One Planet, Slightly Used

by FanOfMostEverything

The Perfect Choice for Generations to Come

"Okay, Pippsqueaks! After some unavoidable delays at the end of the last tourist season, my besties and I are heading Ponytropico! And you'll be with me every step of the way!"

"For as long as your wi-fi holds out."

"Hmph. I'll have you know, Zephyrina, that I specifically made sure that there would be plenty of those new cloud relays in place along the ferry route. My fans won't miss a moment of our trip!"

"Greaaaat. Because the last thing we might want on vacation is a little privacy."

"Oh, you're just grumpy because Hitch couldn't make it this year."

"I can neither confirm nor deny that, and I wish Sparky a speedy recovery."

"Uh huh. Oh, here come the others! Let's give Zipp a little space and check on them. Hi, fillies!"

"Hi, Pipp! Hi, Pipp's parasocial relationships!"

"Not while the stream's live, Izzy."

"Hi, everypony!"

"Um..."

"Don't be shy, Misty, the camera won't bite."

"Sorry. Hi, I guess?"

"Isn't she just precious, folks?"

"Seriously, are you going to stream the whole ferry ride?"

"Firstly, you don't get to complain about being on the stream if you approach me. Secondly... Hmm. Good point."

"Thank hoofness."

"I may not have brought enough external battery packs for the whole ride. Sunny, how far is it to Ponytropico again?"

"The ferry takes most of a day."

"Cutting it close. Don't worry, Pippsqueaks, if I absolutely have to, I'll only cut out the boring parts."

"Actually, I've been doing some research on Ponytropico, and it's genuinely fascinating. Did you know that nopony actually knows who built the resort there?"

"Ooh, spooky. Tell me more."

"Yeah, this is starting to sound like an intriguing mystery."

"Well, apparently it was discovered shortly after we brought magic back, when a ship got blown way off course in the South Celestia Sea and docked on Ponytropico Island. And the place was almost completely pristine!"

"Huh. I'm going to have to see if I can interview whoever was on that ship."

"Ziiiiipp."

"Izzy?"

"Are you actually going to interview them, or are you going to shout questions at them until they cry?"

"It's okay, Izzy."

"No, she's right. Sorry again, Misty. Though I do plan on less... aggressive interrogation methods next time. It's not like some random accidental explorer is hiding secrets that could spell doom for us all. No offense."

"None taken?"

"Well, good. And Sunny didn't even mention the best part! I heard the resort was being maintained by a bunch of robot ponies! They had waited to see ponies again for hundreds of years! But the ship ponies were all terrified of them and there was a big misunderstanding and they say the oil stains still haven't come out of the carpet on the third floor."

"That's insane. Where did you even hear that, Izzy?"

"Oh! I heard it from Onyx, who heard it from Dapple, who heard it from Peach Fizz, who heard it from—"

"Yeah, I'm going to doubt anything that's been through the rumor mill that many times. Interview's still on."

"I mean..."

"Seriously, Sunny?"

"I'm not saying it's likely, but you have to admit, we have seen stranger."

"Besides, imagine the robo-ponies out for revenge after being betrayed by the first ponies they saw in who knows how long! Imagine the found footage horror masterpiece we could get out of that! Pippsqueaks, you're my witnesses, easy million views."

"So... Not that I believe the part about robo-ponies—"

"Et tu, Misty?"

"But is anypony else concerned about just going to this random place on a remote tropical island that was... always there, apparently? That's kind of creepy, right?"

"Honestly, there's a lot of history that ponies just try to ignore on a day-to-day basis. Dad barely set hoof outside of Maretime Bay to collect all of the Old Equestrian artifacts he collected."

"Yeah. I should give you all a proper tour of the Zephyr Heights undercity some time. Though you can't stream it, Pipp. Even that may be saying too much while you're live. Seriously, ponies, don't go in there without an experienced guide like me."

"Same thing goes for all the creepy places in the deep Bridlewood. The witch's hut, the old castle, the hydra skulls... There's jinxy, and then there's jinxy."

"But Ponytropico's okay?"

"Oh yeah."

"Yup!"

"Totes."

"Definitely. Besides, whoever made it must have wanted it to be used. What's the point of a place that big if nopony goes there?"

"Well... I guess if you all say it's okay. You know, Opaline went to a resort once."

"Really?"

"Kind of hard to imagine her relaxing. At all, honestly, but especially on the beach. Fire alicorns and oceans don't seem like they'd mix."

"She said she hated it. The staff wouldn't listen to her and the other guests were gross, but it was still the closest thing she ever had to a vacation. Then she had to tell me what a vacation was, and how I didn't deserve one."

"Aww... Well, you're getting one now!"

"And we'll all be there to enjoy it with you!"

"Preferably without thousands of ponies watching us the whole time."

"It won't be the whole time."

"Pipp."

"Oh, honestly. Sometimes I think you're the most annoying sibling a pony's had in all of history."

"Strong competition there, Sis."

Author's Note:

I didn't mean for this to turn into another "origin of Opaline" story, but that's how it developed. Funny how that works.

For reference, Ponytropico is from this Tell Your Tale short.

Comments

[Gyro Pony]

Wow. Sombre.

Thinking about it, this reminds me of a Doctor Who episode I never finished watching.
A colony had malfunctioning "Arcane Intelligence" units - they interpreted human sadness as undesired elements, then killed said humans.

Good job writing the story, you could almost believe it happened.

[Speckle]

I have this odd feeling that this reflects real world issues and I don't mind the shout-out, because it's a very important one to make.

[Malandy]

Such good titles!

Soo many implications! Nice to know that ponies survived!

At least there's no time travel magic happening! Opaline probably won't be back! No backups!

Bringing tech to the sorta haunted robo island. heh.

[GaPJaxie]

Okay, I really like this story, but Flim and Flam splitting their memories 50/50 between them is way too cool and idea for you to just casually toss it into an otherwise unrelated story. I demand this Idea gets a full story all to itself!

[EileenSaysHi]

The arcs, they have been welded. Nice work!

[PiMan]

I just watched the TYT short and I gotta say, it seems odd to worry about a departing ferry when you have a flying campervan.

[FanOfMostEverything]

11911042
Ah yes, the emoji-bots. Fun fact, they got not one but two cards in the Doctor Who MtG decks. Mind you, Opaline never actually wanted to help...

Glad you enjoyed the story, at least on a conceptual level.

11911205
Science fiction is meant to hold up a highly-polished, Space Age alloy mirror to reality.

11911305
It is my curse to conceive of novel-length ideas while only having the motivation and executive function to throw them into random short stories.

11911382
I'd say something about OSHA certification, but with the Flimflams involved, that doesn't seem terribly likely.

11911521
G5 short quality varies wildly. (Though in this case, the fear was presumably said camper van running out of power and crashing in the middle of the ocean... not that stopped them with trips to other islands.)

[iisaw]

Entirely plausible!

Good luck in the contests!

[Dashie04]

"Hi, Pipp! Hi, Pipp's parasocial relationships!"