• Member Since 30th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 21st, 2019


Work hard. Learn. And use your skills to better Equestria. That's a worthy goal for anypony!


A familiar Captain of the Guard finds himself dredged out of the ocean and into the dubious company of totally-not-pirates.

He doesn't remember who he is, and he's not entirely sure he likes the looks the all-mare crew is giving him. Cadence is certainly not going to be happy about that when she catches up with him.

He might have been better off in the water after all.

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Chapters (43)
Comments ( 626 )


Followed. This intrigues me, and Patches is too cute to ignore.:fluttershyouch:

This is nice. Not presumptuous at all, just a simple and fun little story. It deserves more views, for sure. :applejackunsure:

Mmm, pickled eggs! Happy to see more.

It's good to see things beginning to heat up for *ahem* Flotsam, both literally and figuratively. :trollestia:

Please, do go on.

Yay! Another great chapter. I'll be waiting for the next with bated breath. damn cliffhanger

Carrots are simply ubiquitous. It is not for us to question our Orange Overlords.

Bah, I enjoy the willy-nilly air of this story, it doesn't matter if it's just a side thing. :pinkiesmile:

Likewise, the mares of the ship were watching his edges, points, corners and curves also.


Such a good story.

Oh this is just wonderful. I love Shining Armor and pirates are awesome, so this fic is right up my alley.

Sometimes you're writing a chapter, but then another chapter springs into existence between where you are and where you expected to go, and you don't even mind it happening. This is one of those chapters.

Ahh, the "Point C" chapters. Always good for a laugh.

I like that description.

Just bingeread this and I do not regret it. Patches is best pony.

Fun chapter, and Patches is definitely best pony.

Next chapter could be straight up awesome depending on Flotsam's spear skills.

Awesome. Can't wait to see how Flotsam does with the spear- er, mop.

That was as awesome as I was hoping it would be.

Loved the star Wars quote! And his correction at the end, it made me giggle.

It would be nice to see some more of this story.

The Royal Guard's weapon of choice is...
A mop...:trixieshiftright:

...I LOVE IT!:rainbowlaugh:

Looks like he mopped the floor with that little challenge. We shall see if his memories decide to give more insight into the real problem with him being away is. After all, someone has to be missing him, and it is only a matter of time before they have to make port...

Oh hell yeah!

"Piththed." :twistnerd:


Better get the mop Floatsam, looks like you got some crap to straighten out.

This is an excellent story.

"What can I do to get out of this predicament?"

"... Not much till we make landfall."

Well Shining, look on the bright side, at least the rest of the crew is avoiding you like the plague now. :moustache: At least you won't be outnumbered. :raritywink:

Well, what happens on the ocean stays on the ocean. Hopefully.

"Femaelstrom". I like it!

Please keep this story going. It is wonderfully entertaining.

This story seems more... Sensual than when I first read through it. Did you add in some particular details to steer it in that direction, or was it just my imagination? :rainbowhuh:

I almost completely forgot what was going on in this story.
Luckily I pretty much remember now.
Though I must admit, I had completely forgotten that this was in my favorites.

Yar har har, it be good to see this new chapter! I had meself a hearty laugh at the Captain's orders.
If only there were more to read!

Intriguing...I like the captain's idea.:twilightsmile:

This is such a great concept for a story, and much fun to read... So glad it updated!

I think his wife will especially enjoy this bit of the tale when he regains his memory and makes it back home..

Took me a minute to actually get the whole point of the knocking and push-ups and such. The captain's idea of mitigating the problem might end up backfiring though. Patiently awaiting the next chapter. :coolphoto:

Ahh, so glad to see and read a new chapter of this.

Don't be too hard on yourself! It was fine :-)

Looking forward to the next update.

The story progresses! And I like the idea of him being so bad at upholding the deception that he actually reinforces it.

Not the chapter we wanted, but the chapter we deserved.


In all seriousness, though, I thought it was fine. I always enjoy seeing this in my update queue. It's just so fun and simple. :twilightsmile:

I had almost forgotten about this fic so glad to see it updating again

It's not a bad chapter. Might could have been attached to this upcoming chapter of yours, but it's not bad on its own. I think the jump from the captain's room to out on deck was kind of abrupt though, and that really is the only thing I can find off-putting about the chapter.

I think this chapter is good.:twilightsmile: You manage to take something that needs to be covered for the story to continue and make it stand on its own and succeed.

Oh Shining.

I loved the little detail about Patches reaction to all the laughter.

Nice to see that Flotsam's shield slinging is instinctual and just as powerful as ever. I admit, I sometimes find the crew as baffling as he does, so I sympathized with him recieving all of those "are you stupid?" looks. I'm looking forward to seeing the captain's and crew's reactions to this little incident...

The second rope – the final rope – gave way with a snap of water and air. Patches was knocked backwards, head over hooves over head over hooves out over the water.

My heart nearly stopped. So glad that Flotsam is on the ball even with the amnesia.

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