Celestia save us, or more specifically, our eardrums.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 7th May, 2012
- offline last seen Nov 22nd, 2017
ChaoticHarmony
Hey guys! I write sadfics and sadfic accessories! Oh, and I also do comedy things. Yeah. Feel free to check out my stuff! And I hope you enjoy whichever story of mine you happen to be on! ^^
ChaoticHarmony
Joined 7th May, 2012 ·
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Forever
Insanely
Resourceful
Story
Teller
That's an acronym.
An unfair acronym.
And I should really edit my comments together since 2 of the 4 comments are mine and one is another EFR guy and the last one is the author... also HAI CH.
1227112 Unfair indeed.
So far so good, can't wait to see the finished product
I've spent the last 15 minutes trying to find an acceptable way of putting my feelings of "YES" into something understandable by other human beings short of a full mind meld... I was unsuccessful. Therefor you will have to settle for this-
[youtube=BNzSJIjaBSM]
-and an apology for me not being a Vulcan.
MORE SECOND PERSON CH WRITING COMEDIES WITH WITTY COMMENTS IS REQUIRED!
Pretty funny fanfic, I kinda liked the perspective, but the narrator got annoying at times.
Other than that a fresh and entertaining take on an old topic. Good work!
Stache to you:
Oh my.
1237526 Um... is that a good "oh my" or a bad "oh my"?
1237534 Oh, that was a good oh my.
nice story. just had a hard time putting it together. soo much MUTHAFUCKIN YAY!!!!
1238074 Heh, thanks! It was my first attempt at this kind of writing... glad it turned out well, wonder what EqD will say though.
hello
hello
1238383 Um.... hi?
I don't think the narration style worked. It feels like the narrator is deliberately padding the story, talking about himself and the reader instead of ponies and asking the reader questions the reader can't answer. I don't want to read two paragraphs of the narrator saying that he's skipping ahead "for the sake of saving time"; I want to get back to the ponies!
The narrator really breaks the rhythm of the story and doesn't add anything to the story, is more an annoyance than anything else. Beside that, the story is funny enough (i was thinking about Luna, not "Trollestia").
that's a nice bit of art for your OC.
Good fic, quite amusing.
As you told me, it was intended for the narrator to break the story up, but that doesn't need to be. In some parts of your story, it flowed nicely with the narrator coming in. Maybe a slight revision of words is in order, but that would be all.
It was a fun story and I liked the twist at the end. But the narration needs some work, it comes off as a little forced and is too frequent (for such a short story). Maybe try to make the narration a part of the story and not so much breaks from the story?
Like the narration. Plus, what a twist.
It was a goodish read
1311142 Just to let you know, this isn't my best fic by any means. It was more directed towards the troll side of things.
This story is bad and you should feel bad. :|
My problem with it is entirely the narrative tone. Through the entire story, I just wanted the narrator to shut up and let me get on with reading (well, listening, because Reading Rainboom). I've seen stories with this kind of narrative mode work; this is not one of them. Even taken as trollfic, it just comes off as self-serving, and, most importantly, not funny in the least. The one thing that got a chuckle out of me was Luna's appearance. That's it.
1603720 I regret nothing!
Also, I was the one who told RMM to read said story
Being in charge of RRB has some perks 
1603750
NEPOTISM
ABUSE OF POWER
RRB IS FAGS >:V
Naw dawg, I'm enjoying the hell out of that show. So glad there's a new one up!
1607270 I'm glad that we're able to put out new fictions now.
1607279
HOLY SHIT
PUT THIS ONE OUT: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/62858/1/Martial-Bliss/Martial-Bliss
RIGHT NOW
I AM NOT KIDDING THIS IS THE BEST THING
I would have gone through the normal channels but hey, captive audience! :D
All the commentary ruined it for me.
2803989 Sorry >.<
Well, I do call this a blatant trollfic, it wasn't ever really meant to be good.
If you wanted something better, check out my page here on FiMFiction