Chapter Five
“So Rodney, what is that?” the newly promoted Colonel John Sheppard asked his more scientific friend Rodney McKay. He was referring to the device that sat in high orbit around the sun that the Daedalus was sitting a respectable distance away from. They, along with Teyla Emmagan, Ronon Dex, Dr. Carson Beckett, and Dr. Jennifer Keller, were chosen to investigate to find out what had happen to theFirestorm. It was well known that the Firestorm crew was going to be made majorly of scientists and though Eric didn’t mind that, he did mind, though, being considered nothing more than a science experiment. Which more than a few scientists did, much to his chagrin. Rodney was among this crew for about five minutes until John set him straight with his secret weapon, a lemon. So it came as no surprise when he was given several hours to get to the Theta Site, he decided to take the long way to stall. They immediately knew something was up, when halfway through his journey he contacted Atlantis with coordinates to a star system and sensor readings of an Ancient Device. He was streaming real time when he was cut off, but it was enough to see that he was pulled in violently when the Firestorm got too close. That was the reason why they were a good distance away; they couldn’t tell what had happen to the Firestorm or what the device did and were not about to lose two vessels over it.
“I think it’s some sort of long range transportation device. The raw data we got from the Firestorm's sensors along with the visuals show that that weird gate at the center of that thing when combined with the tuning like forks, cause a ripple in space-time, which caused the Firestorm to be pulled in the first place. This shouldn’t be possible! That stargate shouldn’t even be able to work!” the canadian scientist said typing irritably at his tablet.
“Apparently it is, because there isn’t speck of debris from the Firestorm to be found,” Colonel Caldwell said from his set in the command chair. “Besides this thing was made by the Ancients, who invented the stargate. They probably know a lot more about the inner workings of the gates than you do Doctor,” the Colonel said with a smirk hidden by the status report of the Deadalus that he was reading, earning a glare from the egoistic scientist.
“Anyway,” Teyla interrupted before an argument could breakout, “If it is like the gates, would it not go somewhere with another one on the other side? Wouldn’t Eric just use that to return from where he is?”
“Maybe the device that works as a DHD is damaged or he just doesn’t know how to work it?” John said hesitantly. “Or he could have gotten sidetracked.”
“We won’t know unless we follow him into the gap.”
Rodney made a face at that thought, “If this is like the gates, there could be hundreds of them. We could wind up in a completely different galaxy than him and have the same problem he’s having, not being able to communicate with Earth which he would have done as soon as he could.”
“That is an easy fix, just bring some of the communication stones. Those things have an unlimited range that we know of, use little power, and take up less room than a P90. Add to the fact that the Asgard beaming tech can be used to make anything we need so long as we have enough power to do it, we could easily last long enough to find him. We could also grab a gate to stay connected to Earth with, so if we do find the Firestorm you can easily hook it up to the ZPMs onboard and if we need more power we might be able to to route power to the gate with the solar dives to recharge like they try to do on the Destiney, but failed because of the the age of the thing,” John replied.
Rodney muttered something indecipherable before nodding in agreement that he had a point.
“Colonel Caldwell, contact Atlantis, let’s see if we can do some exploring.”
------Firestorm’s hangar bay_---_
“This is so not cool,” Rainbow Dash said as she did a lap of the bay for the hundred plus time. “I am so bored.”
“I don’t see why. The commander of this vessel gave us access to the ship’s database. Sure it’s only voice with pictures, but I still learned a lot about the Tau’ri,” Twilight said as she listened to a tablet.
“Really? Like what? Are they same sort of super ponies that can shoot lasers from their eyes or have super cool powers?” Dash asked as she tried to grab the tablet.
“Well, first they are related more to apes than equines. Two they don’t have ANY powers or magic whatsoever. Three, stop grabbing my tablet and I will tell you what they can do,” Twilight said as she pushed Dash away a bit. As the multicolored mare settled down, Twilight began anew.
“They are interesting to say the least. Accounting to this, though, they have only been in space for about twelve years and already have taken down three major galactic threats and are working on the fourth.” At this Dash raised an eyebrow.
“Twelve YEARS? And they have all this already?! Either their years are a lot longer than ours or someone is laying on the propaganda thick,” Dash said as she waved her hooves around in disbelief.
“The Chief said that we are going to be in hyperspace for about an hour and this says that a day is twenty-four hours long with three hundred and sixty five days in a year.”
“Same as ours?”
“Yes. Well this says seventy years ago they found an artifact. This artifact turned out to be a device that was determined to create one way wormholes to another device which they labeled as a stargate. They figured out how to work it about fifty years later, taking a team of military personnel and scientists to another planet. There, they found out that their galaxy, The Milky Way, was under control of an alien parasite called the Goa'uld. Which are snake like creatures that take control of a human for a host forcefully. After nearly having a bomb sent back through the gate, they decided to leave it alone until an attack came through the stargate forcing the country which had the stargate at the time to form Stargate Command to find a way to protect their planet with a secondary objective of getting rid of the Goa'uld System Lords. A few years later they managed to build their first starship, the Prometheus, by using reverse engineered Goa'uld ship tech.”
“Wait, wait, back up a bit. They were fighting a spacefaring race without SHIPS!” Dash said in utter disbelief. For a race to go up against a spacefaring race for any amount of time and not be blasted into oblivion from orbit is unbelieveable. “How?”
“Apparently they found allies. Their first ally was the Asgard who put their planet under their protection that kept the Goa'uld out of their system, while the stargate allowed them to strike without worry of their planet being attacked. The only reason why the Asgard didn’t take care of the Goa'uld themselves is because they were too busy with a threat in their galaxy, the Replicators.” At this Dash nodded in understanding. The Asgard was their shield and the Tau’ri became the Asgard’s sword.
“Another ally was the Tok’ra, a sect of Goa'uld that objected to the ways of the System Lords and only took hosts that volunteered, hurt or sick, and still the host still had a say in things. They had a massive network of spies and connections and made espionage into an art.
After the downfall of the Goa'uld was all but assured, the Tau’ri helped the Asgard against the Replicators. The Replicators were advanced robots capable of reproducing themselves indefinitely, consuming all available resources in an area to create more of themselves. They could absorbed energy from weapons fire and take over most technology. Turns out their low tech firearms were extremely effective against the block form Replicators compared to the energy weapons the Asgard used. There later came a form of Replicators that were made of nanite cells that was only able to be destroyed by the Replicator disruptor, built by the Asgard in conjunction with the Tau’ri, that rendered each block inert.”
“So they are fast when they fight and probably don’t pull any punches,” Dash said in thought. “That two threats. What’re numbers three and four? Oh and how many ships do they have and what’s their fighter specs, if you have it?” Dash said. She then raised an eyebrow, “They do have a fighter right?”
“They have seven ships counting this one. The others are theDaedalus, Apollo, Odyssey, Sun Tzu
, and George Hammond of the Daedalus class, and the Prometheus the lead ship of her class which just got reinstated for production. Their fighter is the F-302 space superiority fighter armed with two railguns and four missiles and, wow, we need to get this, is hyperspace capable, rated for intra-system travel.”
“Now that is cool! Hyperspace capable fighters! I wonder how they got the drive small enough to fit, cause I remember that AJ said a hyperdrive could only be so small before weird stuff starts happening,” Rainbow Dash said thinking of how that would open up new tactics and how to counter them.
“Well it said that it was for intra-system jumps only so it’s likely they drop range for size.”
“Well there is something that will be helpful to trade for, but for what?”
“That is above our pay grades, Dash.”
“True, now the other two threats”
“The Ori were ascended beings from another galaxy enforcing, quote ‘Follow my religion or die’ unquote. That’s all it says. I wonder why,” Twilight said as she fiddled with the screen.
“Probably something to do with what they did to defeat them. Maybe something that they are not proud of how they had to defeat them.”
“Maybe Dash, though I shudder to think of what would make them feel like that, since what history I have found show that on their own planet they had battles in wars that made the wars that we had on look like schoolyard scuffles. With deaths in the millions on ONE side.’”
“Yikes. I see why you feel that way and if that is true than I can somewhat believe that they could do that in roughly twelve years.”
“Chief Migzaiz told me about the Wraith. How I understand it is that the Wraith are to the humans as the Senris are to us.”
“That has to be a problem.”
“It would be if they were in the same galaxy and if they didn’t have an ally in a Wraith called Todd that didn’t make a serum that took away the need for them to feed on humans and let them eat regularly,”
“That is helpful,” Dash said surprise that such thing was possible.
“Indeed it is...”
“Twi what’s wrong?” Dash said as she saw her old friend had paled and felt her shock flow from her though their bond of the Elements.
“A-a year ago their homeworld was attacked, they still aren’t done counting the dead which, at last count, was over ten million. Also apparently that their government was hiding the stargate for all that time, so the attack and later disclosure of the stargate sent shockwaves through the population,” she said quietly thinking that sure they lost a lot more beings than that in all but never that much at once on the same planet in one day. “Dash these ponies are hurt and angry. If what this says is even half true than they’ve been fighting with not even a twentieth of their total potential, Dash. Just think what will happen if they go all out on something.”
Dash said nothing, but did shudder. Then jumped as the ship deck shuddered a couple of seconds later.
“Hmm, its seems that their hour and our hour is the same. So I guess he will be callin...” Twilight was cut off as she was surrounded by a flash of light.
“Or he will be teleporting you up there,” Dash said with a smirk as she imagined her friends face as she took off for another lap. Only to be hit by the wall as the vessel shook and shuddered as alarms went off.
__--__\
“You know the rules about interfering, Janus.”
“I didn’t interfere.”
“You did.”
“Really, tell me where it says in the “Rule of Ascended Beings Book” that I can’t descend to replace two crystals and do a little recalibration on something I barely finished making before I ascended. Because last time I checked we couldn’t use our powers on the lower planes which I didn’t. Especially since every other thing I made either went rogue or blew up specultaly.”
“...”
“Ha, you know I’m right, so you can do anything to me.”
“You are impossible.”
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Apologies folks, some real life stuff on my end, as well as working on my own writing projects and a map for a table top in Minecraft. As for the story:
Seems we've got a wise ass on our hands, and not just any old wise ass. The name should have tipped me off last time, what with it being that of a Roman god. I didn't really notice until I went and looked backa t Chapter 4, trying to remeber which one I needed to edit, though.
~Lexiocn, Editor for The Sixth Race
Can't get the Author notes thing to work so this is going here. Here is chapter five, sorry about the wait. Hit a thick writers block and real life for both me and Lexicon my prereader has been hell, but here it is. Just so you know I am going off of the series with majority of it from Atlantis, I seen Sg-1 and Destiny crossovers but haven't seen an Atlantis one yet. Since no one ever reads blog posts, I am putting this here. I need somehelp with names for ships and was wondering if you guys or gals could help out, their is more infor in the blog.
I have no idea what you are taking about.
As for the new season most of the episodes fit in very well and the new one Keep Calm and Flutter On actually makes my story a little easier to believe, since Discord is good now. Him killing the mane six will probably cause him to kill himself even if he was under control of a mind leach thing. As for the rumors about Twilght becaming an alicorn? Well lets just say if that does happen that is when this story will take a right turn off the tracks of canon.
2021744
Just wanted to point out that unless it was classified and not in the database, Stargate displayed several obvious examples of magic as the Ponies see it.
By this I mean Psionics (Telekinesis (Cassandra), Summoning Lighting(Merlin/daniel), Telepathy(Tayla, Niriti's experiments)), Healing(Nox)), or Biological powered Extensions to real life science, not Suffiently Advanced technology. (Like teleporters, energy shields, energy weapons, the stargate itself, Sarcophagus), and pretty much everything else that is not Earth tech at the beginning)
Still, looking forward to more!
2021855
Some of the walls are for people who hasn't watched stargate. I am a first time writer. Nyx in the story is close to a thousand years old, is military trained, and has watched her mother killed in front of her and with countless others. Plus she is in a middle of a war and a powerful new player, the Tau'ri, has showed up so trying to handle this with out stepping on any toes to say at the least. So how in the hell do your expect her to be? As soon she get to know them abit more her demeaner will change to more of a version that may be what you want. Thank for the criticism.
May the flames of criticism temper your steel, as you beat on the anvil of imagination.
That right there is a quote that I think of when I take criticism from someone about a story.
2021918 The power bit is classified because he only gave them the parts that were release after the public became aware of the stargate.
Is this from a alternate timeline of when Anubis attacked or something else? It's a little while since I saw Stargate (the whole SG-1, partly Atlantis and none of Destiny)
2021744
Mother of Celestia...
Work on this or I will find you and slap you.
I'm not usually one to blast at bad writing, but if the jerkiness of the pace doesn't fix itself I don't know what I'm gonna do. The characters are somewhat in line with what they should be, but the way you make them speak puts them out of that considerably. Improve upon that if you could, and if possible add another proof reader or two to help smooth it out.
2023030
I know, hell I can tell as I'm writing I am messing something up. I am doing my best. If you want to help PM me.
2023027
Takes place after the series, as descride in in chapter two. The Lucian Alliance attacked inforce.
2023125
I would consider, but I have other obligations at the moment.
2023137 You know where to find me.
2023027
It's actually Universe. Destiny is the name of the ship.
2028158 well.... that just shows how much I watched of that!
2028174
Don't worry. I'm only a few episodes into the first of the two seasons, and from what I've seen, it's not that great. Too serious, in my opinion. I mean, I understand the situation the characters are in, but going with that after what SG-1 and SGA were, doesn't work too well.
When's the rest of this coming out?
2729659
Fucking spoilers, I've only read Rama II you prick!
Oh, boy, where do i start? I admidt, it is a decent concept. Though, a means of transport like this, that apparently works but was abandoned doesn't make much sense. There should be a flaw in the system other than the other relay being inactive, and the crew blacking out. That's not a huge issue. I will say though, "Mass Effect Relay" is not a description.
Chapter 2 is an oxymoron. It's not a chapter, it's a history book with a character bio stuck in the middle and a few lines of action at the end. Show, don't tell. I realize it is difficult with that kind of backstory; the best way is probably to have other characters relate history to what is happening in the present. Be careful, doing that too much appears unnatural. A good way might be explaining things to the ponies directly. The problem here is that there aren't really any other characters on the Firestorm. You only mention "the officer at the station" when necessary. Ships limited crews, and you won't have to write about all of them, but to at least give regular bridge officers names adds to the realism.
As far as Eric's personal backstory goes, I'd recommend cutting it entirely, and using it only when it comes up. This is how backstories are handled in real shows like Stargate. SG1 didn't know what happened to Jack's son until an alien entity started parading around in Charlie's form. The team reacted from there. The speech impediment doesn't seem to serve any purpose other than to make your readers scratch their heads. While I'm sure we all love a good scratch now and then, I can't see the benefits of this trait. The one time Eric's impediment manifest itself, he treated it as though he had stepped in a puddle, and neither he nor any of the other characters seemed to notice or care. People who do have such a condition tend to find it embarrassing to the point of shutting down. Also, just to say it, "Chief Warrant Officer" is a mouth-full.
Another thing - you mention the Prometheus being repaired. If you have seen the episode, it is painfully obvious that the ship was not just damaged, but completely destroyed with much of her crew. There was nothing left to repair, and being a prototype (X-303 as opposed to the current F-304 class) would not be rebuilt. At best, some debris might become a museum piece.
As for the Firestorm itself, severy overpowered. You state that the hull design is a giant version of Destiny, which is an extremely old design for the Ancients. From what we can gather, Destiny was launched easily half a million years ago, whereas the Wraith War was a mere ten thousand years. If you were surrounded and outnumbered, would you ditch your Abrams for a Model-T? What I could accept instead is that the Ancients kept an extra mock-up or two of the Destiny around in case they needed reference or simulation material. Think of how NASA has similar duplicates and simulators on the ground for most missions. Such a ship would have deteorated somewhat, but would still be in far better condition than the Destiny itself.
The ship you describe has THREE ZPMs, as much as Atlantis without the bulk of an entire city, AND solar scoops AND neutrino-ion generators added because it was "underpowered." Yeah, right. At least I can take solace in the lack of cold-fusion generators. I could go on, but I think you can see what I'm getting at. Don't tell me the ship was found with 3 functioning ZPMs either. The ONLY reason Atlantis had three ZPMs in the last episode was to wrap up the series. Nothing was going to happen after that episode, so there were no consequences.
Imagining again a Destiny duplicate, retrieved, and upgraded with Asgard beams and transporters, railguns, backup generators and maybe even one ZPM, which has to come from somewhere. The destiny is an exploration ship, not a war ship, and is built to last. Asgard beams, as we saw in a decunt timeline on SGA, can tear a Hiveship to shreads in a few hits. Combine that with standard weapons and railguns for defense, along with shields that can fly into a sun, and you're prettly well off.
Now, why you ask, is such a ship being altered and flown when it could be used to support the crew of Destiny? Because said crew entered stasis for three years - eight years ago. Not a word has been heard from them since. It is presumed that they will be drifting through space for thousands of years, with little we can do about it, so earth has shifted back to technological pursuits. Little tweak of the timeline can change a lot, no?
The ship you propose would have no need to turn, as it could simply shoot it's way through anything in it's path. That isn't a battle, or a story. It's just a fact.
The Ponyville's desctiption could have been more detailed visually, but wasn't terrible. The only issue I have is the 200 missle launchers. Did they line the hull with these things? Fourty would be sufficient for a ship of that class. The engines are probably supposed to be inertia-based, given that "inert" engines won't do much of anything.
When Eric introduces himself, he immediately states that he is marooned far from home. Despite the fact that he just raped their enemies up the butt, that's still an incredibly stupid thing to say. By all means, he should be removed from command for such an admission. Also, it has been stated that beaming technology was not intended for intra-ship transportation, though I suppose that's just a matter of which way the arrays are pointing.
You've said that the Senris ships are big and needle-like, but nothing else. Are they organic like Wraith Ships? What color?
About Nyx, get rid. I don't care how well known that fic is, or how much you like it,there is no excuse for lack of originality. I could see eithe Luna or Celestia jumping onto the bridge like that. As far as the undead ponies are concerned, I have absolutely no idea what's going on there. Seriously, not a clue.
I think that's all the major non-grammatical stuff that bothered me. I will say that Chapter 5 was a perfect moment for Kavannaugh to complain about getting dragged to yet another galaxy.
ΔΓ
Okay, I'm sorry, but this is just badly written.
The grammar is atrocious in areas, the plot structure is disorganized, and so little is well explained.
I can't read this, I'm sorry.
2826983 Sounds like someone has an advanced case of 'stick up the ass'. The story can be easily read and I don't see any major grammar errors.