Broken Dreams Fixed by Love (Flutterdash)

Rainbow Dash's world is quickly crumbling around her. She was not accepted into the prestigious Wonderbolts team, and swears to become the best. Fluttershy helps her recover as best as she can, and develops feelings for her as well.

(This is my first fanfic. I do not mind constructive criticism.)

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 13 )

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NintendoGal55

NintendoGal55 #1 · Mar 5th, 2013 · · ·

Certainly looks to be interesting so far! The setup is fairly solid, the premise is promising, and it's off to an intriguing start. To be constructive, it might be a little bit rushed and could use a little more detail, and there were a couple of punctuation bits. But otherwise, it's a good start! I look forward to what will come next.

Flutterdash is my life

Flutterdash is my life #2 · Mar 5th, 2013 · · ·

I like it! Though in all honesty I'm not one of those critics.

raha

raha #3 · Mar 6th, 2013 · · ·

2215737 Thanks! I really like your stories. You are one of my go-to flutterdash authors. Getting a comment from you makes me really happy!

raha

raha #4 · Mar 6th, 2013 · · ·

2216926 Thank you. I understand, sometimes I don't care for correcting things if the story is good in general.

NintendoGal55

NintendoGal55 #5 · Mar 6th, 2013 · · ·

2220336 Aww, you're too kind! Thanks!

But of course, all that to say, good luck with this!

Flutterdash is my life

Flutterdash is my life #6 · Mar 6th, 2013 · · ·

2220351Exactly, but if there's a huge (and I mean HUGE) number of errors (tense changes at random times, spelling errors, etc.) I'll see what major things are there and try to point them out.

super3rainbow1

super3rainbow1 #7 · Mar 6th, 2013 · · ·

An interesting start. The only errors here are small ones that can be quickly fixed. If you have any version of a word processor, you should ultilize it to find some of the errors.

I'm interested in seeing what's going to happen at Rainbow Dash's house. I can't help but predict that Fluttershy isn't going to act like her usual self around her.

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