Flutterdash: Never Leave Me

by Silver Moon

Chapter 4: Never Again

Only 5 ponies came to the funeral. The yellow Pegasus had been too shy to make any friends other than Twilight, Pinkie, AJ, Rarity and, of course, Rainbow. Despite the fact that so few ponies came, the clearing in which the reception was held was packed. There was hardly room to move, one had to carefully pick their way among the hundreds little critters that had come. Every creature that she had ever helped or taken care of had come to Fluttershy’s funeral. Squirrels stood solemnly on the branches on the trees surrounding the clearing. Birds flew gracefully overhead, filling the sky with their sorrowful song as the little rodents scurried around underhoof.

Yet the beauty and grace of the mourning animals was lost on the rainbow maned Pegasus. She sat with her friends, not crying, not talking, not doing much of anything. She simply sat, her face blank with shock and sadness. She watched, void of emotion, as Twilight walked up to the makeshift platform to speak.

“Welcome, everypony,” the purple unicorn began. At the sound of her pain-filled voice, the animals fell silent. All eyes lay on the unicorn as Twilight let a few tears fall. “Welcome,” she said again, wiping her tears away. “We are gathered here today to remember the wonderful Pegasus, Fluttershy. I think we can all agree our lives are better for having known her. The pain of losing her will affect us all for a long time, yet I’m sure she would want us to live our lives…”

Twilight droned on, tears occasionally slipping down her face. Dash, however, was not paying attention. She sat in a stupor, moving only her eyes to watch her friends walk up to the make-shift stage. She could see Rarity walking up in her funeral gown, replacing Twilight on the stage. Rainbow could see the unicorn’s lips moving, yet the words did not penetrate the ringing in her ears. She did not hear AJ’s humble speech about the time she first met Fluttershy. She did not even hear Pinkie Pie, who only managed to say the dead pony’s name before bursting into Pinkie-tears. Dash did see her pink friend flee the stage, tears falling like the waterfall of hair that was once a poofy mane, but the sobs stopped short just before they reached the blue mare’s ears.

Dash felt her heart skip a beat as some pony nudged her. Turning to her left, she saw Applejack nod towards the stage. All her friends had spoken; it was Dash’s turn now.

Walking up to the platform was the easy part. Turning to face over a hundred tearful faces was what hurt. Looking at the ponies, Dash saw all four of her friends looking at her. They stared, waiting for Dash to speak, waiting for words to leave their friend’s mouth for the first time since Fluttershy’s death.

But they would have to wait a little bit longer.

Without saying a word, without even making a sound, Dash leaped straight up into the sky. Flapping her wings for the first time since her mad dash to the hospital, she flew. Higher than the clouds, she stopped and looked down. She could she her friends craning their necks, trying to keep her in view. Taking a deep breath of air, Dash angled her body towards the ground and flew as fast as she could.

It wasn’t long before she reached the right speed. In no time at all, a great BOOM could be heard all over Ponyville. However, once she achieved the Sonic Rainboom, Dash did not do the usual arc that normally follows. Instead, she did a complicated series of twists and turns. It was a trick she had been working on for over a year, ever since she first admitted her feeling for Fluttershy to herself. Once done, she landed on the ground to look up at her work. Her friends, as well as every breathing thing in the field, had all dropped their jaws. After a few seconds, Twilight regained her composure enough to read what Dash had written in a rainbow.

“’Fluttershy,’” the unicorn breathed the name glowing in the sky. Its beauty was astounding, the 10 cursive letters floating elegantly in the sky. Beneath the letters, Dash had swerved a few times, underlining the name. Under the lines, a heart glowed with the beauty of the rainbow it was made of. The bottom of the heart trailed down to where Rainbow Dash stood, her head bowed in grief.

Tears fell from the eyes of every creature in the field as Dash walked back to her spot in the audience. For several minutes, the only sounds were the animals crying. Once she had regained her self-control, Twilight walked up to the platform again. Wiping away her final tears, she spoke.

“Thank you, Rainbow Dash. That was… that was beautiful. And thanks to every pony, for helping us remember our friend…”

Once again, Rainbow zoned out. Once more she simply sat, emotionless. Her eyes stayed focused on the name in the sky, still glowing softly. The reception ended shortly after. All the critters and birds left the field, leaving the 5 ponies alone. Slowly, as if afraid to disturb the stillness of the air, the mares left, one by one, until only Twilight and Rainbow Dash were left. Looking sideways at her friend, Twilight spoke.

“Dash, are you OK?”

The Pegasus did not respond with words, merely looked at her friend with one eyebrow raised.

“Right, dumb question,” Twilight said, correctly interpreting the look. “I have a better one. Will you be OK?”

Dash sighed. She turned to face her friend and rasped the first words since Fluttershy’s death.

“Twilight, I need to borrow your Hot-air balloon.”

“Oh, OK then. Sure, meet me at the library tomorrow,” Twilight said. She was startled by the sudden change of topic, but eager to help her friend.

“No, I need it today. Right now, if I can. Please?” Rainbow looked at the unicorn, her eyes brimming with tears. She sighed and answered the unasked question. “I need it to move. Fluttershy asked me to take care of her animals and I can’t do that from my cloud. I’m moving into her cottage.”

“Can’t you just fly your stuff over yourself?”

“Naw, too many trophies,” Rainbow said with a not-so-modest grin that was only somewhat fake. “Besides, there is something else I need it for,” she murmured, lowering her eyes.

“Really?” asked the unicorn, intrigued. “What?”

“Oh, um, nothing. Forget I said anything,” Dash stammered quickly. “I just, yeah. Never mind.” She fell silent, scuffing the ground with a hoof.

“Ok then. Come on, we can go to the library now.”

“Sure,” the Pegasus replied. Without another word, the two mares walked off.

*************************************************************************************

Twilight sighed. Although she had insisted to help Dash move, the Pegasus had refused. Insisting she just needed to be alone, Rainbow had allowed Twilight to show her how to fly the Hot-air balloon, then had flown off, alone. Twilight sighed again. She could still see her balloon floating in the sky. Shaking her head sadly, Twilight turned and walked back into the library. Spike looked up from the pile of books he was dusting as the unicorn shut the door behind her.

“Hey Twilight,” the little dragon said as he straightened up. “I thought you were going to help Rainbow Dash move?”

“She said she wants to be alone,” Twilight replied. “But I’m not sure if that is a good idea. I read somewhere that a pony should never be alone after an emotional ordeal.”

“Don’t worry too much about her, Twi,” Spike said softly. “Dash is one tough Pegasus, the toughest I know. I’m sure she will be fine.”

“You’re probably right,” Twilight agreed with a nod. “Still…” The unicorn trailed off, staring into space. She sat still for several long minutes.

“Twilight?” Spike asked, breaking the silence. He looked at her, worry playing across his face. “Are you OK?”

“Hmm? Yes, I’m… I’m fine,” the unicorn said. She gave her head a sharp shake to clear her thoughts. “I’m just… I’m going to go see if Rarity is OK. She was probably the closest to Fluttershy other than Dash. Goodbye Spike. I’ll be back later.” Without waiting for a reply, the purple mare walked out the door, leaving the baby dragon alone.

*************************************************************************************

A few days have passed since the funeral. No pony had seen Rainbow Dash since Twilight had lent her the balloon, although it was clear she had not left Ponyville, for all the animals Fluttershy had once taken care of were alive and well. Several times, Twilight or one of Rainbow’s three other friends would drop by the cottage, but there was never any answer. One morning, Twilight went to the cottage before the sun came up, planning on staying there all day if that was how long it took to see her friend. As the sun rose, she saw Rainbow walk out of the house. It was odd; Twilight had never seen her athletic friend walk so much. Usually the colourful mare flew every chance she got. The Pegasus walked around to the back of the cottage, not noticing Twilight. Curious, the unicorn followed the other mare. In the backyard, Rainbow was loading something into the Hot-air balloon she had yet to give back to the pony that was watching her. Twilight strained her eyes, but she could not make out what was being put inside the basket. She was so absorbed in trying to figure it out that she did not have a chance to call out to her friend. “Horse apples!” the unicorn muttered, watching the balloon fly off over the Everfree Forest. “I wonder where she’s going?” She asked herself. “Oh well, too late now. I might as well go wait inside until she returns.” Turing around, Twilight walked into the unlocked cottage. With a hearty sigh, the unicorn sat down. “You know what Twilight?” she said to herself. “You have got to stop talking to yourself.” Several of the animals in the room nodded in agreement.

*************************************************************************************

“Twilight?!” A shocked voice broke into the sleeping unicorn’s dream. “What are you doing here?”

Twilight looked up to see an angry Rainbow Dash standing at the door. “Oh, hello Rainbow,” She stammered. “I just… stopped by to see how you are.” The purple mare stood up quickly, casting a small glance out the window. The sun was about to set. Twilight had gotten tired waiting for her friend to return and fallen asleep on the couch. She blinked hard, trying to wake herself up as the Pegasus started to speak.

“I’m fine. OK? Just. Fine,” Dash said. She stood with her wings clamped firmly to her sides. She spoke harshly, clearly mad.

“Fine? Really?” Twilight interrogated her friend. “Because you do not look ‘fine.’ You look terrible. And you have been avoiding your friends. This is not healthy. This-“

“I have not been avoiding you guys. I’ve been busy,” Dash snapped, cutting across the unicorn. “And I don’t really care if this is ‘healthy’ or not. I. Just. Don’t. Care,” Rainbow said, her voice and face cold as ice. Only her eyes betrayed the pain she felt.

“You should care!” Twilight cried. “You need to care!”

“Why?!” Dash demanded. “Give me one good reason! Just one!”

“How about your friends?!” Twilight burst out. Fear filled her. Her friend looked like she was going insane. “How about your family? What about the animals that FLUTTERSHY asked you to care for? The weather patrol? Scootaloo? What would she do without her idol?” Twilight paused to catch her breath. She had more to say, but once more she did not get to finish.

“Friends?” Dash cried, tears falling from her face to the floor. “What friends do I have? I know you all hate me, you think I’m too stuck-up! You all think I’m a jerk! I knew it since you all dressed up like Mare-do-well! You did that to show me I’m not needed! That you hate me!”

“Dash, no,” Twilight tried to interrupt, but the Pegasus was on a roll.

“Family? I. Have. None. I was abandoned as a foal. I had to grow up on the streets, alone.” Fury flashed in her eyes as Dash started to pace. She paced on the ground, not in the air. “I have no family, Twi! The only pony I have ever loved in my entire life is dead! No family.

“The animals? Seriously? That you choose as a reason?! Some pony else can care for them! Spike can! I’ll bet even Derpy can do it! Nice try, but not good enough.

“I’m only one pony of many on the weather patrol. Sure, I’m the fastest and the best, but they can, have and will do it without me. I’m not needed. Scoots? She can find some other pony to fawn over. I’m not good enough for her!” Dash fell to her knees, allowing the sadness to wash over her. “Such a young filly needs a hero to look up to, Twi! I’m no hero. I’m not fast enough! I’m-”

“Now stop right there!” Twilight shouted, stomping a hoof. “Stop it, right now! You are one of the fastest fliers in all of Equestria! You are a hero! Remember when we stopped Discord? And Nightmare Moon! And Queen Chrysalis! We all needed you! So do not say you are no hero!” Twilight finished with a flourish.

“Maybe so,” Rainbow snapped back, standing up and pacing again. “But I was not fast enough when it counted. I wasn’t fast enough to save her… I wasn’t…” Dash broke off, dissolving into tears.

“Dash, what… what do you mean? Who could you not save?” Twilight asked, although she felt she already knew the name her friend would say.

“Flu- Flutters!” Dash screamed through the tears. “FLUTTERSHY!! The one pony I ever loved in my whole life and I KILLED HER!!! I killed her I killed her I killedherIkilledherIkilledherIKILLEDHER!!” Dash let out a hysterical laugh.

“Dash, breathe! Just… Just calm down OK?” Twilight took a timid step towards her friend. She had never been very good at things like this. “Just calm down OK? I’m sure this is not your fault.”

“IT IS!! IT IS MY FAULT!! I was too slow! I should have been faster!!”

“What are you talking about?!?”

“The day she died, I should have gotten her to the hospital faster, sooner! I went back to the doctor, after they removed her from the room. I talked to the doctor. He said… He told me that if Fluttershy had gotten to the hospital sooner, he might have been able to save her! I was too slow! It is all my fault!!!” Once more, the brave Pegasus fell to the ground, crying too hard to stand. She curled up and rocked back and forth, allowing the sadness to take hold.

“Dash?” Twilight asked tenderly, moving closer to her fallen friend. When there was no response, Twilight decided that the time to be gentle was past. “DASH! STOP IT!” she shouted. Her friend stopped rocking and looked up, tears still slipping down her face. The unicorn took a deep breath and started again. “This. Is. Not. Your. Fault. NO, do NOT interrupt me! LISTEN! Judging by what you told me, if you had flown any faster the G-forces might have killed Fluttershy. In her weakened state, it was only safe to move so fast. You did what you could. You did everything you could have done. I’m sorry, I really am. But you have to let this go. You cannot keep hiding from your friends. We need you,” the unicorn finished. Her friend, however, still looked unconvinced. Twilight still had one last card to play, though. “What about your life dream, Dash? What about joining the Wonder-”

“Stop talking,” Dash said softly. Tears stopped falling as the Pegasus stood up. When she spoke, her voice was a soft as Fluttershy’s had once been, yet it was filled with a cold venom that shut Twilight up instantly. “Do not finish that name. Do not speak of them around me. Ever.”

“What?!”

“Don’t say that name,” Rainbow said simply. She might have been commenting on a passing snail for all the emotion in her voice.

“But- but Rainbow,” Twilight stammered, confused. This was supposed to be the winning card, the one thing that would snap the Pegasus out of whatever slump she was in. This was supposed to save her, not strip away the last scrap of sanity Rainbow seemed to have left. “What about- but it was… your dream. How can you just give up on your dream?”

“Like this,” the blue mare said with the same simplicity as before. “I turn and just walk away.”

Twilight stared after her friend in shock. At the last moment, she found her voice. “Why?” she choked out. “Can you just tell me why?”

Rainbow Dash turned. “Why, you ask? Think, Twilight, think! If I never had tickets to their show, I would have been there with Flutters! I would have known she was too close to the fire! I would of- I could of-” Rainbow broke off, tears fighting to break free once more, but she shook them away; the time for tears was past. "It is their fault as much as it is mine. I will never see another of their shows again. I will never fly with my own wings again. I have one more thing to finish in the Forest with your Hot-air Balloon, then I will never fly again. I mean it, Twi. Never again.” Rainbow stared at the unicorn, her eyes showed her determination to go through with her plan, but they also betrayed the pain in her heart. “I’m sorry, but this is how it has to be. I’ll see you later, Twilight. Goodnight.”

“’Night,” Twilight whispered to the empty room a solid minute after the Pegasus has walked up the stairs to the bedroom. Head down, Twilight turned and began the walk back to her house, leaving her friend alone.

Comments

[Silver Moon]

YAY! A new chapter!
Sorry it took so long.
Anyway, this story is almost over. This was the last chapter, all that is left is a 500ish word epilogue, which I will be posting sometime this week.

That's it. Tell me what you think. Like it? Leave a comment.
Hate it? First of all, you make Fluttershy cry. Second, leave a comment and tell me why.

I'm always looking for ways to improve as a writer, so all criticism is appreciated.

[cynthash]

Very nice! I'm impressed with almost everything about this! The only thing that really stood out to me was the fact that RD referenced the Mare-Do-Well incident as the reason for her disillusionment with the rest of the Mane6. My impression was that it wasn't the seed of a conflict that would come to fruition later, so I do take issue with that. Also, the story seems a little more than 'unfinished.' I'll only offer this critique in that regard: the Epilogue had better be real good, to make this not feel like it has no emotional closure. Good job!

[Silver Moon]

1772577 Thanks for the comment. The epilogue may not be real good, but I like it. It takes place in the future and that is all I'm going to say to avoid spoiling anything. I actually finished it before chapter 4, I just feel like I should wait a few days before I post it.

Once again, thanks for the feedback and I hope you enjoy the ending!

[fabianguzman18]

1772684 very sad you killed fluttershy and mind fucked rainbow dash

[Silver Moon]

1773764 YAY! MURDER AND MIND-FUCKING!
All one needs to have a good day.

[fabianguzman18]

1773844 about the epilogue will it be days after or years later?

[Silver Moon]

1773861 Years. Many, many, many years. That's all I'm going to say. You will just have to wait to find out what happens.

[Writer12577]

I'm glad to see that you got back to writing! Reading this chapter was such a pleasure. Woke up some stronger emotions for the first time in weeks to be honest!

Now you got me waiting for the epilogue...