Twilight's Diamond Daughter

by deadpansnarker

Chapter Ten Part 2: Filthy Lays It On The Line

Just across town as the crow flies from the Silver’s mansion, you optimistically might’ve hoped things were slightly calmer in the rather more gargantuan setting of Rich Manor.

After all, our warring duo of wealthy aristocrats would surely have made even a token gesture to patch things up after the enforced removal of their only child, right?

True… it’d only been one short day since the vast corridors of their large residence had been made that much lonelier by the sad absence of the tiara-wearing filly.

But certainly that should’ve been enough time to talk some of their many issues through. Clean up parts of the mess off the floor left by their numerous fights. Maybe even begin to turn their thoughts into allowing a few of their missing staff to return to duty…?

No such luck.

“What do you mean you’re taking an extended leave from work, Filthy?! How are you supposed to provide for me… us, if you’re here lounging around in your underwear feeling sorry for yourself instead of putting your muzzle to the grindstone at Barnyard Bargains like you should be? Do you really think Princess Twilight will allow our daughter to return if we’re reduced to living in the poorhouse, because of your pathetic sad-sack act? You don’t see me refusing to go to Ponyville Elementary in my very important role as head of the school board this morning, do you? You need to pull yourself together, and…”

“That’s quite enough out of you, ‘dearest’. You’ve had your say, and now I’m kindly going to give you the opportunity to draw breath while I lay a few simple facts in front of you for your consideration. My job has been such a distraction to me for the last few months, it’s made me lose sight of what’s really valuable in life… and no, I’m not talking about the tacky overpriced trinkets you seem to love squandering my bits on so much. I mean my precious relationship with Diamond Tiara, and the fact she’s gone because of my own carelessness and selfishness will forever be a stain upon my life.”

“Pffff! Overwrought nonsense, if ever I heard it. The real reason our filly got removed into royal custody is you suddenly woke up one day and got all argumentative and full of yourself. Whatever happened to the meek and mild stallion I married, the one who followed my heeding without any objections, the one who was so agreeable, compliant…”

“He grew a backbone, Spoiled. How many times do I have to tell you, things are never going to be like they were ever again. Ever since I went on that company day-trip to Manehattan for the self-help seminar, I realised the error of spending so many years being a pushover around you. Now I feel confident, determined, happier than I’ve ever been…”

“I curse the ground that meddling minotaur Iron Will stomps on. Ever since that awful day, you’ve been so unreasonable; telling me to earn my own money, refusing to wear what I specifically pick out for you every morning, even deigning to remark that my pristine nose-job was a disaster! How could you?!”

“Very easily Spoiled, when it’s the truth. If you can’t see that you looked and felt much happier when we first met before your radical personality change and multiple surgeries, then I really can’t help you. What happened to that easy-going, happy-go-lucky mare I fell in love with, anyway? When you lived on that dairy farm way back when, you didn’t care about material possessions at all, did you? If only your old self could see how you turned out, she’d…”

“W-We are not discussing this now, Filthy Rich! La-la-la-la-la-la!!” Spoiled Rich was never the greatest singer (and she knew it) but that didn’t stop her from abruptly jumping away from the dining room table to plug her ears with her hooves in a most unladylike fashion. “You promised me on our wedding night that we’d never mention my past again!”

“That was before I noticed how many false airs and graces you put on just because you felt you had to ‘fit in’ to upper-class society, and how ruinous it was to your appearance and personality. Even after I told you repeatedly you didn’t need to, because that’s not why I fell for you in the first place!” Filthy Rich shook his head as the painful memories came flooding back. “That, maybe I could’ve lived with… after all, your choices are your own mistakes to make. It’s when you allowed that vain and conceited attitude to seep through to our daughter, that’s what I can’t excuse. Or indeed, my inattention in allowing the situation to continue for so long.”

“Well, this is the thanks I get… I was teaching her about the facts of life of living in such a cutthroat world, where everypony is out for themselves and to get ahead, you have to be a strong, unyielding force. You do see what kind of cutie mark resides on her flank, don’t you? One of these days, that filly is going to grow up to be an influential leader; but if she’s even a fraction of the weak little lickspittle I used to be, who’s going to listen to her? I just want her to fulfil her potential, and…”

“Oh my gosh. You just don’t get it, do you Spoiled?” At this juncture Filthy also slowly rose from his chair, to give his one and only wife a look which could be described as a mixture of pity and contempt. “What you describe there isn’t a ‘strong leader’, but an out-and-out tyrant. If I ever ran Barnyard Bargains in that kind of uncompromising manner, nopony would want to work for me, and we’d be closed down within a week. If you want to see a great role model for Diamond to take after one day, look no further than Princess Twilight…”

“What? You mean, the very alicorn responsible for taking away our daughter in the first place? How can you speak so positively of somepony who overreacted so much to a simple domestic situation?”

“Actually, I’m not sure she did.” Filthy scratched the bottom of his chin thoughtfully, as his spouse’s own jaw dropped in amazement. “You see, look at it from an outsider’s perspective. If I heard of a young filly being caught in the crossfire of a big feud between two warring parents for weeks on end and getting hurt in the process, I’d feel duty-bound to report it to the authorities also. Can’t you see Spoiled, considering the amount of real danger she was in just by being around us, that the Princess’s decision wasn’t that disproportionate?”

“A-Absolute codswallop. That minor abrasion she had was caused by a tiny fragment of broken glass, and we don’t even know it was our fault in the first place.” Spoiled was uncharacteristically hesitant in her stammered denial then, almost as if she couldn’t even convince herself of the truth. “A-And even if it was, accidents happen. Why, back when I was forced to do slave labour on the farm, I used to trip over that stupid milking bucket at least twice a day…”

“Now who’s ‘bringing up the past’ again, Spoiled? And as I recall, you used to actually enjoy working the udders down in the stables. ‘Ermintrude’ was her name, wasn’t it? I wonder how she felt, when you just abandoned her like that after we moved to Ponyville full-time? I can almost see her sad face gazing longingly at you, as we stepped aboard that train…”

“S-Shut up, Filthy.” If Spoiled was sheepish before, now she was positively seething now as Filthy (perhaps to make up for years of persistent nagging) shamelessly goaded her. “I thought we arranged to sit for our first meal together in days to devise a way to move forward with our marriage, not to engage in yet more pointless bickering. Now, do you have anything of actual substance to add to the conversation before I head off to work, or am I just wasting my time?”

“...Wow. Forgive my shock, but this is the first time I’ve ever heard you take me seriously for as long as I can remember. And all it took was having our daughter taken away.” Filthy’s darkly sarcastic side was showing, but for now he opted to put his multiple differences with Spoiled aside to work on a mutual solution. “First things first, we need to put a stop to all this destructive quarrelling. It’s destroying the decor, causing a lot of psychological trauma to poor Diamond, and…”

“...And who knows what the neighbours must think. I swear, I’ll never be able to show my face at an elite soiree ever again, Celestia knows the type of madhouse they must think we live in nowadays…” Spoiled Rich sniffed in her usual pompous way, before a withering look from Filthy brought her back to earth. “S-Sorry dear, do go on.”

“E-Erm okay.” Now it was Filthy’s turn to feel out-of-sorts, as genuine apologies from his stubborn wife were rarer than hen’s teeth. “So anyway, what I propose we do from this point on is talk things through like adults, not engage in futile contests in who can throw fragile objects the furthest at each other. If I can commit to this, do you think you could do the same?”

“Well, it was mostly you engaging in that sort of foalish tomfoolery, after all why would I want to break my own possessions? But if you’re willing to admit to your mistakes, then I’m prepared to be the bigger pony and try also. Should we sign something together, to make it official?”

Baby steps, Filthy Rich, baby steps. “Thank you Spoiled, for your unprecedented display of magnaminty there. Our memories may vary on who may be to blame for starting those fights, but at least we seem to be getting somewhere at long last. And no, this is not a formal business meeting, so no contracts are required. Now, as regards the servant situation…”

“Ah yes, I’ve been waiting for you to raise this essential topic, Filthy. It’s an absolute disgrace that a mare of my fine standing in the community should be expected to mix their own fresh-fruit salad every morning with the chefs on furlough. Plus, since you sent the staff that usually do the shopping away, we haven’t even got any apricots or cantaloupes! How you expect me to keep going on like this, I don’t… why are you shaking your head at me again?”

“Because Spoiled, even if I do rehire the servants back, things are going to change around here. It’s not right you expect them to be at your beck and call for every little whim that pops into your head; especially Randolph. He’s only got about a year and a half until he draws his pension, if that. You can’t expect him to scrub the floor, do the laundry, fix the toilet AND perform daring acts of juggling simultaneously forever! Do you know on how many occasions he’s come close to having a stroke or a heart attack, just to please you? He has great grand-colts and fillies, for goodness sake!”

“I-I… obviously don’t want that to happen. But if we’re paying them such good wages, surely it stands to reason that we require exceptional service.”

“I pay their wages, Spoiled, not you. Don’t ever forget that. I’m very proud of you for getting elected head of the school without resorting to bribery or intimidation for a change, but judging by how much you beg me for ‘spare change’ every day, it can’t be the highest-paid occupation in the world. I also wish I didn’t hear so many complaints from concerned parents every time I go into town…” Spoiled was beginning to put a drain on Filthy’s patience, but he ploughed on regardless.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“If you don’t know already, then there’s no point in me telling you. I just hope my words get through to you one of these days…” Filthy offered his frowning wife a weak smile, before plunging back to the matter at hoof. “Anyway, what have we covered so far? We’ve made a resolution to work things out peacefully from now on, I’ve just told you that the staff will no longer be your own personal chaperones for everything you do, and oh yes, this is the most important issue of all…”

“What could be higher up on the priority list than restoring our well-earned reputation to prominence, or filling our many rooms with working ponies once more?” A slightly confused Spoiled fired back, still unsure how she felt about this new assertive and in-charge Filthy. “Surely you must be mistaken…”

“Getting our daughter back, of course!! Creating a safe and nurturing environment for her to live in. Instilling a sense of loving security that her parents aren’t going to tear each other’s throats out every time they open their mouths. Giving her the freedom to make her own decisions, her own friends and not trying to plan her life out like she was an extension of us! Do I really have to spell it out for you, Spoiled? Everything we do, we should do for her! Nothing else matters! Don’t you see that? Because if you don’t, and things continue to escalate the way they are, there might be only one solution to this problem, as much as it pains me to say…”

A crestfallen Spoiled was about to say something in return, before the huge double-doors of the mansion burst open unexpectedly. A growing sound of hoofsteps could be heard approaching the dining room, until the visitor finally arrived.

It was a chestnut-brown stallion with longish legs and a black saddlebag around his neck. His visible pistol cutie mark might make a few other ponies worry… but this was not necessary, as the motif in question was nothing more than a starter’s gun for a race.

“Filthy, meet Relay Runner, the fastest earth pony this side of Equestria. Whilst you’ve been wasting your time by quitting your job and sitting on your hooves, I’ve actually been using my free time to do something useful. I’ve had Relay here talk to every contact I know who has some connection with the royal family, to ascertain what’s happened to our Diamond. Quite a good idea, don’t you think? You see… I’m not entirely useless after all, am I darling?”

If Spoiled was expecting her husband to be impressed, his glowering expression told otherwise. “...And what would the Princess do, if she found out about your efforts behind-the-scenes to interfere with the process? She’d probably cancel the next reunion we have with our child, that’s what. Couldn’t you have, I don’t know, tried exhibiting a bit of patience for a change? I’m sure Twilight would’ve told us in due course what plans she has for our daughter…”

“What? Allow Miss High ‘n’ Mighty to keep us hanging on for days, if not weeks on end whilst we’re tearing our manes out here wondering what’s going on? I don’t think so! And don’t worry about anypony finding out about my insignificant bit of subtle probing, dear. I made certain that Relay was very careful in his line of questioning, and to not take any unnecessary risks. Isn’t that right, Mr Runner?”

*Gulp* “Y-Yes, your Ladyship. You most definitely did.”

“Hmm…” Something about Relay Runner’s quiveringly servile demeanour reminded Filthy of his past-self, but he cast that thought aside for now. “I’m still not sure we should be doing this. You really should have checked this through with me first.”

“What are you saying, Filthy? You want me to send him on his way without finding out what he knows, when he’s galloped literally hundreds of miles overnight to be here this morning?”

“I-I never said that..”

“Well good, because I never had any intention of doing that. Not after what I paid him, anyway.” Spoiled turned her nose up at the mere thought of such a waste of resources, before turning back to Relay Runner once more. “Okay, now give me the whole report if you please, and don’t leave anything out. Where Diamond Tiara is now. How she’s coping with the temporary separation from her parents. And, more to the point, who’s looking after her.”

Sweat dripping off his brow onto the hard marble floor, Relay Runner staggered in ready to deliver the news. He was just about to start speaking when he noticed both agitated parents standing up at the table, ready to hang on his every word.

“You may want to sit down for this…”

Author's Note:

Well, hello there strangers. Been quite a while, hasn't it? Soz, but a combination of a little something called 'life' and a sudden addiction to one-shots got in the way, but I am back now, with a nice juicy update for y'all. Hope you enjoyed it.

Anyway, glad that September is finally here, it should give me more free time to devote to my pet projects... like the one you're reading right now. See you again REAL soon(ish).

Comments

[Ryshinki]

Very nice chapter.

[BeardedRider]

“Getting our daughter back, of course!! Creating a safe and nurturing environment for her to live in. Instilling a sense of loving security that her parents aren’t going to tear each other’s throats out every time they open their mouths. Giving her the freedom to make her own decisions, her own friends and not trying to plan her life out like she was an extension of us! Do I really have to spell it out for you, Spoiled? Everything we do, we should do for her! Nothing else matters! Don’t you see that? Because if you don’t, and things continue to escalate the way they are, there might be only one solution to this problem, as much as it pains me to say…”

And THIS, this RIGHT HERE, is why Filthy has his head screwed on A MILLION TIMES STRAIGHTER than his pompous, grandstanding wife! Mr. Rich, you sir are a GOOD ONE!

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Ooh, this is getting interesting. But Spoiled is gonna learn the hard way, Princess Twilight is a pony who cannot be paid off or intimidated into submission. Not after all the world ending threats she's faced down.

[deadpansnarker]

11682483 Thanks, I thought so too.

11682710
I think most people would've formed that opinion by now.

11682827
I dunno. That glare of hers could petrify a Medusa.

[Moonlight_Mist]

11683374
A glare she wouldn't dare direct at anyone with any actual social standing if she knew what was good for her.

[deadpansnarker]

11683806
Bluster? Plenty of that she has. Common sense? Not so much now.

[Ryebuck Coppercap]

Filthy and Spoiled are finally talking through their problems at once! Baby steps, but it's progress nonetheless :p