Two years ago, Rainbow Dash stole Lightning Dust's dream from her. While the Element Bearer went on to become a Wonderbolt, Lightning Dust faded into obscurity. She worked what jobs she could find, but, bitter and broken, she spent more of her evenings inside the bar than outside of it. For two years, her dreams of becoming a Wonderbolt were just that: dreams, shattered and empty.
Then one night, Rainbow Dash reentered Lightning's life. The conversation that followed would lead Lightning on a second chance to achieve her dreams. But she never could have imagined what else she'd find along the way.
Editing and Prereading provided by Hap and SolidFire
Cover art by 8BitAmy
Honorable Mention in Jake the Army Guy's Horseword Extravaganza
Chapters (5)
Ah that was nice. They make a good ship
This was a good story, no holds barred. I admit, I've always wanted to see what become of Lightning, if she grew up and moved on or is still nursing a grudge. I doubt we'll ever find out, but it's nice to ponder over at times.
The name of this fic alone is brilliant and inspired, safe to say I'll be reading it soon.
AAIQU
I've always had a soft spot for Lightning Dust, and stories popping up promising a redemption (and romance!) always catch my eye.
I'm happy I clicked on this one in particular, though. It was sweet, playful with the romance and interactions between Rainbow and Lightning, and, most importantly, fun. Part of me kind of wants the fight in the first chapter to have been longer, but at the same time I quite liked how, despite everything, Lightning still held Rainbow in high regard as her equal. That respect didn't really disappear, and it played out nicely over the story.
A shorter story, but wonderfully told. Rainbow and Lightning were delightful to read. I specifically liked some of the little details, like Rainbow being small enough that she had to lean up to kiss Lightning towards the end. I'm also a fan of this pair together the way you portrayed them, and want to see more in the future.
A very nice read before turning in for bed near the end of the week. Thank you for writing it.
I would have upvoted this merely for that amazingly awful pun of a title. Good thing the fic was a nice read too.
Always awesome to see more Lightning Dust / best pony
And holy shit man this is beautiful, nice damn work
Popping down before even opening the first page to praise the title. It's punny, yet poignant.
What a way to start my week off, a really good ship fic. (well at lest it seems good so far)
Or her lack of one. I really loved that story!
Dashes to Dashes, Dust to Dust
If these two were anthro, they'd both have big butts.
A whole five minutes? Someone's going to spend a shift in the boiler room.
Dashes to Dashes, Dust to Dusty
We know Lightning Dust is rusty
Strung out in Manehatten's high,
Hitting an all time low
BWOOOOOM
Got to say, I always liked Lightning Dust even if the episode did a poor job of the mare. Rainbow Dash 2.0 really needs more love. I will read this and get back to you in 45 minutes as that will be how long it takes to read it.
And now that I read it, it was just as great as it looked. Dash parings and pegasi parings in general are a soft spot of mine. Most of my favorites are pegasi after all and I am very fond of Dash ships, gay or otherwise. This was cute, sweet and wonderful. I just wish it was a little longer but I guess this works too! This was a great story
So far, this is very well written. You have, so far, created two original characters that have very unique personalities, and I can easily imagine them based on how you have described them and written their dialogue. I also really enjoyed how you took a mature route with this story in terms of curse words and blatant alcoholism because I feel it adds a different depth than what the show could ever provide.
I think that there could have been a little more playing hard to get by Lightning Dust, but I am also a fan of really good turnouts and fluffy shipping.
Of course, there is no telling what the next few chapters have in store, so maybe I should speak so soon.
Loving the banter between these two. It feels very natural, and it makes me hope for a Lightning Dust episode in the future. They cannot leave her character in the state that it's in. 'Tis a travesty!
I enjoyed this quite a lot. The shipping was nice, and the Lightning Dust rehabilitation by Dash finding her and helping her pick herself back up was great.
Great story! I was pleasantly surprised by it. I like how you handled Lightning Dust, and it flows really well. I featured it on episode 186 of my podcast, Pony 411!
That. Title.
I can sort of see that you just HAD to use it once the thought entered your mind, but come on that's awful! Nice story though, even though the end felt a little sudden.
8265372 Your comment and avatar go amazingly well together =D
This was a nice read! The romance didn't feel forced or too sudden. Their relationship felt in character, as in not too sappy, but still loving. Nicely done, thank you for writing it!
8271611
Indeed. I've noticed a lot more sympathetic Lightning Dust fics appearing in recent months. Hasbro: LD is gaining popularity. Time for her to get the Gilda Treatment. Where's that Equestrian Second Chance Effect
Though, technically, in canon we only see lose her leadpony badge. I don't recall her being explicitly kicked out? Surely that second chance can be a thing...
Rainbow Dash does have a tendency to leave debtis in her wake. Good to see her take the time help a chunk out when she comes back across it.
This was solid feel-good storytelling with excellently organic and emergent romance. Great work overall. Thank you for it, and best of luck in the judging.
How nice. I'm happy to see the change that LD has undergone. She is finally realizing that there are good things in life that just require a little patience, good will, hard work, and some loyalty.
I just have been feeling iffy about the time skips. I know what you are trying to accomplish, but I guess i just really don't like it as much. The whole scene with Rainbow commenting on Lightning's add felt awkward as he'll, and not because of the subject matter per se. It's the fact that you can't really see it coming, and it lessens the significance of the conversation because that is the first step towards their coupling. This is the first kind of romantic and flirtatious chapter, so as I said, it lacks lead up. It only makes sense because we have come into this story already knowing it was a shipping story
You know, up until this point, I was okay with how well this was developing, but now I'm just sad. This feels beyond shoehorned, my friend, and I'm really not even blaming you as the cause. I think you had too great of an idea for the word constraints you had with the contest, and this story suffers from it.
A good argument can be made that the two are fast ponies, living on the edge of their seats, so even romance is impulse and spontaneous. However, I just don't like how this turned out.
In the scope of the contest, you achieved the goal, and it's very much able to hold it's own within this contest, but I almost wish you had made this longer and really focus on the relationship building throughout the seasons instead of showing it after months of interaction.
There is still one chapter left, so let's finish this story up.
Not a bad conclusion to the tale. I hope that this does well in the competition because iI enjoyed it immensely. Subtlety is an art form, and you made a masterpiece of it.
Awesome story.
LD, don’t you have a bridge to stay under you troll?
First off, I want to say how fundamentally mature this fic is. There's no wasting time on Lightning Dust angsting out or Rainbow Dash being torn up or the two getting into a spat or fight over the events of Wonderbolt Academy. Instead, LD goes off, RD accepts what happened and makes LD an offer, and LD accepts. The path this fic could have taken would have choked off a lot of oxygen, so it's good that it moves past that quickly.
For the rest of the fic, I much enjoyed the first three and a half chapters, as it was easy to see Lightning Dust and Rainbow Dash reconcile, bond, and play off one another. Dust is the type of pony that Dash needs to be able to compare herself to and egg herself on to be even better at what she does. Their friendship moments are great in these chapters. I can tell their platonic friendship is building into something more after that, but I feel the end of chapter 4 suddenly rushes things fast-forward in order to meet a deadline. In-verse, they've spent the better part of four seasons together, but for us as readers, there's truly not that much word cout to really make that notion click for us, so it feels rushed hard.
I‘ve been reading this story a lot lately, kinda makes up for the incredible disappointing Lighting Dust episode this season.
I'm gonna give this one a thumbs up because I genuinely enjoyed reading it and there are some things you did great, but I can't really favorite this one.
Your writing, grammatically and structurally, is amazing in every level of detail and emotion. I can perfectly see every scene before me. You also did dialogue incredibly well, and your depiction of Lightning is not only believable, but pretty much spot on: close enough to canon to be instantly recognizable, yet I can believe her changing her personality over time. And the romance, as it is, progresses fairly well.
That being said, there are a few problems I have with this story. Probably the biggest issue is the length of the story: it feels...compressed is the best word I can come up with. There's not much substance to the story, and it's lacking a real conflict, rising tension, or climax. That's not a bad thing per se, but it does make the story kind of dull.
Also, the initial conflict between Lightning and Rainbow was resolved awful fast, I feel. Lightning seemed to quick to let go of her resentment and Rainbow too quick to forgive her. Plus, why is Rainbow apologizing? She did very little wrong, if anything in that ep, and apologizing to Lightning is honestly the wrong course of action here, since it affirms what she did instead of making it clear that it was wrong. I think if this story was longer (like, twice as long) to more properly develop the plot, it'd go into great instead of merely good territory.
Still, it was an enjoyable read and a well-executed concept. Good job!
Hmm, well as a fan of the more....out there ships (read; Sunset x Gilda(lacking good ship name that hasn't been stolen), Sparkling Storm(Tempest x non-Alicorn Twilight), and others like that.), i can say that this story has caught my eye. Good work so far.
I await a complete description of the test.