Shouting is Magic
---- Fluttershy Learns the Royal Canterlot Speaking Voice ----
----Shouting (Especially the kind enhanced by magic) is Magic ----
Hello there, I’m… well… I suppose it’s not important who I am, for I am merely a storyteller. For now, just imagine me as a dark-blue pony with a beautiful mane of silver.
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Oh who am I kidding? Just imagine me how you want to. I suppose a “draw me like one of your French fillies meme” is in order at this point. No? Fine, I’ll just get on with the story I suppose, not like you all care about the author or anyone who had anything to do with said story, so long as you get a laugh right?
Yes, well… how does one start such a story? Does a pony start it off with the usual “once upon a time”? No no, that would never do… this is something that happened merely a month ago! Hmmm… how about… “The butter-yellow mare walked down the dirt path that lead up to her cottage, humming to herself peacefully.” Yes, I suppose that one will do nicely.
Errrgm. Let me just take a sip of water here, it would be terrible if I ran dry during a telling now wouldn’t it? Ah, that’s better. Let’s begin, shall we?
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The butter-yellow mare walked down the dirt path that lead up to her cottage, humming to herself peacefully. Her mane blew gently in the wind, accompanied by her tail and nearly the little pony herself. The hot-pink strands somehow managed to find themselves perfectly groomed after the soft breeze had died down. A loud snapping off to her right made the frightened filly leap aside, trembling with absolute terror as she looked from behind her mane towards the quivering bush.
One might be wondering as to why the little pony didn’t simply trot away from the bush and continue on her day. And, of course, there is an answer to this question, because this is a story, and a story with no answers to the reader’s questions isn’t much of a story.
Well, my dear fillies and gentlecolts, I shall leave you waiting no longer for your answer! The lithe-framed pegasus was simply afraid, her mind had always been the kind to lock down instead of go faster in stressful situations and this occasion was no exception. The pony’s wings snapped to her sides and her legs straightened painfully, causing her to bob back and forth in a comical fashion before coming to a complete stop. Not even a tremor ran through the mare’s body as she watched the green growth with wary eyes.
By now you’ve probably guessed who in Equestria this little pony is. However, some of you may not have. No, it’s not Twilight Sparkle. No, it’s not even Rarity, who is always so scared of mud that she practically lives inside her hou— er…. You know what I mean. Well, for those of you less enlightened, I shall bestow the beautiful knowledge upon you as to the identity of this little pony. Her name was Fluttershy and she was staring at a bush. While standing in the middle of the road. In plain sight. Where a cart could easily hit her. Whe—Well, you get the point right?
Anywhoof, here Fluttershy stood, her eyes scanning the dark insides of the bush in search of another pair that would be staring out at her. She grew frustrated as nothing made its spectacular appearance, drawing her closer and closer to the bush’s leaves in an attempt to pry apart the secret of their occupier. The rustling returned as did her frozen muscles, first from one part of the bush and then in another place altogether. Fear ran unbridled along her body in waves, causing her chest to rise and fall swiftly as the sounds grew in intensity and volume, becoming almost a roar in her ears. A large pair of eyes bloomed suddenly from inside the bush’s depths, moving closer and closer to the edge until the creature was on the point of crossing over into the open.
It was from the dark of the shadow underneath the sheltering green came a ball of white fluff, a tiny scrap of paper trailing behind it. It was from her frozen spot on the ground that Fluttershy watched with terror as the white-haired creature sniffed at her leg hesitantly. She had to suppress one of those trademark squeaks of hers as the thing brushed against her legs and chattered up at her. A flood of relief filled her body as she recognized the creature below her, a warm wave of feeling that took away the cold fear. “Oh, hi there Angel Bunny!” She squeaked again, fearing she had been too loud.
The bunny, more than used to his owner’s peculiar behavior, simply rolled his eyes and waved the piece of paper he had been holding in her face. Fluttershy merely looked past the distraction and back along the road she had been traversing on. “That’s nice, Angel, but momma’s got to go get some of that cream for your special salad.” Normally, mention of his special salad would blank his mind and replace whatever thoughts he had been having with thoughts of the delicious recipe that Fluttershy made for him on special occasions.
However, today he was on a mission, given by the highest authority that Equestria had to offer. It was a simple task but one that needed doing. Simply deliver a letter to Fluttershy when she was outdoors and alone. For such a simple task, he was promised heaps and heaps of carrot cheesecake and piles of the normal variety as well. Angel, being the bunny that he had always been, simply accepted the request with a nod and grabbed the letter on his way out. It was only with the thought of the treats that awaited him after his job that kept him from losing concentration at the mention of his favorite food.
Now, I suppose you all know where this story will end, don’t you? Even though you know the ending, will you continue to listen to a simple storyteller describe the events that lead up to said ending? Well, here I go, hope you haven’t tuned me out already.
Now, an angry ball of white bunny was enough to grab any normal pony’s attention, not to mention the powerful leg that he tapped into her hoof repeatedly. When coupled with the fact that the letter was sealed with the seal of the one and only Princess Celestia, Fluttershy’s attention was now fully devoted to the bunny. “Oooh, Angel what is it?” The bunny practically threw the letter at her, which she caught in her mouth after it nearly fell into a puddle. “Phranks, Anphel.” She blushed as the bunny snickered silently and jumped away, leaving her alone out in the road. The mare turned back to her house and prepared herself for what the letter from the princess contained.
Oh, the naiveties of youth, remember those fun days? Come now, surely you can take a break from the story for a few moments to recall to your mind those things from the past that you acted without wisdom. Urg, never mind that little… exercise. Bad memories and all. Anyhoof, let’s go back to the tale that I left so… uncaringly… in the air.
So, we find our friendly Element of Kindness sitting on her couch, nervously pushing her hooves against the cushions as she contemplated opening the letter. Eventually all her waiting was for naught, the letter’s seal glowing golden for a moment before it flew off, striking the ceiling and clattering to the floor. Fluttershy looked down at the letter, from her perch on the ceiling fan, with a new air of apprehension. It stared back up her (you know what I meant) with a nonchalant expression, simply sitting there as it waited for her hooves to open it and reveal the secrets contained within. With trembling hooves, she reached out and slowly moved the edge of the scroll along the table, the parchment rolling along its bar.
Hmm, what would be the best way to describe what happened next? An explosion of multi-hued magic? How about a blinding light? Maybe an intense thunderstorm brewing overhead and lightning bolts striking the trees that were rooted in the Everfree Forest? I think I’ll keep it simple and to the point, not to mention closest to the actual events that transpired that day.
A puff of blue powder rose on a soft breeze that flowed outward from the ink contained on the letter, encircling the now-terrified Fluttershy before disappearing entirely. She sneezed, squeaking a little at how loud it sounded. Remember how I spoke of the naiveties of youth? Well, sweet Fluttershy thought nothing of the change in volume, chalking it up to merely dust buildup in her home and she made a mental note to dust more often.
She bent down to read the letter’s contents, something about the magic of Friendship and thanking her for helping to save Equestria. “Oh, my… she didn’t have to send me a letter to thank me… I mean, it was no big deal anyway.” She shook her head lightly at the princess’s unneeded gratitude and deposited the letter into a pile of papers that stood in a corner of the room. “Now, I suppose I still have to go to the market and buy that cream.” She grabbed her basket in her mouth and walked over to the door.
What do you think happened next? A shout of rage that totally obliterated the cottage entryway? Perhaps a super-sized fart that propelled her out of the doorway and over Ponyville, where the unknowing Spike let out a belch of flame that ignited the gas that now hung over the town and coating everything in fire? No, nothing of that extremity occurred at that particular point in time, merely another sneeze that lightly rattled the door in its frame. She pushed open the now-silent door and set off at a trot down the road.
Birds on every side sang to her, their songs clashing and flowing together at the same time, creating the beautiful melody of nature, to which the bubbling creek created the tempo. She sang wordlessly as she smiled at the birds in the trees. Her song suddenly increased in pitch until it was as high as the pegasus had ever sung before, cutting off suddenly as the birds all fluttered into the air in fright. She had to repress the urge to fly after her friends, settling for calling after them in a scared voice. “Oh, don’t go little birdies! I didn’t mean to scare you!” She winced at how loudly she had been calling out, sure that the ponies down in the town could hear her by now. She put her head down as she trotted along, muttering to herself. “Oh Fluttershy, you’re such a loudmouth.”
Oh, if only poor Fluttershy knew just how loud her mouth was to become that fateful day. Ooooh, look at the unimportant storyteller, giving us blatant hints as to what happens next! Oh, um… sorry about that, let’s just go back to the story at hand.
For the sake of saving time, I won’t bore you with the details as to the various events that occurred on the road to Ponyville. I will simply state that she walked from point A, her cottage, to point B, Ponyville, and in that space of time, something occurred within our soft-spoken protagonist. As she walked into the streets, filled with ponies going about their daily business, this something made its appearance. And who better to reveal the change within Fluttershy than the premier party pony of Ponyville, Pinkie Pie?
The aforementioned pony leapt out from seemingly-nowhere, screaming out her usual phrase. “Surpri—“ Her word was cut off short as a wall of air smashed into her face and down her throat, sending her into a coughing fit. As the pink earth pony coughed and gagged, Fluttershy slammed a hoof over her mouth in astonishment. In the next instant, Pinkie recovered from the sudden shock and squealed with joy. “Oh wow, Fluttershy! That was really really really really really really loud! I bet you could talk to ponies in Canterlot with that kind of voice. Oh, or you could be a crier for news all across Equestria!
Fluttershy merely backed away in her usual demur demeanor, hiding her face behind her long mane and shivering slightly. “Oh… was I that loud?” She kicked at the dirt as her friend bounced around her excitedly.
“Of course you were, Fluttershy! It’s almost like that time at the Gala that we all went and thought we would all have the best night ever and when I sang the Pony Pokey, but nopony else wanted to do it and you tried to get all the animals at the—“ Fluttershy squeaked loudly as she backed away further. “Wow, that was really loud too, Fluttershy!”
“Oh, oh my… I think I’m going to go now, Pinkie Pie. That is, if it’s all right with you…” Fluttershy didn’t bother to wait for an answer as she whispered loudly; her words drawing the attention of the ponies in the street, causing them to stop in their tasks to follow the butter-yellow pony’s escape into the sky with their eyes. Now, normally our shy little pony would merely return to her home and sit alone in her cottage. However, if she merely did that, what fun would this little story be? Let’s follow our dear protagonist along in her little story of… well, whatever this is.
Flying back where we had left her, Fluttershy was soaring through the open air while frowning in deep thought. Even Pinkie Pie told me I was a loud mouth… What is going on today?
She was pulled from her internal search as a blur of color rocketed past her and sent her into a spin. She flapped her wings a few times to steady herself, watching the rainbow trail following the blur steadily approach her. Out of the wall of color appeared her best friend, Rainbow Dash, who was sweating and panting with exhaustion. “Sorry about that, Fluttershy! I was busy practicing for the Wonderbolts!” The rainbow-maned pegasus waved her hooves in the air extravagantly, her heavy breathing ruining the usual attempt at grandeur.
“Oh, um… it’s okay.” Fluttershy winced at how loud she sounded to herself. Of course, Rainbow Dash reacted as well, though not in such a negative way.
“Oh wow, Fluttershy! You’ve gotten a lot louder! Wanna give me a cheer?” Rainbow, being the brash and untactful pony that she was on occasion, pulled the shy pony down to the ground and sat down on the ground, her head tilted expectantly. After a few moments of staring at each other, the two sighed simultaneously, though Fluttershy’s was of sadness and Rainbows of impatience. “Well Fluttershy?” She huffed angrily, prodding the offending mare with a hoof. “Come on, let’s hear one!”
Well, I suppose you all know where this is going… right? The super-loud and canterlot-voiced “yay” from Fluttershy? If you didn’t see that coming as soon as I brought in Rainbow Dash, then you… um… yeah, back to the tale I was telling. (I can’t just blatantly insult you can I?)
Fluttershy puffed out a small bit of air, attempting to pass of her cough as a cheer. Suffice to say, Rainbow Dash was not amused. “Come on, Fluttershy, give me a real cheer! Please?” The prismatic pegasus looked into her friend’s eyes pleadingly.
The butter-yellow pony simply sighed resignedly. “Okay, but only because it’s you Rainbow.” She felt nothing inside her chest. No buildup of excitement that formed itself into words of joy. Nothing but anxiety rested in her small body. “Um, Rainbow Dash, do you think you can… um… start flying? I don’t think I can do a cheer right now…” She backed away slightly, fighting the urge to simply fly away in terror, and kicked at the dirt.
A blazing heat rose to the shy pony’s face as Rainbow’s eyebrow climbed slightly. “Seriously?” She huffed another sigh as the kind mare’s head bobbed slightly. “Ugh, fine. But I better be able to hear it up in the sky too!” She stomped a hoof in the ground for emphasis. “One super-amazing Rainbow Dash patented flying show coming up!” The pegasus flared her wings outward and smirked at her friend before taking off at a… well… a dash.
And, as Fluttershy watched her friend go into a series of tricks that most pegasi would find impossible to do, she felt something build inside her chest. It built up and up and up, pressing against her throat with a force that was nearly on the point of pain. She pushed it back down only to find it pushing back with more force. The unseen arms of the creature inside of her clawed its way closer to freedom. She couldn’t hold it in any longer, the little pony taking a deep breath and letting go.
How would I go about telling you the way her cheer had effecting Equestria? I need a good word for such a level of destruction. It… erm… obliterated? Exploded? Imploded? Exploded twice maybe? I have no idea. Well, let’s just say that it was big; so big that even the watchful Princess Celestia stopped what she was doing as her ears perked up from the shout that washed across the land. ”YAY!” The eyepiece to her magical telescope aimed and locked onto her target of curiosity, Celestia looked through the lenses at the source of such a noise so very reminiscent of her sister.
Celestia couldn’t suppress a chuckle as she watched the terrified yellow pony fly away from her now-thrown-against-the-mountain friend, Rainbow Dash. As a prankster, she rather enjoyed these kinds of tricks, it was simply her nature. One can only read books for a few thousand years before becoming bored with them. “I suppose Fluttershy has attempted to teach my sister to speak softly once again.” She mused aloud, looking away from her telescope as she grabbed a slice of cake, her one guilty pleasure. “Oh my sister, such an aptitude for pranks but nothing more from our time.”
“What are you speaking of, dear sister? We are standing right here next to you.” Chunks of half-chewed cake spattered against the ground as Celestia spun around, looking up and down her sister’s midnight-blue body.
“Wait, I thought you were down there with Fluttershy!” Celestia poked her sister’s leg hesitantly, absolute horror passing through her as the feeling of warmth indeed confirmed that her sister was in front of her. “Then that mean that it was… Fluttershy who made that noise?”
The Princess of the Night couldn’t suppress a grin as she conjured up her own magical lens. “Indeed, sister. Shall we observe these events?”
Her sister’s mischievous grin was contagious, and Celestia soon found herself smiling. “Yes, let’s.”
I suppose you think that this is the end, right? That it was “trollestia” the entire time? Well, you are wrong, because this is not the ending. For you see, it was not either of the Royal Sisters that sent the sealed letter, because there is another pony in Ponyville with access to the Royal Seal, which she uses to bind all of her letters to Celestia.
The pony I speak of was now currently lurking in her library, stifling her laughter as another loud wave of sound rattled her windows. “Oh, that is so funny! This book really helps when trying to prank ponies!” She opened the book, which had the words Prankez de Poni: Sixteenth Centuri Editione stamped across its cover. The purple unicorn, known by many as the Element of Magic, lifted a small glass jar full of blue powder that glittered in the lavender glow of magic. She smiled as she cast a spell over her body, shivering lightly as the oozing tendrils of cold flowed down her back. She spread her disguises wings and stretched, relishing in the feeling of having wings, even though she couldn't actually fly with them. The Twilight-turned-Celestia smiled mischievously, a manic glint in her eye. “Now… who else can I give this powdered Poison Joke to... and who can deliver it for me this time...?"
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Oh come now, don’t look at me that way! I am merely the teller of this tale, not the writ—oh wait… I am indeed the writer. Well… um… you all had a good laugh… right? Um, can we please put down the books and rocks and other miscellaneous objects that you all are preparing to throw at me?
All right then, so we find ourselves at the end of this story, right on the precipice of another’s start. Shame really, but I ran out of water… so that story will have to wait until a later time. Thank you for listening to the tales of a storyteller.
Author's Note: So yeah... that was this. Interesting, no? Well.... I hope you all enjoyed it! It was a new(ish) style of writing for me. Feedback is always nice by the way! Feel free to comment in the comments section!