When a Tyranid hive-feet descends upon the world of Equestria, Terra sends in the Ordo Xenos, and the Ordo Xenos send in the Imperial Guard. Among the regiments are the legendary Tanith First-and-Only, led by Colonel Commisar Ibram Gaunt. It quickly becomes apparent that theirs is a suicide mission. Can Gaunt fight against crippling morale, Canterlot politics, and the Inquisition itself to save a xeno-world? Will Elim Rawne learn the magic of Friendship? Read on to find out!
Note: Gaunt's Ghosts is the property of Dan Abnett; I have no rights to any of the characters taken from it, and this is a work of parody. For the sake of not spoiling the Gaunt's Ghosts series, all characters are treated as alive at the outset of this fic. Given Abnett's talent for killing off beloved characters, this has forced me to limit how many of the ghosts I include; as such, I apologize if a favorite of yours isn't present.
Gaunt??? MOAR.
Please. 
Continue.
As a Tyranid player, I approve of this fic.
However, as I have a personal distaste of anything Pony+Gore, I choose not to read this. Instead I give you my blessing and a thumbs up.
1923674 Thanks ^_^. I tried to keep the gore exceptionally light, but I'm still new enough that I'm not sure how far one can go without putting up the tag, so I put it up to err on the side of caution. Still, I totally get being leery of such things :-p.
Gaunt's Ghosts? You have a LOT to live up to with a title like that. I've put it in Read Later for until later today.
1924372
To be utterly clear: I am not fit to lick Dan Abnett's boots. I picked the Tanith because they are the small slice of 40k lore that I am most intimately familiar with :-p.
Magic of Friendship? In a Warhammer 40k?
...
What are you doing? STAHP. THE ONLY EMOTION THAT CAN PASS IN WARHAMMER SERIES IS FEAR AND BARELY CONTAINED RAGE.
1924956
Read the actual Gaunt's Ghost's series! It doesn't have the magic of friendship, but it has all kinds of emotions beyond fear and rage. Mainly sadness. (Protip: roughly 50% of the named characters in the series have died. There have been about 77 named characters.)
1924966
Erghghb
Fine.
Well it seems alright. So far anyway. Are those character's fictional or are they in one of the games?
1925025
You mean the Ghosts? They're all characters from the Abnett series. It's 13 novels long now :-p. Gaunt used to be a special character in the tabletop last edition, and a fair few of them were special characters a couple editions ago.
Ok Venter, I like where this can be heading but I also fear the crossover. For future reference, I will be reviewing each chapter separately. I am also working on limited Tyranid knowledge so I may be learning stuff along the way with your Fic. Case in point, pardon any dumb Tyranid questions. Ok let's begin.
1st thing. Put a space between paragraphs if you could please and thank you.
2nd (Tyranid). Were those 8ft tall creatures Lictors? Make sense for first contact along with Genestealers but this "zombie pony" thing eludes me. Is that a hive mind thing I'm not read up on? The Burrowing creature seems like a Trygon/Mawloc, interesting lead into the beginning of an infestation. Gargoyles, Termagaunts, Lictors and Hormagaunts are pretty accurate in my words as I found it easily to picture them tearing into the crowd. Gruesome scene. :)
3rd (Imperial). That better be a pretty damn small splinter fleet or kiss your pony ass good bye. Unless the God Emperor has his holy Astartes aboard any of those vessels you are going to have major trouble. I have full faith in the Hammer of the Emperor along with Ol' Gaunt but we are talking about Tyranids. What about the Imperial Navy orbiting the planet? Are the hive ships giving them much trouble because I find it hard to believe they would allow the Imperials free go at a planet they already spent Bio-resources on.
4th (Crossover). Now here's the hard question. Since this is a crossover FanFic there will be, no doubt, lots of debate. How will you make the Ponies of Equestria adapt? I ask that as an absolute. They adapt or they die. Your bringing one of those most lethal, dark, grim, etc. etc. Universe into MLP:FIM. Even when the ponies go "Oh yeah! The apes are killing the bad guys! Wait why are they pointing their guns at us now?" I mean any fan of WH 40k knows how religiously hardcore the Imperium is. Not a human? Bad news for you chum unless you can prove not only your undying loyalty to the Emperor, fight for the Emperor and ditch any belief in Celestia. There is no other God in the Imperium's eye.
Your story opens very quickly and face paced. Like jumping on a Valkyrie and being thrown a Lasgun but having no clue on where you're going or who you're fighting. Loving it so far!
This can work to your favor depending on how well you describe certain scenes. The speed however also points a certain panic in the reader as it spells a invading shadow upon our peaceful world of Equestria. On to the next chapter!
Well that is the most believable scenario I see happening without too much flashlight laser fights going on. The first contact is about as politically unstable as it can get without war breaking out.
Not sure how Rawne is going to react in the future to this society and culture but it shall be interesting. Short but necessary chapter. Keep up the good work so far Venter.
1925119
Thank you so much! :-)
Re: The 8 foot tall creatures; they were genestealers. I was going for a genestealer cult; basically, the genestealers infect a member of another species. It gives the host a psychic connection to the brood patriarch, and alters their reproductive system such that their eventual offspring will be progressively more and more genestealer-y. It's common for genestealers to establish such a cult on a planet before the main hive fleet shows up.
Re: Point 3, you'll have to wait and see ;-).
Re: Point 4... this is the hard one. While the imperium is extremely fanatical as a whole, they do have reasonable elements. Where the =][= gets involved, it varies tremendously based on the individual Inquisitor - they have a tremendous amount of autonomy usually. And despite the amount of anti-xenos sentiment in the Imperium, they do work with aliens, sometimes incorporating them into the Guard (albeit almost always as an inferior race) - see Ogryns and Ratlings. What this has in store for the ponies, only time can tell.
Gaunt's Ghosts?
I'm wary, because Abnett is my favorite author ever. I was screaming into a pillow every time you brought back a real ghost, because Dan made me care so much about them, and it's still emotional to think about. So you're writing on a knife's edge.
Fortunately, your brief snippets here managed to stay pretty well in character. Bravo, but remain vigilant; the better the writer you're trying to imitate, the more critical that writer's fans will naturally be. I'll try to go easy on you. The first chapter was pretty good. The Tyranid carnage was vivid and the Princess bits felt believable. The writing is also pretty good; no significant problems and it reads well. So keep that up.
One confusion I did have was: How do the Ghosts know anything about Tyranids? They've never fought them before, never even been mentioned appearing in the Sabbat Worlds. Orks appear in a flashback, the Eldar show up that one time, and a single Dark Eldar causes some trouble. And the loxatl, of course. But no 'nids. So how are they talking about them like "oh hey, look, fething Tyranids again?"
1926999
See... here's the thing; Ratlings and Ogryns aren't xenos, they're mutants known as "abhumans." Abhumans have mutations that deviate from Humanity's perfect form, but they're stable, so they're considered "safer" than filthy Chaos mutation. That's why they're allowed in the Imperium and the Guard. And true, individual Inquisitors have the leeway to treat with vile xenos as they see fit, but it's pretty deep into Radical territory to even consider xenos as more than pawns to be expended at the earliest opportunity. The average faithful citizen has been indoctrinated since birth that if it's not human, it makes the EMPRAH cry. The Ghosts were pretty liberal with the Eldar that one time, so the "common enemy" card can work, but level of "let's get on with it," premeditated collaboration I'm seeing is a stretch.
And don't call it a "stylized =][= symbol." That's internet shorthand, and shouldn't appear in "literature" (and I use the term lightly). Call it an "I" please.
Thought for the Day: Consort not with the heretic, the bestial, nor the Dark Powers. All seek to usurp Ponykind's right supremacy.
1926999
This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Name of Story: Gaunt's Ghost ( With Ponies! )
Grammar score out of 10 (1 is grammar that needs to be worked upon as basic principles such as capitalization and spelling is an issue, and 10 is impeccable): 2
Pros :
# Finally Dan Abnett's work get some love from brony community.
# Lines between Ghosts seems quite good.
# Some descriptions were marvelous.
Cons :
# Sorry bro, but you got A LOT of mistakes. And Harkin? The buck? Who is he?
# Some mistakes with a lore. First of all :
- Rawne with Chainsword? Wat? Actually, this wouldn't be that bad, but Rawne is known to be EXPERT with his long silver knife ( he killed a few Orks with knife throwing and save even Gaunt's life with it in "Ghostmaker" ).
- There are no dates and even in what Segmentum it takes part. Gaunt's Ghost were fighting on the far side of Segmentum Pacificus, and there aren't any Tyranids, so again, lore struck.
# Action is too fast! Seriously, it's really chaotic, even for experienced Warhammer 40.000 fan.
# I will write it second time, because it's really important. This story is so chaotic. For example, during the dialogue between Rawne and Royal Guard, you made this :
This is serious world-building, and you made it really bad, by just saying it in the face without any explanation and some serious describing.
Notes Section :
Well... Get some Editors or such, because ( sorry, I will be cruel ) this story is quite bad. This story needs some serious stuff to be made. Despite this, I will give you a Favourite, because it has a potential, but now this is in a great need of some corrections.
Enjoy your review! Please help me out by looking at my story this story: Equestria First and Only
By the way, you made a Gaunt fic just a two days later than me
. Good luck in writing.
Stay Awesome
Verlax
1930535
Actually the Imperium has a number of client species, like the Jokaero. A species that is useful and poses no threat might be brought under Imperial control rather than exterminated.
1932830
Eh... yeah, I suppose. I'd characterize the Jokaero issue more as "well, these xenos just sit around all day and tinker, so as long as we keep bringing them stuff we want tinkered on, we'll use them." I'd say they're more akin to a kind of tech-slave race, except if an Inquisitor really tried to detain one, I would imagine the Jokaero would be able to just tinker themselves a way out. And they would by no means be allowed out of the presence of the Inquisitor, which is a far cry from the "integration into the Guard" that's being hinted at with our beloved ponies. So yes, sometimes intelligent xenos are harnessed for the benefit of Mankind instead of purged. But it is rare, and kept very quiet, because the very notion is heresy for anyone but an Inquisitor.
'right, group fun time goEDIT TWO ADVERTISING AAAHG: This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping AuthorsSo, I see this has already been done, but that's okay because I've not read Gaunt's Ghosts (or indeed any Dan Abnett work for quite a while) and a fresh perspective is thusly my excuse. Huzzah. Anyway,
(Edit grammar score: Grammar score out of 10 (1 is grammar that needs to be worked upon as basic principles such as capitalization and spelling is an issue, and 10 is impeccable): uh seven; spotted some errors and oh dear sweet celestia the end of chapter two is an eyesore; Also, space it out a little bit more. Maybe it's me, but you start your pargraphs on the next line
like this; don't do that.
Do this.)
Pros: Good dialogue. The style of dialogue is handled especially well, what with the ponies, and the interactions; the only gripe I have with the dialogue is 'apes'. It's stated absolutely nowhere that Equestria has apes, so therefore, it's thin ice mentioning them. Personally I prefer to think that there are no apes on Equestria because contrast, so it's just preference. The dialogue is quite good, though.
Another Pro: Situation... Explaining. I can't call it world building, because I'll get to that, but I really like the fact that you explain Equestria's relationship with the Warp and the implications thusly (I.E. eternal night = oh dear god warp forever). It's all handled quite nicely.
Cons: First of all, the pace. The events that took place in the two chapters you posted could have been five, or six chapters. Not cool. What really needs to be understood is that you can fit so much more into an event than just 'x happened, ponies die' and there's so much more leading up to an event. What fanfiction is all about is to sit there and ask 'what if' and then try and tell others what, in fact, if. What I'm not getting from the story is what if! A little bit of it, sure, but there's a bunch of things to be explored and it's just not being explored. Which, actually, leads me to my second argument.
Second Con: World Building, learn it. Uninstall the game. No, wait.
Seriously, though, you need to do world building. There's not enough of it. And I'm not saying that you need more chapters to be thorough, I'm saying that you need more world building. Now. In your first and second chapter. Like I said before your, y'know, explaining of things is good, you're just not explaining things!
Thanks for the read,
- Revolver.
(lol the only story i have)
Well written, and I am curious how you explain the ponie's magic when it is not psi. Necron-tech based infectious nano robots that lie dormant for generations if need be until they find sufficient brains to upgrade, perhaps?
Tell me you're still alive.
wait,isn't everything a suicide mission for the imperium's heroes?and don't they always win?
*pokes author with a sollex-aegis energy blade*
I want this to continue. Please.
8910163
Me too