• Member Since 4th Oct, 2021
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Lulamoon-Crystal


Trixie is not a dinosaur!

E

Just a random bunch of random I had in mind

Jazz’s ears escaped her head again. She hates it when this happens. Well, guess she’ll just need to look for them... again


Takes place a while before “Make Your Mark”

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 23 )

Reminds me of when Bugs Bunny’s ears had a mind of their own.

It's cute that you think there's a coherent timeline in the first place.

11522116
Sorry. Guess I didn’t really word that right. I just wanted to avoid confusion on when this takes place

Always did find it funny how often that happens...

Is this story supposed to be marked Complete or it is to be updated with more chapters?

Takes place a while before “Make Your Mark”

But doesn't that take place in G4 and not G5?

11522160
Make your Mark is both the name of the first G5 Special and the CGI animated series. That would suggest this story takes place some point between the end of the film and the first special.

11522152
Yeah. There’s gonna be more chapters. The whole story is written. Just split into chapters are going to be pre-read and fixed up before I publish them

11522300
im already immediately jealous of your planning skills, my sad dumbass just publishes as I write :rainbowlaugh:

11522160
No


Where did you get that idea?

I see the old fandom tradition of writing stories based on animation errors is alive and well.

I really love Jazz. Hope to see more of her in the show.

this is a bit too cruel for my liking.

11522300
So is it fully finished and published now? I'm asking 'cause it's a fun idea and I'd quite like to read this -- but I don't want to read it and then find out I've missed some of it. It's marked Complete, and that's supposed to mean a story is already fully done with no more left to add. But I can't be certain given previous comments here.

11522701
Well, yeah. But sometimes I do add little bits to stories in the future or fix some stuff up. So if you want to wait then that’s fine. But if you’re talking about what comment I think you’re talking about:

That was commented before the story was completed. I think they made a typo and meant to say “incomplete” or misread it as saying complete. Seeing as how my story was labeled incomplete at the time of that comment (Not saying they are wrong or anything. Just a small error, easy mistake)

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Seeing as how my story was labeled incomplete at the time of that comment

Aha. That's really what I was asking. So if it's complete now, there's no problem. Thanks for taking the time to answer! :twilightsmile:

Yea, interesting story, but too mean to Jazz for my liking.

Jazz didn't deserve all of the bad stuff happening to her in the story, especially during the 2nd and 3rd chapters.

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11522667

Oh...

Okay...

So... What parts exactly were ‘too’ harsh? I might be able to tone them down a little

11561193
The beatings mostly. They weren't funny, they were bitter and racially motivated hate crimes.

11561193

The part where a random pegasus slapped Jazz in the face after the ears teleported the pegasus out of nowhere was too much. I was also hoping that the harmful pranks would stop when Jazz was resting underneath a tree, but the ears decided to continue doing them anyway for no reason. Jazz deserved better. A LOT better. Here's my suggestion to fix the story:

-At the part where Jazz's ears dance in the middle of the street, have them teleport Izzy. Jazz would crash into Izzy, and Jazz would give up on the search because she's taken enough abuse by that point.
-Izzy would use her magic to clean up Jazz and style her up like she did in chapter 3. Jazz would realize that her ears are back and spends the rest of the night in her house in peace.
-Jazz wakes up the next morning and has a normal day until her ears go missing once again. Jazz would roll her eyes and go, "(sigh) Here we go again...."

11561193
The last chapter with Jazz being beaten up and then fired for no reason, to me at least, feels too mean and less about the funny slapstick.

This is a drastic improvement over the original ending.

There needs to be a TYT episode on this! It would fit! :pinkiesmile:

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