitfire's pleas falling on deaf ears. She knew that she was close to being finished; she'd have to get in on this soon to get the maximum pleasure! Quickly, she brought her hoof down, rubbing it in the glossy liquid that was now coating the outside. Bringing her hoof up to her mouth, she licked the substance, absolute pleasure rocketing through her body at the taste.
She could feel it, that sense of satisfaction and fullfillment, the sense of enjoyment that everypony had always described to her before. Why had she never thought to do this before? Especially with a pro like Soarin' as a partner. It was reaching its climax; she was about to be finished! She felt it welling up inside her! Finally, it exploded out, spraying Soarin's face, and causing him to back away.
"Eww! That's so gross Spitfire! Geeze!" Soarin' complained.
"Oh come on! Have you even looked at yourself?" Spitfire qucikly retorted.
His face was covered in her juice, some of it dripping off of his face and onto the floor; his mane was messy looking and unkempt, something that nopony had ever seen from the famous athlete. Spitfire looked even more unkempt, if that was at all possible with how little work that she had actually performed. She looked at the mess around the room and sighed to herself. This was going to be a lot of trouble to clean up, and they would have to be quick and discreet about it so that nopony would find out about what they had done.
Soarin' casted a smirk towards Spitfire before addressing her, "So, did you like it? Did you have fun?"
"Yeah. I can't believe I've never done that before! It was so amazing!" she said, giving him a gentle smile back.
"It's not something that you can do all the time ok? People will start to think really badly of you if you do. Just save it for special ocassions ok?"
"Oh alright. Thanks for showing how great that was though."
Spitfire looked at the empty, messy tin lying on the floor in between them. Who knew that it could have tasted so good or been so filling? It had been great, even if Soarin' had lost his control and eaten most of it himself; she couldn't blame him though, he was a fanatic after all. Slowly, she and Soarin' made their way over to a supply closet, pulling out a mop and a bucket of soapy water.
"Geeze Soarin', did you have to go so crazy and lose control like that? I mean, I can see why you like pie now, but now we have to clean this whole mess up! How'd you even get cherry juice on the ceiling?" Spitfire huffed with the mop in her mouth.
Soarin' merely gazed at her sheepishly before replying, "Sorry... You know how much I go crazy for pie... I can't get enough of it, and that one was de-li-cious!"
"Just help me clean up this mess, and try to be more careful next time. Nobody needs to know that a pro athlete is ruining her figure by eating pies all the time! Besides, with all this mess? Who knows what somepony would think that they saw if they had seen us doing that before?" Spitfire stated.
"Yeah, I can imagine that would have sounded pretty bad... It woulda sounded like we were-"
Soarin's sentence was cut short by the sound of rustling wings. From behind a corner in the hallway, a rainbow blur rocketed out, soaring quickly into the sky.
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Dayum. That's the FIRST time I've seen an innuendo with these two.
Funny as hell, and you actually threw me a bit with some parts of it
And, dat ending
Ahhh, of course. Because ponies can't eat pie normally.
1571463 Have you SEEN Soarin' eat pie? He can't.
Can't... stop... laughing...
1571475
Be fair... he hasn't got hands. Don't give him a complex over it- Lyra is creepy enough.
1571512 Man I don't blame him! I was just sayin'.
Well I'm sure this will be good judging by the comments.
Steamy
hahaha
Classic
I saw this coming a mile away. Still, good story though.
Rainbow Dash! You sick perv!
Wait, were they eating pie or no?
1657847
Yes they were.
Sometimes the smell of pie can be too much to bear
totally called that. pie is ftw
rating
rating explained in my profile
Could've guessed it. As much as others say this was good and funny, I disagree. I've seen multiple kinds of fictions with the narrator is making it sound sexual, and it totally wasn't. I did like it, though. But It wasn't that great, to be completely honest.
1909673
Thanks for being honest. It helps me improve, and I did ask you for it. It's your prerogative if you still want to read the other story.
Hey there! Scribblestick the chill here. Let's dive in, shall we?
(Note: To anyone reading, there will most likely be spoilers. With a story like this, it's best not to have those.)
So I've always been open about the fact that clop is not my thing, but I do enjoy a story that looks like it's one thing and then turns out to be completely different. It takes a lot of skill and careful word choice to blend innuendo and reality like that, and I think for the most part, you did pretty well. I didn't find it particularly funny, but then, I tend to abandon story at the first sign of clop and I'm not the best judge of humor.
There's one bit I'm still confused about:
The innuendo I get. It's the reality that's throwing me off. What did Spitfire feel welling up inside her? Or if that was meant to be the pie, how do pies feel anything? Why did the pie (or cherries) explode again? The first time made sense, what with Soarin' diving right it, but with it almost gone, I'm not exactly sure what exploded. I guess I'm saying the reality doesn't quite work the way it's set up.
The phrase "she was about to be finished" in referring to pie throws me off a little, too, but it's not bad. I mention it because you use that phrase a couple times.
Finally, I'm not sure why Soarin' is blaming Spitfire for it. She didn't do anything, as far as I can tell. Maybe if he looked at the cherry juice on her hoof and lips and said that was gross?
Beyond that, I only have a couple things to comment on:
As a journalist who spent most of yesterday covering breaking news, and knowing there's probably not a lot going on in Equestria, and also knowing that newspaper is probably the primary means of spreading news in Equestria (what with the lack of TV and internet, though I suppose movie theaters could do), I wouldn't be surprised if every major newspaper printed a special issue the moment they found out and sent all the urchins into the streets to shout "EXTRA! EXTRA!" at passersby. Assuming that "WONDERBOLTS EAT PIE" is considered newsworthy in this world. I don't know, I don't live there.
The first sentence of that paragraph needs to be shot.
Anyways, this is just me being really super nitpicky, but if the story is headline-worthy, I'd expect the headline within a few hours in this world. Which I guess is technically "within a day," but making the time period even shorter would, I think, be more accurate (there I go being a journalist) and strengthen the story.
This sentence is telly. Is there a way you can show Spitfire regaining her confidence (or at least putting on a show of confidence)?
I know calling the pie "she" is done to intentionally confuse the reader, but I can't help but wonder why Spitfire gives the pie that pronoun instead of "it." With Soarin', it totally makes sense. Because, well, he's obsessed. With Spitfire, not so much.
Well, that's all I have. I thought the ambiguity worked well, but a few details and phrases could be improved. Hope it helps!
~Scribblestick, WRITE's notoriously friendly reviewer
So you love eating pie do you Soarin?
THIS pie?
What about
How would you enjoy that?
Just thought I'd say that did a riff on this story, it should be up soon. Don't worry, I really enjoyed it. But, you know, it did have some silly moments.
2761984
Yessir, I know it did. This was early in my writing career, so I've learned a lot in that time. I'd sure love to read the riff if you could provide a link!
2761999 It's not up yet, but I can just send a link: Here
I couldn't do it. I couldn't read the most part, I only got to the "bringing out the goods part" and skipped to the end. The only thing going through my mind; {Clop Flop}. That's for gullible people like me.
This made no since, what so ever, liked, no favorite, my dad might confuse this to being clop. My dad looks over my profile.
Aw, I was really hoping at the end that, after the obvious reveal was made that it was pie, they would pat their bellies with satisfaction and say,
"Now let's go have sex."
The End.
So my friend Dafe111 told me to read this so im here reading it thinking its another clopper (i ain't a clopper yuck) and then bam i realise close to the end just how much soarin loves his pie and it hit me like a ten ton nuclear bombshell i was here thinking they were having sex with a pie or something but oh my god Dafe if you read this thank you for suggesting it to me thank you so much and one hell of a innuendo story so funny
319224
touche but i prefer to read the story then the comments still a good story though
*Facepalms* cute.
Wow.amazin story.i really want to read more things like this.does anyone know some?
well then.... this is THE FUNNIEST THING!!!!
BAHAHAHA!!! I LOVE THIS!!
I won't look at pie the same way again. Or ever.
Such a great read. Well worth reading a second time. Still funny as. I may have to save this specially as its gold.