Like Diamond

by ambion

Like Diamond

My name is Diamond Tiara, and I am not a nice pony. I never have been, and have known it for almost as long. Over the last few years, though, what that’s meant to me has changed. What about you? What do you think you know?

I was born to the richest ponies in Ponyville. Not just rich by their rural standards either, but properly rich, as my father was a business tycoon with bits to settle just about anywhere.

He chose simple, humble Ponyville. Thought that the ‘rustic values’ might raise me a better mare than the big towns, full of different ponies as they were. The irony, to this day, is so funny I forget to laugh.

He chose Ponyville, and I was raised a princess amongst bumpkins. Nothing was denied me, because he made the terrible mistake of thinking giving me everything I wanted was the same as everything I needed. Neither of us knew better.

I still love the doddering idiot; but that’s just what he is. A doddering idiot. Outside of bits, any semblance of expertise just falls away. Despite everything he thinks, money really doesn’t make the world go round.

If you’re looking for me to say there was some special, magical time to my foalhood - there wasn’t. The idea that I was just better than other ponies got into me before I could stand, and has been with me ever since. That one idea has, in so many ways, been as much my father as the stallion that sired me.

I had no compunctions on flaunting everything I was; at least, everything I thought I was. The foals at the backwater school I ended up having to go to backed away and reviled me almost instantly. In another life, I might have learned what most ponies would learn about niceness, and kindness, and fitting in.

Not me. I took at as all the proof I needed, and if they didn’t dare match up to me, that left me as the best. Even if they seemed happy, I didn’t need to be. I was better than that. Even if they had friends, I didn’t need those either.

I was better than them, you see.

I did have one pony my age, Silver Spoon. She never disagreed with a thing I said, no matter how pointless it might have been. Again, that might have been a clue to any other pony about the state of our friendship, but not me. Why should she ever disagree with me? I was always right anyway.

Of course I was.

I was a rather stupid foal, you see.

Something I have learned though is that a good way - maybe the best way - to figure out who you are is to figure out who you aren’t.

With Silver Spoon in tow, I waged my own little, stupid war on the fillies and colts nearly as stupid as I was. The blank flanks, the lazy, the shy. Anypony. Everypony, eventually. They weren’t as good as me and I’d make them eat dirt for it.

I had my own cutie mark by this point, as did the majority of my classmates. I was among the first, naturally. Then half the class had theirs, then five, four, three...

Three blank flanks. I poured into them all the determination and menace I’d spread out before. To me, they became everything I was not: simple. Stupid. I didn’t even have words for it, the way I hated them.

A year became two, then three. Of all the ways to save themselves from my vendetta, the one they choose, the one that I would never have thought of...it struck me the deepest.

They ignored me. If that doesn’t seem like anything much, then you’re as much a foal as the rest. They. Ignored. Me. Me. Diamond Tiara. Heiress to literal riches, the best mare in the pitiful one horse town.

Obviously it was their fault, they were just so stupid. In my own head at least, I was the most popular, the most adored. My clique of two was rapidly becoming one as Silver Spoon, at long last, saw me for the spoiled bitch I was. It was easily another clue, but I am nothing if not stubborn.

Even if it took her so damn long to work it up, Silver had courage when she broke off from me. That shook me to the core. It was probably the best thing she’d ever done with her life up to that point.

I turned a brief, furious hatred on her, all the stronger for how long and how close I’d thought she’d been my friend. Somehow she weathered through it, and taking a page from my enemies’ own book, I turned to shunning her entirely.

That’s probably the nicest thing I ever did for her.

This was when all of us foals had grown enough to start seeing each other in a new light, and I took to coltfriends with a vengeance.

Money and beauty can get a mare a lot of things. It’s a shame they're not nearly enough. What colts that would be seen with me hardly wanted me for my personality. Some backed out in their meekness, others I simply broke up with when they proved they weren’t worth me. I left a minefield of spite, distrust and heartbreak in my wake.

If it’s possible for a foal to get even more stupid as they grow older, I did. Just once though, my vicious pride protected from making a terrible mistake with my life. Of all the painful, hateful and most of all true things they said about me as I broke them, never, never did I compromise my self-respect.

In short, for entirely selfish reasons, I never took the risk of motherhood. I would be the nastiest mother you have seen, all the aloofness of my father distilled through my own ever dissatisfied standards and icy spite. May I never inflict that situation on myself, or on some hapless foal.

I don’t remember his name, but one of those useless colts does come to mind. Not for who he was, but what he said. Of all the angry tirades I’d faced already and built a wall against, he was the only one that gave his pain to me, not with an angry shout, but a sad whisper.

He said: For the richest mare in town, Diamond Tiara, you are the poorest, emptiest pony around. It’s like life was throwing all these clues at me, trying to spare me from myself, and each and every time I managed to ignore it entirely.

It was graduation that the first hints of something other than utter stupidity caught in my mind. Funny, how at the end of my education I finally started learning something.

It was a memorable day. Once in a lifetime. I won’t say it was good. Even I, stupid, spiteful Diamond Tiara managed to catch the hint this time.

My teacher of all those years of boring, oh so boring class. She looked me up and down when my turn came, and it was as if not only she, but the smiles of her cutie mark grimaced.

She said: Good luck. But she didn’t just say it, she said it like the words were useless and she shouldn’t even bother, because there wasn’t enough luck in the world to help poor, rich, stupid Diamond Tiara.

When all the others whooped for joy and danced about like idiots with friends and family, there I was with my father and something or other expensive. I don’t recall what, exactly. All the meaningless things he’s brought me over the years just blur together in one big streak of uselessness now.

A pony like me doesn’t succumb to depression. I don’t get morose, I get angry. And I’ve lived a life of chronic, even terminal anger. With nopony around left to distract me from it or field it against, it turned to the only pony I had left: myself.

Oh, how it burned. How I had everything and nothing. Rich and poor. So brilliant, so stupid. So popular, so alone. The only thing that dared match my all consuming anger was my unbreakable pride, and the two fought inside me like wolves.

If there’s one thing that’s never changed about me, it is that I get what I want. If you think this is just because I had the richest daddy, it is a waste of my time and yours to bother any more with this.

No, I get what I want because of who I am, not what I was given. I made a stupid school paper into the most talked about paper in all of that hick town, I’ve back-talked the business elite and guards ponies alike into backing off, and brought more colts than I bother trying to remember to tears.

But even my indomitable will couldn’t take that struggle forever; nothing can. The year that followed my graduation I was the single nastiest bitch the world has ever seen or will likely see since. In a lot of ways, I see it as the death-throes of the poor, stupid Diamond Tiara of my worthless childhood and the birthing pains of the one I actually have some respect for. Me.

The turning point didn’t come with a great realization like they talk about in stories. Oh no, I was much too stupid for that. I simply upped and walked out the door, so full of hatred that windigoes would fear to tread in my wake.

I just walked away, spurning every useless, stupid, expensive thing I owned, because the most valuable, most worthless, most exquisite, most broken thing I had was myself.

Filthy. Stinking. These are the names of my forefathers, and again, it was life throwing desperate clues at us, screaming please oh please see, you blind, blind idiots!

In a way, walking out on it all washed myself of the filth and the stink in a cold, merciless torrent. I walked out on everything, looking for anything. With everything I’d been nothing, and with nothing I was less than nothing.

I wasn’t thinking at all - probably the smartest thing I could have done back then - when I marched into the recruitment office and demanded they take me into their fold.

I was refused on so many grounds you might as well say it was all of them. Apparently they still tell stories about what happened next, though they’re a little more entertaining than what actually happened. Either way, the story puts icy dread into the privates new to my command, one of the few things that makes me smile. That only makes my freshest foals all the more terrified, and if only here I will admit that I relish every second of it.

Funny, that for some reason they’re considered the bravest bunch of soldiers around. They’re just the most useless bunch of colts and fillies I have the immense displeasure of dealing with. When I break them to my will, I can almost make them worth something. Almost.

I spent a year in training. My soft and supple body burned away in agony, and in its place was left something hard and strong and beautiful.

Two years more I spent in officer training. My commander was the biggest asshole ever to be seen, pushing me ever farther, ever harder. He was a glutton for my hatred, until he was the whole summation of everything I despised. And oh, how he basked in it. It is a testament to my willpower and pride that I never murdered that son of a bitch.

And yet, for all of it, I loved him. He bled the hatred out of me, gave me the strength and the tools to break it - make it mine to use, to extend and withhold as I see fit. I loved to hate him, and hated that I loved him for it. I loved that I hated that I loved that I hated - until the two ran together into something that was both meaningless and the entire purpose of my life.

I was the youngest captain they’ve ever had, but by the thrones I wasn’t the softest. And all this time of my new life, not a single bit from the estate rolled under my name.

I saw fit to change that, at long last. It was unrealistic, they said. It was impossible, they said. It was downright madness, they said. I never doubted they’d agree, because I knew they never had a chance. Not against me.

One immense purchase, and everything subsequent to fit it properly, enough to dent even my family’s far deep coffers.

I named her Jewel Cutter. She is a sky-yacht only in name. In her heart, she is a tempest of wood and iron. She is the proud fortress of useless ponies and the rugged hutch of the finest sons of bitches I’ve ever served with.

Diamondback Dragoons. That’s what my contingent is called, and we roam the far corners of Equestria. When a hydra threatens the buffalo stampeding grounds under the burning noon, there we are, asking the locals for an extra coat. Where windigoes shiver, we go skinny dipping.

I am Diamond Tiara, and I’ve already vanquished the greatest monster of my life. After that, everything is easy. What about you?

Comments

[ambion]

been as my fatther as the stallion that sired me.

Well this is frustrating. Fimfic is throwing a tantrum and refusing to save edits. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_cry.png

Edit : Oh, OH! You'll let me edit down here, but not up there where it matters? CURSES, FIMFIC!

Other than this, this idea walked in, punched me in the brain, and exited via the keyboard. There's something to be said for ideas that show up ready made, fully formed, that can be written in one bout / fit / attack of writing.

Edit the second: HA! take that fouled grammar! Have at you! En Guarde!

So, what'dya think?

[Material Defender]

I like it. So Diamond's taken to a calling that almost seems the opposite of her upbringing... but perfectly suited for her temperament. Interesting.

[PhycoKrusk]

I...

I am happy.

[alexnine]

I would totally read the continuing adventures of Diamond Tiara: Cold-blooded Military Hardass. The reactions of the more setting appropriate heroes as the cross paths with her with would be worth the price of admission.

[Mudpony]

Yay for DT stories. Especially ones that go along with my own headcanon as to what DT's talent is, though personally I prefer to think of Silver Spoon as being a true friend, but that wouldn't mesh as well with your story idea, so I'll forgive that :) Have a thumbs up.

I had my own cutie mark by this point, as did the majority of my classmates. I was among the first, naturally. Then half the class had theirs, then five, four, three...

Slight error here. She wasn't among the first, but rather amongst the latter half. She got hers just before Call of the Cutie. Out of the ponies in her class at that time, only two were later, Twist and Apple Bloom. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle believed they were the only two, so whatever class they were in was also mostly cutie marked up prior to DT. Even with them in the mix, that still puts DT fifth to last out of her class (which holds twelve).

[pyrobug0]

Oh sweet, delicious, acrid cynicism and self-loathing. I can never have enough.
This was very well written. I can really hear Diamond Tiara narrating this, though a different version of her.

[Dozy Dreamer]

What? This feeling... I.. don't... respect? For Diamond Tiara? As a person?

... Wow - you're good.

[ambion]

1443144

By the holey hooves of Chrysalis I have been humbled by canon!

Handwave it, handwave it desperately!

Amongst the first ponies worth noticing to get their cutie marks. It'd be just like young DT to support such a petty delusion.
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png

[Quantum_Shift]

This... made Diamond Tiara an entirely worthwhile character.

I want to see more of this DT. She intrigues me, and I want to hear some stories about the Diamondback Dragoons.
They seem pretty fing awesome.

[zsewqthewolf]

i want to see a story for her what all the ponie in her pass will think of her now

I MEAN SHE A BADASS NOW THAT KICKASS

[HighRoller]

This was...perhaps the best pony story I've read in a long, long time. You came up with one of the most original concepts in all the fandom, and you effing NAILED it... Bravo, good sir. Bravo.

From a technical standpoint, your usage and prose were just about flawless, too, and your command of emotion and narration are something to behold.

[Reaper1oo]

I really like this

[MagerBlutooth]

A fair one-shot I'd say. This is the first story I've read on this site without dialogue, and I believe it's well-executed. The use of one perspective keeps things simple and to the point, and Diamond's personality indicates that there has been some clear change in her personality even though remnants of it are still clearly visible. Perhaps its a bit harsh to say that Filthy and Stinking's names are indicative of problems in her life, but I can see how one would come to such a conclusion in a retrospective look.

The story's short, so depth isn't the focus. Still, since the entire focus is on one character, there seems to be enough depth in the simplicity of the setup. Diamond's independence of her wealth is very believable and fitting, and her lackadaisical approval of her dad makes sense if the story were to truly unfold as it did. I can't say the core of the story is particularly groundbreaking, but the result is something that I can enjoy.

I can say it's an interesting idea, though. She moves past seeing herself as superior in a destructive sense and instead looks down on others merely out of a desire to give them some value. Seems fitting to her character and an excitingly different branching path for the future to take. I'd call this story a hard boiled egg with a bit of salt. The yolk's a bit bland but ultimately enjoyable, and the salty exterior makes for something wonderfully umami.

[ambion]

1998342

Holey hooves of the Changeling Queen that's a fantastic review!

I am glad you enjoyed this

[MagerBlutooth]

1998406
Happy to provide.

[da magics]

1448190
I second the motion. Diamondback Dragoons ahoy.

[jz1]

2343928
I concur. We need more.

[Sinful Pickle]

AWESOME

[Dreamer of Dragons]

Sooooooo, that's what badass looks like.

[zsewqthewolf]

2005655 am waiting for the part where a class reunion pop up she go there and she is now a badass now that can take down almost anyone that even the pussy rolry guard can't take down

[Shantara]

Wow! This was awesome!

[jtfroh]

Headcanoned?

Also, is it weird that I read this whole thing in Jane Lynch's voice?

[Puzzle Reader]

Wow, this is perfect in so many ways!

[Woorali]

Glad to see her grown up. And, if I may, I suspect she IS a better, kinder pony for everything that happened to her. Not weak-willed or afraid of doing wrong, of course, but still better and kinder.

[totallynotabrony]

I think the turnaround to joining up was a little too quick and without enough explanation. But thumbs up regardless.

[djthomp]

Interesting interpretation of Diamond, well done.

[BronyPonyMan]

dude.........i'm sitting here trying to sum up how much i loved this, and i can't put it into words. this mirrors one of my bestest friends life so closely, it's fucking scary. bravo, my friend. bra-vo.

[TheAmazingPeanuts]

Awesome story i give it a good 7.7/10

[Eclipse LunarSol]

Is the title right? It like looks it's missing something.

[Fareseed]

Remind me to never enlist to any military.

[cosmicobubisi]

Awesome.

[Thought Prism]

Hurray for character development! I can totally see Diamond Tiara going through this eventually. The fact that she learns to harness her harsh attitude towards others into improving ponies, rather than making them feel awful, is an amazing idea.

[QueenMoriarty]

Star Swirl's bells, but this was a good read! This is probably the most badass future imaginable for ol' DT.

[DualKitsune]

Seeet Celestia, DT has become awesome! Most badass pony ever!

[JetChicken]

I was refused on so many grounds you might as well say it was all of them. Apparently they still tell stories about what happened next, though they’re a little more entertaining than what actually happened.

What the stories say:

Diamond Tiara eyed the recruitment officer. He's a monolith of an earth stallion with bulging biceps and scar tissue dating back to the roughest of wars from across the equestrian seas. Yet he can't make eye contact with her, he can feel the wolves inside this pink pony girlie, and for the first time in years he's scared. He can only muster a weak voice as he croaks out his rejection of her application. He tries so hard to put up a straight face, but he can't stop the subtlest of quivers. This filly is fear. Diamond Tiara keep her cool gaze on him, leans back in her chair, takes a calm breath... and releases the wolves. She swings her head forward and grabs the officer's desk with her teeth and yanks it out from under him. It was the only thing holding up his beefy form, his limbs can't save him from falling face first on the floor because they are trembling to much from abject terror. Diamond tiara lifts the table, she puts all her anger, all her ego, all her emptiness into what comes next. She beats the veteran warrior into a weeping heap, begging her to stop, with the desk. With her TEETH. The door to the office flies open as three more officers rush in to save their pal, but only an ambulance can save him now. She whips her head around and throws the desk at the one the offices. He gets knocked out cold. After seeing that, one of the officers thinks its a good time to run away, and he does. The third is too scared to respond. Diamond Tiara stomps toward him, eating him alive with her eyes. He falls on his rump, backs up to the corner of the room, and wets himself. Diamond Tiara takes out her application form.

She gets approved.

What probably happened:

The recruitment officer was... ripened. He was in good shape for a stallion his age, but you could tell he was one his way to retirement. And furthermore, loved the less exciting job of being a recruitment officer, he barely had a badge on his uniform to speak off. He looks at Tiara's application, and smirks, almost laughs out loud for a sec. That rubs her in all the wrong ways. He hands her application back to her, and she gives him the stare that turns stallions to boys and is about to break him like so many colts before, with her ill willed words. This time he actually does laugh, and waves her off, tells her "Thank you, that'll be all". He's a rare breed... he needs special treatment. All the strife she'd carried with her erupts and she lunges over the table, knocking all his model blimps to the floor. He's shocked. Thought he was safe behind his desk. There is no form in her assault. She tackles the stallion to the ground and is wailing, screeching, biting, smacking and punching at whatever she can get her hooves on. He covers his face calling for help. A younger officer, just one, hears the ruckus and comes it to quite a sight: some crazy chick clawing away at a scared old stallion. He rushes up and pries Tiara off the poor guy, she's still holler and flailing about like an angry cat, and even when he puts her down she reels around in her frenzy and catches him good in the eye. It was a shock, and in a split second of rage he clocks the tartarus out of her, right cross the head. You practically hear the blow echo in the hollow of her skull. Diamond tiara goes down. Oh shit. The two officers are silent, and then they're stammering at each other. The younger one runs out to close the office and the elder stallion looks her over. Oh shit, is that a little blood?

They have a scratched up elder officer, a girl with a possible concussion... and a a potential assault charge. Not two weeks before HIS retirement. He stamps the forms with an approval and they set her down somewhere comfortable. They prey that when she comes to they can avoid a PR nightmare.

Least that's how I imagine it

[Sparkler Shine MLP]

Ohohlala... DT... You've gone badass!