• Member Since 29th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen Sunday

Wonder


Sometimes I like to just sit down and do nothing. Alright fine, all the time.

E

Breeze and Luna are having lunch at Hayburger, or at least trying to. But needless to say, things get out of hoof.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 29 )

I like this story.The food wars made me laugh.I'm surprised that no one else had review on this fantastic story.

:applejackunsure:
:rainbowderp:
:rainbowlaugh:
Good story, sir!
_________

You win this time, but when my reinforcements arrive, you food will be ours.

your

The mare displayed a smiled that would impress Pinkie Pie

smile

Celestia rounded the corner and could finally see the restaurant in questing and she easily see why they need her help

question

Luna didn't was anytime on pleasantries and set to work.

~elkophys

This looks pretty :rainbowwild:. :pinkiesmile:.

6580524
Thanks for pointing out those mistakes. :twilightsmile:
They're fixed now.

And that's how Equestria was made!:trollestia:

6581454
Maybe next time I'll tell you how I got my cutie mark.:pinkiehappy:

I don't know if I should up vote or down vote XD
there are an equal number of things I liked and disliked

6582048
Just my personal opinion, but I think you should up vote.:rainbowlaugh:

6582106

Well there we go decided for me lol

very silly.
I loved it

Once they use up all of the available resources, it becomes a war of attrition.

6583830
Oooh, clever.:pinkiehappy:
Never thought about that.

6585416 If Twilight joined in, she should use pizza.
I like you.

6585416 loved it and i would have built a mine into another store fore more food

Yeah, I have no idea what the point of this was. It sounded good in my head, but by the time I realized it was bad, I was almost finished so I just did it. This story probably has a lot of errors and stuff, but I don't really feel like editing right now.

Posting this at the top of your story will push readers away from reading it. This told me that you don't even like your own work, so why should I spend my time reading it? You're literally shooting yourself in the foot here.

6591163
hehehe, time to hide it at the bottom. :pinkiecrazy:

Fun story. Lovely idea off the top of your head. Nice work /)
As for editing, that's what fandom friends are for.

Luna had been watching Breeze for the past several minutes as she play with her food, she didn't understand why someone would ruin perfectly good food. First the mare had started with turning her hay fires into a tent.

played, fries

but was stop when a tomato sauce cannon

stopped

Then she had added a church, _______ her citizens a boost in moral. The retched bat pony was also in the middle on constructing library in order to increase her ponies intelligence. Soon she would be at Breeze's mercy. She need her food and she needed it now, before it was too late.

suggestion: giving. Wretched, needed

The waitress rolled the table over the Luna's table.

to

Withing minutes she had twelves medium sized houses.

Within, twelve

what looked like a cola soda-electric damn.

(lovely touch, by the way) dam

after receiving and an urgent summons from the royal guard.

<don't need that>

6591966
Thanks a tonne. Usually when I write, I don't look up from the keyboard and don't realize that I've messed up. Auto-correct gets most of the mistakes, but some of them slip through. Thanks.

:raritywink: We are amused.

This was really fun to read. Lol.

Really good story to read. I hope there are more stories involving Breeze :twilightsmile:

7604230
The madness shall continue on. :pinkiecrazy:

So hows it going with the squel to the orgainl story been a year now

7671774
Been a bit slow unfortunately. Got the basic plan down but haven't been able to write stories much recently. Had my laptop stolen a while back. Don't worry though. I haven't stopped writing. Just... Slowed down.

7672311 omg someone stole your laptop wow that sucks did you get a new one or what?:rainbowhuh:

7673076
Nah, not yet. Can't afford one till I get a job.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!