Mr. Cake is unhappy because of his wife's unknown-to-public true self. Will he have to endure the torture for the rest of his life or will a certain pink mare be the solution?
Not a clop.
I don't see why the characters of Mr and Mrs Cake aren't in the cast selection. I see them in alot of fics, knighty should add them.
If you have a problem with imagination, Think that the characters are actually non-fiction and think they are real with a train track of nature, Can't read heavy teen stuff. DO NOT READ THIS.
Chapters (6)
THIS....Intrigues me. I shall track you sir. Like a boss.
d'aww it's almost romantic if it wasn't so twisted
I was already prepared to give you 5 stars for the simple fact that it involved Pinkie and both the Cakes and was not a clop.
The sad part is, I could totally see this happening in real life. The world we live in today
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Hmm. I always thought of Pinkie as the Cake's sort of 'Adopted daughter'. Interesting to see something new.
Great work, but to see the curse words shcoked me a little bit. Seems a bit out of caracter for... Well, the entire MLP universe. Only issue i had with it.
I've detected no spelling or grammer issues, but i didn't really pay attention. Leave it to someone who not as tired as i am right now.
Tracking, but reluctantly. Seems like a good concept, but not one that intest me too much. Hope to be proven wrong.
-The Librarian
Cupcake is just to out of character and that's destroys completly any sense of immersion, I can't relate with the story
Anything really nasty that Mrs. Cake says yo can blame on me. I came up with the idea for her to be written this way as well as a lot of the nasty things she says as well as other aspects of the story. I like how my outline came to life and how winter threw in a couple of surprises. I'm proud to be part of this team. Kudos for making this happen.
How it Began: The story behind this was Winter threw the idea out there of shipping Pinky with Mr. Cake, but didn't wanted to make it a clop or ruin Pinky Pie's character. My solution is we make Mrs. Cake the villain and we make the affair an act of heroism.
Oh and trust me Mrs. Cake only gets worse from here. My inspiration for her nastiness comes from me working retail.
Peace Out.
87921 really? would you care to describe her character for me? She has about 15 words said in total all 2 seasons.
Hehe. That is all. Winter you rock. Why was it spaced so differently?
Spousal abuse isn't just male-on-female. Some women do pick on their men. A pretty dark topic, but certainly more interesting than all the war stories people produce.
One thing to note is that canon has already established that the Cakes have a kid. The episode after next has Pinkie babysitting for them.
87902 Shes an apprentice, they lived with their teachers - Read description - and I hate the word concept. Alot. It's a story not a 'concept'
87941 Yeah, I know about that episode and I choose to ignore it. Pretend you didn't read that part because I don't plan on changing it
87941
We make it Alternate Universe, if we add the kid make him adopted. Most likely there will be no kid. In our story Mr. and Mrs. Cake are about 30 years old and Pinky is about 21-23 years old. We keep our fanon and besides if everyone stuck with what's canon some of the best fics wouldn't exist. Bing Bang Boom we're done.
Peace Out.
87935 Maybe she said only a handful of word in two seasons, but none of those words were spoken by a bitter bitch, i wish i could expess my idea better, but i´m from Argentina, english it´s my second lenguage, what I'm trying to say it´s that action defined a character and nothing in the character actions suggest anything like what you wrote and also you gave no good reason to justify the change in her personality.
So... Not clop but borderline trolling on those that like Mr and Mrs. Cake? Plus adultery. Fine for fantasy clopping but inappropriate on so many levels for this.
88108
I wonder how you managed to pass any english class, In PUBLIC shes sweet and all, but privately shes a bitch. It's called fiction. I would learn that term if your going to use this site.
88115 say it with me people fan- FICTION.
And I said this wasn't a clop.. if someone does somehow manage to do such a thing to this its their business.
88124
Not quite my point. I'm just saying that when it comes to general sexuality, adultery can be kinky and soforth. But seems, as said, inappropriate in this situation. I mean, why not also have Rarity's mom break her dad's legs? It makes just as much good nonsense.
There are a couple grammar/spelling errors, simple things like your/you're and some puctuation errors when attributing dialogue. Formatting seems a bit odd and spaced out, but that may be just because I'm reading on a Kindle so take it with a grain of salt. Overall, an intriging start though.
I have to say this intrigued me. I can't wait to see more! good job!
88151 it would be hard to make a plot from that, but seeing as this indeed has a plot I see now harm in it whatsoever.
87940 fixed it
Yay! More love to Carrot Cake! I read clopfic "Cakepie" and it was awesome, I get that you've got inspiration from that. Mrs Cake is a bitch and I hope she'll get hers. Pinkie + Mr Cake for the win! GO PINKIE!
Nice work. Made me happy.
i dont care what the parasprites say, I see nothing wrong with the characterization. ( i hate how putting 'i' in all caps doesnt really show much emphasis... a major flaw in the english language, if you ask me). the adultery, ehh im not a fan. but its fiction. and nothing makes me smile like a good fiction. keep it up!
O BOI! HERE WE GO!
88323 I haven't read that. I don't read clopfics the only clop I ever read was one I thought was just a grimdark and halfway through reading it i was like
is this a clop?
Then I stopped reading it lol.
88380 In the English language 'i' is capitalized to show first person view
88703
I suggest reading it. Relationships between Carrot and Cup written nicely and very much like you wrote here. Pinkie, Cake, Carrot, characters, feelings, pretty much the same idea just with clop. It may give you inspiration.
88716 My friend told me about that - He said mrs. cake is a bitch, then pink and carrot clop then end- doesnt sound too good to me.
88745
Well, to be frank, your fic can be described like "mrs cake is a bitch then pink and carrot top shipping then end' - so, give it a shot ^_^ At least you can use dialogues between Carrot and Pinkie. Oh, also read fanfic "Getting Back Together" - about Carrot\Pinkie\Cup love.
88758 Well from reading the first chapter you could say that, and I guess I'll give those fics a read. Right now im occupied trying to kill a tank with a defibrillator lol
88758 Just read cakepie... I read all of ch.1 it was kinda disturbing and very hollowly written.. but it was funny at one point I couldn't help but laugh out and on ch.2 I just stopped halfway it was boring and it was about to get really weird. Is that second one the same? if so I prob wont read it.
88704 i know, but i always wanna put emphasis on it, like for instance, 'well, IIII think that blah blah blah.."
hehe
ive only spoken english for 18/18 of my years so i know its supposed to be capitalized
89038 Considering they are always talking in first person its actually required, I could of course not capitalize them but then the grammar nazi's would be after me
89054 yeah understandably so. my original comment, though, was typed in frustration of being unable to emphasize the 'I'. it seems that my point has been self-made, as you didnt catch that i was trying to. that proves that u cant emphasize 'i'. and it makes me a little sad inside.
lol
88242
Yay! Better and not annoying anymore!!!!!!!!!!!
90253 You remind me of a friend of mine, very confusing and weird.
But yeah, when its in first person its going to stay the same.
90723 huzzah! mine identity hast been compromised!
91304 Prithee you jest?
From beyond thy cloud of innocence I look below at the hollow crust of amazement?
91358 Yea, verily. 'Tis nary the time of day from whence he cometh, arriving on the eastern seaboard. Alas, perchance he shall be early?
94173 :p yep your just like my friend, loads of fun.
I have a fic called Love is Chaotic- its a discopie and half of it is written in Shakespearean
And yae, early shall the time be as I announce the presence!
"take for granite"
you mean for granted?
nice chap 2. Glad to see you've read that clopfic and incorporated parts of dialogue into here, fits perfectly. DIVORSE HER CARROT AND MARRY PINKIE
I know I already read this part but still.... that's so sweet....
94193 Oh Great Celestia, this demands mine immediate attention.
94970
no granite as in the rock...she thought he was a rock
95033
oh, yes, Pinkie logic, I almost forgot)
I just hope that nopony takes Pinkie as a "homewrecker", althought that's the most probably thing if their romance gets caught
94970 Fixed, and I have no idea what you mean by me adding some of the clopfic in my fic.. I did not enjoy it at all other than its sudden absurdity at one point that made me laugh
95075
quote from clopfic (Cakepie - http://pastebin.com/8Yqcn4ai)
== “Well, what would you have me do, Pinkie? Argue with her? You know that only makes her worse. Divorce her? Where would I go? She’d get the shop, and that’s all that I have.”
“If she had thrown that cookie at me like that, I’d have kicked her right in her nose.”
“I can’t do that Pinkie. Besides, throwing a cookie is hardly the worst she’s ever done.”
Pinkie was speechless for a moment. “What do you mean, Mr. Cake? You mean she’s gotten violent before? Mr. Cake, has she kicked you?”
Mr. Cake’s voice rose; he wasn’t liking where this conversation was going. “I’m a lot bigger than her, Pinkie. I’m a stallion, she’s a mare. I could hurt her if I wanted to. It doesn’t work the same the other way around. It’s different.”
“No it isn’t, Mr. Cake. That’s totally unfair.”
Mr. Cake sighed. “Life isn’t fair, Pinkie. I’m resigned to that.”
Pinkie couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “And just how much longer are you going to keep this up?”
“I...,” Mr. Cake began. His voice started to crack. Oh god, Pinkie thought to herself, is he going to cry? “... I’m going to keep this up for as many years as I’ve got left. I don’t know how many that is. But I can take this. It’s the only life I have.”
Mr. Cake hung his head down. Pinkie herself felt like crying. She couldn’t stand seeing other ponies sad. She had always considered making other ponies happy and cheerful as a personal duty of hers. She wanted to do something for Mr. Cake. Something big.
What's matter that you improved it and wrote fic without clop-part, and made nice progress in their relationship.
==
So, same 'divorce will take his bakery away', 'mrs Cake hits him', 'pinkie wants to cheer him up', 'he can't strike back' and all that. Similar dialogues, similar thoughts. So, don't act coy
95066
I helped write majority of this fic. Trust me that home was already wrecked. I know adultery is wrong but isn't more wrong to be married to someone you no longer love and hate. My question is that should Mr. Cake be forced to suffer because of one bad decision? Pinky saves him in more ways than one. That is why it's called My Pink Savior.
We have plans to resolve this story beautifully.
95093 Ehh... I kinda had all that stuff in mind before I read that ...fic I guess you could call it- It's just coincidence that they are similar I was following the lines of regular heard abuse and thought of a reason why he couldn't get away.
And I don't write clop, too weird - I've only read the clops that are hilarious like this one with fluttershy and bloomberg it was hilarious.