• Member Since 22nd Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen February 13th

Firefinder


T

An Earth ship is thrown to another galaxy by an Ancient device. There it picks ups a distress call from another vessel under attack. The Tau'ri ship, the Firestorm an Ancient Hunter-Killer from the Pegasus Galaxy, moves to investigate. Once there the commander is shocked to what he finds. A frigate name the Ponyville.

Takes place a year after Stargate Universe and one thousand years after the end of Friendship is Magic.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 144 )

I'm intrigued. Caught me with that Daedalus picture.

Gonna have to explain that thousand years though, unless I missed something.

I will withold my judgment until your next chapter.

Some mistakes and awkwardly written sentences but within my tolerances.

Also what first post said

1213090 yeah I need a prereader. This is my first story but I'm working on it.1212895 And that thousand years that is going to be a surprise. Hint: the only alicorns are the princesses and Nyx think about that.

1213186
You actually referenced Past Sins? Okay. And I'm gonna guess stasis or something.

1213197
Its something. And why don't the what-call-thems work on your phones.

FIRE ZE MISSLES!

-NopeChuckTesta :trixieshiftright:

You caught my eye with the picture, and the fact that you actually used the word Tau'ri. I'll read this later, but if done right, this could be good.

Oh, and it's going on my Faves list. If it goes to my read later, I'm essentially giving it a death sentence there. There are over 100+ stories stacked up.

USS Deadelus always comes to save the day, she's the most powerful ship in the fleet of the humans, I wonder if the Wraith will make an appearance, hopefully the replicators don't, they always seem to fuck things up badly with first contact. Oo-oo! what if the Deadelus is in the same system and sees the weapons fire and comes to the rescue? I am starting to sound a lot like pinkie now :pinkiehappy:

EDIT: I always have a bad nerdgasm whenever you mix SGA and MLP together

1214905
It has both SGA and SG-1 in it, but not until Chapter 3 but they be there and yes to wraith and one word Asuran. And maybe standerd replicators no stargate fic is good with out them.

1214979 hmm, isn't this battle of ponies versus the instectoids is like the humans versus Ori right?

1215025
Try human vs. wraith.

1215083 the Wraith are technologically inferior to the Humans, Wraith have no shields and their power generators are inefficient, Humans are essentially just holding back on killing the Wraith outright

1215148
True but five Deadelus class ships (all we built is six but one was destory by the Ori) vs forty plus hives not counting who knows how many cruisers equal a massacre for both side with with the south pole weapons platform and Atlantis throwning their weight.

Looks good, will read.
A few notes, try to avoid things like:

I am sure we may find some friendly aliens sometime. Remember before the war started the exploration teams did find outposts on several planets with ring like devices that was made out an unknown material that are virtually immured to all harm. Something had to made those things

The underlined part isn't needed and sounds awkward, who talks like that?
Also things like:

At a length of four hundred meters she could easily handle the three hundred meter long destroyers with one of her two main magik cannons that focus the energy into a tight beam of concussive force

Here there is enough information to raise a lot of questions, but not enough to answer any of them.
Like: Why are they magic cannons? Are we talking arcane/classic magic or magi-tech? Why does it need to be said that they focus the energy into a tight beam, how else would it work? Why do I need to know right now that it's concussive force as opposed to thermal or photonic?(btw, concussive force doesn't really mean much in space where there is no atmosphere for the concussion to propagate through.)

lastly (for the things that bugged me the most) please please please don't say things like energy torpedoes, there is no such thing as pure energy so if something has to be called an energy-something, please pick a reasonable type of energy, even arcane-energy.

1238523
Thanks for the help some of the tech just as the magik cannons and energy torpedoes are going to be explain later and that one sentence I was trying to describe the Stargate, one of them was thrown into a star and survive. I need a prereader mind being one?

1242742

I could try, I've never done that before.
FYI I'm starting school in a few weeks so I don't know if I'll still have time then.

SG-1 in Equestria would kick ass.

Well talk about everyone being there, but what happened To Cadance?

And Twilight being Nyx's student ... hmmm :trixieshiftleft:

Lastly, Epona? By any chance is this an "End of Ponies" shoutout I see here?:rainbowhuh:

I'll be waiting for the next few chapters as well, this story piqued my curiosity.

"'As Fluttershy would say, Yay.'"

...and any interest I had in this story died with this line.

Wait a second, if this is supposed to take place a thousand years after FiM, why is Twilight still alive?

So, does Trixie ever shut up!? Complaining about the Senris is all well and good, but on the bridge!? Doesn't do good for crew morale.

All the crew introductions are cheezy and contrived. As well as the mention of the Stargates.

Not bad though.

1246977 You can write most of you critcisms as inexperaince in writing and as for Twilight, hell most of the cast for want of a better term, who said that they are the same characters as in the show, and on that note I believe that each cutie mark is unique, but that will came into play later. I will try and explain it in the next chapter.

1247877

Each cutie mark is unique? So...what about Doctor Whooves and Colgate?

So you're new to writing huh? Well keep at it. The only way to get better is to fucking write. It works for me.

1250022 They are the exceptent that proves the rule:facehoof:. Thanks for the support, here's a stash :moustache:

1214979
Weren't all the Replicators killed? It's been a few months since I watched SGA, and I know the SG-1 ones are dead. Unless somebody made more. Or are you going Alternate Universe with the Stargate side of things? I mean, it's been proven in SG-1 for the franchise.

And you need an proper editor for the grammar. I can easily do the job for the most part, as long as you have a way to get the story to me.

Okay, you might want to go back and fix those few things I told you to remove. Other than that, looks like you used the fixes. Actually, you want me to just remove stuff on the shared file?

~Lexicon, Editor for The Sixth Race

1267331
Yes and some might be from the move from docs to here. Thanks for the help.

1267357

Not a problem. I enjoy this story, and being able to help out makes me feel a bit excited that I can make a story a little better.

Here is the second chapter of the Sixth race. Edit by Lexicon. This chapter was going to be longer and explain the thousand year gape. That question WILL be explain or at least make more sense next chapter. But I hit a block, so I decide to give you this. Any mistakes are my fault cause I had to rewrite all the stuff in Italics, and sorry Lexicion for the lak of the heads up about the posting.

As he studied it, it reminded him of the Mass Effect Relays from the game Mass Effect.

Erg... not the best way to try and describe it. Sure, it's easier to do it this way, but I'd prefer an actual description :pinkiehappy:

What 1267473 said.

You still haven't sold me yet on this but it looks promising, so at the same time I'm not giving up on it either.

Not much has happened yet but it seems to be getting there.:pinkiehappy::derpyderp2:

Holy crap this sounded awesome. Needs some minor editing though.

so... a Mass relay is actually an ancient stargate? SO COOL

Honestly, a Railgun that shoots a slug at Mach2 is fairly slow. Missiles go faster than Mach2 normally. Need to up that # a bit.

Remember, most rifles shoot bullets at speeds in excess of Mach1. Railguns are supposed to be at Hyper Mach speeds, Mach 6-10 or more probably, especially considering space combat, though lord knows the capital ships engage at near point-blank ranges...

Okay, I have a few problems with this. First off, the Prometheus was destroyed. We saw it fucking explode, it's gone. It sucks, but get over it, move on!

A Nuclear Rail Gun? I'm pretty sure railguns don't work that way, but it's science fiction, so I don't really care. But Mach 2? Here's the problem, it's a space ship. The term 'Mach' refers to the speed of sound, which is a moot point in a vaccuum. Rating speeds in terms of 'Mach' is meaningless in space.

Finally, the terms "Asurans" and "Tau'ri." "Tau'ri" is the Goa'uld name for the people of Earth. But it was never used by the people of Earth. So I don't think they would suddenly start using that term now. And "Asurans" was never used on the show, they were always called Replicators, or Pegasus Galaxy Replicators. Also, they were wiped out, both groups.

Gotta work on your continuity man.

Though I love the world building. Dropping it all like a ton of bricks isn't the worst way to do it, but I would have weaved it into the narrative as necessary.

Comparing the Firestorm to the Destiny, not sure it works. First off, I doubt he ever saw the Destiny, and why would the Ancients suddenly decide to bring back a several-million-year-old refuelling technology?

I can't wait to see where this goes.

1274704
Your have several good points. So here is my explantions. First off, the word Tau'ri, from my research, means the first ones, and the Goa'uld start calling us that because we start to be such a problem, I figure it will be use because of that meaning, and the fact that it means the first ones strokes alot of egos in power. The reason why I call the Pegasus Galaxy Replicators the Asurans is because every fic that has them call them that and this which is my main source of information calls them that. The fact that both the Promethues and the Asurans are still around? Well in the inmotal words of Adam Savage "I reject your reality and substitute my own." 1269718 The rail gun launches a Nuclear Weapon at the target like a catapelt. So it can't shoot in at a to high of speed or the nuke will come apart.

1275069

Yeah, I know the Stargate Wiki called them that, as well as every fan fic, but they're all wrong. They never called them that on the show. The main reason they call them that on the Wiki is to differentiate them from the original Replicators, and because they called their planet 'Asuras.'

Anyone in-universe, would call them the Replicators.

So you decided to resurrect the Prometheus and Niam's Faction. I'm gonna warn you of something that I hope I don't need to warn you of. To go against the show's canon so drastically, there had better be a payoff. A reason, within the plot, to do this. Otherwise, it's just pure fanwank, and that's never good.

1275456
Actually, it's more of working within the canon. Remember the mirror? And the black hole incident that sent all the other SG-1 teams to the same reality? It's called an alternate reality, which was shown to exist within the show. It's easily plausible. It easily explains the Prometheus, and a reason that the humans might refer to themselves as the Tau'ri (other than the fact that a number of others in our galaxy know Earth humans at that.), as well as the Asurans. It's entirely plausible that they referred to themselves as that when speaking to the humans stationed on Atlantis. Or possibly Weir used the word.

All of this can be done within the canon still, due to two episodes, both involving alternate reality.

I just proved half your argument invalid, using only two episodes.

1277547

Yes, but I think it's safe to assume this story takes place in the prime reality.

Also, why would they have two names for the same race?

You know, even in the prime reality, there is a way to bring back Niam's faction, (though Atlantis would have little motivation to actually go through with it). I just hope there's a reason he included that.

1277588

Yes, but I think it's safe to assume this story takes place in the prime reality.

Ah, but you see, there is an alternate reality tag. The question, however, is whether it's for the ponies (which, considering the time skip, may or may not be needed) or for the Stargate end of things.

1277599

What!? *looks* Oh, fuck the tags. Perhaps we should just ask the original author. But if that is the case, it's extremely cheap and renders the whole story meaningless since it takes place in a universe we don't care about.

Why throw a story into an alternate universe, unless it's necessary to the plot?

Goddamnit. I was denied the contact scene. Get on it, author!

Other than grammar, the story is good. I look forward to seeing where this goes.

1279104
Trust me, chapter 1 is way worse than chapter 2. I'm working as the editor, so if you spot anything I missed, point it out, so I can keep a better eye out.

First, as soon as you get a chance, copy and paste the story over. I tried the google docs import myself once.

Actually, that's it for you, Firefinder.

For those reading this, we finally get some explanation as to the ponies. He kept his word on that. I have my own theory about the end of the chapter, but I'll keep it quiet for now, mostly due to spoilers.

Principem Luna vigilabo super vos.
~ Lexicon, Editor of The Sixth Race

Wow, that's a short chapter I must say.

I don't like Google Docs, it's not a publishing platform. Find a real platform, like WordPress.

* scrathes head*

So I tried the link and it says I still need to get permission. :trixieshiftleft: In any case I guess I'll just wait for it here.

1318984>>1318999 Try now, and I feel like a moron

1319002
The update with one restricted link was just a wee bit confusing that's all.:twilightsheepish:

Login or register to comment