• Member Since 30th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen March 27th

Silver Moon


I'm nobody! Who are you? Are you nobody, too? -Emily Dickinson

E

A Flutterdash Story. The ending is sad, you have been warned.

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy have admitted their feelings for each other, although they have told no pony. Dash finds a house in the Everfree Forest for just the two of them, and the two of them are happy. But when Dash choses the Wonder Bolts over Fluttershy, tragedy strikes. That one choice may just change both of their lives, forever.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 45 )

Notes:
This is my first Fimfic, as well as my first romantic story.
I would really appreciate it if I was given constructive criticism. So, tell me what you think.

1212188 i really liked the setting under the stars in the forest but it was i little rushed and lacked descriptive details if you can improve on these it'll make it a better fic tracking

also in this chapter you could have described the house better and nice cliff hanger

Good story so far cant wait to read the rest keep up the good job!

1218303
Thanks for the tips. It was rushed because I have no patients, so I have tried to fix that. I also tried to add more details in Chapter 3.

YAY! :yay:
Chapter 3! This is a sad one. :fluttercry: You have been warned. Please feel free to point out any mistakes I have made.

its incomplete>>1279039 maybe chapter 3 could be where twilight has rianbow go back in time to prevent her death

1279713
I know it is incomplete. I still have chapter 4 and an epilogue.
However, there will be no time travel.
:fluttercry: :applecry: :raritydespair: :raritycry: :unsuresweetie:
I did warn that the ending is sad.

really sad but good story and its well damn writen good job and keep it up!

hmmm... okay... Well that all passed quickly. And it was nicely done too. Cute till she died. Then :facehoof:
now dashie might as well go too...

:yay::heart::rainbowdetermined2: FTW!

YAY! A new chapter!
Sorry it took so long.
Anyway, this story is almost over. This was the last chapter, all that is left is a 500ish word epilogue, which I will be posting sometime this week.

That's it. Tell me what you think. Like it? Leave a comment.
Hate it? First of all, you make Fluttershy cry:fluttercry:. Second, leave a comment and tell me why.

I'm always looking for ways to improve as a writer, so all criticism is appreciated.

Very nice! I'm impressed with almost everything about this! :pinkiesmile: The only thing that really stood out to me was the fact that RD referenced the Mare-Do-Well incident as the reason for her disillusionment with the rest of the Mane6. My impression was that it wasn't the seed of a conflict that would come to fruition later, so I do take issue with that. Also, the story seems a little more than 'unfinished.' I'll only offer this critique in that regard: the Epilogue had better be real good, to make this not feel like it has no emotional closure. Good job! :yay:

1772577 Thanks for the comment. The epilogue may not be real good, but I like it. It takes place in the future and that is all I'm going to say to avoid spoiling anything. I actually finished it before chapter 4, I just feel like I should wait a few days before I post it.

Once again, thanks for the feedback and I hope you enjoy the ending!

1772684 very sad you killed fluttershy and mind fucked rainbow dash

1773764 YAY! MURDER AND MIND-FUCKING!
All one needs to have a good day. :pinkiecrazy:

1773844 about the epilogue will it be days after or years later?

1773861 Years. Many, many, many years. That's all I'm going to say. You will just have to wait to find out what happens.

I'm glad to see that you got back to writing! Reading this chapter was such a pleasure. Woke up some stronger emotions for the first time in weeks to be honest!

Now you got me waiting for the epilogue...

Good story, but it needs spacing when there is dialogue :raritywink::twilightsmile:

Sad so is Rainbow still alive or is her body inside the house

1793685
Most likely a symbolic gesture. Any remains of dash would probably be long gone.:fluttershysad:

Read the whole thing. It was... interesting to see how Rainbow Dash lost her spirit more and more at the end. Don't read too many sad stories like this one.:applecry:

I cried myself to sleep. First: :raritydespair: Second: :raritycry:

Clearly something is SEVERELY wrong with me.

2979414I shed not one tear during this. It definitely pulled at my heartstrings but this, like most others, didn't really communicate with me. The onlystory to date that has made me cry is the story "My Little Dashie"

2981402 Trust me, I am worse. "My Little Dashie" didn't even manage to make me cry. Not one single tear.
Yet I flee at the first mention of cancer.
Everyone reacts differently to sad stories. I am pleased that I write well enough to make people feel for the characters in my stories.

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

2981423No problem at all, and I more or less kind of lied. I have cried from stories being incredibly funny. but alomost never sad stories.

1. Try to not cry
2. Turn around
3. Cry a lot:fluttercry:

This story make me cry more tan my little dashie. Seriously it's to sad but to good a the time. THIS IS AWESOME!!!

The feels this story gave me... I love it!! IT SO SAD!! :raritydespair::applecry::fluttercry::fluttershbad:

My reaction to the death of Flutters

(Yes i wanted to kill someone after this story)Many tears were shedded. Also did Dashie commited suicide or not?I NEED TO KNOW!!!

I AM CRYING MY EYES OUT OMG! I SERIOUSLY CRIED! FLUTTERS! FLUTTERS! WAKE UP I DEMAND YOU TO WAKE UP NOW! :raritycry:
Try not to cry
Cries a lot :fluttercry:

I AM CRYING. A LOT. VERY VERY SAD. TOO SAD
I LOVE IT. *Thumbs up with no hesitation :raritydespair:

I cant takeit its so sad whyyyyyyy y here y not some one else y

Myy tears fell like a waterfall and i cried myself to sleep because it was so sad

This literally made me cry...

MLA

Help, I couldn't breath!!! This so sad ending, I can't breath properly when I read something sad like this, man... Rainbow Dash that not your fault, you tried your best to saving Faluttershy. Time only matters

What happened to Rainbow Dash? Please don't tell me she shut herself away until she died.

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