person who is normal about twilight sparkle
Flash Sentry knows their relationship was never meant to last. He's a human guy; she's an immortal alicorn princess from Equestria. No matter how hard they try to make things work, he knows that sooner or later life will creep up behind them and something will finally give—be it him, or her, or them both.
So what's the point in trying when they've always been fated to part?
Winner of the EQG Spring Fling Contest. Reviewed by Loganberry. Cover sketch by me!
Page generated in 0.153 seconds
Total duration
1,020 users online
2,530,936 hits today, 2,707,512 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Warning! Puzzle Answer Spoiler!
I don't recall seeing any Equestria Girls world background characters. 'On screen,' directly in the scenes, we saw just our three leads for this story, and a mention that Flash was waiting outside the room while the Rainbooms practiced, but I don't know that we actually SAW them?
Anyway, that's an answer.
This is a pretty good story, and I look forward to seeing it knock stories like my science fiction horror out of the 'don't show stories rated Mature' featured box, aka sandbox, ha!
*And maybe your story will also leap up the sinbox. I can hope!
Also, please forgive my obnoxious humblebragging.
I could also say some nice things about this story's style, like how you made present tense work when too many writers don't, but at the moment I am time pressed and lazy.
(Edits to this comment in the ten minutes after initial posting are italicized like this.)
11544263
here's a hint if you want: i wonder if you count how many times names are used you'll find something interesting...
ooh, interesting guess! but nope, that's not it
thanks for the comment!
11544266
But was my answer WRONG, or just not the answer you were thinking of?
Because, seriously, a person could probably find a LOT of answers somewhere within this story's smooth and understatedly elegant style.
11544266
A moment ago, I PM'd you another answer, which might be what you were thinking of.
(I think I misspelled it, though.)
11544272
not necessarily wrong! just not something intentional, but i see it now that u pointed it out :D
nd ahh, thank u sm, im glad u like the more experimental style i went with this time. i find writing in the present tense makes it a bit easier to get into characters heads lol
Very nice story, I really like Human Flash x Pony Twilight. It's a dynamic with a lot of potential that rarely gets used in fanfiction or fanart. You did a really good job implicitly and explicitly making it clear what she sees in him.
Answer: Twilight's name is not used once in the story. If this has any meaning at all, it eludes me. By the way, I did use your hint although I figured it out the moment I read it (maybe i subconsciously noticed it while reading).
You’re a literary genius, evelili. Gosh, this is beautiful and stunning. My favorite part was the constant mentions of “If he were a lesser or better man, but he’s not, he’s just Flash.” I love your Flash, I love your Twilight (who, as Brony9216 has mentioned, doesn’t have her name in the story at all), I love your Sunset. I adore the way that Flash’s guitar and music are interspersed with his dates, I love Sunset is such a supportive and kind friend and I really like how mature Twilight sounds in the diner scene.
All in all, this was amazing. Into ’Heartstrings’ this goes, and all the best for the contest.
Keep rocking.
11546574
thank you for reading! glad u enjoyed the story, i feel like they have a really sweet dynamic nd flash has grown on me a lot since he first was introduced xd
as for the riddle, it’s for a slight emphasis on how she’s someone so high above flash and other “mortals”, like how u dont use the name of royals but instead “your highness” and such. i debated using her name at the end, but i felt he doesnt really change that part of his mindset. it’s just a little thing tho lol, and also a fun creative exercise to make a still-understandable story
thanks for the comment!
11546594
ahh thank u so much! i was worried the repetition might have been too much, so im glad to know it landed ok—flash isnt the perfect guy, but i think hes a really good one who wears his heart on his sleeve even if it’s a bit selfish of him to do so. i also love the concept of him and sunset being guitar besties so i had to include that too haha
11546703
Youʼre welcome.
This was a nice, cute bittersweet story. I am a sucker for tragic romances, and this scratched that itch. Great work.
11548476
tysm! glad u liked it
As a perpetually single guy...I feel a bit called out here
But seriously, good job with this. I can admit that I would probably have similar doubts and fears if I was in his place.
These days aside from at work chatting with cute coworkers, about the only girls I hang with are online or fictional. I'm not getting any younger and I can practically count on one hand the number of dates I've had. le sigh.
11549824
flash was an interesting chara to explore for sure, and im glad he came off as relatable and not completely ooc or anything!
and yea relationships are definitely tricky things, since as humans we all want them (whether familial or platonic or romantic or something else), but theyre all dependent on other people too, not just us. so it can b rough sometimes, and i think it’s often hard to express those sorts of feelings
thanks for the comment!
Excellent portrait of a relationship that’s doomed, and no less important for it. Love the recurring theme of the better man and the lesser man, but Flash is still the one Twilight fell for. And if she is immortal, this is an invaluable lesson she’ll carry with her for the rest of her days: The finite nature of relationships doesn’t make them meaningless. And she’ll never forget the young man who taught it to her without even knowing.
Excellent use of Sunset as well. The best friend Flash could ask for, and one in a similar boat of being in love with Twilight Sparkle… though hers comes with less and different baggage. Still an invaluable support. The parallels between Flash’s guitar and emotional state may be overt, but they’re still a great touch in their own right.
In all, outstanding job with a pairing most people are happy to dismiss. Thank you for it and best of luck in the judging.
11550858
thank u sm, best of luck to u as well!
and yeah, i think its hard to come to terms w the fact some relationships arent going to work, and if twi / the other princesses rlly are immortal, its rlly tragic to think abt how many times theyd have to say goodbye even if for the other person it “worked”
This is so sad omg
Felt it was only fair to give this a read since you gave mine one as well. Though I'd already intended on doing so, since I think it's important to read the works of those who beat you to see what they've done better.
This was a genuinely incredible slice of fiction. I absolutely do not like Flash, but you have in this story managed to make me sympathize with and feel for him immensely. The present tense was a perfect choice as well. It makes things feel more active, and like you as the reader are right there with Flash as he goes through these feelings.
Without a doubt, you deserved to take the #1 spot in the contest. I'll have to find some way of taking lessons and inspiration from your writing, though I think I'll be hard pressed to match your talents.
11589226
ah tysm for reading! im not a flash fan either (or at least i wasnt before this fic lol), but somehow the idea of him just being a sopping wet pathetic guy in love just made me go “oh i need to write this immediately”
and, im super flattered if i could inspire u in any way—writing is transient!! we all take in what we read and learn and write for others to read and learn and write, and im so happy if i can contribute to that some way ^^
thanks again for reading!
Okay, so first off, wow. Wow. This story is something I’ve always wanted to see out of a Flashlight story, and you nailed every bit of it perfectly.
Once you get past the innate cynicism behind why Flash/Twilight was ever a thing in EqG, it’s easy to see where the potential for something much more intriguing and even tragic lies. The show more or less brushes it off with Flash having to get over his feelings and move on with Sunset’s encouragement. But Heartstrings goes for something very different, and very meaningful.
In the world of Heartstrings, Twilight Sparkle doesn’t stop visiting the human world after Rainbow Rocks. Instead it becomes a refuge for her, somewhere she visits to escape to, and Flash becomes the embodiment of her escape. The focus POV is on Flash, but you can still easily see deeply into Twilight through his eyes – exhausted and overwhelmed by her increasingly hectic life in Equestria, clinging to this other world where she can be learner again instead of teacher, hidden instead of celebrity, a teen instead of a leader. She may be alien in the world, and yet it makes her feel normal.
But that normalcy comes at a crushing cost for Flash. And in reading Heartstrings through his eyes, you see someone who’s dealing with the weight of being the other end of a fantasy. Twilight idealizes him for what he feels are all the wrong reasons, and unwittingly reinforces his feelings of inadequacy even beyond the mere knowledge of who and what she really is. I adored the moments where Flash considered what he would do if he were a greater or lesser man, which made him feel all too real and relatable as he tries and tries to prolong the inevitable.
Where this story ultimately ended, I thought, was a really lovely note, no pun intended. And so is the writing throughout. The conversations these characters, as well as Sunset, have do a fantastic job at conveying the heaviness of the situation and how much these characters do, in spite of everything, really do want to be together. The way it deals with these heavy topics while simultaneously being an uncynical take on this pairing just really made this story work wonders with me, and I applaud you for it.
Kudos, and congratulations on your well-earned victory. Hopefully it gets this story some deserved attention. And I really, really do need to read The Twilight Effect.
Congratulations on the win!
Like I said I my previous comment, this is a work of art. You deserved the top spot.
11589321
gosh, i wish i had the words to express how much this comment means to me, u really picked up on a lot of the emotions i was going for and hit on the core of it all—uncynical!! the me of even 2-3 years ago probably wouldnt have been able to execute this fic the way i wanted simply due to the doomer mentality ive worked so hard on growing out of. recently ive found so much joy in the human experience and just existing in the day-to-day moments i have with the people around me, and even though i dont know when a “see u later” will be a “goodbye forever”, its always more fulfilling to treat every second of time like something special, even if it doesnt feel like it yet
(and yes, you really should go read my magnum opus i promise you wont regret it ^^)
thank you again for such a lovely comment, and for all your work in organizing the contest!
11589404
thank you so much!! <3
Congratulations on your win! This was a delightful read.
A lot has been said about the story and the emotions involved already, which hits that good stuff. but I think what really elevates this story to me is the prose itself. Flash's struggle here shows not just in the events of the narrative, but in the words themselves, with a great use of repetition and the framing of every detail through the lens of Flash's depression.
Someone get these kids some therapy.
11590082
ahh thank u! i rlly enjoyed ur fic as well :D
i think a cool thing ive tried recently is “painting” with words—the shapes of letters, the sounds they make when you read them out loud, the rhythm and rhyme and setting patterns and breaking them in the middle, etc. maybe it’s a little out there, but ive found it can b cool to disregard specifics and just have fun with the actual words ^^
thanks again for reading!
There's not a whole lot that I can add here that hasn't been said by others, but that should attest to how good this story is. It's a black cloud with a glistering silver lining. You make every single word of this count. It feels so dense, so concise, and has good depth. Every bit of detail feels like it's right where it belongs. The voicing and the tone are harmonious through and through. I could go on, but I think you get the idea.
I'm not gonna lie, the moment I saw your name pop up in this contest, I was excited to dig into this. When I finally read it, I was happy but not surprised to see you delivered. You just Do Not Miss. Congrats on the win; you absolutely earned it. Thanks for yet another banger
11590869
thank u so much for reading! im really happy u liked it, and the way u describe as the cloud w a silver lining rlly hits at what i was going for, im glad it came across that way in the end—every little decision of “do i cut this? can i leave this in?” was painful but with the reception its gotten i think it was so, so worth it
This line sold me on the fic immediately omg. It's so simple yet effective in setting the tone for the rest of the work. A seemingly mundane change that has a whole slew of implications in reality. On a semi-related note I LOVE the decision that after Twilight's become an alicorn, her human form gains those princess fancy gloves. It's something I've always admired in your art of her and it really serves the story here. Gives her that sort of "untouchable" quality. I love it :D
ehehehe >:)
They are just babies :') this was such a cute little moment but also I've read the tags. I know how this is gonna end. But also: Twilight and Flash <3
I love this detail--it's almost like a built in curfew and also kinda reminds me of Cinderella and the whole "when the clock strikes midnight, I must go back!" deal. Only further emphasizing the princess aspect.
this is utter poetry
:(((
Both of them knowing that their relationship will have to come to an end eventually but neither ever having the heart to address it fully....... I am on the floor weeping
On one hand sunset and flash silly banter times my beloved but on the other OUCH :( there is something so terribly ironic about sunset (who's currently dating a girl who looks just like the girl he's dating) being the one he confides in when this all comes to a head. I love how you've written them.
This sentence made me go absolutely feral it's so GOOD and has so many LAYERS!!! I love how it calls back to that one line from the first scene--her hands are still cold. Nothing's changed. But ALSO before this, the gloves were just another physical barrier keeping Twilight and Flash separate (like the portal to Equestria but NOT) and now that they've finally talked about it she's not wearing the gloves! There's nothing between the two of them!!!! She is vulnerable and so is he! I AM EATING THIS SYMBOLISM LIKE SOUP
And what a moment to end on, indeed. :') crying i love them sm
Goodness I have been meaning to read this for forever and I'm so glad I finally did. Your style of prose flows so easily, almost like a fairytale. And while this might be a fairytale that destroyed me, it's also one that I will most certainly be revisiting in the future. Congratulations again on the win, and thank you for writing such a lovely story!! <3
11605003
ahhh thank u so so much for the lovely comment!! it makes me so happy to see which lines stuck out to u and what u picked up on (especially the little details like the gloves ^^)
actually, this fic only exists bc of the first line! i was just lying in bed fighting insomnia when the first and last lines of this fic got beamed directly into my brain from who-knows-where. likely it stemmed from thinking Too Much about princess twilight and how TALL principal celestia and luna are in eqg, and then going “well wont twi eventually b like that too” and then spiraling from there haha
it’s like i always say, flash grows on u like mold, and in my case ive grown to like him a whole lot more than id expected to,,, im so glad u enjoyed the story, thanks so much again for reading!
This was fantastic! First thing I've ever seen to sell me on Flashlight, lol. You made their relationship really charming, although Twilight still being with Flash while she's a teacher and he's in high school feels weird.
11611701
yea, making the timelines line up to canon is weird what w starlight’s reformation happening at the end of friendship games nd all. i figure she nd twi r in more of a mentor-mentee situation at that point, but in general considering i view the horse world charas a full-grown adults any cross-dimensional shipping is a lil weird if i think too hard abt it haha
but regardless thanks so much for reading, and for commenting!
*applause * damn, that was good. It hurts, you hurt for them and yet they still move forward. Love the message of live now because tomorrow is tomorrow's concern.
So I decided that I'm reading deprived enough to read heartstrings. Had no clue what to expect or whether or not I'd like it. But I wasn't disappointed.
Also congrats on winning that contest.
So since it kind off became a that I do, here is another entry in: "_R_E_D_A_C_T_E_D_ translates a polish song and goes through heavy internal anguish at how bad it is afterwards":
So let's drink to health, Cheva-Legers
Let sorrows die with broken glass
When we're gone, no one will know
Whether it was good or bad for us /x2
Because when a girl you like dumps you
Then don't despair and don't shed tears
But have some wine with your friends
And all sorrows will go away /x2
Gray uniforms, gold trim
Oh, how beautifully it all shines
But what is hidden at the bottom of the heart
No one will know this /x2
But the times will come when these fuckers
Will stand at attention in front of us
The hand will not tremble like an aspen leaf
When we will beat their stupid faces /x2
So let's drink to health, Cheva-Legers
Let sorrows die with broken glass
When we're gone, no one will know
Whether it was good or bad for us /x2
This time thae song is Szwoleżerowie or Cheva-Legers which means Light Cavalry.
And yes It's a french name because we kind off didn't have a country back then and were fighting under Napoleon.
Ok with that out of the way time for random post read thoughts.
Ah, yes. The Schizophrenia of Cross-ParallelDimensional relationships. Ignore the age differences.
Hey! What's your problem with the doom, disaster and destruction machine, named after the storm she was born during and the magical artifact that she destroyed?
I once wanted to drink something that wasnt just plain water but didn't have the patience to make tea, so I took some sugar, lemmon juice and filtered tap water, mixed it together. And it somehow had even less taste. Got about the same feeling as from this.
If you live your entire life in crazy town what we see as mundane will be a break from routine for you.
One could interpret the message of this story as, even if you know tommorow things will fall apart, that's a tommorow's problem, today focus on what in now and carpe diem.
Ok I thing I'm out of things to say that wouldn't be just repeating what others have said before. But when I realised that this ship is called Flashlight I had to take my time to laugh a bit.
Also I had to re-write most of this comment becouse I clicked something and it got deleted. Fortunately It was just this and not my physics assignment.
Take care.
11741147
im glad you could still give this fic a shot! flash is a very contentious chara (hell, i wanted nothing to do with him until the Writing told me to write this fic), so it’s great to have people come out the other end of this story still satisfied with what theyve read. im very proud of it!
and, i think that song fits the vibes a lot ^^ the feeling of a doomed relationship, or a broken one, and moving on despite it all… i think it’s a universal one. the same way we all have our one-note chords and our lemon-sugar-waters that dont make us feel any better than we are.
thank you so much for the comment, and for reading!
I interpret it as her basically being a diplomat but with actual administrative power. Until she actually takes over later but in the meantime
Hello! I know you already know that I reviewed this fic, but here is the belated courtesy note, plus the like and fave to go with it. As I said in the review, a really fine look at a relationship that's rarely taken seriously.
11771097
thank you so much again for the review!