• Member Since 15th Mar, 2022
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writing stories to improve my creative writing

Comments ( 29 )

Yeah they are sold like cheap trinkets but if someone gives you a gift be sure it has no meaning beyond it just a gift before you get rid of it. Twilight should have thought about the fact discord doesn't exactly have a ton of friends so anything could be very meaningful to him considering he never had them before.

Exactly, a lot of Twilight's faults come from her own ignorance. I think it's also a matter of how differently the two express their affection and it often results in conflicts which is the opposite effect of what they intended, e.i. Three's a Crowd. But growing to understand your friends and their boundaries while also considering their feelings is also a valuable lesson to be learned! :)

With a click, he heard too many times Discord was gone. Spike turned back picking up the rag to start polishing the plates again when a second snap ranged. All cleaned and neatly stacked the dishes laid. Spike grinned, taking off his apron to enjoy the rest of his day.

Aww that was actually nice of Discord doing it for a spike

Awww this was a cute story so it looks like Discord was going shopping to a thrift shop and apparently he's a regular there so he checked out the items until he came across a necklace and it looks like it was a necklace back in season 4 three in crowded and he was pretty upset about it so he went to find Twilight but he was not at Ponyville so Spike explain to him that he's in Manhattan and when he confront Twilight telling her why did she sell The Necklace especially on a cheaper price and I get she doesn't want to hold too many items but I guess there was some significant about that necklace shows a token of friendship he was pretty upset and just left and Twilight felt really guilty so she tried to find a way to get to his realm check out the library to see if there's any other strong Magic and after a couple hours and figuring out she finally found a way to get to his home and Discord was pretty surprised to see her here Twilight was pretty happy to see him and she even apologized for not taking his feelings in account especially item that meant something so she gave him a gemstone of the color coded which that is pretty cool and apparently Discord was pretty happy that she did all this for him I think that's actually pretty nice keep out the good work

Not a bad story.

Ironically, I ALSO have an OC named Brush Stroke. However, he is an artist who is essentially the Element of Creativity (which focuses on wonderful ways to show your friends you care about them and basically goes hand in hand with many of the other Elements of Harmony.) He is Horspanic (Hispanic) and also has a prosthetic leg (think Kerfuffle from that one MLP special, but made of all wood, but Enchanted to act like a regular limb.

Aww, thank you! I appreciate it~!!

That's so funny, honestly, I just needed a fitting name for a job that requires you to be surrounded by literature constantly. I love your OC though, the detail about his leg is a nice touch!

Yeah sometimes I wonder about her empathy skills considering she managed to hurt rainbow twice and actually sitting down with her and saying plain language the problem would have been better. Even when sunset needed someone to be by her side she couldn't be bothered to actually do that.

This warmed my heart so much. They really never expanded enough on a bond between Discord and Twilight! Great job!

It was a cute story, I loved how you gave Discord an attribute like a hobby which made sense and the confrontation between him and Twilight.

But I really felt like the story suffered after that, you didn't really get to explain why Twilight threw it out in the first place until near the end which could've explored her feelings more maybe give some backstory to how she even got rid of it.

The libary scene was okay but that part where she walked just seemed like you needed to hammer in the fact what she did was bad. I felt like you could've done that better like, maybe have the fillies knock at Twilight's door and a friendship problem occurs that seriously shows the other side about how the friend would feel, like we know Discord feels sad and we know Twilight felt bad about it but what if using the friendship problem shows how much it really hurts Discord.

Possibly say the friend that got hurt from the BFF necklace was alone or out casted by the class and felt like that friend was the only real connection to her. Make references and connections between Discord and Twilight and let her really sink in what made her selling the necklace hurt him other than just having the moral be "it was rude because it was sentimental to him" and have it like "This connection he made with Twilight was one he made alone, a strife in his long journey to understand friendship and it was an effort made by himself."

I also felt like you kinda could've allowed Fluttershy to be more apparent, have her help Twilight in some way while being able to alleviate some of the guilt Twilight was feeling, have a perspective on Discord on what he felt was natural after such heart break since he rarely feels it.

Overall cute and nice but I could definitely feel the story losing some traction near the middle section and end part.

Thanks. I thought it was cool when I thought it up. Makes him sort of the unique one among the Mane Six (though being the only other guy- other than maybe Spike- among the Elements is also sort of unique.) He runs his own painting shop called "Brush Stroke's Rush Strokes," where he draws pictures and even paints homes and such.

Oh my gosh this story was so cute. You've hit the nail on the head in terms of characterization here: Discord may be a callous jerk at times but he really does value friendship, and Twilight might be inconsiderate from time to time but she always wants to do the right thing. I feel like this easily could of been an actual episode of the show, and for that you get a Derpy :derpytongue2:

Omg, I really liked the points you brought up. I completely understand what you were getting at with losing traction near the end of the story, I really should have the point hover over her head to have the confrontation at the end more impactful in a sense. To be honest, I do admit that I shorten the scenes to make the story more succinct but I now understand that made them lose their importance as well. Thank you so much for the criticism, I think I'll re-write the story at some point or at least add more to the scenes to make them contain more merit for sure!

Thank you so much!! :D

Thank you! I totally agree, in the show, it was more of the two trying to get under each other's skin. It wasn't until season 9 that their relationship moved out of the theme of annoying one another. But they have a very fun dynamic that I love to write and explore!

Such a great original story. Both seemed super in character and I can only wish this could be a real episode.

With a click, he heard too many times Discord was gone. Spike turned back picking up the rag to start polishing the plates again when a second snap ranged. All cleaned and neatly stacked the dishes laid. Spike grinned, taking off his apron to enjoy the rest of his day.

I love small acts of kindness like this. overall this was just really sweet, and I also enjoyed seeing twilight in research mode

Really good story! I think one of the most annoying aspects of the show is that while they often showed Twilight and Discord at loggerheads, they never really showed their friendship which made it difficult to understand why Twilight put up with him. This kinda is what I wanted in terms of explaining their relationship. Great work :twilightsmile:

after my therapy visit im kinda well im a total mess. This was a big help getting my head together, a sweet fanfic about book horse and discord, thank you for writing this.

mha heart...
mha soul...

Thank you! :)

I know exactly what you mean, they would constantly conflict with each other and it made me wonder on more than one occasion why they're even friends LMAO

That means so much to me, thank you for reading!!!

:ajsmug: Ya know Twi? You could of just waited for Fluttershys tea time when it comes to seeing Discord.
:pinkiehappy: She's not wrong
:rainbowlaugh: All Shy needs to do is call his name
:duck: Or wait for this evenings O&O Adventure, Am I Right Precious Scales
:moustache: Yea, Everyone likes a good O&O Adventure
:facehoof: I'm such a silly pony
:yay: That's Apple Jack!

This was not bad.
I understand both their point of views and think they both overreacted.
Discord went out of character right away, though.

I really didn’t have to go through all this effort. I wasn’t that hurt.


There are various other errors but this one is too egregious to leave alone

Thank you for catching that, it's fixed now!

I think that's also largely because of pacing too. I acknowledge that this story has a lot of flaws which I am planning to fix at some point in the future :)

This fic was so cute. But again... Discord had a point. Finding something you explicitly made for your best friend in a thrift store must hurt a lot. :(

Very nice. Her not putting much stock in the item had a more believable reason than I had expected.

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