• Member Since 18th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen August 13th

Shadeslayer


T
Source

438 years ago, ponies discovered the remains of the civilizations that existed before them. This led to a period of increased technological development, spatial expansion, and further discoveries that would forever change ponies as a race. In the present, Celestia's only student has discovered a beacon that recounts the Old Races' war against a nigh unstoppable enemy named the Reapers. Against an enemy with millions of years of experience, the strength to wipe out entire civilizations systematically, and the ability to make organic beings their mind-slaves, it will fall to one mare and her team to protect the galaxy.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 36 )

and so it begins once more:pinkiehappy:

Do Humans exist in this same galaxy? If so then, that comment about "Ponies are the most powerful race in the galaxy" is WRRRROOOOONG!

1798638
I'm pretty sure it said in some description that this is the beacon liara left

1798648 You sayin' that Humanity is dead? I always feel dead inside when I think that Humanity may fall someday. You don't like making people feel bad do you? :fluttershysad: :duck:

So, this is the next cycle?

Brill.

Wait-what? Mass Effect and ponies? AJ Sheppard cover art?

gameranx.com/img/12-Apr/zftnc.jpg

Well written, nice idea about this being the next cycle. Alas poor Shepard, however.

No noticeable SPAG errors, readable, good story.

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:
"One to watch"

I await chapter two with interest.

Here before Nunchucks and Regidar

So Shepard took the refusal option... heh, even if humanity is gone at least it went out with a big upraised middle finger to the Catalyst and the Reapers. I can respect that.

I'm looking forward to seeing what new races have arisen in the interval. Perhaps the Raloi forgot their fears and returned to space? Or the Yahg...

1799345

I'd always expected the Yahg would be wiped out at the same time because, even though they weren't space faring yet, it was stated they were close. So imagine if the Reapers had left them. They'd have been much more powerful than any other race by the time 50,000 years had passed.

1798673

Yeah, I had humanity die for this. Makes me sad that humanity died too, but hey, what can ya do? :twilightblush:

Hey! Look! It's Mass Effect! BUT IT HAS PONIES!
...and holy crap it's a really good spin on it! I don't think anyone's ever thought of this.
I'll be watching this one.

1799008 This story is callibrated for awsome

(Joke) Alt. Title: Mass Effect! MOAR!

Im wondering where Rarity and Fluttershy are?

1800177

Fluttershy will be there very soon. Rarity won't come in for a while, though.

1799847 s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1gnl1sSdr1qacojco1_1280.jpg

Theres a few typos here and there, and some of your sentence structure is a little clunky but it's Mass Effect so I gotta love it. It's an awesome concept and I can't wait to see where this goes! Also military ranks can be shorted e.g. vice admiral can be called admiral, lieutenant commander can me called commander. Much like the varying types of sergeants (staff, tech, master, gunnery, etc...) can all just be called sergeant.

Oh and Docking bay D-24 :rainbowlaugh:

and AJ is best Shepard :ajsmug:

I'm always bothered by the depiction of omni-tools in ME crossovers. Do they have to be on the foreleg? Why not the horn for unicorns, or anywhere else for other races? Anywhere except the foreleg, it's just awkward.

1802701

Going to be honest, didn't think of that. First thing that popped into my mind was the pony equivalent of an arm, so...

I might have to put that in. Seems useful.

1802217

Clunky grammar. Yeah, that figures. :applejackunsure:
I'm still trying to work that part out. Glad you're enjoying the story anyway!

1802996 Glad I could help. It's just been bothering me for quite some time.

i like the original fallout equestria

1825867

Same here, but I just read PH most recently.

And it's also more gory. Goooooorrrrreeee.

so, caramel is gonna be the kaidan of this story? trixie definitely makes for a neat saren.

"He delivered another spray"
That should be "she". Otherwise, flawless!

1826581

Okay, changed. Thanks for that!

When do Rarity and and Fluttershy make an appearance?

1831214

Keeping things vague, Fluttershy will arrive in chapter 3 or 4, depending on how I write events. Rarity will come later. I haven't determined how much later in the grand scheme of things, but definitely not now.

LYRA Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo:pinkiegasp:

Recruit Zecora. Being an ME veteran, I always recruit the specialists before attending to dubious space stations or former bases of the main foe.

You should change the pic I think. AJ's face looks like mashed potato... besides, WHERE'S AJ'S HAT?!?!?!
But this story has potential.

Great, now my next cycle crossover idea will seem derivative and unoriginal. Although you did take this story in a drastically different direction than I would have, so there is still hope for me.

Criticize, you say? Okay, asari shouldn't be capitalized, in the same way that human, pony, krogan, and salarian aren't. Ranks that consist of more than one word (vice admiral, lieutenant commander) are abbreviated in speech (admiral and commander, respectively), something which Shining Armor hit on. There are a couple of asides ("consult the Codex", "For those reading, this is contrast to the clip system implemented in Mass Effect 2", "Those are equivalent to feet, by the way") that detract from the flow of the story and ruin immersion (also, the system you described is the Mass Effect 1 system, and why do so many authors use hooves as a unit of measure? Meters are just more elegant in every way, and don't require a ponification). There is also something off about the prose. I can't quite figure out what. The pacing seems a bit too rushed and informal, I guess, and the dialogue is a bit stiff and forced. You also do a lot of telling instead of showing (like "two weeks passed, once again without anything eventful happening"). It also feels like the story hasn't really started yet. I mean, I know there was an invasion and all that, but they have their weapon. Their mission is over.

However, this has potential, and you mentioned there being a lot of chapters, so something big is bound to happen. Tracking to see where this goes.

1963825

Thank you for this. It's nice for someone to point what I figured would be wrong. Dialogue is apparently not my strong suit, but at least I know why it felt off.

Looks like I need to study more. :ajsleepy:

1963427: This.
And another reason; when the shit hits the fan, you want as many people on your side as you can muster.
Grab Zecora.

Zacora need the zebra ...... also maybe rover and his boyz or the crew some way.

Let me get this straight, basically ponies are the humans in this fic?

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